The Other Option
by abbiebuchanan
Summary: Takes place in New Moon right after Bella jumps off the cliff and Jake takes her home. Covers through Breaking Dawn. Bella learns to live again and the pack embraces her. T for the tent scene. J/B
1. Jake

I don't own Jacob or Bella or Twilight.

This takes place in New Moon after Bella jumped off the cliff and Jake brings her home. They start out in her truck talking. This is how I would have wanted things to go :) First story ever! Review?

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"You can't keep blaming yourself for everything, Bella. He hurt you. His whole family tore you apart and left you. Why do you blame yourself for that?"

"I don't blame myself." I said mechanically.

"Bella, I can see that you do. I just don't know why."

"Jacob..." I didn't want to do this now.

"How could he do that to you…? I don't understand. And you miss him! You _love_ him. Still. After everything he put you through. Just give yourself a chance to _breathe _again. Give your life a chance now that he's gone." His eyes were angry and his forehead was creased.

"Even if I could love you, Jacob, I'm still…broken. If I loved you, how could I let you be with me if you only get to have a part of me?"

"I'd take you just as you are. I could put you back together. I've already started to." He pleaded.

He was right. "But I should be fair to you."

"Bella, you and I both know life is never fair." He said in bitterness. "You think I don't wish I could give you better than what I am, too?"

I hated when he was upset. "Jake, you're perfect."

His eyes turned hard and he slapped the steering wheel with his palm. "If I was perfect you would want me."

"I can't say anymore that I don't."

He looked down at me, his big brown eyes scrutinizing my face. He skin of his cheeks and jaw bone blended perfectly into his neck and shoulders. His arm wrapped around me put warm pressure on my back and I felt safe. He closed his eyes.

"Tell me if there's a chance. I know you don't feel the same way I do about you now. I know that. But later… could you?"

I knew I couldn't ever be to him what I was, or what I thought I was, to…Edward. But I could see myself trying. If Jacob is the only person who can hold me together, how could I not be near him and ever breathe on my own again? But it was unfair to him.

"I don't care what you think is fair." He said, reading my mind. "Bella," he breathed.

I was so exhausted. My throat still burned from the salt water as I took a deep breath. My eyelids started to fall.

He stroked the side of my face, sighing. "You must be exhausted. We can talk later, after you've slept." I nodded. Jacob knew everything. "I'll bring you inside."

He walked over to my side of the cab and helped me down. I felt him eyeing me, gauging me to see if I could walk myself inside, and decided it would probably be safer for me if he just carried me. I was clumsy enough without the impending exhaustion.

Charlie wasn't home when Jacob brought me in. He sat me down in a kitchen chair and started to flip on the lights.

"I can stay here until Charlie gets home..."

"It's okay, Jacob. You don't have to stay. Everyone at the reservation needs you. Leah and Seth…" I sighed.

"I really don't want to leave you like this. I probably should've taken you to the hospital…," he muttered. "Why don't you go get ready for bed and I'll call and see if Charlie is coming home any time soon."

I nodded and got up to make my way slowly to the stairs. Every part of my body ached inside and out. I walked into my bathroom and started to slide of my heavy, wet jeans. They were caked in sand and gravel and I tried to fold them up in a way that kept all the dirt from getting on the floor. My shirt was damp and dirty, too, and I saw the arm of the sleeve had ripped, probably from the rocks I hit underwater.

Half-naked, I looked in the mirror. I hadn't looked this rough in a while. I couldn't remember what I had looked like in the months immediately following my abandonment, but there were a few instances when Charlie suggested awkwardly that I brush out my hair or wash up. I looked absurdly messy now – my hair a tangled mess strewn with dirt, grime and salt, and for a moment I felt embarrassed at having Jake see me this shape. I had to remind myself that he'd seen me looking, and feeling, much worse.

It was obvious Jacob had decided to stay- I could hear voices floating up from the TV and someone rummaging around in the kitchen. Charlie must not be close to coming home or Jake would have left already. I figured the TV and food would keep him occupied long enough for me to take a shower.

I took my time letting the warm water heat my skin and steam soothe my throat. The water droplets slid over my forehead and eyelids, across my shoulders and down to the backs of my knees and it felt nice. I towel dried my hair and combed it out, putting on a sweatshirt and yoga pants for bed.

There was a startling knock on my bathroom door and I jumped. "Bella?" Jake's deep voice sounded. "Are you okay?"

"You can come in."

I heard his hand grab the doorknob but he hesitated. "Um, are you sure?"

I smiled a little. "Yeah, Jake, it's fine, I'm dressed."

He opened the door and leaned up against the door frame with his arms crossed while I rung out a little bit more of the water left in my hair.

Looking at me, he crossed his arms across his chest. "You were taking a long time so I came up to check to see you hadn't fallen asleep in the shower."

I smiled again. "What would you have done if I had?"

He cleared his throat and shifted his weight. "Your dad isn't coming home for a long time, and I really don't feel comfortable leaving you…"

"If you think it would be okay with Billy, you can stay. I don't have another bed for you, though..."

"Don't worry about a bed; I'll sleep on the couch." He suggested.

"If you're sure," I said, doubtful.

"Positive." He replied, nodding.

I put the towel down and yawned. "This isn't going to be much of a fun sleepover. I'm already half asleep."

"That's okay, Bells. I'm wiped. It's been a long day for me, too." He did look tired, still, even after his short nap back at his house. His eyes were rimmed in red and the shadows under his eyes were pronounced. Poor Jacob, he really got worked hard.

I yawned again and swayed a little where I stood. Definitely needed to crash. Now.

"I guess I'll let you go to sleep now, then. Can you make it to your bed?"

I nodded weakly and started moving, slowly, to my room. Slipping through water on the bathroom floor, my feet flew out from under me as they so often did and I almost hit the ground hard. Or, I would have, had Jacob not caught and steadied me. My face had hit against his chest as I fell, and while it was undoubtedly softer than the floor, it didn't feel particularly great. His arms were wrapped around me now, though, and that did feel good.

"Sorry," I mumbled, my voice muffled by his chest.

Jake chuckled. "I was going to ask for a goodnight hug, anyway..." Confident I wouldn't fall if he loosened his grip on me, he put one hand on the small of my back and one calloused hand on the back of my head. He leaned down to rest his face against my hair and I could feel his soft breath warm the places he touched. The fingers of the hand on my back moved ever so slightly. For once I didn't protest his affection; I was too tired.

"Bella… I care about you," he breathed.

"I know," I sighed. I didn't want him to push it now. All I wanted was sleep.

"Good. I hope you sleep well. I'll be downstairs on the couch if you need me." He let go of me and started to turn.

"Good night, Jacob."

"Good night, Bells."

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Thanks for reading :) More to come - chapter 2 almost done!


	2. Nightmare

My room was dark and the sheets were cold as I crawled into bed. I hadn't felt this tired – these aches – in a long time. I was asleep, utterly unconscious, in a matter of seconds.

I hadn't been asleep long before a shiver of cold air woke me up. I rolled over, eyes squinting, appraising my empty room. My window was cracked open, the moonlight spilling in and the icy wind filling my room, rustling papers and photographs strewn about.

Edward. He's here – he's come back! I sat up a little straighter in bed, squinting harder in the dark to find him.

A flash of orange and my enemy crouched beside me, teeth snarling, red eyes glowing in the dark. She blocked the door way, arms spread low as if to keep me from passing.

My death had arrived. Charlie. Renee. _Jacob._

I let out a blood-curdling scream.

My door was slammed shut with a loud bang as Victoria advanced, preparing to kill me.

Or had my door just been swung open? Confusion. It was light. Had I died so quickly? I had expected her to kill me slowly. My face was wet with blood on my cheeks and neck, and by the feel of things it had soaked into my pillow, too. My damaged throat seared with pain.

"BELLA!" a frantic voice boomed. "Bella, what's happening? Are you alright?"

Jacob? I tried to get my senses back in order.

"Why are you _screaming_?" he questioned, exasperated. He collapsed on the end of my bed with his head in his hands. The veins in his neck and arms were pulsing. I could see he was trying to calm himself down, rocking back and forth slightly.

"I…I'm sorry. I was having a nightmare." I said quietly.

"Gah, Bella, don't _do_ that. We don't need any more heart attacks today." He mumbled into his palms.

I brought my knees up to my chest under my sheets, curling myself into a ball. There was no Victoria here, and I was relieved. But there was no one else, either… I hated myself for the way _his _return was still a possibility to me. I was still hoping for it… He wasn't coming back. Not now, not ever.

I watched as Jacob pulled at his hair a little bit and then looked up at me. "Are you crying?"

Was I? I reached up to feel my face with my hands and brush the hair out of my eyes. My face was wet like it had been in my dream, but not with blood. Salty tears coated my fingers and ran down to my palms. I stared at them as the warm drops made tiny rivers down my hands.

One of Jacob's warm hands wiped more of the tears from my cheeks. He was calmer now, but still tense. His eyes were red and so, so tired. It pained me to know that it was partly my fault.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. I nodded. He searched my face. "Do you want me to sleep in here tonight?"

Though I was wary of having Jacob in here, the thought of having no nightmares was too enticing to pass up. "Sure."

I scooted over in my bed, making as much room as I could for what I could only think of at this moment as my personal bodyguard. Jacob stretched out next to me on his stomach, on top of the covers. I pushed my pillow towards him, feeling bad for the inconvenience of my tiny bed, but he shook his head and pushed it back. "Just go to sleep," he mumbled, and I could see that he was already drifting out on me.

My legs and back throbbed with a mix of pain and exhaustion and my throat still felt like it was on fire. Jacob was already snoring, his back rising and falling with every deep breath, and though it was soothing I couldn't fall asleep. I felt my stomach begin to tie up in knots. This felt too similar to the past, when Edward had been here with me…

I stopped myself. That was over. No one was coming back for me. Jacob was here now, my Jacob, my own personal guard and sun, and that should have been more than enough.

I shut my eyes, trying not to think of Victoria, or him, or Harry Clearwater or anything else. There was so much to avoid in my mind…so much pain and fear I didn't want to deal with - but I couldn't keep it all out at once. I scooted closer to Jacob so I could feel the heat waves coming off of his body and the barely noticeable vibrations of his heavy breathing. His veins had relaxed, his forehead smoothed, his mouth relaxed, his body no longer shivering and rocking with tension. He looked peaceful. I studied the features of his face, allowing them to be my only thought, until I could feel myself drifting off. Jacob was my only source of comfort; I was glad he was here.

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This is shorter than my first chapter, but there is more to come! Please REVIEW! Support, critique- anything! It's my first story so I'm really looking for feedback. I'll try to update quickly. :)


	3. Charlie

hey everyone :) so we got 130 hits in less than 24 hours on my first ever story! that's pretty great! what we need now is REVIEWS :) I'll be updating often. enjoy chp 3 :) chp 4 coming later today.

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The backs of my eyelids were steadily getting lighter. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I wasn't awake enough to want to open my eyes. There was a soft rumbling next to me – Jacob was still sound asleep. Thankfully, I'd had no nightmares with Jacob here with me. I felt more rested than I'd felt in a while, and my throat had soothed to a dull pain.

More awake now, I realized how hot I was. Jake's overheated body was turning my bed into a sauna. The extreme heat wasn't exactly comfortable, but again it was a comfort. As much as I loved having Jacob here protecting me from Victoria and appreciated the luxury of a dreamless night, I hoped he didn't think more of this little sleepover than I did. Not that he was thinking anything of it at the moment – Jake was old cold – but later I hoped he would see this as what it really was – practically a nonevent under weird circumstances – and realized this wouldn't become a regular routine.

Lying here, mulling things over, listening to Jacob's breathing and focusing on the heat, I began to slip into another dreamless sleep.

My eyes flew open at the sound of my door being slammed open for the second time today. The bang startled Jacob, too, and he flew over onto his back – which would have been fine had my bed been big enough to accommodate his sudden movement.

"Bella! Have you seen – _oh_!" Charlie. What had originally been urgency turned into awkwardness. His hand still held the doorknob and his wide eyes traveled from me, sitting up on the bed under the covers, to Jake, who was now on his back on my floor looking seriously flustered and sleepy. Charlie hesitated at the door, almost taking a step forward, but instead turned around and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Jake was more awake now, and looked up at me with apologetic eyes. He looked like he was about to say something, but I held up my hand, listening to what was going on outside my bedroom. I could hear Charlie's footsteps clearly because he was still wearing his office uniform and heavy, clunking boots. He sounded like he was…pacing? Walking back and forth, stopping occasionally and grunting to himself. Jake caught on to what I was listening to and a slight smile played across the corners of his mouth and around his eyes. He winked at me. I rolled my eyes and shook my head- this was NOT funny. This was humiliating. At least Jake was wearing a shirt for once.

Charlie, gathering up his determination, stormed back down the hall and swung open my door with a flourish. He planted himself in the middle of the doorway, one step inside my room, and shoved his thumbs down into his gun belt. He looked like a real police officer, and had I not just previously seen his awkward countenance when he first came in, I might've been intimidated.

Jacob did a great job of wiping the grin off his smug face and replacing it with genuine-looking and believable fear. For a spit second I felt a little bad for Charlie- he didn't realize he was about to scold a werewolf.

"So," Charlie said, using his officer interrogation voice, "What's going on here?"

Thinking is might be better if Jake didn't say anything just yet, I interjected. "You didn't come home, so Jake spent the night to keep me company." It seemed innocent enough.

Charlie seemed skeptical. "In your _bed_?"

This looked really bad. "I had a nightmare, so he came in here to sleep. Just to sleep, dad. Promise."

Jacob glanced sideways at me. That got me thinking he was probably thinking about something else besides sleeping now. Awesome.

Charlie cleared his throat and addressed Jake, who's eyes he'd been avoiding. He tugged on his gun belt and stood a little straighter. He sniffed and shifted his weight. "Don't touch my daughter, kid."

"Sure, sure. I won't, Charlie." He seemed sincere. I would remind him of this statement later if I needed to.

"Right." Charlie replied, adjusting his belt again. He looked from Jacob to me once last mortifying time and added, "I'll call Billy and tell him where you are and that you're headed home. He'll probably want to hear from you- he's taking Harry's death pretty hard."

"Thanks, Charlie." Jake responded, getting up off the floor.

Charlie grunted and walked out. As soon as he was gone, Jake's obedient countenance vanished and his face broke into another huge grin. My face, I'm positive, was bright red.

"We'll, how did you sleep?" He asked cheerily, close to laughing. I threw my pillow at him.

"Go home, Jacob!"

"No way, Bells. I'm going running. I've got way to much energy. That was the best night's sleep I've ever had!"

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PLEASE review!


	4. Emily's

CHP 4 up as promised. I'm so excited about my first fanfic that I've cranked out 4 chapters in a little over a day. This will not be the norm. Thank you for the reviews! I'd still LOVE to have MORE! Enjoy chapter 4 :) It's my longest yet.

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I dreaded going downstairs to face Charlie. Though I new he wouldn't be angry, the thought of him speculating over what Jake and I had been doing in my room had my stomach in knots and my face on fire.

I took my time, picking out an outfit for the day with the utmost care- dark jeans, boots and a feminine lace shirt. I brushed our my hair four times and even put on light makeup – a definite rarity in my life. What was the point of putting on makeup just for the infamous Forks mist to wash it off? Oh, yeah. Avoiding Charlie.

There was only so much I could do. The feat of meticulously cleaning my already clean room and washing with little clothes I had that needed washing took all of an hour. It was 10am. Jake would probably be finished with his run now. Maybe I'd sneak down to La Push.

I grabbed a thick, plaid jacket and my keys and headed as quietly as I could down the stairs. I was relieved to see that Charlie was asleep on the couch, the TV on the sports channel and an open can next to him on the coffee table. He was still in his uniform, his heavy boots still laced. I know he must be taking Harry's death hard, but I also knew he would never want to talk to me about it. Charlie had never been one for emotion. That suited me fine, but I felt like this circumstance might call for some extra attention.

Careful not to trip or drop anything, I scribbled a note to leave.

_Gone to the reservation._

_I love you, Dad._

_-Bella_

I didn't mention anything about Jacob, but I knew he would probably assume that I would be with him. That brought another rush of color to my cheeks.

Instead of leaving it on the counter as I normally would have done, I grabbed a new can of soda and left it on the coffee table for Charlie, the note on top. Especially with us, sometimes actions were better than talking. For a moment it crossed my mind that I wasn't the only one taking on the avoidance tactic and that Charlie might be feigning sleep, but I was grateful for the easy cop-out either way and left in a hurry.

Driving down the long road to La Push I hoped Jacob would be there, but I knew there was a chance he might not be – wolf duty and all. If he wasn't there, I'd ask Billy if he knew of anything I could do for the Clearwaters or maybe walk on the beach. Well, maybe not the beach. Alone time was generally a bad thing. The last time I went to the beach by myself Jacob found me curled up in a helpless ball. But it didn't really matter what I ended up doing. Jacob wouldn't be in the forest forever and I had all day.

I was beginning to like Fork's green. The moss, the trees, everything. I used to miss the warmth, but I'd found warmth in Jacob, and now the green seemed more inviting, too.

My truck rumbled to a halt outside the Black's red house. The windows were dark and the shades were drawn. Billy must be at the Clearwaters, and it was obvious none of the wolf pack was here. Sighing, I brought my truck back to life and started driving. Tree and ferns and the never-ending green streaked by my car windows as I cruised down the winding road. I wasn't sure where I was going, but somehow my truck found itself in front of Emily's house. This is where the boys would probably show up first.

Emily's house was quaint and small and I loved it more and more every time I came here. Her house was practically one with the forest. Its exterior was a deep brown wood and it was surrounded, almost engulfed, by plants and ferns and moss. I didn't exactly come here often, and almost never on my own, but every time I had I'd been welcome and food had been abundant – always prepared to feed the ravaging, hungry wolves.

Climbing out of my truck, I walked up to Emily's house. Her door was always open, as if they themselves were anxiously waiting for the return of the wolves. I knocked on the doorframe. No one answered. I ventured inside to the kitchen and was surprised to see Emily wasn't there. It occurred to me that she might not be here, either, and that it would be very strange to be caught wandering around her house alone, but then I heard footsteps coming from the den straight ahead. I started to walk forward to see who was home until I heard the acidic tone of angry voices.

"Leah, I'm sorry. I really am. I know you're hurt. Your life hasn't been fair lately. " Emily pleaded.

"When has it ever been fair?" Leah spat back. I was definitely intruding, but I didn't think I could leave without being obvious.

"Leah, please… there's nothing I can do about…."

"Right, sure. You could just _leave_, you know. Get lost."

Emily didn't respond.

"Love isn't always fair…"

"Yeah, I get it, Emily. Believe me. The whole pack _gets it_. Between you and Sam and Jacob and Bella, the entire pack has experienced life's unfairness first hand." She replied bitterly. "Sam loved me, Emily. He loved me and you shattered it. And Bella knows love isn't fair – it destroyed her – and now she's making sure it'll never be fair for Jacob, either."

The wind was knocked out of me. So everyone thought I was destroying Jacob in some sort of sick revenge? What else did the pack think?

"You can't judge Bella like that, Leah. You don't know anything about their relationship."

"Oh, _please_, Emily. I know more than you ever will. I see Jacob's mind every day. I see the way he looks at her and feel what he feels for her and she gives back nothing. She's completely empty. You haven't known pain until you feel what he feels when he sees her eyes say nothing and feel nothing and _see_ nothing."

"Everyone says she's gotten a lot better…"

"She's cruel to Jacob. She's destroying the pack. She has to go. And I wouldn't be heartbroken if you left with her, either."

Emily's sad eyes looked past Leah's shoulder to where I was struggling to breathe. Leah turned on the spot, saw me, balked in disgust and stormed out, slamming into me as she passed. Emily watched her go, eyes unfocused.

What was I doing to Jacob? How could I hurt him so much? Why hadn't he told me the pain I was putting him through? Why was I so stupid in thinking he could fix me without hurting himself? The edges of the room blurred. My chest hurt. The hole's fragile seams were ripping but for a whole new purpose.

The next thing I knew, I was lying on Emily's couch with a blanket on top of me. Emily was sitting at my feet, humming, stringing together beads with intricate knots and beautiful patterns. She glanced up as she felt my gaze.

"Are you feeling better?"

"I guess so… did I faint?"

"Well, sort of. You looked sick all of a sudden, so I led you to the couch and you just crashed. Were you tired?"

I shrugged, sitting up and wrapping my arms around myself.

"Bella, don't worry about Leah." Emily said kindly. "She's taking Harry's death really hard among other things. She can't help but be angry. She only means half of what she says. Leah is very difficult."

"I'm really sorry for interrupting. I thought maybe Jacob would be here. I think it would be better if I just went back to my house and waited for him to call." I felt stupid for coming uninvited and causing a scene. I motioned to get up, but Emily grabbed my wrist.

"Please, stay. I'd like to talk with you, if you don't mind."

I sat back down and shifted uncomfortably. Did Emily hate me for hurting Jake, too? She was sort of a mother to all of them, after all. Had I infringed too far across family lines?

"Don't look so worried," she laughed, glancing up at me again. "I'm not as…abrasive…as Leah. I just want to talk."

I tried to relax. Emily continued about her work. Her fingers were nimble and she progressed at a steady pace. The brown strings were woven into such complex, elaborate patterns and the uniquely cut turquoise beads accented it perfectly.

"How are you and Jacob?" she asked casually.

"We're just friends."

"Does Jacob know that?"

"I keep reminding him." I said honestly.

Emily smiled a little. "Boys can be very persistent."

"Jacob and I are best friends. I love him."

"You love him." It wasn't a question. It was obvious I loved him. I was always with him. "Like he loves you?"

"Maybe," I replied. "I'm trying." I added softly. I hoped she knew what I meant.

"I know you are. Take your time, but think of Jacob too, okay? He might look like a man, but he's still a kid." She said gently. I knew she was right.

I sat there on her couch, thinking about what she said for what seemed like forever. Emily said no more and continued on with her soft humming and intricate craft.

After the long silence, Emily spoke again. "Here - I made this for you."

What was previously just beautiful beads and strings was now a breathtaking bracelet. She took my wrist and tied it on. "Quileute magic. It will make you strong."

I twisted my wrist and admired the piece. It was a work of art. "Wow. Thanks, Emily. This is great."

From behind the house, we could hear the sounds of horseplay and male voices. The wolf pack was returning finally. A shower of relief flooded over me.

"The boys are home. Better get some food on the table."

While she pulled out food from a hundred different crevices, I looked out the back window and saw them heading up the path, Sam in the lead. Paul and Jared were next, punching and shoving each other as they walked. Jake and Embry followed behind, but stopped on the path. I wondered why.

Sam walked in and headed straight for Emily. I knew what was coming, and I couldn't stomach it just yet. Slipping quietly out the back door, I stood on the back porch to wait for Jake. I watched as he and Embry talked, Embry's arms folded across his chest and Jake's limply hanging by his sides. Neither of them looked happy.

Embry was the first to walk away, heading back up the path and into the forest. Jake watched him go, and turned towards the house. He looked defeated and his feet dragged.

When he looked up and saw me, his eyes got a little brighter and he smiled. At first, that made me happy. I smiled encouragingly in return and waved. I hated to see him upset. But I got to thinking about what Emily said. I didn't want to lead Jake on if I wasn't ready yet. I stopped waving.

"Hey, Bella! I didn't expect to see you here!" He bounded up the porch steps to me, landing close enough to me that I almost fell backwards, and caught me in a massive hug. Like always, he pressed his face to the top of my head and breathed in. I tried not to let it distract me.

"Oh! Yeah, well, I came to see Emily." I spoke into his chest. It was partly true.

"That's great! I bet she really appreciated that." I wasn't sure if she did or not, so I didn't say anything. "Everyone here is going through a hard time, he continued, "They all hide it well, but it helps to have diversions."

Jake let go of me, putting a hand on either one of my shoulders, saying, "Let me get something to eat and then we can go do something, okay?"

I nodded. He took my hand and led me inside.

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Chapter 5 coming asap! PLEASE REVIEW!


	5. A Walk With Jacob

Here's another fairly short chapter. Definately another one up either tonight or tomorrow.

**QUESTION: do you guys think my characterizations are alright? im struggling to get jake's mannerisms down and the dialouge might be off. suggestions welcome in REVIEWS! team jacob. **

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CHP 5 : A WALK WITH JACOB

All the boys aside from Embry were in Emily's kitchen now. The table was laden with food- muffins, eggs, potato chips, fruit – all of which the wolves were scarfing down at a rapid, inhuman speed. Paul momentarily looked up from one of his plates (if you could even call it a plate- it was more like a serving platter) as we entered. His eyes fell to Jake's hand around mine and he grunted, bending over his food and not acknowledging me at all. Paul nudged Jared and his response was the same. My face grew warm and I tried to pull my hand out of Jacob's, but he had a death grip on me.

Jake sat down at the table, pulling up a char for me next to him. Aside from Sam speaking softly to Emily over by the sink and she washed the first round of dishes, the boys were too busy eating. I watched them, feeling slightly out of place. Leah's comments and Paul and Jared ignorance of me stung. Nibbling on a piece of toast, I waited until Jacob finished so we could leave.

After Jacob had eaten at least 4 plates of food, he finally finished. He said something in Quileute to Sam before taking my hand again and leading me out the door. That struck me as odd, but maybe he talked in Quileute a lot and I just wasn't around to hear it.

"What did you say to Sam?" I asked when we were out of earshot.

"Just now? Nothing important, just pack stuff. Would you like to go down to La Push?"

"Sure," I said. That sounded good to me. As we walked, Jacob reached down to grab my hand again.

"Jacob…"

"What? You still don't like this? I can hold your hand and still be your friend, right?" he said, kind of aggravated.

"Your friends don't like it. Your friends don't like _me_."

His forehead creased and he frowned. "Don't worry about them."

I tried to pull my hand away, but he would not let go. I liked that he held my hand – it was comforting – but I didn't want to lead him on when I wasn't ready to fully commit. I sighed and let my hand relax into nothing.

"_Relax_, Bells." He said, squeezing my hand. "Have fun."

The beach was cold. I was thankful I had my jacket.

We walked along the edge of the water, still holding hands party against my will, and Jacob chattered away happily. It reminded me of the first time we'd walked on the beach together, except now Jacob was much taller than me. His voice was also deeper and his muscles and veins were more defined. We continued on for a while, talking about school and the Clearwaters and how everyone was handling it.

"Leah's taking it the hardest, naturally. She wouldn't phase at all today – she didn't want us to see. Of course I feel bad for her. Her life sucks. But I hate that she takes it out on the pack and everyone else. It was nice for it to just be the guys today."

"She hates me." I said quietly.

Jacob glanced down at me, surprised. "Bella, Leah hates _everyone_."

"But _especially_ me. I heard her talking with Emily today."

The corners of his mouth turned down. "She talked to Emily?"

"Yeah, she was there when I first showed up at Emily's. She isn't happy with me… she says I'm destroying the pack."

"What? You're not destroying it."

"She said that you're in pain all the time because of me and the pack feels it too."

The corners of his mouth turned further down."Oh. I'm not…Bella…it's not your fault."

I dropped his hand, stopped walking and looked up at him.

He wasn't looking into my eyes, but over my shoulder out to the ocean.

"Do you really think I feel nothing?" I whispered, soft enough to where I could barely hear myself over the waves.

His eyes looked down into mine, searching my face, studying me. "Bella, I know you still love him…"

Did I?

"I knew this would be hard. I can give you time. I'm trying to help you, to give you what you need, to be there for you. You scared the heck out of me when you went into depression and when your eyes went blank for months." He took a breath. "But I can see the life is coming back. You remember how to smile and laugh and your eyes aren't always dark – not when you're around me. I love you more now than before he left. But I promise I can wait. If you think you'll ever want me."

Jacob was too good for me.

He took my hand and placed it on his face. "This is where your life. I'm _alive_. See?" He brought my hand to his heart. "You can be alive, too. I can see you're slowly coming back. Please." I closed my eyes. "Your life is here now, Bella. With _me_."

I did love Jacob.

But something was wrong with me.

There was something keeping me from loving Jacob fully. Something like a wall between us.

Something I couldn't get far enough past to move forward.

I opened my eyes and looked away and let my hand become limp again. He sighed. "You'll come back all the way some day, Bells. You're gonna be okay."

I nodded. I hoped so.

"I don't mind waiting," he continued, "As long as you let me hold your hand." He smiled.

"Fine." I mumbled, and held out my hand for his.

"Perfect." He said, lacing his fingers through mine. "I could wait like this forever."

I knew he probably would.


	6. The Wrong Idea

CHP 6

Just a head's up- later in this story there's gonna be some action! Victoria is still out there and so is Edward (don't worry, Jacob fans, I'll handle it haha). ***Thanks for all the readers and to Jacob Lupo, JJsMom8506 and SandraHeartsTwilight for my first reviews!*** Critiques welcome- but don't be harsh please!

**Also, I need a chapter name for Chp 1. Suggestions?**

Enough of that, let's get back to some _**Jacob lovin' **_:)

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It was hard to focus at school the following week. As hard as I tried to get into the tragedy of Macbeth, my mind kept wandering. I was still bothered about all that Leah had said. I was worried about the pack. Mostly, though, I was worried about my Jacob. There was no way I could really understand what I was doing to him. I knew he'd never tell me how bad it was for him.

Doodling along the edges of my paper, I was bombarded with a million different thoughts. How long would Jacob really wait for me? How long would it be before I would be normal again? Would I _ever_ be normal again? Gah, what is _wrong_ with me?

I looked down at the bracelet Emily had given me and rubbed my fingers across the pretty stones.

"That's pretty," Angela whispered to me quietly. We had lit together, which I was thankful for. Sitting next to Angela was much easier than sitting next to Mike or Jessica. "Where did you get it?"

"Down at the reservation. One of my friends down there made it for me."

"Ooh. Was it Jacob?" she whispered. I was taken aback a little bit- usually Angela wasn't as direct.

"No, it wasn't Jacob."

"Oh, sorry. I thought it might be. You seem to hang out with him a lot."

I nodded sheepishly. "Every chance I get."

She smiled back kindly. "He must be really nice. Just be careful, Bella. I'm glad to have you back."

I felt bad for the months I'd ignored Angela after _he_ left. Angela had always been gentle and kind and unobtrusive. "It's not like that," I whispered back, shaking my head and pretending to take notes. "We're just friends."

"Does _he_ know that?"

I sighed and shrugged.

"Well," she continued, still whispering, "He is very cute. If you don't mind my saying."

"I don't mind… I agree."

The bell rang and we began to gather our books to leave.

"Tell Jacob I said hi, okay?"

I half-smiled "I will, Angela. See you tomorrow."

Jacob had agreed to take off wolf-duty this afternoon to hang out with me. My truck rumbled to a stop outside his house and he came out to meet me.

Since Jake's VW Rabbit was up and running and the motorcycles finished and stowed away, there was little for us to do. Jacob had been too busy gallivanting through the forest to start any other projects. To pass the time, together we sat on his back porch steps side by side and talked while I drew designs in the dirt with my finger.

"How's Charlie?" Jacob asked.

"He's doing alright. He's not much for talking, but that's not anything new. He's been hanging out with Sue a lot." I added as an after-thought.

"Did he ever mention the little…incident we had?"

Blood rushed into my cheeks. "No, he never said anything about it."

"That's good. So I'm still allowed to come over then?"

"Of course. Charlie would never kick you out."

"I'm not so sure about that," Jacob mused.

"Well, let's not test any waters with Charlie." I mumbled. I shivered a little bit as the wind whipped through my jacket.

Before I could ever register what he was doing, Jake scooted behind me and put one leg on either side of me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled my back against his chest. I tensed, caught off-guard by his sudden change of position. Trying to sit up straighter to keep from touching him, he hugged me a little tighter.

"Calm down," he chuckled in my ear. "I'm only keeping you warm."

The heated air on my neck made me shiver, but I wasn't cold anymore. I tried to relax.

"Jake, I think people are starting to get the wrong idea."

I knew he wasn't paying attention. I could feel his breath on the back of my head now, breathing in the scent of my hair. His right hand started to trace patterns down my arm and across my knee.

"Jacob!"

"Hmm?"

"You're not listening to me."

He leaned his face back from my head and dropped loosened his grip around my body. "What did you say?"

"People are getting the wrong idea. The hand-holding, the constant togetherness, this…"

"Oh," he said nonchalantly, going back to tracing my veins clearly visible through my translucent skin. "Everyone can think what they want."

"No, they're blaming me for leading you on!"

I could hear the frown in his voice when he replied, "You're not…I told you I would wait."

"You call this waiting?" I murmured. He dropped his arms again and this time he was the one that stiffened.

"Sorry."

I sighed and leaned back against him, resting the back of my head on his broad shoulder and putting a hand on his knee. "As long as you know…"

"I do."

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"What were you talking to Embry about the other day? And to Sam? You never told me."

"It was nothing. I already told you that."

"I'm still curious."

He leaned his head down on me. "You'll be upset."

"It wouldn't be the first time."

He gave that some thought. "He doesn't think our friendship is good for me. He's on Leah's side."

My stomach dropped. Embry, too? That's the entire pack, minus Sam, but I didn't know what side he was on.

"Ignore it, Bella. Really. I do." He said bitterly.

"What side is Sam on?"

"Sam doesn't take sides. I was only telling him where Embry had gone. He didn't want to be at Emily's if you were gonna be there."

"Great…"

"Dumb move on his part. Emily's put extra cheese in the eggs she fixed us that day."

I tried not to smile.

"Lighten up, Bells. It's gonna be okay. This is my choice, you know." He picked up a strand of my hair and twisted it around his finger.

"You might be making the wrong one."

"I'm not." He said confidently, firmly convicted.

"We'll see, Jake."

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REVIEW? :)


	7. Legends and Quil

This chapter is longer and a little more exciting! ENJOY! New chp hopefully later this weekend!

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CHP 7 LEGENDS AND QUIL

The Quileute council had sent in a permanent excused absence for Jake and Embry since both of them missed so much school to comb the woods and sleep. Jake and I had lots of time to talk.

I was still worried about Victoria, but Jacob made a point not to talk about her around me. He seemed to be at ease about the whole situation. "Five wolves versus one bloodsucker," he emphasized. "That's hardly a fight at all."

Sometimes I tried probing him for information- being left in the dark wasn't always the least stressful option- but he was stubborn. He'd recently taken to changing the subject and asking me questions to distract me.

"Where did you get that bracelet?" he asked one afternoon when I questioned him while he ate a second lunch, asking how the hunt was going.

"Emily made it for me. Don't avoid the-"

"Lemme see that!" he said, grabbing my wrist and bringing it close to his face. "You said Emily gave you this?"

"She made it for me two weeks ago, I'm surprise you haven't noticed it before – I wear it every day."

"Do you know what this means? To Quileutes."

"No," I shook my head as he studied it closely. "It's just a bracelet, Jake."

"It's not just a bracelet- it's a Quileute talismen! These bracelets- this particular pattern- they have known magic."

I pulled my arm back down. "I thought you didn't believe in all those legends," I said, remembering the stories we'd laughed about when I first moved to Forks.

He looked down into my eyes. "That was before I was a werewolf."

This was true. "Tell me the story, then."

"Legend says there was once a chief's daughter who was really sick and depressed. For months said just laid in her bed and wouldn't eat or talk. She was dying quickly and no one could help her."

That sounded familiar.

"But someone else had been watching her. One night, just before the girl was about to die, a wolf came to her. Even though the girl was weak, she somehow found the strength to follow the wolf into the forest. He led her to a beautiful place where she could see the stars and the moon shining bright. He showed her a waterfall and reminded her of the fun she'd had swimming in the waters when she was younger. He showed her the lives of the other animals and the freeness of those who live in the forest. They spent the night in the forest, the girl and the wolf, and she slowly regained her strength. The earth's beauty restored her.

But the night was ending, and the girl new she would have to go home. She rose to leave, but the wolf stopped her. He went behind a tree and transformed into a man. While the sun rose, he wove a bracelet made from vines in the forest and stones from the ground. He tied it on her and said it would remind her of the earth's beauty- a reflection of what she was- and keep her alive and healthy. The bracelet's magic kept her alive for many years. The wolf watched over her from a distance. Eventually, she gave the bracelet back to the wolf, who of course wasn't aging."

Jacob paused and frowned. After a few seconds, he continued.

"After a while she died, and the wolf remained in the forest to give the magic bracelet to others who found need of it."

"Wow."

Jake nodded. "It's a good story."

"Do you believe it? That the bracelets have healing powers?"

He shrugged. "Well, not _all_ legends are true." He was quiet for a while. "You should ask Emily about it."

I definitely would.

We were soon interrupted by a hard, crisp knock on the front door and Jake got up to answer it. I followed closely behind.

It was Quil Aterra. At first he looked surprised to see Jake, and then his surprise turned to anger. He looked at Jake's bare chest and ripped arms that had grown even bigger than Embry's, and immediately Quil knew.

"You too? What's the deal, Jake? You hardly come to school anymore. Everyone's wondering where you are."

"I've been sick."

"For a _month_?" Quil looked skeptical. "Why haven't you been returning my calls? And where the heck is Embry? I haven't seen him in weeks."

Jake hesitated, reaching up to run his hand through his long hair that was no longer there. His hand fell back to his side. "He's been sick, too."

"You both look fine to me. What are you guys playing at?"

"We're not playing anything. Look, Quil, now isn't really a good time."

He looked around Jake to see me standing in the foyer. "Why is she here? Does she know?" he cried hysterically.

"She understands."

"And I wouldn't? I've been a better friend to you than she'll EVER be!" he shouted.

"Stop, Quil."

Quil looked like he was about to punch him. "Are you just too good for me?"

"It's not like that, Quil. I just can't always come to school and return your calls."

"Why? Does Sam dictate when you can study, too?"

Jake didn't respond.

"Does Billy know about all this? Are you taking advantage of him always being at Sue's now?"

Jacob remained silent.

"Why won't you _tell me_ anything?" Quil shouted. "I'm left in the dark about everything! You and Embry have joined some kind of – I don't know –some kind of sick_ cult_ and you think you own this place!"

His shoulders were shaking, like with the tremors Jake gets when he's about to snap.

"Quil-"

"Don't even, Jake! You're so far gone. Do you even see yourself? You've turned into this shirtless, self-absorbed, strutting idiot just like Sam and Paul and Jared. What did they _do_ to you? I don't even know who you are!"

Jake closed his eyes. His fingertips were starting to shake.

"You don't know what's going on, Quil. It's not what you think."

"THEN PROVE IT!"

"...I can't."

Quil's whole body was starting to shake. Jake pushed me back and stepped in front of me.

That was it.

Quil's body went through a series of mad convulsions. They travelled rapidly down his back and into his arms and legs. At first his face had seemed angry, but for a second I could see his eyes were terror stricken. His body was jerking so hard and so fast I thought his limbs would fly off. His hands gripped the sides of his head and he let out a terrible scream, falling down onto his knees.

Jake turned around, eyes wide and horrified, and grabbed my shoulders. He pushed me down the hall into the kitchen, practically carrying me, and slamming the house phone down into my hand. "Call Sam! NOW!"

He turned to run back down the hall, yanking off his shoes and socks and

I turned around.

_Focus._ Sam. Sam. Sam. My fingers wouldn't fly fast enough as I dialed his number. There was an hour in between each ring. I could hear Jake shouting, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. Quil was still crying out in pain.

He didn't answer.

I called Emily.

"Hello?"

"EMBRY!" I yelled into the receiver. "I'm at Jake's. I need you to find Sam. Quil's changing!"

Embry let out a stream of cuss words and hung up.

I threw the phone down and raced back down the hall to Jake and Quil.

They were gone.

Jake's shorts were on the porch. I tried not to think anything of that. What had previously been Quil's clothes were now an indecipherable, mangled mess of cloth and leather.

I sat down on the porch steps and put my head between my knees. Quil had sounded like he was being tortured. My stomach hurt. I hoped he was okay. I hoped _Jake _was okay.

I don't know how long I sat there, but the sky started to turn a light purple.

I stood up, took a deep breath, and started to pick up the remains of Quil's attire to throw away. I picked up Jake's clothes, too, that were still in tacked. Folding up the pants and picking up his shoes, I brought them to his room. I opened up one of the dresser drawers to put away his shorts. Mistake. That was definitely not a shorts drawer. Blushing, I hurriedly shut the dresser and placed them on the end of his bed.

I couldn't remember the last time I was in Jake's room - or if I had ever been in it.

It was surprisingly small. I wasn't sure how someone his size could fit in here comfortably. The twin bed was unmade and there were a plethora of pairs of shorts scattered around the floor. There was a tiny TV sitting crookedly on top of a very small dresser. Out of the window I could see Jake's garage and the woods, which looked pretty daunting in the impending twilight. Charlie was working one of his rare night shifts tonight. I didn't want to go home.

Jake had left his phone in his room, so I picked it up and sent a quick message to Charlie.

_Staying at Billy's tonight. Hope that's okay_. _See you in the morning._ I made sure I said Billy's. Not Jake's.

There were some pictures taped to the wall in disarray. I leaned up to look at them closely.

The first one was of Jake, Quil and Embry with their arms around each other. Probably around freshman year, they all looked so young. Jake was at least a foot shorter than he was now and was still sporting his long, shiny black hair. His arms and neck were thin and his body was lean. He was fully dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Embry was beside him. His hair was long like Jake's. His shoulders were just beginning to broaden and. Quil stood next to him. The smallest of the three, he stood up the straightest and had a self-assured look on his face. It reminded me of how he acted the first day I met him in Jake's garage. That seemed like such a long time ago.

The second picture was more recent: picture of the wolf pack. All five of them were on Emily's porch. Sam stood, arms crossed, leaning up against the porch banister and looking past the camera. Paul had his arm around Jared, but by the look of the picture, Paul had used this opportunity to slap Jared on the side of the face. Embry was looking at them, laughing, an apple in one hand and a box of crackers in the other. Jake was in the bottom right corner, sitting on the bottom step leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped. He was looking up at the camera with a tiny, barely noticeable smile on his mouth. All of them wore shorts and tennis shoes. They looked like brothers.

Jacob was easily the most handsome of the wolves and was already bigger than Embry and Jared even in the picture. The sun played off the top of his hair –which had been just recently cut in the picture. His chest and arms were perfect, flawless. I was envious.

There was one picture of La Push and one of Jake standing next to his Rabbit, grinning.

The last picture bothered me.

The last was a shot of Jake and me. We were standing in Billy's kitchen. Jake's arm was around me and he was beaming. That wasn't the bad part. The part that bothered me was_ me_. Jake was looking down at me, smiling. Literally beaming. And I wasn't looking back at him. I wasn't even looking at the camera. My head was down. I was looking at my nails. My clothes didn't fit. The dark circles under my eyes were prominent.

Was this what everyone else saw? An energetic, gorgeous man pouring his time and energy into the useless lump of a girl beside him? I looked awful. I certainly didn't look like I wanted to be where I was. I definitely didn't look like I might love him. I didn't blame people for assuming I was leading Jake on. From the looks of this picture, I deserved it.

I _loved_ Jacob. As a brother, as a best friend and even more than that…

Why couldn't I show that?

Because of the stupid wall I let build itself between us.

I pulled the picture off the wall and shoved it into my pocket.

I made up his bed sloppily and lie on top of the covers. Rolling the small stones of my bracelet between my fingers above my head, I stared up at the ceiling. I had to be better for Jacob. I owed him that much. He deserved it.

My eyes were closed and the sky was dark when I heard a light knock on Jake's bedroom door. I turned my head to see it was Jacob. I sat up quickly, slightly embarrassed at being found lying on his bed without asking. I started to get up, but Jacob protested.

"You don't have to get up. I'm sorry for leaving so fast. Quil…" he collapsed onto the bed beside me. I got on my knees and crawled over to him, flipping on his bedside lamp.

Jake had a pink cut down his neck that looked like it had just stared healing. His face and hands were filthy. His back has a set of four parallel scratches down one side. His eyes were wet and red, like he'd been crying. "Jake, what happened?"

"It wasn't his fault. He didn't realize…" he shook his head. "Sam has it under control. I'll go back in the morning."

He flipped his legs up onto the bed and lie down with his eyes closed. He let out a big gust of air and grunted. "He's gonna be a fighter. Might turn out like Paul." He shifted and moaned again. "He hits like Paul, anyway."

I didn't know what to say. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Is he okay?"

"Not yet. He will be."

He stuck his arm around beside him. I guessed that it was meant to be put around me, so I lied down next to him and snuggled against his side, careful not to bump any of his bruises.

Jake's eyes flew open and he looked down at me, amazed. He wasn't used to me readily returning affection.

"Shouldn't you be going home? It's late."

"I told Charlie I was spending the night here tonight."

I felt him tense.

"I hope that's okay," I rushed, starting to get up. "I know I didn't ask you."

He wrapped his other arm around me, pulling me back down. "No, no, it's fine. I'm just…surprised."

I shrugged. I tried to be cool about it, but it was taking a lot of effort to bring down the wall between us, no matter how badly I wanted it to come down. Taking a deep breath, I slid my arm over him and let it rest across his chest and rested my head in the dip of his shoulder.

Jake didn't move.

I looked up at him. "Is this okay?"

He nodded, eyes wide.

"Okay then." I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I focused on the heat of his body and the woodsy smell of his tanned skin. He smelled kind of like peppermint and pine trees with a hint of that typical guy smell.

Jakes breaths were kind of shallow. I wondered if he was going to have a heart attack. I blushed at the thought of the pack seeing his memories of us in his bed.

After a few minutes, we both relaxed. I felt more comfortable and safer than I had in forever. I could tell Jacob had fallen asleep when his breaths became deep and even.

"I love you, Jacob Black. I'm trying." I whispered. I prayed he knew it was true.

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REVIEW! please :)


	8. Leah

CHP 8 – LEAH

I got GREAT reviews on the last chapter! So glad you liked it! I love Quil, too :)

**I'm not sure about this chapter. It feels…funny? Like it needs some work. I think I'm having trouble with the emotional aspect of it? Lemme know if you like it or give suggestions. **

Here we go!

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**A howl sounded from the woods. Jake jerked awake.

"I have to go," he said, scrambling out of bed.

He walked out of the room and I could hear the sink running in the bathroom. A few seconds later, he came back with a wet face, beads of water running down the bridge of his nose and his neck. I was relieved to see the bruises and cuts from last night were a little more faded now.

Turning to look out the window, I saw it wasn't yet light outside. The room felt cold without his body heat next to me and I shivered. He stopped rushing around long enough to remember me. Leaning down, he scooped me up with one arm and held me up long enough to pull the covers down beneath me. He set me back down on the bed, gently, and covered me up.

"I'm sorry I'm leaving so fast. Try to go back to sleep, okay? I'll come back as fast as I can."

Still groggy from sleep, I nodded. He bent his face down as if to kiss me. I froze. Sensing that, he backed up, brushing hair back from my face with his hand instead.

"Go to sleep" he said again. Jake stood and snagged two pairs of shorts from off the messy floor. I assumed he meant to stow them away in the forest. With one last backwards glance at me, he walked swiftly down the hall and out the front door. Watching out the window, I saw him brake into a sprint towards the forest. His back muscles rippled as his arms pumped and his calf muscles flexed and relaxed in a steady, even rhythm. I stared in awe until he disappeared into the forest.

I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, but I lay back down anyway. The bed, the sheets, the comforter all smelled strongly of Jake- the mint, the trees, the musk. It was a great smell, one of my favorites, and I savored it while I rested.

Would this be the normal routine? Jake running off at the drop of a hat, leaving me wondering and lying awake thinking and worrying about him? When…_he_…had been with me, he had always been there. His only job was to be with me. He could be with me every second of every day – even at school. I was his only concern, his only _thought._

I stopped myself. That was not normal. No one's relationship was like ours had been. It was unrealistic. Unnatural. Jacob was _real_. My Jacob was _alive_. I couldn't compare Jacob to him. He had a job to do – protecting his entire tribe. And me. Of course he was going to have to leave sometimes. That was expected. _That_ was _normal_.

But even if running off into the forest at 5am was normal for Jacob, I wondered who had howled and why. Maybe Quil was having a breakdown, which would be understandable, or maybe Paul had started a fight and Sam needed backup. Or maybe Victoria-

I stopped myself again. Thinking about Victoria while I was here alone was a horrible idea. Was there not anything I could think about that didn't tear me into pieces? I started running through my homework in my head to distract myself.

Not knowing how long it would be before Jake came back, and realizing it could be hours, I opted for taking a shower. I was beginning to feel more at home in Jake's house, but it was weird using his bathroom in this, I don't know, _intimate_ type way. His bedroom and bathroom were not placed I ever ventured to on my normal visits.

Jacob's soap smelled fresh and clean. I guessed that's where the minty scent came from. It smelled weird on my skin, though. I smelt like a boy. I liked it much better on Jacob.

Wrapped up in a towel, I walked back into his room to find something to put on. I would've borrowed something from his sisters' room, but she had already moved out for college and had taken everything with her. I dug into the deepest depths of Jake's dresser drawers, careful not to open the one I'd stumbled into last night, hoping to find something from his pre-wolf days that might be closer to my size.

I chose a big, green t-shirt and some shorts that he probably hadn't been able to wear since middle school.

Perching myself on the back porch facing the forest, I waited for my wolf friend to come home.

"You _slut_!" Someone screamed.

Startled, I looked up to see Leah, barely dressed and furious, barreling towards me from the woods.

"You _whore_!" she screamed again. She had almost reached the spot where I was sitting. I stood up and took a step back. "What is your _problem_?" she screeched again.

"What?" I questioned, taken aback.

"Oh, don't act like you don't know! Look at you! You're in his _clothes!_ We all see what you guys have been doing. You don't even like him and you're sleeping in his bed?"

"It's not like that." I retorted, shaking my head.

"You come to Forks, get screwed over yourself, and then come here and bang up Jake to make yourself feel better!"

"_What?_ We didn't-"

"You're killing him! You keep leading him on! Look, Bella, we're not stupid. Jacob may be falling for all of your crap, but nobody else is. You're a _slut_!" Leah was shaking all over.

"No, I'm not!" I was hurt. "I…I love Jacob."

"You don't love him! Why do you kid yourself? You are_ incapable_ of loving him. You're just using Jacob as a rebound from your precious Edward."

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

"Yeah. I said it. Edward left you. Abandoned you. Dumped you in the friggin forest to die. He didn't want you. He still doesn't want you. He tore your heart out. Edward doesn't need you now and he never will. And now you're using Jacob as a way to pull yourself back together so you can run off and leave him for someone else."

I thought I might throw up.

"It's not like that," I choked. "I promise. I wouldn't use Jake."

"I may not like Jacob, but I'm not gonna stand here and let you tear him and our pack apart!"

"You don't know what it's like." I whispered, my eyes tearing up.

"HAH!" she barked. "I don't know what it's like? In case you haven't heard, Sam left me! Just like Edward left you! At least_ I_ had the decency not to use a friend for my own selfish restitution."

I was uncharacteristically furious. "Andyou _definitely_ haven't tried to rip Sam and Emily apart to the best of your ability. _Your_ emotions haven't torn the pack apart, right?"

She was shaking more rapidly now. I knew I was pushing it, but I didn't care. I wanted to slap her.

"You don't know a thing about the pack." Leah growled.

"Be quiet," Edward's voice rang. "Don't respond."

"Oh, shut UP!" I screamed at them both.

Leah exploded. Her tank top and shorts went flying. Her body wrenched forward, more than tripling in size, and an earth-trembling growl escaped throat. She bent her back legs, threatening to spring.

Before I could scream, Jacob's voice ripped through the air. On the right I could see Jacob sprinting through the trees in our direction in his wolf form, followed by who I presumed to be Sam and Paul. All three of them were running at high-speed. .

I tried to run – to get away from the threat of Leah and the impending fight– but my legs were cement. I could do nothing but stand still in shock, watching everything unfold.

As Leah began to spring forward, Sam and Paul slammed into Leah without ever slowing their speed. She went soaring, her wolf body flipping in the air and thudding on the ground. She let out a pained howl. But it didn't stop there. Sam sunk his teeth into her neck and yanked. Leah yelped, but managed to reach up and catch Paul across the face with her paw.

I was so enthralled, so astounded by the brawl taking place in front of me I hadn't realized Jake had morphed back into his human self and pulled on some shorts. He grabbed my hand and yanked, harder than necessary so I almost fell down, dragging me away from the fight.

"Are you alright?" he asked frantically, scanning me over for blood or injuries.

I said nothing.

"Did she hurt you?" he pressed.

Physically? "No."

Jake let out a gust of air and drew me into a massive hug. I pulled away. "I have to go home now." I said.

He looked into my eyes, confused. I kept my eyes down to the ground. "Okay," he said. "I'll drive you home."

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I didn't talk the whole way home. Jake drove my truck, glancing over at me every few seconds while I picked at a string on the sleeve of the shirt I had borrowed. I ignored his analytical gazes.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked when we arrived.

"I'm fine. You should go back."

He looked unsure, hesitating at the front door, but left.

I collapsed in a heap on my bed and curled into my protective ball. The things Leah said kept replaying in my head.

_You're incapable of loving him._

_You're using Jacob as a rebound. _

_Edward left you. Abandoned you. Dumped you in the friggin forest to die. He didn't want you. He still doesn't want you. He tore your heart out. Edward doesn't need you now and he never will._

It all hurt so much; I wasn't sure which part hurt the most. It was hard to breathe. I thought my body would rip in half. My head throbbed. How many hours had passed? I didn't know.

I do love Jacob. I do. I know I do. He's my best friend. He's great. He's funny. But what if I _am_ using him? What if I _am_ destroying him? I couldn't do that to Jake.

And to hear Leah say what I knew out loud…to confirm my thoughts of Edward… it ripped a new hole through me. _He didn't want you. He still doesn't want you._

As Leah had put it, I was _incapable_ of loving Jacob like I should.

That's what the wall between us was.

Incapability.

When Edward, left me, something in me broke. It couldn't be fixed.

I had to leave. I had to get away from Jacob before I could ruin him like Edward had ruined me. The thought of it killed me. I hoped I could do it.

I willed myself to get off the bed. I shut down my mind down completely. This was strictly business. No feeling. No thinking. Just move.

I grabbed a suitcase and started shoving clothes in it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the picture I hated of me and Jake and threw it in the trash. He'd never have to take another picture with me again.

Charlie came into my room and saw me packing. I had my back to the door, but I had heard his heavy footsteps and could feel him standing there. I never stopped packing. After a few seconds, he spoke. "Um," he cleared his throat. "Going somewhere?"

I didn't reply.

"This isn't another one of those repeats from last year, is it? You're not running off I hope."

I stayed silent.

"Bella?"

I had to keep packing. If I stopped, I wouldn't be able to finish.

"Bella, answer me." He walked further into my room. He grabbed my shoulder and held me still. "Why are you packing?"

I took a deep breath. "Dad, I'm leaving Forks."

He let go of me, sniffed and crossed his arms. "And going where?"

"To Phoenix. To Jacksonville. To anywhere."

"Bella, you can't just leave." He said firmly. "I thought you were finally starting to have fun again. You're in the middle of the school year."

I looked up at him for the first time. His face, which had been firm and authoritative, changed to worry and possibly fear. He studied my face for a few seconds. I knew the deadness must be back in my eyes hard and strong, because he took out his phone and started dialing Renee.

I looked back down at my bag. I heard him whispering into the receiver out in the hallway.

"I don't know what happened, Renee. But she looks awful again. Almost as bad as the first time."

He paused.

"No, he's not back. He never came back." I closed my eyes.

Another pause.

"She says she needs to leave. If that's what it takes…the last thing she needs is another depression. We just got her out of the last one."

Pause.

"I thought things with Jake were helping, too. I don't know what happened."

Pause.

"Can I send her tomorrow? Okay. Thanks. Bye."

He walked back into my room. "Renee said she'd pick you up at the airport in Jacksonville tomorrow."

"Thanks."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No."

He hesitated. I didn't look up at him.

"Okay. Just…let me know." He pat me on the back and walked out.

The pain in my chest was almost too much to bear. I sank down onto my knees, trying to hold myself together with my arms.

More hours passed. I couldn't move. I couldn't pack. I couldn't _breathe_.

A rock hit my window, hard. I knew it must be Jake. I didn't want him here. I didn't want to have to say goodbye.

I made no move to get up. He could get in if he really tried. I was right. He scaled the tree beside my window easily like he had a few months back. My window was unlocked and he slid the pane up far enough to crawl in. He made no noise, no sound.

Jacob appraised my room and found me on the floor. "I got worried when you didn't call," he whispered. "What are you doing on the floor?" he added as an after-thought.

I gave no response.

Sighing, he picked me up off the floor and cradled me in his arms, walking over to my bed and sitting down. "Is this all because of Leah? You know how she overreacts."

I shook my head. "It wasn't an overreaction. Everything she said was true."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "You're not a _slut_, Bella. She saw some thoughts of mine that didn't actually happen and made assumptions." He cleared his throat, then spotted my half-packed suitcase. "Are you…are you leaving?"

"I can't stay."

"And why not?" he said hotly.

"I just can't."

"Bella, you're being ridiculous."

"I am not."

Grabbing my chin, he brought his face down level to mine. "I know what you're thinking, and I'm not letting you leave over something this stupid."

"Jake, you don't know…"

"Know what? That you're worried you won't ever be able to be normal again? That you're not ready for this and you think it's killing me?" He sighed. "Sometimes you're dense."

"Thanks." I retorted. Somehow I managed sarcasm.

"I get that these things take time. All this healing stuff." He hugged me tighter. "What part of 'I'll wait' do you not understand? Forget what everyone else says. I know you're not dead inside, and I know you better than anyone else. Just… don't be stupid. We can work through these things together, you know. I know I'm only 30, and you are way more mature at 35, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid." He chuckled. "Honestly, I don't think you give me enough credit."

I managed a small smile. He looked down at me and grinned. "See? There's some of that life coming back already." He set me on my feet. "You should go tell Charlie you're staying. I'll help you unpack."

The hole in my chest still throbbed, but it was better with Jacob here. "Can you stay?" I asked quietly.

"Sure, sure." He flopped his legs up on my bed and put his hands behind his head. "As long as you promise not to be so…dramatic. We only need one drama queen in Forks, and Leah has it covered." He smiled. "You look good in my clothes, by the way. You can keep them if you want."

I nodded in appreciation and left to go tell Charlie to cancel my flight. I was unsure of whether I was making the right choice in staying, but Jake made it seem right, and that's what mattered for now.

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PLEASE review! I need your opinions on this one for real.


	9. Almost Ready

Wow, you guys have been awesome! My email is PACKED with story alerts and reviews and favorites! We reached **1,400 hits** Saturday night (only my fourth day as an author on Fanfic!) Love it!

Here's to **Team Jacob** lovin :)

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CHP 9

Charlie was wary of me the following weeks. He side-glanced at me often, let me off cooking duty, and encouraged me to hang with Jake at every possible moment.

It had become the norm for me to leave my window cracked for Jacob to come in during nights when he wasn't on patrol. I felt like Wendy, lying awake waiting for my Peter Pan, but Jake and I were much less exciting than the Never land kids. Our only adventure was falling asleep.

Though I'd decided to stay in Forks, everything Leah said resonated in my mind on a daily basis. _Edward left you. _He'd promised to stay with me forever._ Abandoned you. _He never came back for me._ Dumped you in the friggin forest to die. _Sam had to rescue me._ He didn't want you. _He doesn't want me._ He still doesn't want you. _He never will._ He tore your heart out. _And broke it._ Edward doesn't need you now and he never will._ I knew that. He never needed me like I needed him. The more I thought about it – and I thought about it a lot - I was just a tiny part, a fleeting second, of his immortal life.

Leah's words stung, sending trails of fire through my stomach, but they were true. As much as I wanted to deny them, I couldn't escape the truth.

Slowly, with Jacob's help, I began to move past the thoughts of It was my fault, _I wasn't good enough for him_ and on to thoughts of _He almost destroyed me, I need someone who won't abandon me as he did. _In the back of my mind, I knew Jacob never would, though still doubts and fears from the past hindered our relationship.

On top of everything, Mike was ever persistent.

"Hey!" he said enthusiastically, sitting down next to me at the lunch table.

"Hey," I answered, trying to return some of the eagerness and failing.

"So…" he continued awkwardly, fingering the metal lid of his soda can. "I know our last date didn't go so well…"

"Date?" I questioned.

"Oh, I mean, you know, when we went to the movies." He stammered.

I looked at him questioningly.

"Don't you remember? We went to see Face Punch. With that kid you were babysitting from La Push."

"Ah," I said, busying myself in my chemistry lab report. "I remember now." I ignored his jibe about the babysitting. Not only was obvious Jake stood a good foot above Mike, but I'd seen Mike glaring when Jake picked me up from school on my motorcycle (which he never let me drive anymore in an attempt to keep me out of the hospital). No one would glare like that if they thought I was babysitting.

"Anyway," he continued. "Maybe you'd want to go out on another date sometime? With me? Just us two?"

I paused. I'd lost my train of thought. It was hard to calculate electron numbers when someone was hounding you. "I don't know, Mike."

"Come on, Bella! It'll be fun."

"I've been really busy lately..." I started, racking my brain for a solid excuse.

"Yeah, Mike, everyone know that Bella's, like, really busy." Jessica interjected. For once I was glad for her interference. "I'd go with you, though, if Bella can't go." She flipped her hair.

Mike ignored her. "How about Friday night?" he persisted.

"I can't…" my brain was scrambled. I needed an excuse, fast. I looked down at my hands and saw the bracelet Emily gave me. "I'm going to La Push that day."

"Yeah, she's totally going to La push, Mike." Jessica exclaimed.

"Maybe some other time then," he mumbled.

"Actually, Mike…" I really didn't want to have this conversation again in the future. "I'm kind of busy _every_ day."

"Yeah, Mike, she's totally busy!" Jessica said, close to shouting. "I'm free though, like really."

I glanced over at her, baffled. She was leaning so far towards Mike that I thought she might fall out of her chair. I guess Jessica had decided to go with the forward, desperate approach. She was in full form today, that was for sure.

When she met my eyes, she continued, "I mean, don't you already have a boyfriend, Bella?"

"Kinda," I mumbled, returning to my work.

"What?" Mike questioned, "A boyfriend? Who is it? Does he go here? What's his name? Have I met him?"

"Yeah! That's so right! Bella, isn't it that guy from La Push? The tall, tan, gorgeous one that picks you up on the motorcycle. He's totally cute, right? He's so great for you! So Mike- what about…"

Again, he brushed her off. "You're dating Jacob?"

My mouth was hanging open. "Well," I faltered, trying to recover. "Well, I mean he's my best_ friend, _but..."

"But you like him," Mike mumbled, leaning back in his chair, defeated.

I shrugged.

"Oh, she totally does! I can tell. Seriously. It's obvious."

Angela, who hadn't said anything yet, chimed in. "I think it's cute, Bella. He is really nice, after all. We met him at La Push once, remember?"

I remembered.

"Yeah, but he's even cuter now, Bella. A good pick for you." Jessica agreed fervently. Was she always this loud, or was she being extra obnoxious today?

Mike looked pretty down trodden. I tried to light him up. "I'm sure you can find someone else to go with you, Mike. There are lots of girls at Forks High School."

"Yeah," he murmured, adding something incoherent at the end. Jessica seized the momentary silence to grab his full attention. She began ranting about the newest movies: which ones would be best to see and which ones would be "totally lame". Mike faced her, not entirely paying attention, and for a moment a felt bad, but I was glad he wasn't talking to me anymore.

"So you and Jake are dating now?" Angela whispered.

I shrugged again. "I don't know. I guess so. Maybe." I thought for a second. "It's a work in progress."

She nodded. "I understand."

We didn't say any more about it, and I was glad.

I was anxious to get to Jake's that afternoon. After the Leah incident, none of the wolves gave me a hard time about being with Jake. I supposed they assumed she'd said it all.

Feeling like I had a lot to say to Jake because of everything that had happened at school, I rambled on while he worked in his garage. He working busily to replace some part of his car, just basic repairs, and I loved watching him work. His hands worked quickly and without mistake. The ever prominent muscles in his arms and back flexed when he picked up something heavy. The unconscious grunts he made when he was tightening a screw or bolt made me laugh inside.

This garage was one of my favorite places to be. It was comforting, and brought back a lot of memories from a couple months back – the secret motorcycles, ordering pizzas, meeting Quil and Embry. I loved everything about it, even the oily, gasoline smell.

At first I ran through my morning – how I'd tripped and scraped up my hands in the driveway on the way out to my truck (Jake's remark had been "typical"), how Eric Yorkie had gotten sick in history and thrown up, and how Lauren's new haircut made her look like a poodle. Jake listened, commenting at the appropriate times and laughing some, too. Talking with him was so easy.

"Mike tried to ask me out on a date, too." I said.

Jake glanced up at me from under the hood of his car. "And what did you say?" he asked, sounding casual, but I noticed his wrench had stopped moving.

"I told him I was busy every day."

He picked up his work again. "Wow. Busy, busy. I hope all your plans aren't gonna cut into our hang time."

"These _are _my plans, Jake."

He chuckled. "Oh," he said cheerily. "Then I'm glad you told him off."

"Everyone assumes that we're dating, now." I tried to sound casual about it.

"Oh?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He put down his tool and stood up straight, looking at me as he picked up a towel and wiped the car grease off his hands. "Well is that okay with you? That they assume that?"

I had trouble looking up, so I just let my eyes stay on the ground "Yeah. I think so."

We were silent for a minute.

"Does that mean…are you ready?"

I didn't answer. He set the towel down on the edge of the car, and dropped his hands to his side. He started to take a step forward, but stopped.

Just as I was about to speak, Jake inclined his ear to the garage door. Howling.

He cussed. Looking at me, he hesitated, taking one step towards the door and then two steps back towards me. "Bella, I gotta go."

Yeah, I know.

He crossed the space between me and him and two steps. Gently, almost shyly, he took my face in his hands and brushed his lips lightly over my forehead.

"I'll be back," he said softly. He turned around and broke out in a hard sprint towards the trees.

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Haha. I know a lot of you will be frustrated with the end of this one. Review :)


	10. Jared

This chapter took a long time. I'm unsure about some parts of it. Lemme know what you think!

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CHP 10 – JARED

After Jake had left for patrol, I'd gone home. Thought I'd left my window unlocked when I went to bed, he never showed up. I knew it was irrational, he wasn't obligated to come over every night and keep me posted, but I started to worry. I could've sworn I heart howling in the distance.

I walked as fast as I can out down the hallway. School had been rough. I wanted to go see Jacob.

I heard some fast footsteps behind me and quickened my pace. I'd managed to avoid it all day, but if I broke out into a sprint now it would be pretty obvious I was using avoidance tactics.

"Bella!" Mike called. "BELLA!"

I sighed and kept walking. How long could I pretend I couldn't hear him?

"Hey, wait up!" he shouted as he raced for me. I pictured his backpack flying up behind him and papers scattering as he pushed people aside to reach me. "I need to ask you something. Well, I need clarification. I'm hearing conflicting stories, you know? Okay." He took a deep breath. "Are you or are you not in a relationship with Jacob Black?"

I kept up a steady, fast pace.

"Well?" he pressed, jogging to keep up with me.

I left out a puff of air as I shouldered open the double doors to the parking lot. "We're not _officially_ dating."

Mike fist pumped the air. "Alright! So I'm still in the running then."

"Sorry, I'm not interested." I huffed. I had no patience today. Why did I have to park so far away?

"You weren't interested in Jacob before, either, and yet things are leaning his way now because he was persistent. Good man! I should take a page out of his book."

I glared at him. "Mike. For the _last_ time. I'm not _interested_. Why don't you take Jessica on a date or something?"

Jessica popped up out of freaking nowhere. "Yeah? A date? I'm free!"

If I wasn't so distracted with worrying over Jacob, I would have laughed. I tossed my bag through the open truck window and climbed inside, slamming the door behind me. Mike stood next to my car, Jessica at his side.

"I still have a chance. Bye, Bella!"

I gave a sorry excuse for a goodbye by lifting my fingers up off the steering wheel in his direction. I just wasn't in the mood. Before I had even backed out of the parking space, Jessica had started on another desperate rant. I manually rolled up my window. Werewolves were so much more normal than my human friends.

Jacob's house was empty when I pulled up. I drove to Emily's, anxiety on the rise, to find it empty as well. Quil's house, not far from Jake's, was dark.

I started to panic, hard. Where was everyone? Had something happened? Had Victoria gotten to them – _all _of them? My mind went crazy with all the possibilities. I drove recklessly through the streets of La Push, stopping by First Beach to check for the pack, but I couldn't find anyone I knew. Where was Jacob?

On the side of the road, I saw a kid who looked about Jake's age. Well, I assumed he was in high school at least. I mean, he had a pack back. That's pretty much all I had to go by. Jake actually looked about twenty-five now. What would a normal sixteen year old Quileute guy look like? I didn't know. I rolled down the window and coasted to a stop next to him.

"Hey! Do you know Jacob Black?" I questioned. "Or maybe Quil Aterra?"

"Yeah, they go to my school." he responded. His voice was lower than I expected. "Why?"

What a relief. "You don't happen to know where they are by any chance, do you? I can't find them."

The boy shook his head, grimacing. "I haven't seen Jacob in a long time. He hardly ever comes to school. We were never really friends, but he's changed a lot… Anyway, none of that gang was at school this morning." He shook his head as if in disapproval. "Quil dropped out of school two weeks ago."

I frowned. "Okay, thanks anyway."

Driving a little ways until I was out of sight of Jake's old classmate, I pulled off on the side of the road. I didn't know where Jake was. Or Quil. Or any of the pack. They hadn't been to school today. Was that normal? Emily's house was never empty. That had to mean something bad.

I lay down across the front seat and pulled my knees up to my chest. I was starting to feel sick. I needed to see Jake was okay. What if Victoria…

I closed my eyes and shut out the thought. My breaths were getting shorter and my chest tighter and tighter. I tried to concentrate on something else, counting all the ones I heard pass.

A sharp rap on the passenger side door made me jump.

"Jake!" I yelped, scrambling up to unlock the door.

He let out a heavy sigh, frowning, eyes looking beyond exhaustion. His eyes were bloodshot and he had new scratches and scars across his shoulders and left arm. "I was hoping you'd go home first. I left a message with Charlie."

Oh. I felt stupid.

"Look at you. You're a mess." He shook his head, and reached across the seat to scoop me up in his arms. "How long have you been curled up on that seat?"

"Not long."

"I thought you weren't gonna be dumb anymore, Bella. You've gotta take better care of yourself."

I nodded. I felt better with his arms around me.

"Where did you go?" I spoke into his warm chest. "I was worried."

He closed his eyes. "Victoria was here."

A sharp intake of breath shot down my throat. Everything started to spin. "What happened? Did you-"

"She got away." He growled angrily. "Here," he said, setting me back down on the seat. "Give me your keys. I'll explain on the way."

"To where?" I said, handing them over.

Jacob climbed into my truck and started it expertly with one try. He didn't answer.

I sat in silence for a moment. "Did something happen?" I whispered.

"Yes."

"Is everyone okay?"

"No."

I started to panic again. Who had gotten hurt? Had someone died? Embry? Sam? Paul? And it would be my fault. Victoria was only here because of me. Automatically, my knees went up against my chest and I pulled them tighter to me. Air was coming out of my mouth in quick intervals.

Jake glanced over at me. "Stop that," he ordered.

"I. can't." I breathed. I was trying really hard to hold it together.

Sighing again, he reached over and slid his arm around me, pressing me against him. "Calm down, okay? Seriously." He looked down at me with a mix of concern and exasperation. "You've got to keep it together if you're going to run with werewolves."

I nodded and tried to slow my breathing.

Jake hummed a tuneless melody and stroked my arm comfortingly. I relaxed against him as he drove effortlessly down the winding roads.

"You fall apart pretty easily, don't you?" he murmured in a low voice.

I didn't answer.

"That's okay, you know. You'll get better, I promise." He squeezed my shoulder encouragingly. "You just hang in there, Bells."

This is why I loved Jacob.

We pulled up in front of a wooden home with dark green shutters and a tin roof. It was smaller than Emily's place, but bigger than Jake's.

"Who's house is this?" I whispered.

"Sam's," he mumbled.

Jake let himself in and I followed. The place was packed, but silent.

Sam was there, looking pale, with Emily sitting on his lap. He was rubbing her back absent mindedly, eyes fixed on the floor. He had a long gash across his rib cage that was just beginning to heal.

Paul was here, too. He was in the corner, head in his hands, rocking back and forth, not like he was about to transform, but like he was rocking himself as a comfort.

Embry was asleep on the floor next to Quil, who was on the couch, equally knocked out. Both boys had black eyes. Leah was propped up against the wall, arms folded, her head nodding every few seconds.

Sam. Paul. Embry. Quil. Leah.

I knew it had to be Jared who had gotten hurt, and I looked up at Jake. He pushed down on my shoulder a little bit, signaling for me to stay put, and walked over to Sam. They spoke in low Quileute. After a moment, Jake motioned for me to follow and walked down the hall, turning off into the only room on the right. I went after him, feeling out of place in this intimate setting, like I was intruding on something sacred or secret.

A cot stood in the far corner of the tiny room, a woman with long braids bent over it. I craned my neck to see around her. Jared rested on his back on the cot. He looked awful. His face and body were layered in a thick sheen of sweat. His right arm was in a sling and white bandaged wrapped his rib cage. Tiny vibrations rocked his body. Dark circles underlined his closed eyes. All other hints of color in his cheeks and skin had vanished.

I whispered to Jake. "Why does he look so…sick?"

"His body is reacting badly to all the breaks. We think a rib might've hit something… Victoria got him good."

"Victoria did this?" My knees started to collapse. Jacob quickly got his arm around me. "Why isn't he in the hospital?" I stammered.

"We can't take him to the hospital when his body temperature is 109F. He's supposed to be dead already."

"You have to do something," I whispered.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked bitterly. "I can't do anything."

The woman stood up and turned to us. She and Jake had a short conversation in Quileute, and the woman walked out.

"What did she say?"

"She said Jared is really sick, and is in a lot of pain. His bones should heal fast and she thinks she has them all lined up. But his temperature is burning off all the medicine. She's doing as much as she can, but she has no time estimate of when…or if…he'll get better."

I took a step closer and looked down at Jared. He looked older than Jake, but not by much. Still young. He was swollen and distorted. This was not the Jared I knew.

This was my fault.

"Everyone is blaming themselves." Jake said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "Paul is about to kill himself with guilt."

"It's not _his_ fault."

"It's _nobody's_ fault, Bella. It was a freak accident. It wasn't planned out right. But Paul blames himself because he was in trouble – he thought Victoria would be easy and was using poor strategy – and it was Jared who had to step in. That's when he got nailed. The rest of us are lucky to have gotten there in time. Paul was already hurt and couldn't do much to help Jared. All of us are pretty banged up. She got away…" he said, pained. He ripped his eyes away from where Jared slept, unconscious from pain and exhaustion. "Let's get you home." He said, grabbing my hand, taking me away from Jared and the pack and the world that consumed me but I felt was not my own.

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Reeeeeview :)


	11. Ready

Short chapter :)

Hope you like

Good stuff coming up!

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CHP 11

As we drove home, I kept to myself. I had no idea what to say; I didn't know what Jacob was thinking. Did he secretly blame me for the pack having to go after Victoria? It was my fault she was here. Did the whole pack hate me even more now?

My thoughts drifted to Jared. I'd never seen someone looking so sick. How close was Jared to dying? What would that do to the pack?

I noticed Jake flinching every few minutes. I tried to ignore it, not knowing if I should ask about it, but he noticed me subtle scrutiny.

"You know how was can hear each others' thoughts? We can feel each other's pain, too. It's muffled, I supposed," he flinched again, "but Jared's got some serious injuries. The pain is amplified when we're in wolf form. That's why no one's on patrol right now."

No one's on patrol?

"Victoria won't come back tonight. She took her fair share of beatings, too. Pretty sure her time tonight will be spent trying to stick her right hand back on." He grimaced. I shuttered.

We drove in silence until we reached my driveway.

Jake cleared his throat, but made no move to get out of the car. I hesitated, wondering if for some reason he was waiting for me to get out first. Deciding I better just leave, I slid clumsily out of the truck headed for the house. It wasn't long before I heard the driver side door of the truck open behind me.

"Wait," he called.

Jogging up the path to me, he stopped about two feet from me. Hesitating, his hands reached up to grab his hair, but fell short. "I have something to ask you."

Dumbfounded, I waited, my hands at my sides.

Jake took a deep breath and his next words were rushed and messy. "Look, Bells, I know with everything going on with Jared and Victoria that it's not really a good time. I know that. My timing is awful. But I need to know..I haven't thought of anything else but you since we were in the garage the other day and I can't believe I had to leave just as…" he stopped, thinking and restarted. "Well, what I mean is, you never really answered my question. I had to leave, so you never had the chance to tell me and I know today has been hectic, but I have to clear my mind and I can't with that unfinished conversation hanging between us."

My facial expression must have been confused, because he started rambling again, faster and more frantic than before.

"Maybe I misread the whole situation. That's possible. Wow, I'm really dumb, Bells. I promise I'm not trying to rush you. I just thought, you know, with all that you said that maybe…but maybe my hopes were just too high-"

"Jake." I said.

"-and I mean it's probably insensitive of me to even bring it back up, especially considering what your emotional state must be right now –"

"Jake, I-"

"You know what, it's fine. Seriously, Bells. Just forget this conversation never happened. When you're ready, though, if you ever are, feel free to-"

"Jacob!" I shouted, probably louder than necessary. He stopped and looked down at his hands.

"Sorry, Bells. What I meant to ask is…do you think you're ready now? For this?"

I turned my head to look at him. Thoroughly involved in studying his hands, he didn't look at my face. Though in the subtle washing of light from the front porch light his muscles stood out and the shadow under his jaw was accented, he seemed younger in his insecurity. It was innocent, free from his natural self-confidence further instilled in him by the unity and strength of the pack. At this moment, this unsure, self-conscious moment, he wasn't part of a pack. He was my Jacob. And I loved him.

"Sometimes I think so," I whispered.

His eyes found mine then. "And what do you think now?"

I thought about everything Jake and I had done together. Memories flooded my mind: building bikes, sitting in his Rabbit drinking soda, doing homework together, talking about our abnormal friends- all of which I had loved. I thought of our walks on La Push and eating undercooked spaghetti at his house. He had been there for me when no one else was. He'd pulled me out of the worst of my dark hour. He was my best friend, my sun, my personal protector. He was willing to accept the broken me – every single unstable, messed up piece. I had no secrets with Jacob.

"I want to love you." I whispered.

His eyes bore into mine. "Do you?"

More memories. Jake saving me from drowning after I jumped off the cliff. Jake driving me to the hospital after I crashed my motorcycle. The nights I'd come to love where he lay next to me in my room curing me of nightmares. I remembered his arms cradling me, almost feeling their warmth, when nothing else could soothe me. I loved Jacob. Every part of him.

"Yes."

Jacob searched my face, eyes frantic to find some hint of doubt, some hint of regret at what I'd just admitted. He could find none.

Stepping forward, he slowly, placed his wide, warm palm against the side of my head. He leaned in, keeping his eyes on mine until the last second, and brushed his lips lightly over my forehead.

"I love you, too." He said gently.

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	12. Apology

This might be my last chapter update until next week because it's Homecoming week at my high school and also my birthday this weekend :) busy, busy!

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CHP 12- APOLOGIES

Days at school went by slower the faster I wanted them to go. Sometimes it felt like the hours were barely creeping along. After the official news of Jake and I being together spread, thanks to Jessica, I got asked a lot of questions. Mike was busy sulking.

"I knew you guys would get together," Angela remarked quietly at lunch. "He's always looked at you so adoringly. It was bound to happen. I think this will be good for you."

I smiled, "Thanks, Angela."

"Bella, you're dating a total hottie." Jessica remarked. "But, like, not as hot as some guys I've dated. Like, I date hot guys too, right?"

At work, Mike worked up the courage to say something to me mid-week. "So, are you happy?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I am." I hadn't been happier in a long time.

"Don't let him treat you roughly," he said. "He's a big guy."

Werewolves? Rough? No way. "Thanks, Mike. I think I'll be fine."

He mumbled something I couldn't hear. I didn't let it bother me - I had other things to worry about.

Jared wasn't doing well, and as a result the entire pack was on edge. Having me around all the time probably wasn't helping, either. None of them had taken a particular liking to me yet. Embry and Quil were probably the nicest, but they still kept their distance. All I got was a nod or maybe a short, brief smile on a good day. Even though it hurt, I was in no position to be picky. I'd take anything over Leah's glares. Jacob said they'd all come to their senses eventually, but I hoped it would be soon.

Someone had to be with Jared at all times. Without proper hospital care, he was taking a long time to heal. Very little color had returned into his cheeks. He'd lost a lot of weight from not eating. Most of his broken bones and fractures had set right, but his ribs were bruised and it was believed that some of his organs had been bruised, too. Pain medication did little. The entire pack suffered. They were also one short on patrols, and Jake, as second to the alpha, was the primary substitute.

On Jake's only off day, he had stay with Jared at Sam's. He promised it would be fine if I tagged along, and I was in no position to pass up time with Jake. Together we lounged on the couch outside Jared's temporary room. He was snoring, hard. Jake drew pictures on my back as we sat and talked.

"How is Quil doing?" I wondered. "Has he had time to adjust?"

Jake nodded. "He's doing better than expected after the first two days were so horrible. He's relieved to be back with me and Embry – he didn't like being left in the dark."

"I wouldn't like it either," I said, remembering how much I'd hated not understanding why Jake was being so hostile towards me and why he'd shaved his hair off. I can only imagine what it had been like for Quil.

"Some kid on the side of the road told me Quil had dropped out of school."

"What?"

"I asked for directions one day. That's not the point. You're not going to drop out, too, are you? School's important, Jake."

"You don't have to lecture me," he teased. "I'm not going to drop out. Quil's always wanted to. Now he finally has an excuse. I don't blame him. It's hard to keep up with both. I'm so behind…" he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"I can help you if you need it." I offered.

"Thanks, Bells. I might take you up on that later." He paused. "How about you? Have you, um, had time to adjust?"

"Adjust?"

"Yeah," Jacob continued. "To us being together."

"Oh," I said. "I guess so."

"You guess so?" he pressed.

"Well, it just feels…natural. Easier than I thought it would be. I don't really feel like I've had to do much adjusting."

"That's good." After a few minutes of silence, the lull of Jacob's fingertips on my back putting me to sleep, I felt his hands grab my hips. In one fluid motion, he pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. "Is this okay?"

I nodded. The warmth of his body against my back and his breath blowing across my neck felt nice.

Just as always, at the most inconvenient of times, a howling from the woods sounded in the distance. Jake cussed.

"Gah, Bella, I'm sorry…"

"You have to go." I stated.

Jake looked at me with sad eyes. "I'll be back." He slid me off his lap in a graceful fashion and stood up. "Can you stay here with Jared?"

"Jake, I don't know…" I crossed my arms uncomfortably.

"I can't just leave him alone," Jake said. "I won't be gone long, I promise. I just have to see what Sam wants." Another howl resonated in the distance. "Please?"

I rocked back on my heels in discomfort. "As long as you hurry back…"

"I will. I promise." He kicked off his shoes and socks. Next, in one quick, smooth motion, his shirt was on the coffee table. A second later, he'd slid his belt off and rolled it up into a neat coil.

"You're good at that," I mumbled, distracted by the mass of tan muscle now standing in front of me. Why couldn't I have a body like that?

He chuckled. "I'll be back. Don't worry- Jared probably won't even wake up. He's always slept like a rock."

Before walking out, he pecked me softly on the cheek. It was cute, and simple, and perfect.

I sat down on the couch, reaching out to fold up Jake's discarded shirt. I rolled up the socks and shoved them down into his tennis shoes. I wished I had brought some homework.

A fit of coughing interrupted my thoughts. Tentatively, I listened for sounds of movement. I hoped it was just a fluke and Jared was still asleep.

The coughing continued and was followed by cursing. So much for sleeping like a rock…

I walked slowly down the hall and peaked through the door. His coughs continued- his body was rocking with every harsh burst of air. The arm not wrapped in a sling clenched at his ribs. His eyes were shut in pain as he panted.

I tapped my knuckles against the wooden doorframe. "Um, hey…" I said awkwardly. His chest and shoulders were uncovered and his bottom half was covered only by a thin white sheet. I blushed and hoped he was wearing something underneath. I'd be surprised, though, if he actualy was - werewolves couldnt give in to qualms over nudity.

He turned his head towards me and he sighed in relief. "Gah, Bella, for once I'm glad to see you."

"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically. "Do you need anything?"

After a short fit of coughs and moans, he answered "Water would be nice."

I fetched some water and brought it to him, sitting in the small wooden chair by his cot until he finished. Licking his lips and handing the empty glass back to me, he spoke. "So Jake left you here to take care of me? That's a fun job."

"He was here, too. Sam called him into the woods."

"Yeah, I heard that. That's what woke me up initially. They're gonna have to learn to keep it down." He tried to laugh to himself, but it obviously caused him pain, because he clutched at his side again and his face turned a shade lighter.

"What time is it?" he moaned.

"Around three," I said.

"Oh, good." He said. "Do me a favor. There's a first-aid box over there. Can you grab it? Now open it up and take out one of the smaller bags in there and the clear bottle."

I did as he said, wondering what he expected me to do.

"Okay. I need you to open the bag and assemble the syringe and fill it with morphine."

I stopped, dropping the supplies down into the box. "I'm not shooting you up with morphine, Jared."

"Well, I can't do it myself."

I looked at him in disbelief. "Are you even allowed to do that?"

"Yes, _Mrs. Swan_," he rolled his eyes. "The reservation doctor left it for me."

I gave him a skeptical look. "I still can't give you this, Jared."

"Just do it, Bella, I'd do it myself but my other arms in a sling. It'll only take a sec-"

"No, Jared, I mean I _can't_. I'll faint."

He gave me a blank look. "No, seriously, Bella," he shifted and groaned.

"I am being serious," I muttered.

"You're scared of blood and you dated a vampire?" he grunted incredulously. I looked at the ground. "Bella. I don't know when the next person if gonna be on shift to watch me. My ribs are killing me. I can't go without pain medicine for another 12 hours. I'll go ballistic!"

"Jared-"

"GAH, Bella, just jam the effing needle in my arm and be done with it!"

I gaped at Jared with wide eyes. This was insane. I didn't even have gloves. My hands fumbled as I put the needle together – only knowing how by having been to the emergency room a hundred times. My fingers shook as a filled the syringe full of the liquid morphine. Not only was I going to faint, but I was sure this had to be illegal.

"Good," Jared breathed heavily. He stretched out his arm. "Now put it right in the bend of my arm."

I kneeled down next to his bed, eyes intent on the bend of his arm. I closed my eyes.

"Open your eyes!" he shouted. "Hate to break it to you but you kind of have to see what you're doing."

"I can't believe I'm doing this." I mumbled. I thought I might throw up.

"Don't make it complicated." He grunted again, beads of sweat popping up on his forehead and bridge of his nose. "One shot."

I brought the needle closer to his arm, holding my breath, unblinking, trying not to think of what I was about to do.

"Hurry it up, please, if you don't mind."

I tilted the syringe until the tip of the needle touched the tan skin of his arm. The clear liquid inside sparkled dauntingly. I sucked in a deep breath, and jabbed the syringe into his arm.

He screamed, loudly, and grit his teeth.

I hadn't fainted, yet, but somehow I was on the floor. I had definitely closed my eyes. And I had definitely, definitely missed.

"You _missed_! How could you miss? Did you close your _eyes_? You freaking stabbed me!"

I mumbled some embarrassed apologies and picked the needle up off the floor. A single bead of blood had formed near the bend of Jared's arm. I held my breath and tried not to look at it.

Jared was breathing hard. "Leave it to Jacob to leave someone incapable of administering pain medicine in charge of watching me."

"I definitely did NOT sign up to be your nurse for the night." I snapped in my own defense.

"Give it a rest," another voice spoke. Leah strutted in and scoffed at the sad scene: me on my butt on the floor and Jared bleeding, sweating and frustrated, on his bed.

Without further dialogue, she snatched the needle from my hands. She skillfully cleaned it and re-filled it in a matter of seconds. Straightening out Jared's arm, she slid the needle in, pushing the fluid into him smoothly, and withdrew the needle in one shot. While she was wiping down Jared's arm and wrapping up the medical supplies to throw away, she answered our inquisitive stares.

"Sam sent me to check on things." She said, talking only to Jared. "Lucky for you."

"You got that right. Bella here is a freak when it comes to blood."

"Not surprised." She mumbled.

"'I'm starting to feel better already," he said. "Good thing, too, I was about to crack from pain-"

"When are you gonna man up and stop having to take medicine every other breath?" Leah asked.

"Oh, shove it, Leah. I don't see you with any broken ribs," he retorted.

"Yeah, cause I'm a better fighter than you. I wouldn't let any bloodsucker get me like that." She sneered.

"Maybe that's because you're always in the back of the fight where you belong."

She opened her mouth as if to respond, eyes full of resentment, but instead turned to me. "Get off your butt, I want to talk to you. Privately." She stalked out of the room, waited for me to pass her out into the hall, and threw a look back at Jared. "Go to sleep," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," Jared replied sarcastically.

She shut the door behind herself and turned to face me, crossing her arms. "I guess I owe you an apology."

Taken aback, my only semi-intelligible response was, "Huh?"

"I'm saying sorry. For almost tearing your face off the other day."

"Oh," I responded. In the three seconds of warning I had had for this, I'd prepared for the worst. This was much better than expected. "It's okay."

"You should tell Jacob to tone down his thoughts." She said. "It gives people the wrong impression."

"Um," I had no idea what she was talking about. "Okay."

"So we're cool, then. As long as you don't do anything stupid. And you have to toughen up if you're going to be hanging around a lot." He gestured towards Jared's room and grimaced. "That was sad."

I blushed. "Yeah. Right."

"Okay. Well, bye." She said.

Barefoot, scantily clad Leah darted off back into the forest, her chopped off black hair glinting in the rare sunlight. I wished I had tangible evidence that all of this actually happened. Today had been beyond bizarre. Welcome to the world of werewolves, I thought to myself.

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	13. Thoughts

**I got stuck on this update for** **DAYS.** It was a major struggle. I'm insane busy and insane TIRED. Been working really hard to get this to you guys. I know it's super short. Hope you like it anyway.

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CHP 13- THOUGHTS

We had only been together "officially" for 2 weeks, but it felt like forever. It felt natural. Nothing had changed, really – we still spent all our time together and still acted the same. In essence, we were still friends.

Jake and I were in Quil's basement. Quil was running patrol and Jake had asked to borrow his weight set. Not that Jake needed to bulk up – he was already enormous. The problem was that Jake had so much stagnant energy to burn up when he wasn't sprinting 100mph through the forest. He had to do something to get rid of it.

I brought my homework with me and hoped to put a dent in it. I had a pretty sizeable chunk of_ A Thousand Splendid Suns _to analyze, but I couldn't focus. The clanging of metal weights was a distraction; not to mention the shirtless, sweaty, muscular Jake laid out on a bench press in front of me. Hoping he wouldn't notice my gaze, I watched as he brought the heavy metal bar down close to his chest and his arm muscles strained when he lifted it back up. His body rippled with every movement. I'd never seen anything like it before. Never seen anything so…beautiful.

Jake's body, everything about him, was tangible. Attainable. _Real_. He was warm. He was flesh. What I had previously conceived of as beauty – hard, cold, and inaccessible – could not compare to this. This was real. If I wanted to, I could reach out and touch him and feel evidence that he was alive: a heartbeat, a pulsing vein, a stretching tendon. All those were signs of the life pulsating through him. And to think I would've given mine up…for vain, bitter, unmoving, inhuman beauty.

A smooth rock was pretty. Marble and stone, with its glittering, alluring qualities, could be beautiful. But it was a different kind of beauty. They didn't possess the beauty that was life itself. It's like comparing a nice boulder to a galloping horse.

As I observed him- his perfect, human body- I wondered why I hadn't seen him like this before. Blinded by the unattainable, I supposed. What other beauty had a missed while I was enthralled in the unreal?

Jake looked over at me and smiled, lifting the weight one final time and setting it back in its place. "Are you gonna do your homework or just watch me the whole time?"

I blushed, returning my gaze to my book. He laughed.

"It's okay, I'm done anyway." He said.

Trying to get over my embarrassment, I started a conversation about Leah. Though I supposed he already knew, I told him about her apology and how she'd said some things I didn't quite understand.

"She said I should tell you to tone down your thoughts. And that she'd got the wrong impression from them." I said casually.

Jake's face flushed with color. I'd never seen him blush before, ever. He picked up the hand towel that had been tossed over the bar of the bench and wiped the sweat off his face.

"Do you know what she's talking about?" I pressed.

"I have a guess..." he mumbled.

Obviously he wasn't going to elaborate without my persistence. "Well?"

"It's easy to make assumptions." He said simply. That didn't help at all. I waited.

Maybe being blunt is the better approach here. "What were you thinking that made her so angry?"

He cleared his throat and busied himself with moving some weights around in the corner, shifting them and lining them up in a perfect row.

"Jake. I'm talking to you."

"I just kind of exaggerated what happened that night. Showed things as going further than they actually did." He mumbled, not looking up. "I mean, it wasn't entirely intentional…"

"Oh." I said. Jake had pictured us doing _that_? For the entire pack to see? Quil and Embry and Sam, _all_ of them? I groaned internally, cursing his raging wolf hormones. Or maybe just regular boy hormones. Possibly a mix of both.

"Naturally Leah stormed off to tell you what for. I didn't have time to explain. I mean…I guess if what I'd imagined actually happened, she almost might be justified…"

"Okay," I said. My nose was practically pressed against the pages of my book now. Could my face be any more red?

After a few seconds of silence, he was standing next to my chair, rocking back on his heels. I looked up to see his apologetic face half-smiling down at me. "Sorry, Bella…" he said repentantly. "It won't happen again. Having six other people sifting through your thoughts is no perk, believe me." He finished bitterly.

I remembered how thankful I'd been that Edward could never read mine.

"I should probably get back to Charlie. Dinner won't cook itself and he's already had pizza twice this week." I started to pack up my books.

"I hope you're not mad..." he said. "I promise I'm not a perv."

"I know, Jake. I'm not mad," I assured him. Embarrassed, maybe, but not mad.

Jake looked like he was about to say something, but stopped, helping me to gather my belongings instead. "I'll drive you home."


	14. Kiss

_Just a friendly reminder that this is **not **my occupation (though I wish it was) :) I'm updating as much as I can with as much content as I can while also keeping up with the trials of being a full-time student!_

On to the much anticipated :) !

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CHP 14- KISS

Over the next few days I tried my best to forget my embarrassment over Jake's apparent daydream and what all the pack may or may not have seen in his thoughts. These were the kinds of things I'd have to get used to if I wanted to run with the werewolves.

Jake had been oddly quiet the last few days. At first I figured it was because he was embarrassed over the whole incident too, but I thought he would've gotten over it a lot faster than the few days it had been. Jake always bounced back. Besides, I'm sure the pack had seen a lot worse than what Jake had thought up. Quil and Jared weren't the most clean-minded of people. I tried to comfort myself with that.

Jacob and I were spending yet another afternoon at Sam's to watch over Jared. He was slowly improving with only minor setbacks. The greater part of the color had returned to his face and he felt well enough to make jokes and poke fun at whoever was watching over him. Luckily, Jared still spent the majority of his time catching up on sleep. Jake and I were, for the most part, left alone.

"You've been acting kind of funny lately," I said nonchalantly. "Are you okay?"

Jake shrugged. "Yeah," he replied, "I'm fine."

"Okay," I said.

I let the stillness sit for a little bit. Like Charlie, I never felt the need to fill up empty silences. I was perfectly at ease sitting here without conversation. Jake, however, was not. Today it played to my advantage.

"Actually, Bells, there's something I want to talk to you about."

I turned to look at him, waiting for him to continue, but he seemed as thought he was having trouble getting his words out. I wasn't used to seeing Jake struggle for something to say. It made me uneasy. I hoped everything was okay. A steady panic started to creep up. I tried to calm my nerves down before I assumed the worst.

"We've been going out for a few weeks now," he started. I nodded in encouragement.

He swallowed before continuing. "I've been kind of…hesitant, I guess, in holding your hand and things like that…and I know we haven't kissed, either." I looked down at the floor. "I didn't want to push things. I knew I was just lucky for you to be mine after everything you've been through. And I'm not trying to rush you now by bringing it up. I understand if you're still not ready. I just wanted to…not ask really, but, I don't know…let you know why, I mean, in case you were wondering…"

I'd always loved the way Jacob treated me like a person instead of a breakable object like some of the kids at school after my depression. Everyone, even Charlie, tiptoed around me, acting like I'd shatter and fall to pieces if they so much as looked at me. Though I might've felt like that was the case at times, I wished that they would have given me more credit than that. Jacob had always treated me like a person and a friend...even through the times when I felt like a figment of someone's imagination. He cared and noted things that upset me in order to avoid them (like music or mention of the… _Cullens_), but I'd always been real to him - never a ghost or an avalanche waiting to happen.

One thing I'd worried about was that Jacob would want to move too fast. Before we were together, he'd held my hand and everything like I was already his. Part of me thought that officially being with him would give him the feeling of free reign. But he'd proven me wrong, though, and I'd deeply appreciated his concern and patience in the past few weeks.

I shifted on the couch to face him more easily. His eyes were on the floor and his knee was bouncing with nerves.

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, his knee never slowing, his eyes darting back to the wooden floor, "Would you…I mean, would you mind? You know. If we…"

Our eyes locked. His knee stilled. Neither of us so much as breathed. I could see the hesitation in his eyes, the uncertainty. I didn't know what he would see in mine. Indecision? Insecurity? The underlying desire that I could feel if I tried hard enough? He moved forward a fraction of an inch. Had I not been hypersensitive to every part of him at this moment, I wouldn't have noticed it. My head moved in response, less even than he had moved- if that was possible. Jacob took this as consent.

Never taking his eyes off of mine, he leaned forward, slowly and deliberately, until his warn lips brushed across mine. Instinctively, I leaned towards him in response until there was pressure between our lips. I heard his intake of breath, felt it as the air rushed over my lips, and relished in the heat of his hand on my neck. His lips moved slowly, innocently, lovingly over mine. His warmth radiated over me. I felt no wall between us – for once, nothing holding me back. I felt without pain and responded without guilt, pulling myself closer to him and memorizing the feel of his mouth on mine. I'd never been kissed – really kissed – before. Though innocent, it was unreserved and real as everything about Jacob was.

"Hey!" Jared called from the other room. "Hellooo, whoever's on call – my ribs are throbbing."

Jacob's lips separated from mine with obvious reluctance. I could tell from his eyes that he was beaming. My Jacob. He pressed his forehead against mine, placing one last light kiss on my cheek, before getting up to attend to Jared.

Heart still thumping, I listened in on their loud conversation.

"What are you guys doing out there? You're looking awfully excited." Jared teased. _Thud._ "Ouch, man! Watch the ribs!"

I smiled. Jake came back out a few minutes later. "I gave him his morphine. He should be out again soon."

Jared was obviously listening. "Just because I'm going back to sleep doesn't mean you guys can-"

"Shut up, Jared!" Jake called back. I could tell he was trying to be mad, but he was still grinning. Looking back at me, he said, "Paul should be here in 5 minutes for his shift. Jared will be fine for a few seconds if you want to go ahead and leave."

"You better hope I don't die if you're leaving me here alone!" Jared called from his room again.

"You'll be fine." Jared mumbled, knowing Jared's wolf hears would pick it up. I wondered what else Jared had picked up from our private conversation…

The blood and heat of blush rushed into my cheeks. "Yeah," I said, now eager to leave. "Let's go."


	15. Such Drama Queens

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CHP 15 – SUCH DRAMA QUEENS

The world of the werewolves absolutely consumed me. There were some parts I could do without – the late nights waiting for Jake and the constant threat of Victoria – but at its very core I loved every part of it. I loved the brotherhood or the pact and the tribe loyalty involved. Not being a flashy person by any means, I loved the simplicity and earthiness. He laughed when I mentioned it, but the more time Jake spent in the woods, the more he got to smelling like the trees. That distinct piney, musky smell I grew to love.

A lot of my time was spent at Emily's house. With a house constantly flooded with ravenous wolves, she needed all the help she could get in the kitchen. She taught me how to make a traditional Quileute salmon dish and in return I fixed up a huge dish of lasagna. Charlie came over and ate with everyone sometimes either at Emily's or Billy's. At first I could tell he was uncomfortable with the frenzied, shirtless boys, but he was relieved I had found happiness here and encouraged me to spend as much time in La Push as I wanted – whether he elected to stay behind or not.

One job I'd elected to take on myself was watching over Jared. Whatever food was left from Emily's I brought over for him to eat. I felt more comfortable now that I'd done it with Jacob a few times, and Jared was well enough so that he didn't have to take morphine every shift. When I watched him, I prayed he wouldn't need me to administer any kind of treatment.

There were a lot of perks to watching Jared. Firstly, it freed up all the other wolves to be on patrol. More wolves on patrol meant less danger from Victoria. Secondly, I was closer to Jacob and felt safer in La Push than I did in my own house around Charlie. Lastly, though I wouldn't have admitted it out loud, I wanted Jake's wolf family to like me. They had all made a conscious effort to be more cordial towards me, but I think most of that was in response to death threats from Jake. I wanted them to like me on their own accord. I tried helping with cooking, but that really was Emily's expertise. A lot of the times I just ended up spilling something or knocking things on the ground. Sitting on a couch and doing my homework while Jared slept I could do with little or no damage to myself or my surroundings. That was always a plus.

"So you and Jake are getting pretty serious, then?" Jared probed as I brought him a cup of ice.

"I guess so," I replied timidly.

"You have the hotts for him. I can tell." He mocked.

"What?" I asked, clumsily backing in to the nightstand table next to his cot.

He chuckled. "Don't worry. I don't blame you. I mean, us werewolves _are_ pretty sexy. Once I get out of this bed, it's time to hit the ladies."

I rolled my eyes, setting an overturned, empty cup upright. "I'm sure you'll have time for that."

He laughed again. "I'm kidding, Bella. I'm not that conceited. I leave all that nonsense to Paul."

"Why don't you go back to sleep?" I held out my hand for his empty ice cup.

"You know, Swan, you're not as bad as I thought," he mused. "I wouldn't mind you sticking around."

"Thanks, Jared." I replied, making strides towards the door.

"Too bad he hasn't imprinted on you yet." He mumbled, more to himself than to me.

Imprinted? Must be a pack thing. I hoped it didn't involve more wolf hormones. "Goodnight, Jared."

"See ya," he said as I closed the door behind myself.

I dozed on the couch, drifting in and out of reading _Pride and Prejudice_ for the fourth time. My eyes skipped over lines as their familiar banter played over and over in my head. Every few paragraphs were separated by unconnected dreams as a slipped in and out of the conscious world.

A pained howl sounded in the forest that jerked me awake. It woke Jared up, too, and he let out a stream of elaborate curse words.

"Bella!" he yelled as I simultaneously burst through his door.

"What's going on? Who is it?" My stomach felt like it was in my throat. Howls were never a good sign. I wish I could distinguish which howl went with which brother.

"It's Quil. He's in pain." Jared sucked in air through his teeth and grabbed his nose. "Ouch."

The howl sounded again, but in the middle of the cry the sound morphed from the resonant sound of a wolf's howl to the pained sound of an adolescent male. Other sounds followed, like the sound of arguing and an older man's voice telling everyone to shut up.

I leapt over Jared's cot to peer out the window. I couldn't see them, but I knew the pack was home.

"You deserved it, Quil! That's exactly what you get for being sick!" Leah's cynical voice sneered.

"How is this _my_ fault?" Quil's muffled voice said. "I'm the one with the broken nose!"

"You're gonna end up with something else broken if you don't be quiet." Sam replied threateningly. "Embry, take him inside and clean it up. See if you can set it, if you can."

I turned around to see three new guys in the room: Jacob, Embry and Quil. Only two of them were dressed. I quickly dropped my eyes to the floor. I could've sworn my cheeks were on fire.

Quil cussed. "Can this day get any worse? I mean really, Jake, how about warning me next time your girlfriend is here." Quil complained, holding his nose while blood dripped down his arm. The smell reached my nose and the room quivered at my feet.

Jake fumbled around awkwardly. "Um, hey, Bells! Let's take a walk!" He crossed the room, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out in record time. I was thankful I hadn't had to look up or think to move my own feet.

Once we were out in the yard, he let go of my hand. It was only then that I noticed it was covered in blood. I didn't look down at my own in case he'd gotten it on me. "Sorry," he said, wiping his hand on his sweats. "I forgot you stayed to watch Jared. We aren't used to having to dress to go to Sam's… I mean usually it's just Leah and she's kind of a guy anyway…we forget about her…"

I mumbled something unintelligible. _I_ didn't even know what I was saying. I tried taking deep breaths to clear my nose of that sickening salty, rust smell.

He cleared his throat again. "Sorry you had to see that. Here, lemme get you something to wash your hands off with… I know how you are about blood…"

We walked over to the back of the house. Jake turned on the hose for me. I let the water run over my hands until I knew all traces of blood were long gone. Though I felt weak, I was proud of myself for not fainting.

"What happened?" I asked, when both of us were cleaned up. I could still hear arguing from inside Sam's house.

"I punched Quil in the face." Jake answered bluntly.

I stopped walking and turned to him. "What? Jake-"

"Like Leah said, he deserved it," Jake answered nonchalantly.

My mouth fell open. I was dumbfounded. "You punched Quil in the face? He's your best friend! What did he _do_?"

"Quil pictures you naked on a fairly regular basis."

I didn't think my mouth could open any wider. "What?"

"I told you he deserved it. Trust me. I was justified."

I was speechless. Utterly speechless. Not to mention slightly disgusted.

"It's just a broken nose," he assured my flabbergasted state. "It's on the mend already, I guarantee it."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Bella, trust me, this is not the first broken nose we've had and it won't be the last. I bet I get my own broken before it's all said and done. I'm pretty sure Paul's been broken four times at least. Us wolves are tough. It's like the equivalent of a nosebleed. Seriously."

I continued to shake my head, closing my eyes. "Whatever you say, Jake."

"He deserved it," he repeated confidently.

Back inside Sam's house, Quil had found some clothes and was holding a bloody towel to his face. Embry had done a pretty good job of setting his nose back in place. Much better than expected, anyway. Paul told me he'd look normal by tomorrow night.

Despite his broken nose, Quil hadn't learned his lesson. Somehow, even with a face full of bloody towel, he was still running his mouth.

"I don't see how what I did warranted this," he complained. "I mean, it's not like no one else has."

He obviously didn't know I knew what he'd done. I was beyond embarrassed and on into the humiliated range. But I kept my mouth shut. Jake, though, was getting more and more tense with every word coming out of Quil's mouth.

"Especially you, Jake." He continued. Jake's hand tightened into a fist beside his leg. "Explicit details and all, right? But I'm the only one that gets faulted. Not sure how _that's_ fair!" He laughed to himself.

Jake's fingers were shaking ever so slightly.

"You are a lucky one though, man, you don't have to share that with anybody! Oh yeah, except for all of us since we get to see everything you ever do with-"

Jake flew off the couch at an inhuman speed. Still in his human form, but shaking and rocking at the frame, his fist halted centimeters from Quil's face. The only thing standing in between Jake's iron knuckles and Quil's vulnerable face was Paul's hand. Luckily, he'd been quick enough to intervene before a whole second fight could break out.

"Cool it," he ordered. He wasn't the Alpha, but his order sounded good enough as is. Jake's shoulders relaxed and he stood up straight, shrugging and taking a deliberately deep breath.

"You better not be this obnoxious tomorrow," he muttered turning.

"We'll see," Quil responded resentfully.

Jake took my hand and pulled me gently off the couch, slipping his arm around my waist and leading me outside.

"You wanna stay at your place tonight?" I nodded. I loved the pack more and more each day, but they could be serious drama queens. "Good." He said, smiling slightly. "I need a break."

Charlie, Jake and I ate dinner together – chicken with brown rice and cornbread. In addition to that, Jake ate a bunch of leftovers from the fridge and some snacks from the pantry.

"Where do you put all of that food, Jacob?" Charlie mused.

"When you're as tall as I am, hunger is a never ending thing." Jacob laughed, taking a sizeable bite out of his third apple. More like when you burn 10,000 calories every time your body shifts into a wolf, you need to eat enough food for at least five grown men at every meal sitting, and maybe some snacks in between.

"I don't see how you got to be so tall. Billy is nowhere near your height."

Jacob shrugged casually. "Guess it's somewhere in my genes." He winked at me.

After Jacob had finished eating, we moved to the den. Charlie reclined in his chair and watched baseball while I read and Jacob dozed. It was a nice, quiet evening. With all the chaos of the pack, these simple, human moments were a rarity. I cherished them.

Around eleven, Charlie got up and stretched. "You ought to head home, Jacob. Billy might be wondering where you are."

Jacob stood too. "You're probably right. Thanks for letting me hang here, Charlie. I'll pay you pack for all the food."

Charlie waved him off. "That's not necessary, kid. Come by anytime you like – you're always welcome."

"Thanks."

"I'll walk you out," I offered.

We held hands as we walked out onto the porch while Charlie waited in the kitchen for me to come back inside and say goodnight.

I was sad Jacob was going home. I wished I could go with him. I dreaded the sleepless night ahead. Reaching out, I hugged him around the middle. "I guess I'll see you in the morning," I said, a slight hint of sadness in my voice.

He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "You don't really think I'm going home, do you?"

I let out a big sigh. "I guess not. You'll be careful, wont you? I stress out when I know you're running night patrol."

He chuckled. "I mean I'm not really _leaving_."

I pulled my face away from his chest to look up at him. "So you're running patrol around here tonight?" That made me feel a little better; he wouldn't be darting off to Canada, at least.

"I don't have patrol tonight." He said. "What I mean is I was actually planning on staying _here_. Tonight. With you. If you don't mind…"

"Oh," I responded.

"I'll come back in a few minutes. After Charlie is asleep." He was silent for a second. "If that's okay with you."

Why did I feel nervous all of a sudden? "Yeah. That sounds great, Jake."

He smiled in the porch light's orange glow. "Okay then. See you soon, Bells." He gave me one tight squeeze and a kiss on the forehead before jogging off in to the shadows. I stepped back into the house and closed the door behind me. Should I lock the door?

"I'm glad you and Jake are together," commented Charlie as he made his way up the stairs. "I've always liked him."

"I'm glad you approve," I replied awkwardly. I wondered how much Charlie would like it if he knew Jake was still spending the night. He hadn't been too keen on it the last time. Not that we'd ever done anything but sleep. It just had bad connotations. What dad would respond lightly to "there was a guy sleeping in my bed last night"? Especially a dad with a gun holster.

"Goodnight," he called down from the top step. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, dad," I replied.

I knew it would take Charlie a little while to get into bed and go to sleep. I walked into the kitchen, needing something to busy myself with, to pass the time. I scrubbed and rescrubbed the dishes in the sink and wiped down the table until it was completely sterile.

I knew I was cleaning out of nerves. Why was I so anxious? Jake had spent the night before.

But it had always been just as friends. He hadn't slept over since we'd gotten together. Now I felt awkward about it. Would he expect something different? Would he want to move on to something I wasn't ready for? I cringed.

I could still hear Charlie walking around his room. Quickly, nerves causing me to move faster and clumsier than normal, I ran upstairs and took a shower. Combing out my wet hair, I pulled on a t-shirt and one of my cuter pairs of pajama pants. I started to second guess my appearance, debated blow drying my hair, but in the end opted for my usual look and went to my room.

Typing out a quick email to Renee, I talked about the weather in La Push, my school classes for the semester and the new Native dishes I'd attempted to cook. By now my mom knew all the names of the pack boys and others from the reservation, too. I mentioned Jacob and told her he was doing fine, though I'd never mentioned we were officially together. I didn't want her to worry.

My stomach was starting to knot up, and I tried to relax myself by pulling out _Pride and Prejudice_. What was the big deal? Jacob was Jacob. I shouldn't be nervous about him coming over. I was being irrational.

Still, Mr. Darcy failed to hold my attention. Pathetically, I put the book down and settled on pacing instead.

The knock on my window made my stomach fly up into my throat and the nervous feeling steadily progressed as Jacob let himself in, sliding gracefully through the window and landing on the floor without a sound. The dark grey shirt he'd been wearing earlier, I'd assumed for Charlie's sake, had been discarded. Understatement of the century: Jacob really was attractive.

He smirked at me when he saw what I guessed must've been a stunned face. "Hi."

"Hi." Why was I cursed with such awkwardness?

Jake rocked back on his heels. "Well, don't act so shocked to see me! I said I was coming back, didn't I?"

I nodded.

Jake's face turned serious. "This is still okay, right? I can leave if you want-"

"No, no," I objected. I was being stupid. "I'm glad you're here."

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "Alright."

Silence.

"Are you ready for bed, then?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. Wow. _Yeah?_ That's all I've got? Embarrassed and flustered, I turned around to dump the excess pillows off onto the floor. My tiny bed needed all the extra room it could get since Jake was so big.

While I moved the pillows needlessly around on the floor, two warm hands grabbed my arms and stroked down to my wrists. He leaned into my back and brushed his lips lightly across my neck. "You look pretty," he said huskily.

I blushed but bravely turned to face him. "Thanks."

"Mhmm," he responded, pulling me into a hug and burying his face in my hair. After a few moments of our sweet embrace, he whispered in my ear. "Would it be okay for me to kiss you again?" he asked sincerely.

"Sure," I whispered back, dazed, thoughts scrambled by his heat and scent.

As slowly as before, he brought his lips down to mine and gently pressed against me. His hands stayed at my waist and his lips were hesitant and tender. My nerves melted instantly. All my previous doubts and qualms about tonight vanished. It was going to be perfect. This was Jacob. _My_ Jacob. How could it not be?

We kissed for a while, always gentle and slow. Jake's hands never moved and he was the first to pull away. "Is this okay?" he asked again, making sure. "Am I going too fast?"

I shook my head. He smiled and kissed my forehead and then my cheek. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

He moved around me to the bed and lay down, pulling me down next to him. Briefly, he wrapped an arm around me, leaned over and covered my mouth with his, but the kiss lasted only a second. Jacob then scooted himself over to the far side of the bed, making sure there was no further contact between us. It might've seemed odd to some, but I deeply appreciated the display of self-control and respect for what I could handle. I was ashamed to have thought he would've treated tonight any differently.

Jake curled him arm up underneath his head as a pillow and shut his eyes. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Jacob."

I was utterly content.

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	16. Fresh

7,000+ hits!

I'd hoped to have this up by 9:30, but I got a little carried away and now it's midnight. Sorry :)

Just for the record…my life dream is to meet Taylor Lautner…so…if any of you guys have connections, hook me up ;)

**RUH-VIEW**

* * *

CHP 16- FRESH

"Bella," Jake whispered.

I kept my eyes closed and felt him climb around me off the bed. Fork's rare sunlight made its way through the window panes and turned my inner eyelids a pale orange.

"Bella," he whispered again, a little louder this time. "Wake up."

Groggily I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He smiled and touched my face with his overheated hand. "Hey," he said.

"Mmm," I responded. Too early for talking.

"I'm gonna run out real quick and check on things, but I'll be back, okay?"

I nodded and shut my eyes again. Suddenly, the sound of splintering wood and simultaneous cursing made me jump. Sitting up faster than I would've thought possible, I surveyed the room. It took me no time at all to locate the source of the crash: Jake was standing in the middle of my room with his calf 6 inches deep into the floor. My mouth fell open.

He cursed again and struggled to pull his leg out, small shards of wood sticking out of his leg at odd angles. I cringed, looking away in case there was blood. I grabbed a box of tissues and threw it blindly to him, knowing he would catch it.

"What the heck is wrong with your floor?" he accused.

"My _floor_," I whispered back in exasperation, "is not the problem! Your massive leg busted through it!"

He plucked out all the wooden debris in rapid speed. The minor cuts and scratches were already healing.

"I don't know how we're going to fix this…" He muttered, more to himself than to me. Jake crouched down to assess the damage, picking up pieces of wood and laying them beside the foot-shaped hole in my bed room floor. He paused, "What's all this crap you've got stashed in here? Is this some sort of undisclosed hiding place?"

"What?" I asked, confused, sliding off the bed to investigate.

Careful to avoid the ragged edges of the hole, he reached his arm down and rummaged for a few seconds, pausing before pulling something out that made my heart jump into my throat. It was a CD. A plain, silver CD with my name written across the front in perfect, slanted calligraphy.

I collapsed to my knees just like I had when I realized it had gone missing. Mindlessly, with needless aggression, I snatched the CD from Jake's hands and tried to push him away. Scraping my own arms as I greedily dove back into the small hole in the floor. Two tickets to Jacksonville. The dress Alice had given me, still stained with blood from the cuts on my arm. Rosalie's necklace to me. The picture of Edward and I he'd ripped out of my photo album. Lost treasures. Gone. Found. _Here._ Right in my room. Mere memories made tangible again. Hugging everything close to me, everything I thought I'd lost forever, it took me a second to realize I was crying.

Almost ashamed, I looked up at Jacob. His eyes were pained and hurt and confused.

"Are these from…"

I cried harder.

In my mind I went through everything. Every memory replayed. Every pain I'd managed to bury resurfaced. All the sores and wounds and healing holes were ripped open again.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. It was all I could do to keep breathing.

Without speaking, Jacob scooped me up off the floor and cradled me in his arms while the CD and picture were cradled in mine. By the time I was done crying, which could have been hours, I was unsure, Jacob's eyes were blank and intent. He gently placed me on the bed and took my tear-glistened face in his hands.

"Do you want me to take this stuff away?" he asked firmly.

I shook my head no.

"Are you sure?" he asked again in a deep voice.

I nodded. I held the CD and picture tighter. I didn't want him to take them away.

He stood up straight and look down at me, unsure of what to do. "I'll be back. I still have to check on the pack. Can I leave you here for two minutes?"

I nodded again.

"Two minutes," he repeated firmly. Hesitating before leaving, he turned and slid out the window.

I curled up in a ball on my bed, tears blurring my vision and staining my shirt. My head throbbed from crying. My chest was caving in. My breath came in ragged, erratic bursts. Edward had been real. I had evidence. Not that I'd ever doubted he had been. But now I felt he still existed. And the rest of them. Rosalie. Emmett. Esme. _Alice._ My heart hurt. They'd all disappeared so quickly…

These small pieces I had now – these were enough. They were proof. A tiny, irrational part of me hoped that they would come back now that I'd found these. Everything would go back to normal.

But what about Jacob? I was hurting him. My attachment to the Cullens was causing him pain. I could see it. I just saw the sting of hurt on his face. He didn't understand. How could he? He hated the Cullens and always will.

But I didn't understand, either. After everything, why did I want them back? For what purpose? So they could all leave again without saying goodbye? So they could overshadow me again, making me feel inferior with their inhuman beauty? They'd ripped me apart. Why did I still care about them? I cared about Jacob, now. I cared about Jacob and the pack and his tribe. That was my new life.

I couldn't go back to my old life. I didn't want to. I didn't have the choice. I couldn't do that to Jacob. Or to myself. Or to Charlie. This life was better. Healthier. Natural. _Right._ Sometimes, you have to learn to love what's good for you, just like Charlie said. I loved Jacob Black now. Whatever feelings I thought I still had for Edward – for any of them – were irrational. They had no feelings left for me in return.

I gazed down at the picture in my hands. Neither of us were looking towards the camera. Both of us were smirking awkwardly. I looked very stiff and uncomfortable. Edward's lips were pressed to my head, but his eyes were looking elsewhere. It seemed awkward and disjointed.

Putting the CD down on the bed with absurd care, I slid off the bed and reached behind the trashcan where the crumpled picture I'd stolen from Jacob's room had fallen as I'd tried to throw it away. Holding up the pictures side by side, I examined them with a critical eye.

Jacob's face shone with joy and excitement. He held me close to him in a comforting way, no matter my horrible posture and pitiful expression. In contrast, Edward held my body at a distance, as always, afraid to get too close. His eyes were…bored? Wanting? I couldn't tell. Whatever it was, it was far from the excitement Jacob showed towards me. It was so strange seeing this picture of Edward and me again from a different perspective – a perspective unperturbed by false love.

Edward didn't look anything like me. His human features were no deception to that fact that he was unreal. You couldn't see life in him. He was hard, he was stone. In the past, I'd seen him so differently. I saw him in a completely different light now.

Yet, the memories still stung. Alice had left without saying goodbye. That a part of them remained behind – I'd searched long and hard for weeks after they'd left for signs of their existence – killed me. I'd been in so much pain and agony thinking everything had just been a dream and that I was going insane, when all the evidence had been right here in the room where my nightmares had ripped my insides to pieces and turned my throat raw with useless screams. In my time of depression, I'd taken comfort in thinking that he'd taken these things, these small remembrances, with him. Now I could see he hadn't wanted them. Anger and bitterness washed over me.

I tossed Edwards picture into the garbage and propped Jake's up on my nightstand where it belonged.

Curling up, staring intently at the gifts from my 18th birthday, I waited for my sun to return. The damaged, sick, twisted part of me wanted to shove the CD into my stereo and press play. I shut that part down in a hurry.

He returned shortly, sliding into my room without initially making eye contact. After a few seconds, he let his eyes move to my hands where he saw I was no longer cradling Edward's picture. His shoulders relaxed slightly and he stepped towards me.

"Are you okay?" he asked sullenly.

"Yes."

He met my eyes, which I was sure were still swollen and damp. I wished I hadn't cried in front of him.

"What do you want to do now?" His eyes were darker now than they had been when he'd left a few minutes earlier. I wondered what he'd been thinking.

I shrugged, letting my gaze fall back to the discarded gifts.

"Do you still love him?" Jacob asked bluntly. I brought my head up to look at him and his face was angry.

"No." I answered firmly.

"It kind of seems like you do." He mumbled.

"I don't." Not anymore.

"You_ still_ miss them."

I thought before responding. "No, I don't."

His shoulders started to shake and his fists curled up. He was glaring at my ruined party dress with a creased forehead. "I'm so tired of them interfering. He's not even_ here_ and he _still _controls you."

I felt the sting of his acidic remarks.

"You were almost past it," he continued, still quivering with anger. "You were almost back. I could feel it. And now this...those effing bloodsuckers step back in and ruin everything I've built back up. They could all be dead and yet they're still _here_ and they're wrecking everything. Always in the way."

"Jake," I pleaded. "Stop..."

He left out a big huff of air. "Are you going to keep all these?" He said 'these' in a way that blatantly showcased his distaste for them.

I shook my head. "No."

"Are you sure?" he pressed.

"I don't want them." It was true. If Edward didn't want them, neither did I. they were just reminders of what had destroyed me.

Jake looked up, at first skeptical, but after seeing my expression, seeming hopeful. "Okay."

Intently, without distraction, Jacob helped my shove all of what we'd found in the garbage bag in the back of my closet that held the radio I'd ripped my nails apart destroying. We hastily disposed of them in the junkyard where Jake had found the parts for our motorcycles. I vowed to shed no more tears over the matter. I could not lose it over this. They were my past. Jacob was my present.

Upon my insistence, thinking it might help keep me together, we drove to La Push and landed at Emily's. I made to shove open my truck door, but Jacob's warm hand wrapped around my wrist.

"You're gonna be okay, right? You're gonna be fine." The initial confusion and anger had left, leaving concern.

I nodded, freed my wrist and got out of the car. Jake followed closely and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't…sensitive. I don't want to lose you, Bella." He said.

"I know," I responded. "You won't."

He took my face in his hands and bore down into me. "Stay with me. He left you, Bells. This is your life now."

I reminded myself that I'd vowed not to cry. I couldn't speak in fear of breaking it.

Not speaking was okay. Jacob pulled me into another tight hug, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my hair. With my face pressed against his chest, I felt safe. I was afraid of him letting go. I didn't _want_ to fall apart. I wanted to be strong for Jacob. He was always strong for me.

"I love you," he said confidently. "Please don't let this get to you. They aren't important. I love you enough."

Enough. Enough to heal me up and hold me together. Enough to cover the wrongs done to me by others. Enough to overshadow my pain and doubts.

"I love you, too" I said, my voice cracking. I wrapped my arms around his huge frame as best I could and clung to him. He was always here for me. Jake was my life cornerstone.

I lay on Emily's couch reading and waiting for the other wolves to come home so everyone could eat. Emily was busy in the kitchen, fixing yet another enormous amount of food for her voracious family. Leah and Quil were on patrol. Embry was with Jared. Sam, Paul and Jacob were in the kitchen sitting around the table.

I drifted in and out of sleep. I always ended up exhausted after any sort of emotional upheaval. I wondered if that was normal.

Eyes closed listening carefully to the boy's conversation, I let their deep voices soothe me. They talked about strategy, the possibility of other tribe members joining the pack, Quil's initial adjustment: all pack stuff.

"What was up this morning?" Paul asked in a low tone. "We saw…"

"It was Bella," Jake responded quietly, keeping his voice extra low to keep me from hearing. "She had a…minor setback this morning."

"What do you mean," Sam questioned authoritatively. "I thought she was better."

"She _was_," Jake emphasized. "But I busted her floorboard this morning and that filthy bloodsucker had shoved all his old stuff in there and she freaked…"

"What?" Paul questioned incredulously.

"Yeah," Jake said, equally dubious. "All his old gifts to her and stuff. And she just fell apart, crying and everything." He sighed.

"She seems good now," Sam said. I pretended to be asleep, but I could feel his eyes on me.

"Honestly, I can't tell." Jake said, pained. "I hope she's not holding it all back so she can break when I'm not looking. I don't want her to fall back…"

"Bella's tough." Sam encouraged. "She'll be alright."

"I hope so."

"She'll be fine, man. You've got her back." Paul said. I heard the slap of skin on skin and pictured him patting Jake on the back.

"I hope she knows that."

Paul grunted, "She does, Jake. No sweat."

"Thanks."

I was disappointed in myself. I shouldn't have let Jake see me fall apart so easily. He'd done so much to help me. It wasn't fair to him. I had to do better.

I waited for a while after their conversation had concluded before stretching and sitting up. Casually, I stood up and walked over to where Jake was. To his obvious surprise, I sat down on his lap and scooted backwards until I was leaning back against his chest. Leaning back, I made myself comfortable. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around my middle. Out of my peripheral, I saw Paul shoot him a look and I felt Jake shrug the tiniest of shrugs in response. I smiled slightly.

"Did- did you have a good nap?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did." I responded casually.

"Good," he said as his brothers and Leah walked in. Everyone squeezed around the table – which seemed smaller than the last time I'd sat here since more of the pack was present – and ate what Emily had fixed. There was cut up fruit and eggs (a pack favorite), plus some mini bagels and beef jerky. It was an odd array of food.

"I just fix whatever I have," Emily whispered to me as a side note. "It all depends on what I can buy cheapest in bulk." She giggled. "Sometimes I feel like an obsessive bargain hunter. No one seems to mind, though. They're just happy to get free food. The boys have all offered to pay me for all the meals, but I won't let them. It's the least I can do. They protect our tribe." I smiled. "Plus, Sam doesn't have to worry about his boys running low on enegery." The mismatched meals were fitting for her eclectic house. There were diverse arrays of tribal rugs, dream catchers and paintings along with a TV and an Xbox.

"Quil likes video games," she'd explained to me one afternoon. "I let him keep it here so he can play in between shifts." I was glad to hear he was still having some fun.

Most of the plates were empty when Sam stood up. "Emily and I have something to tell everyone," he said seriously.

I glanced at Emily in surprise. She smiled sheepishly.

"Emily and I eloped last week."

The wolves hit the _roof._

"_WHAT?" _Jacob screamed, his palms slapping the table.

"What the _heck,_ Sam? Why didn't you tell-"

"Since when do you have free time to be doing things like-"

"When were you planning on telling us, huh, chief?" Quil yelled.

My jaw hit the floor. I looked over at Emily. Her face was red but she was grinning ear to ear. It was only now that I noticed the white gold band around her finger.

"Oh my word!" I yelped, hardly audible above the ensuing racket. "Congratulations!" I threw my arms around her neck.

She smiled, "Thanks, Bella."

"How did you keep that a secret?" Paul hollered.

"You guys can only hear what I want you to hear. Alpha, remember?" He cracked a rare smile. Another roar erupted. A melon flew through the air toward his face and he caught it with both hands.

"_What?_ What else don't we know!"

Sam winked at Emily and she blushed again.

"I'm moving in here officially tomorrow. Jared's gonna stay here instead of my house."

"Sweet!" Paul said. "He'll be real close to the action that way."

"There goes three-fourths of the food," Quil mumbled.

"Stop worrying about yourself!" Leah shouted obnoxiously.

"_Enough_," Sam said, and they fell silent. Leah stood up so quickly her chair toppled to the ground and she stormed out of the house. He let her go. Emily frowned and looked at the ground. Paul started to push away from the table to follow, but Sam held out his arm. "Let her go."

"Leave it to Leah to ruin the mood." Quil called.

I must've been wearing a worried expression. Jake threw his arm around my shoulder and whispered, "She'll be fine." I leaned against him and sighed, putting myself in Leah's shoes and wondering what I would've done if I hadn't had Jacob to get me through the heartbreak. I didn't know.

Emily and I cleared the table while the wolves wrestled and relaxed. Jake, Paul and Sam were preparing for their night shift.

"I didn't want a big, fussy wedding," she said quietly to me as she wiped off a plate with a tattered blue towel. "Especially because of Leah…we figured this would be easier for her."

I didn't respond. Clean breaks weren't always the easiest, but what did I know about how Leah would handle things?

"I see you're still wearing the bracelet I made for you," she remarked.

The bracelet on my wrist had practically become a part of me. I hadn't taken it off since I'd gotten it. "Yeah, of course! I love it."

"I'm glad," she said, then busied herself in the dishes.

I opened my mouth to ask her about the legend Jake had shared with me, but was interrupted when I felt a pair of warm arms work their way around my waist.

"Sam wants me to take some food to Jared," he said. "Want to come?"

I looked at Emily apologetically. I hated leaving her with all the dishes. "Go!" she encouraged. "Tell him I said hello and that I'll see him tomorrow."

"I will. Thanks, Emily." I dropped the dish I'd been cleaning back into the sink. I'd have plenty of time to ask about the legend later and I was in no hurry.

Jacob and I loaded two grocery bags with everything from cereal to Dortios. With his free hand he grabbed mine and pulled me out into the night air. It was cool and moist, typical for Forks, and it felt like home. The forest was illuminated by the full moon.

I was so thankful for my La Push family. I was finally starting to feel like a real part of them. Today had been filled with emotional vicissitudes and I was grateful that it was almost over.

"I'm proud of you," Jake said as we walked.

"For what?"

"You know," he side-glanced me. "Holding it together."

"Oh," I responded.

"You know, you don't have to be strong for me. I can handle it if you want to cry again."

I didn't feel like crying. "I'm okay now, Jacob. Really. Being here helps."

"Okay," he said. "If you're certain…"

"I am." I squeezed his hand to emphasize my point.

We reached Sam's house and walked up the front porch steps. As we opened the front door, Jared called out. "Finally! I'm starving over here."

"Sorry, Jared, we didn't bring any food." He winked at me.

"You're _kidding_!" he yelled back.

Quickly, Jake reached down and kissed my lips for a brief moment. He beamed, took one of the bags from my right hand, and dragged the food into his bedroom.

I grinned. I loved the pack. The beginning of today had been hell, but tomorrow was a fresh start. Every last remnant of Edward, the Cullens and my past life were history. I had a clean slate, and I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life here in La Push, content, with my adoring Jacob.

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	17. Brotherhood

****NOTE: In the movie, the tattoos came in to play fairly early on. For the purpose of my story, I'm going with the book version that never mentions them. **Thanks to _Jacob Lupo_ for suggesting them.

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CHP 17 BROTHERHOOD

I didn't let my thoughts drift back. Only forward. Forward, forward, forward. To Jacob. To Charlie. It was a constant effort to keep my mind to the present, but I could spare no more regret or tears over what had happened in the past.

Angela helped me focus during school.

"Are you going to prom?" she asked one afternoon at lunch. Jessica and Lauren were jabbering on about their weekends and Eric was imitating a scene from a recently released movie to Mike.

"No," I responded, shaking my head. One prom experience was more than enough.

"Aw, it would be fun. Eric's going to DJ again. Are you sure you aren't coming?"

I took a small bite of celery and chewed before answering. "Yeah, I'm sure. Jake and I have plans that night anyway." I was sure that would end up being the case.

"We'll miss you," she said kindly, then turned to talk to Tyler.

I was relieved not to be going to prom, but I couldn't believe it was time to start planning for that again. The months had flown by. So much had happened since the Cullens had left. It was hard for me to separate the months in my head, but I concentrated and tried to piece that last nine months together.

Edward had left in September, followed by my "dead" months. Those were one huge blur, though I knew I'd miss all the major holidays towards the end of the year. I skipped to more recent memories. Jacob had changed in February. Harry's heart attack was in March. Quil joined the pack after that, then Jared's injury. Jacob and I had officially gotten together in April. Emily eloped last week. Now it was the end of May. I was scheduled to graduate at the end of June. I choked on what I was chewing.

"Are you okay?" Angela asked, concerned. She pushed a bottle of water towards me. I struggled to swallow and clumsily sloshed water on myself whilst trying to recover. I took a moment to clean myself up before responding.

"We _graduate_ in June!" I sputtered. How had this snuck up on me?

Jessica clapped her hands together excitedly. "I know, right? Finally! I've been waiting for this my entire life!"

"Seniors, baby!" Eric shouted, holding his can of soda up in the air, receiving small cheers from the surrounding upperclassmen.

"Aren't you excited?" Angela whispered.

"I'm just…surprised!" I said, tucking my hair behind my ears and shrugging. "It snuck up on me."

She laughed. "I think we all feel a little bit like that. But it'll be great! Only one more month of high school."

"Oh my goodness, I already have my graduation outfit picked out!" Jessica said to no one in particular. "It's white lace with-"

I wondered if Jake had thought about my graduating. He was a year behind me, after all. But was he even enrolled in school anymore? I couldn't keep up with him. I would have to go away to college, though, right? Was it too late to apply? How could I have let that slip by?

The bell rang for us to go to our final period. As we filed out, Angela caught up to me. "You seem tense. Are you nervous for graduating?" Angela was always overly perceptive.

"Maybe a little," I said. I was more nervous about that I didn't know what I was going to do afterwards. Or what Jacob was going to do. I wish id given this some thought sooner. I'd been so caught up in the werewolf world that I'd let it slip by and Charlie wasn't one to remind me of anything.

"It'll be okay," she said. "I'll help you get ready if you need me to."

I smiled. "Thanks, Angela."

Anatomy inched by. The seconds were like hours. Mr. Ballas went on and on about all the human body could do, but he didn't know half of it. No studies of his showed that a human body could more than triple in size and turn into a massive wolf at the drop of a hat.

Finally, we were released, and I walked hastily out to the parking lot to see Jake. Though at the moment it wasn't raining, it was obvious that the weather hadn't been kind to Jake on his ride over. Unprotected on his motorcycle, he'd been exposed to all the elements. His black t-shirt was splattered in mud and clung to him. His dark black hair was messy and wet. As he saw me, he grinned his white smile shown in contrast to his dark features. Leaned up against his motorcycle with his arms crossed, he looked like a model.

I glanced at Angela, who had obviously also noticed Jake's model look. She glanced back at me and giggled. I blushed.

Suddenly, I got an idea. "Angela, will you do me a favor?"

"Sure," she replied.

I reached inside my schoolbag to take out the camera Renee had sent me. Handing it to her, I asked, "Will you take a picture of us, please?"

She smiled, "Of course!"

"Hey, Jake! Angela is going to take a picture of us. Is that okay?"

Jake grinned again. "Sure, sure. Go ahead."

He wrapped his arms around me, but was careful not to press me against him in case I got dirty. I ignored his courtesy and threw my arms around him. The last thing I needed was another picture where I looked ambivalent and disconnected. I cuddled up to him, leaves and all, and smiled just as big as he was.

Angela held the camera up, focused it and snapped the shot.

"Thanks, Ang!" I exclaimed. I was always in a better mood when Jake was around.

"No problem. It's good to see you, Jacob!"

"Thanks, Angela," Jacob said with his arm slung over my shoulder. "It's good to see you too."

She smiled and waved before leaving us along. Jake held out the motorcycle helmet to me. "To my house?"

I took the helmet reluctantly, feeling dumb wearing one when Jacob never did.

"Just put it on," he said, reading my mind. "You know why I don't need one."

"I know, I know," I griped, sliding it on. "Off to your house, then."

Dropping the motorcycle off in Jake's shed for secret and safekeeping, we headed towards his house. Billy came to the door when he saw us heading up the path.

"It's good to see you, Bella." He greeted me.

"It's good to see you, too, Billy. How are you?"

"Oh, the same as always," he replied, wheeling out of the way so Jake could squeeze through the door. "Maybe you could invite Charlie down for dinner tonight?"

"Sure, Billy. I bet he'd like that." I hadn't spent much time with Charlie lately. I dialed the house number and told him to come around six.

Billy left us alone, stationing himself in front of the Black's small portable television. Sitting myself down on Jake's messy bed while he faced his closet to pick out some dry clothes.

"What would you do if I got a tattoo?" he asked, busing himself plucking through various hanging shirts.

The query caught me off guard. I thought for a second before answering with a question. "What do you want a tattoo for, Jake? You don't need one of those." Charlie had always said that tattoos were for criminals and those who wanted to fit in with criminals.

He reached down to grab to hem of his shirt, his back still facing me, and pulled the muddy shirt over his head. The ridges of his tan back were prominent, if possible even prominent than the last time I'd seen him, and the ceiling light cast shadows over his muscles. As he turned towards me, I saw his face was hesitant. My eyes then moved down to his upper arm where a large, round tattoo was etched into his beautiful tan skin.

"Oh," I said. My mouth fell slack.

He looked into my eyes and grimaced. "What do you think?"

"Wow, Jake. What – I mean – why?"

He rubbed his palm over his new branding and moved to sit next to me. "It's a new pack thing."

I waited for him to elaborate.

"They're kind of in celebration of Jared healing up. He's almost better now. Since he's at the Uley's now –Sam and Emily's – his healing has sped up. Probably the excitement at the prospect of _running_ again. " He smiled. "We're all really pumped for him. It'll be good to have our other brother up and running."

I traced my fingers over his arm, following the elegant design, while he continued.

"I guess it also symbolized brotherhood. We're all so close – we have to be – and this just takes it to another level."

I still hadn't said anything. I could see his forehead was starting to crease in worry as the minutes ticked by. "You don't hate it, do you?"

I let my fingers color in the spaces of the tattoo. "It's beautiful."

Immediately, his face lit up. "You like it?"

"Yeah, I do." I said sincerely. "I was just surprised." It defined his arm more and made him look older. Like he needed any help with that.

"The two wolves in the center represent teamwork, unity and togetherness. That's what the pack is all about."

"So everyone got one?"

"Yep," he said, standing up to pull on a clean shirt. For his own sake, I was glad it was covered by a t-shirt. I wasn't sure how Charlie would handle his new marking.

"Leah, too?" I was surprised. She'd been distant as of late.

"Yeah."

"Leah got a bicep tattoo?" That was hardcore, even for Leah.

"Well…not a bicep tattoo."

"Then where did she put it?"

He grimaced. "She got a tramp stamp."

I nodded. _That_ sounded like the Leah I knew.

"I think it was to spite Sam, partly- to be unified but not exactly like the rest. It might be just because she's a girl, but I think she's just stubborn."

We both shrugged. No one could decipher Leah.

Jake grabbed my wrists and pulled me to my feet. Gently, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. It was unexpected and very, very sweet. After a while, he moved his hands to my face, where he held me still gently and kissed my lips. I pushed up on my toes to get closer to him and I could feel his mouth smiling against mine. His warm lips pressed against mine one last time and he pulled back, smiling.

"We should go to Sam and Emily's after dinner."

"Okay," I replied. I was up for anything as long as Jacob was with me.

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**Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeview :)**


	18. Naye's Visit

You can thank caffeine for this chapter :)

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CHP 18 CHANGE

Dinner with Billy and Charlie was low key and uneventful. Billy had fixed ravioli for all of us. At first I had wondered how many others he invited. The pot of ravioli could have fed an entire cafeteria of adults. Then I remembered that Jake was here. He ate more than half the pot himself. I thought Charlie might be sick watching him eat. Being around the pack so much, especially at meal times, I was used to feasts evaporating before I could finish my first course, but I tried watching Jake through Charlie's eyes. Was he even chewing? I doubted it.

Things at the Uley's were rowdy. Most of the wolves were in, save for Leah and Embry. I was pleased to see Jared propped up on one of Emily's mismatched couches. While Jake grabbed a second dinner, I plopped down next to Jared. To my surprise, he flung his arm over my shoulder and continued talking to Paul. His arm was heavy, and I wasn't sure what to do with it or what he was thinking. I tried to shrug it off, but he pulled me closer against him.

"Hey, Bella!"

"Um, hey," I replied, rather uncomfortable, trying to shift away. "Glad to see you sitting up."

"I'm healing up, baby!" He replied enthusiastically. "I'll be out in the woods in no time."

"I'm not sure if I'm glad to have you back or not," Quil complained. "You're not good for anything yet. Really all you do now is eat all the food and hog my xBox."

A remote control went flying in Quil's direction.

"Watch it!" Quil yelped, catching it just before it smashed into the wall. "You break it, you buy it."

"With what money, huh? All that I rake in from you during all your losing bets?"

A pillow launched form the opposite direction.

"No throwing things in my house!" Emily called from the kitchen. "Save it for the woods."

Jake walked over to the couch and saw me crushed helplessly against Jared. Without saying anything, he grabbed Jared's arm and flung it off me roughly. "Get your own," he mocked, winking at me and pulling me onto his lap.

Jared cradled his arm. "Can you blame me? I haven't seen a single girl in months! All of you kept me locked up in that hellhole of a hospital. Not even a television to keep me occupied."

"Just be glad we didn't leave you out in the forest." Paul interjected. "Keep in mind we can still throw you back out there and you wouldn't even be able to walk home."

"Give me a week – two at the most – I'll be back to normal. You'll see."

"At any rate," Jake said, wrapping his arms around me. "Bella isn't single. So hands off."

I smiled and snuggled closer. Wolf banter was straight up entertainment. I looked around the room and saw all of the pack's tattoos – all identical to Jacob's. Though intimidating, they were a nice touch. They really did look like brothers now, even more so than before.

Emily walked in carrying a tray full of cookies. Quil lunged for one, but she batted his hand away, glaring. "Ladies first." Tilting the tray towards me, she offered, "Cookie?"

I took one and nibbled around the edges. To me, it was still hot. That was obviously no obstacle for the rest of the pack.

"I'm having some extra guests over later tonight. My friend and her little daughter. They should be here in about an hour. I want you all to be polite." She glared at Quil. "Be respectful and don't throw things." She looked at Jared and Paul in turn. I was proud she didn't have to look at Jacob. He and Sam had the best manners of the bunch.

It was sometimes easy to forget that Emily was only 25 since s he seemed so much like a mother at times. Paul was 20, not far behind her, but even he respected her like he would have his own mom. I admired the kind of respect she upheld for herself in the midst of all this chaos. That was a skill I didn't have.

Paul dozed in a rocking chair while Jared and Quil continued to prod each other about bets and videogames. Quietly, on our end of the worn in couch, Jake and I had our own conversation.

"I graduate in a month." I said, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Wow. That's soon."

I nodded. "It snuck up on me."

He nodded back. "Me too." He paused. "You're not leaving, are you?"

I didn't know.

"I mean, I could come visit you," he continued. "I could always run there. Cheap and fast. As long as you didn't fly off to Oxford or something ridiculous like that."

I'd just gotten adapted to La Push life. I'd miss the pack and the warmth and the constant overturning of food and people. I would miss Charlie, too. Also, surprisingly, I'd miss the green and the mist and the rain. Forks was my home now. I didn't want to leave when I hadn't gotten to spend much time here to begin with.

"I don't really want to leave." I answered.

Jake thought for a minute. "Well, I'm not going anywhere. I can't." He sounded sad. I looked up at him, and his facials matched his tone. "I can't leave until my job is done."

"And when is that?"

"When there are no more vampires." His brow was furrowed in concentration.

I understood. Never. Jake can't ever leave.

"I'd understand if you'd want to leave. See more of the world. More…options. I'm not the only one."

I turned my face up to his in surprise. "What?"

"I said I would understand if you wanted to leave. You know, leave Forks. Leave La Push. Meet new people. Isn't that what all Forks girls want to do? Have some adventures?"

I laughed humorlessly. "I've had enough adventures to last a lifetime."

He patted me on the back gently. "You've got that right…"

I had to admit, I wasn't super ambitious. I had no life plans, no far off goals to reach. Staying in forks forever didn't exactly appall me. I was nothing like Renee in that I didn't feel stuck here like she had – like it I didn't leave now I'd never escape. Forks had grown on me. Everything about this place drew me in. Especially the prospect of being with Jacob forever.

I wondered if it was normal for someone to be sucked into two all-consuming relationships in high school. Actually, I knew the answer. No. No, it wasn't normal. Jessica might have tried to involve herself in multiple all-consuming relationships, but all of those had been one-sided. My love life had not been normal, especially since my only two boyfriends had been a vampire and a werewolf.

Being boy crazy had never been my niche. As for having two serious boyfriends, Edward shouldn't have even been in my life in the first place. He was out of place. Not of this era. An anachronism. That whole episode had been unnatural.

My thoughts were put on hold. Emily's extra guests were arriving. I'd have to think more about college later.

I turned to look over Jacob's shoulder. A pretty woman around thirty walked in. She was wearing a pretty, floral, button-up blouse with jeans. Her hair was long, black and straight, her skin matched Jake's and the rest. Around her ankles, a toddler clung to her leg. She, like her mother, had straight black hair and round, dark eyes. Her cheeks were blushing healthily.

"Let's go meet them," Jake suggested. I got up and waited for Jake to join me, pushing my hair behind my ears as I waited. Meeting new people made me nervous, as did most other social norms.

As soon as the young girl saw Sam, her face lit up and she ran for him. Grinning, he scooped her tiny body up and took her into the kitchen with him to get a snack.

"It's great to see you, Naye." Emily said as she hugged her friend.

"Thank you for inviting us," she said quietly. "We're always happy to visit."

Jake stepped forward to shake her hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Jacob Black."

She smiled kindly in return. "It's nice to meet you, Jacob. I'm Naye."

Jacob smiled and casually stepped back to allow me to introduce myself. Seeing I might need some encouragement, he placed his hand on the small of my back and pushed.

"Bella Swan," I managed to say, sticking my hand out in her direction.

"Bella," she said, still smiling.

"She's with me," Jacob said, smiling, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to his side.

Emily watched our exchange and called over her shoulder to the other boys. "Come introduce yourselves!"

Paul and Quil filed in, smacking Jared on the back of the head in turn as they walked by. They managed smoother introductions than I had. I was envious of other people's social skills.

"My daughter's with Sam in the kitchen. I apologize if she's shy towards you all. Try not to take it personally." Naye said. "Oh, and her name is Clair."

Sam stepped in from the kitchen, the small girl sitting on his arm with her arms wrapped around his neck. Quil looked over his shoulder, just glancing, and turned back. What happened next was beyond explanation.

His eyes _lit up_. There's no other way I could word it. For an instant, I could've sworn his face was glowing. He turned back towards Sam and held his hands out for the girl. The shy girl, no more than two, instantly untangled herself from Sam and leaned towards Quil with open arms, smiling. Sam handed her over without question, but his eyes were locked on Quil. A noticeable crease carved itself into his forehead.

Quil was beaming, and held the little girl in a tight hug. Then he moved her to hold her at his hip. Clair reached up and touched his face and buried her face in his shoulder like she'd known him her entire life.

Quil chuckled. "She doesn't seem shy to me."

I understand why Sam looked worried, or maybe concerned. Maybe he just hadn't wanted to give up the cute little girl. She was adorable, after all.

"I'm surprised!" Naye commented, eyebrows raised. "She's never outgoing like this. You must be special." She shrugged.

"Can I take her into the living room to play?" he asked.

"Sure," she said. "I bet she would like that."

Quil and Clair walked off. He set her down on the ground, sat down next to her, and handed her something to hold. His entire attention was focused on her. It struck me as odd. I wouldn't have pegged Quil Aterra for a baby-loving type of guy.

Jacob and Sam were having a deep conversation without words. Their eyes were locked intently on one another. If I hadn't been so in tuned with Jacob, I wouldn't have noticed his head twitching minutely in response to Sam's silent questions.

The night went on fairly normally. Sam leaned up against the wall in the living room and watched Quil and Clair. I wasn't sure why he was so fascinated. It was like he was studying them. I watched closely to see if I was missing something.

Quil and Clair were just playing. Quil would hide something in one hand- always in the same hand- and Clair would try to find it. She was surprisingly smart for a toddler. It didn't take her long to catch on. When she did, Quil tickled her until she fell into his lap laughing. It was like a very close brother and sister. There was nothing strange about it though- nothing besides the fact that Clair had been so receptive to him and he'd seemed so drawn to her.

When it was time for Naye and Clair to go, Quil protested. "Aw, can't you guys stay longer? Clair and I were just getting started!"

Naye laughed, reaching for her daughter. "I'm sure we'll come back and visit soon. You two can play then!"

Besides reaching for her mother, Clair clung to Quil with a frown on her face.

"Stay." She said.

I could tell it was taking Quil enormous amounts of self-control not to glue himself to her in return. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "I guess it's time for you to go, Clair. I'll see you soon, okay? I promise."

They looked into each other's eyes. Slowly, Clair unwound her arms from around him and toddled towards Naye.

"You're so odd sometimes, Clair." Her mother said, shaking her head. Clair clung to her mom's leg again, but I could tell she was still looking at Quil. "Anyway, thanks again Emily, and Sam, for having us."

"It was our pleasure," Emily answered for the two of them. Sam was still staring intently at the back of Quil's head.

"We'll see you soon," she waved, walking out the front door.

Everyone turned to look at Quil. He was beaming. "Isn't that a cool little girl?"

Sam flexed and pushed himself off the wall. "Outside. Let's talk." For a moment, Quil looked confused, but followed Sam outside.

After they'd gone out of earshot, Jared piped up. "That's some hardcore stuff if I've ever seen it," he said, shaking his head. "Strange stuff."

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More to come ASAP! review!


	19. Imprint

I hope you guys like this chapter! Trying something new….don't freak out! I did my best.

Happy Halloween :) I successfully carved two Team JACOB pumpkins :) Love it. On with the fanfic! REViEW PLEASE!

CHP 19 IMPRINT

***SAM'S POV***

I felt it when it happened. Not as intensely as I'd felt when it happened with Emily, but still. That unconscious shift. The obvious new energy. Their apparent connection. Tell tale signs. Quil had imprinted.

But on a toddler? What the heck was _that _about? Couldn't anything in this pack be _normal_? Now there were two imprinters in the pack. Not exactly unheard of, but rare. They should've given me a freakin manual for all this.

I walked into the woods, knowing Quil would follow. Emily and Leah understood imprinting. I had to explain it to both of them when it had happened for me. I'd never forget Leah's face…the hurt…

Jacob understood, too. Understood enough to hate it, anyway. We'd talked about it when Bella came into the picture. At first I hadn't approved of their relationship, not only because of what I wrongly assumed to be indifference on her side, but because the possibility of Jake having to live through what I had experienced – uncontrollably hurting the one you love. It would kill them both. He'd made his decision, though, and was solid on it. I couldn't fault him for that.

I loved Emily. That love made my feelings for imprinting less than hate. Part of me still regretted that I didn't have a choice. Imprinting had caused incontrovertible amounts of pain and hurt Leah. I'd had no control over it. The other part of me pictured Emily and thought that I might've chosen her on my own accord. Deep down I still had some bitterness. Not towards Emily, of course. She was perfect. But imprinting paid no regard towards my previous engagements.

I hadn't told the rest of the pack. I hadn't felt it necessary. It wasn't in the basic 411 I laid down immediately after they changed. They knew about it – the tiniest bit of it- solely from my leaked thoughts. Who would've guessed the pack would turn into a matchmaker game show under my watch?

I turned sharply, facing Quil. Even as the Alpha, I wasn't sure how to go about this. I felt like an awkward dad trying to explain sex to his daughter. A blunt approach seemed fitting. "You imprinted on Clair."

His face was blank. He said nothing. I continued.

"I don't know why. It's fairly sporadic."

Still no response.

"Being that she's only two, you'll have to wait until she grows up. It doesn't matter much since you're not aging."

Silence.

I hated when they made me do this. "Say something," I ordered.

He cringed. "I imprinted?" he choked out.

"Yes. Imprinted. Found your soul made. You'll be everything to her. Everything she'll ever want or need she'll find in you and your entire life will be devoted to your love for her in whatever stage of life she's in." I phrased it how Emily had. She was better at words than me.

"But…" he looked appalled. "She's _two_."

"You don't feel romantic love for her now. But you will, I suspect, in time. The draw you felt towards her immediately was a sign of imprinting."

His eyes searched the earth at his feet. "Is that what that was?"

I nodded sharply.

He seemed to be struggling for words. After a moment, he said, "I felt like…I don't know. Like I'd known her my whole life. I just liked making her happy. It made _me_ happy." He frowned. "I felt like…like she was my _sister_. What now?"

"It'll all feel natural. You'll be like her brother first. So your feelings now are natural. When she grows up, you'll be her best friend. When she matures, you'll have a relationship. It'll all be very smooth." I didn't know where these words were coming from. Alpha instinct? I wasn't sure. How old was Quil, anyway? 16? He seemed too young for this. I had been 21 when I imprinted.

He nodded, like he was accepting some sort of responsibility. Maybe I'd made the wrong impression.

"It's you and me then, kid." I said, trying to lighten the mood. "Clair will fit in well when she grows up."

"Does she have a choice? What if she doesn't choose me? When she gets older, I mean."

"Yes," I replied. "Clair does have a choice. But why would she not choose you? You'll always be there for her – you'll be perfect for you. She'd be insane to choose differently. It won't even cross her mind."

He looked worried. "What if-"

"Don't worry about it." I said sternly. "Everything will go fine."

He thought for a moment. "She'll be a fun little sister."

I nodded once. "The best."

"Can I have off patrol tomorrow to go see her?"

That took me by surprise, even though it shouldn't have. Once I'd imprinted on Emily, I hardly let her out of my sight. Though surprised, I'd had plenty of practice, however, at never breaking resolve. "If Naye doesn't mind."

Quil smiled, "Thanks."

I pulled Jake aside as he and Bella were leaving the house. Everyone had gone besides them – Jared was asleep on our couch. I was ready for that boy to get well and go home.

I decided again that straightforwardness was my best bet. "Quil imprinted."

He nodded sharply, his jaw set and his eyes taut. I hadn't truly looked at his face in a long time. He looked older. We stood eye to eye, like equals.

"I'm not sure how rare this whole process actually is. I was surprised. So…" I clapped him on the back. "Just watch out."

His eyes darkened. I could feel his intensity.

"Tell Bella. Explain. Before..." I said. Not in Alpha's orders, but in serious terms.

"Sure, sure," he replied, brushing me off glancing at Bella. "I will. Later."

I frowned. Sounded like never. I took uneasy comfort in the fact I could always make him. But I didn't want to. I wanted him to call his own shots. Even if they were stupid.

They left, Bella's truck roaring away, leaving us alone. Jared was out cold, snoring.

I pulled Emily into my arms and took a good, long, thirsty look at her face- drinking in the sight of her. It still pained me to look at her scars – deep gashes and wounds that I'd caused with my own hands. I kissed them gently in a useless effort to heal them up. She'd forgiven me. I knew that. I just hadn't forgiven myself.

The undamaged half of her beautiful face smiled up at me and reached her lips for mine. As we kissed, I still felt all the love I had for her in the beginning and more. Imprinting wasn't all bad. I had Emily now and forever.

***JACOB'S POV***

All that was coming to mind at the moment was a steady stream of curse words. How was I gonna explain any of this to Bella without her freaking out and flying to Jacksonville or spiraling into depression? Sometimes I hated pack life. Really. Why can't things be normal for five minutes?

Sam imprinted on Emily. Quil on Clair (which, by the way, what the heck. Way to be a creeper with the toddlers, buddy. He'd have to explain that one later.) Who would be next? Bella would psych herself out and convince herself it's gonna be me. And it wouldn't be on her. Believe me, I'd tried to make it happen a hundred times or more. It just wasn't in the cards.

I hated imprinting. _Hated_ it. Can I have some control over my life, please? Just one thing I get to pick for myself.

Sitting in the driver's seat, I glanced over at Bella. Her head was rested against the glass window pane, her knees curled up under her, her over-sized jacket engulfing her tiny frame. I was almost positive she was sleeping; it had been a long day. Even unconscious, Bella Swan was singularly the prettiest girl I'd ever laid eyes on.

I would not imprint on someone. If Bella wasn't it and it for life, then love was not for me. There would be no one better. Plus, I hadn't put all this work into this relationship to have it yanked out from under me. No way.

The annoying voice in the back of my head that needed to _shut up_ kept telling me I needed to warn her. Just lay it all out and tell her what's up. Better for her to find out from me than from my big-mouthed brothers. Jared almost let it out while he was on bed rest. He was likely to be twice as loud and obnoxious about it now that he'd getting better and Quil's imprinted.

I parked the noisy truck in the driveway, once again thankful Billy had sold it before I'd be doomed to it. I couldn't blame Bella for conking out. How late was it? I couldn't keep track anymore. It could be 1am for all I knew. I hope Charlie isn't mad.

Reluctantly, I leaned over to wake her. "Bells, honey, wake up." I placed my hand on her shoulder.

She curled up closer to the door away from me. At first, I was confused. Did she not want me to touch her? I dropped my hand.

"I'm sleeping," she mumbled, her words muffled. I chuckled. Oh.

"Come on, I'll carry you."

I scooped her up and carried her effortlessly to the door, knowing exactly where the spare key was in order to open the door. Charlie had obviously been waiting up. As soon as he saw me carrying his daughter, he jumped up and rushed to the door.

"What happened? Is she alright? What's going on?" he pressed.

"Everything's fine, Charlie, I promise." I reassured him. "She's just sleeping."

He relaxed, regaining composure. "Oh. Well maybe if you didn't keep her out so late, falling asleep wouldn't be an issue."

"What time is it?" I questioned.

"_3am_." He answered, exasperated.

Crap. I looked at him apologetically. "I'm real sorry, Charlie. I lost track of time."

He crossed his arms, giving me a stern, fatherly look. "Mmm-hmm."

"We went to the Uley's," I offered, "To meet up with everyone."

"I know she's growing up, but she's mine until she graduates. Her curfew is midnight." He said briskly.

I nodded in obedience. I'd have to be more careful, though I knew Charlie would never throw me out.

"I'll take her up to her room?" I suggested, still holding the sleeping Bella in my arms.

He looked skeptical, but nodded, glaring at me as I walked past him with his most intimidating look. I tried to look extra repentant as I went.

Setting her down on her bed, I tried to wake her up again. This wasn't a good time. No time was a good time. But it had to be done.

"Bella?" I shook her shoulder. "Bella, wake up, we have to talk."

She started to come around. "What's wrong?" She whispered.

Wrong? Nothing wrong, exactly. I didn't know. "It's the pack."

"They all seemed fine to me," she mumbled.

"I mean, yeah, they are, but there's something happening. Something new I have to tell you." I kept my voice low so Charlie wouldn't hear. I didn't know how much time we had before he told me to go home.

She was barely awake at all. Gah. If she knew how important this was…

"Bella!" I whispered roughly. I yanked the pillow out from under her head. "Danggit, this is important!"

She opened her eyes, at first looking angry, but seeing my anguished expression, sat up and curled into a ball. "What's wrong?" she asked warily.

"Quil imprinted on Clair." I said clearly, pronouncing each word plainly so she would understand even in her grogginess.

She blinked, trying to clear her thoughts. "What do you mean?"

I wished there was a better way to do this. "Imprinted. It's like…immediately finding your soul mate. They're connected now. Like Sam and Emily."

She looked confused. "Sam and Emily…?"

I nodded, wanting her to catch on. "That's why Sam left Leah. Because he imprinted on Emily. Spontaneously. Involuntarily."

I could tell when it clicked. The sleep left her eyes immediately and she wrapped her knees tighter to her chest.

"Imprinted." She mouthed.

"Sam told me it was rare, but that's twice so far in our pack." I said, my eyes locked on hers.

"But you haven't…"

I could tell my eyes were sad. Maybe angry too. "No. I haven't."

"You could."

I nodded once, sharply. Her brow furrowed in concentration, her eyes full of questions.

"But you said it was rare?" she asked, still concentrating.

"Yes." I answered. I was anxious. Tense. I knew she could explode at any moment. Or maybe collapse. Sometimes she was like a time bomb. I braced myself on the edge of her bed.

After a long pause, and I mean a _really_ long pause, she finally spoke.

"Okay."

And that's all she said.

"What?" I said, astounded. Surely there was more she wanted to say.

She nodded her head, repeating, "Okay."

Okay? _Okay?_ Just a calm "okay" coming from Bella _Swan?_ That couldn't be all. She obviously didn't get it.

"Bella," I said, closing my eyes and shaking my head. "Do you know what I'm saying?"

"Yes. I do." She responded firmly.

"Repeat it," I said, not thoroughly convinced. I hated doing this, but I had to know that she understood. She had to know.

She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. "You could imprint. On someone else. At any moment. And have no control over it."

I blinked. Oh. Well, she got it. "And all you're saying to that is okay?"

"What else can I say?"

"Why are you so _calm_?"

She shrugged. "You haven't imprinted yet. And you said it was rare. If two in your pack already have, what're the odds you will, too? I don't think it will happen."

This was not what I had expected. At all. My accident prone, clumsy, emotional, unstable Bella should be bursting into tears, or punching me in the face, or running away. Not sitting calmly on her bed and accepting all this.

Before I could probe her further, Charlie made his presence known. He cleared his throat and leaned up against the doorframe. "I think all day and halfway into the night is more than enough time. Jake, time to go home."

I stood obediently. I knew I was pushing limits with Charlie tonight. I said goodnight to Bella, winking to let her know I'd be back shortly. There's no way I would let her spend tonight alone.

After passing Charlie out into the hall and exchanging cordial goodbyes, I waited anxiously at the edge of the trees, pacing, until I could go back. Maybe Bella had just been waiting for me to leave before cracking? Gah, I needed to go back now. I wish Charlie would hurry up and go to sleep. I could still see him walking around in the kitchen. I sat next to a fern, cursing her alleged curfew, and waited for what seemed like forever.

I heard footsteps behind me. I knew who it was immediately.

"You want me to take your shift tonight?" Sam asked.

I glanced over my shoulder. "That'd be great, Sam, thanks."

"If you do imprint in the future-" he started.

"I'm not going to imprint." I was sure of that. There was no effing way.

He paused before continuing. I heard the leaves beneath his feet shift as he turned to leave. "Everything's gonna work out," he said over his shoulder. "I'm glad she's taking it well so far."

I nodded into the night. Me, too.


	20. Scare

SORRY FOR THE WAIT: **My computer CRASHED.** I'm doing everything longhand and it's taking age. The guy fixing my computer still has it and I have to type everything up on this random desktop and gah. Once I get it back things will be normal. Dunno when I'm getting it back.

The chapter is super emotions cause I just went through a death and a breakup and theres some super action because it's time for some of that.

Get ittttt

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CHP 20 – Scare

***Bella's POV***

I know what it's like to feel pain and to be well-aquatinted with loss. I'd grown close to them both. I knew all the phases. To love and feel, to be entranced, enthralled, overtaken. To long for and cling to. To plan for the future.

Then to be cut down. Mercilessly destroyed. Entirely decimated. Ripped to pieces and stepped on. I know how it feels to suffer an emotional assault. I know emptiness, depression, the pain of memory and the shame and embarrassment of irreparable heartbrokenness.

I know what a void is. What it feels like. How it tightens up your chest and burns and nags and drags you down. How it overtakes you and consumes you and drowns you in emotions deeper than your love could have ever taken you.

I'm all too familiar with the painful, agonizing waking process and the cuts and scrapes and bruises on your insides as you try to dig yourself out of the hole you dug yourself in to.

Then, helplessness. Resign. Apathy. Indifference. An entire period of near-death. Walking and sleeping, shutting down every other part of life. You're all but dead – you might as well be. Nothing makes you happy. Nothing interests you. You're done.

Somehow, all of this is unexpectedly followed by the pricks of life. Momentary, confusing feelings. Shock when you realize the numbness in your limbs is gone. Warmth. Laughter. Hope.

And I know what it's like to want to get rid of the past. To blow it up and pretend it never happened and to want to take back everything you ever said and every action you ever took, every feeling every moment every breath every _thought_. You want it back and you reach for it and it's already gone and you can't get it back because it's been stolen by someone who doesn't love you and maybe never had. They stole everything every part and all you want to do is burn everything they ever gave you and toss out everything that might remind you of them – even if it's just a pen they used once upon a time in a dream your friend has about them eight months ago. Whenever something reminds you of them, you feel violated. Angry. Like they're trying to weed themselves back into your life and once again destroy what you've built for yourself. You hold to the present and kick and scream in your mind and tell them to _get out _cause you're not interested anymore and under no circumstances could you ever love them again because you've found something better – something that wont destroy you.

I know what it's like to want your life completely gutted. I'd done it, too. To get rid of the inevitable bitterness and anger that accompanied his reckless, selfish abandonment. I wish I could tell Edward that. _"It will be as if I never existed, I promise."_ Yeah. It will be. Cause after months of destroying myself I pushed what was left of you out. And because Jake eclipses you and helps me forget.

I sat down on my bed and felt like throwing up. All those phases, emotions, feelings – all part of what had been and was now over. Could I do it again? If Jake imprinted, everything would start over. I'd be trapped in another destructive cycle, trying to heal after being abandoned _again_. Except for this time I wouldn't have Jake to help me up.

But Jake wouldn't imprint.

He's out in the freezing forest right not waiting to come back as soon as Charlie goes to bed. I felt kind of tired and dizzy. All those emotions…what possessed me to run through all those again? Forward, forward, forward, I reminded myself. Don't look back.

I couldn't make myself believe Jake would imprint. I couldn't see it, because I couldn't imagine him with anyone else but me. Not in a selfish or conceited way, like I couldn't picture him with anyone better for himself – that wasn't it at all. I was sure that if he tried he would find someone better – someone who wasn't already broken. It was more _I_ couldn't picture myself with anyone else. There was no one else better for me. Jacob Black was my other half. No way would he imprint on another girl – one he hadn't even met yet. We'd invested so much time and friendship and love on one another already. He wouldn't just walk away. He couldn't. Especially since he was the one that showed me what brand of perfection our relationship could be. I loved him. How much heartbreak could one person be forced to endure? Surely one disaster was enough.

Set in my resolve- Jake would not imprint – I curled up in bed, lost in my own thoughts, and waited for my other half to return. I would keep calm. I would not break. I had to toughen up if I was gonna run with werewolves – Jake said so himself.

The droning of the TV downstairs ceased and was followed by Charlie's familiar footsteps. Trying to clear my head, I focused on counting his foot falls. Sixteen steps up the stairs. Five down the hall. My mind expected to hear his bedroom door creak open, but my ears heard his feet pause and shuffle outside my door.

I froze, tensing, straining to hear what he was doing. After a few seconds, I heard the faint click of my doorknob and the strain of the hinges as my door was cracked open. I was glad I was facing the wall- it was easy to feign sleep. Putting my audio senses on overdrive, I stared at the wall through the darkness, listening, taking deep, steady breaths so he would think I was sleeping.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered into the blackness, not meaning for me to heart. "I'm…I'm glad you're better."

A second click of the doorknob resonated through the room and I relaxed. My eyes teared up at this rare gesture of affection. It wasn't like Charlie to express his feelings. Of course, he hadn't meant to express them just then. But it was all the same to me. I appreciated his gesture. I was glad I was better, too. Better for myself. Better for Charlie.

***Sam POV***

It was chilly for a late spring night. The sharp, misty breeze raised the hair trailing down my spine. I dug my hands and feet into the damp ground, bracing myself for the oncoming gust of wind I could heart coming as it shifted its way through the trees half a mile out.

Paul was on patrol with me, along with Quil. I liked when it was us three. That was part of the reason I offered to cover for Black. Paul remained focused at all times – no extra thoughts, no day dreaming. Just work. I appreciated that. Aterra was usually too…bubbly, I guess, if Jacob or Embry were here, but he was so intimidated by me and so cautious around Paul that he stayed all by dead silent the majority of the evening. Personally, I felt extra grateful Leah was off tonight. I wasn't in the mood.

Paul shifted. I closed my eyes, pulling myself further down into my wolf body in order to pin his exact whereabouts. An estimated 6.72 miles northwest of my current position. That was a fairly wide gap. I switched my attention to Quil. Roughly 3 miles southeast. Acceptable range.

Fix the gap, I thought to myself.

I sprinted, full out, releasing energy and breaking tension. Waiting for the enemy – precautionarily- not attacking – was painful work. Tougher than an actual confrontation. Fighting without a target. Aiming at nothing. Preparing for the unknown. It was nerve racking at times.

Halting, I re-evaluated. Paul and Quil were both on guard now, focused, waiting.

_Just fixing gaps_, I told them. I could feel Quil had nodded in response. Quil was good at sensing distance and had probably already noticed the gap. He'd learned quickly not to run his mouth or try to make suggestions with Paul around, though. Smart kid.

1.3 mile shift.

Paul , 5.42 miles NW.

Quil, 4.30 miles SE.

Better.

_Forward,_ I ordered. They obeyed. We were in pack mode. We combed the forest, walking forward, backs facing Forks, searching for leads or trails left by Victoria or any other threat.

I felt it when the breeze, an odd gust from the west, caused Paul to stiffen. I was in tuned to him entirely as he repositioned his body facing southwest. She was here. Laready. We hadn't seen her coming. And she was behind us. Somehow she'd gotten behind us. How did she get behind us? How in the heck is this bloodsucker BEHIND US?

And we were racing, forming ranks as fast as we could. I let out a limb-shaking houl – an SOS for any and all backup. Paul was on her trail. I could smell it, using his heightened senses, and it burned my nose, searing it, making my eyes water.

She was cutting east. Towards the Swan's.

Quil fell back to catch her if she circled. Leah was here. One mile behind Paul, bearing south. The bloodsucker was leading us in crazy directions. We were disoriented. Why were we disoriented? Why were there so many trails all of a sudden? One was southeast, one northeast. What the-

_Two trails_, Embry huffed as he phased, sprinting towards Quil. _Two vampires._

Two vampires. Five of us. Five was good but not enough. Where was Jacob?

_Bella's,_ Embry answered again.

I swore. Shouldn't have offered to cover his shift. He better not be getting laid – this was important.

Embry, Quil and Leah covered one trail, the second trail, the one I could now tell was not Victoria's but an enemy's nonetheless. Paul and I ran Victoria's trail, two miles apart.

We're gaining on them, Leah spat out. The pack's adrenalined hearts were pumping as one, our legs moving in swift, synchronized motions. One unit. The forest around us was a blur.

We were gaining. My eyes blurred and watered form the force of the wind and the smell of the trail. One mile behind. One-half mile. Her scent was getting stronger. One-third mile. My nose and throat were singed from the stench. I could hear her foot falls – swift and light. I could feel them as they vibrations rocked through the earth and up through my palms into my bones. I could see her now, and my feet pushed ever faster. Paul and I closed ranks.

Leah was sprinting in the lead of the other boys on the unknown trail away from us. They were close, too. Breaking, skillfully dividing, forming new ranks, a new formation, closing in…

Paul was passing me in my peripheral. Closer. Closer. Feet. Inches. He dove, made contact, slid, hit a tree, and was still. She stumbled, faulted, kept sprinting. Man down. Where the heck was Jacob? Two was not enough here.

I pushed myself harder. The red daunts me, the smell boils up murderous rage.

Again. Closer. Feet. Inches. Strike. Miss. Fall.

Leah had missed, too. Faulty ranks, Failed execution.

I froze. They were moving, sprinting, both of them, using the tops of trees. Out of range. Running north now, at least, away from Forks.

She laughed. Her laugh was like razors. All I could see was red and I wanted to kill.

_Missed. _Five to two and we miss. Lethal rage filled my bones down to my core and made me shake. A tree and its weak limbs were my rage's unfortunate victims.

I circled back to Paul. He'd phased back. His shoulder and forehead has been badly gashed, the blood had streamed in blankets over his bicep and face. He was alive, though, awake and conscious. I could be grateful for that. He and Jared didn't need to be playing tag team on the sidelines.

_Embry,_ I thought, talking to one of the three sprinting towards me. _Go get Jacob._

He cringed. _Sam, what if-_

_Do it now,_ I commanded in Alpha. He double back and headed for Forks obediently.

Quil and Leah arrived, skidding to a halt in front of me.

_This can never happen again, _I said. _Never. Someone couldn't been killed._

They nodded in response.


	21. Absolute Chaos

My laptop is back from its selfish vaca. No more LONGHAND CHAPTERS :)

**REVIEW***What do you all think of the POV changes? I'm using them because Bella can't see the action in the forest, and I use Sam for the most part because he has full pack access. Do you think POV changes are effective?**

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CHP 21 – ABSOLUTE CHAOS

***Bella's POV***

My eyelids fluttered as Jake crawled into bed next to me.

"Sorry," he whispered, taking his normal position on his side against the wall, leaving as much space between he and I as he could manage. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Awake and aware, I was suddenly cold. I scooted towards him on the bed, curling up against him and burying my face into his bare shoulder. He wrapped his warm arms around me and pressed his cheek against the top of my head. Our breathing was deep and even. "It's okay," I said. I was glad to know he was there.

"So you're not worried? About me imprinting, I mean," he asked.

"No," I responded into the curve of his neck. "I'm not worried."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I'm not worried," I repeated, yawning. "I'm just tired. I want to sleep." All the emotional turmoil I'd gone through in his absence had worn me out.

He squeezed me in a hug and kissed the top of my head, pulling the blanket I was sleeping with tighter around me. "Okay," he said. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I whispered, and I was out.

Tiny, barely audible clinking noises brought me back to the conscious world. Jake was still sleeping, his arms still around me. Pressed against him, I listened closely for the sound. After a few moments, I heard it again - a tiny fragile-sounding thump against the window. _Clink._

Irritated, I opened my eyes, but I could see nothing but Jake's shoulder. Did anyone in Forks ever get to sleep? I could've sworn I hadn't slept a full night since I got here.

I poked Jake in the ribs. He didn't move. Annoyed, I poked harder. "Jake. Wake up."

No response. Of course.

I jabbed him in the ribs as hard as I could. "Jacob!" I said as loudly as I could without waking Charlie.

He stirred. "_What,_ Bella?"

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear _what_?" he mumbled grumpily, reaching up to rub his eyes.

"That-"

A huge crash reverberated through my room. Tiny shards of glass scattered themselves about the floor, and a sizeable rock smashed into my bedside lamp and sent it crashing to the ground. I tried to let out a scream, but Jacob was between me and the window before the sound had left my lips. He picked the rock up off the floor and held it like a baseball, ready to throw.

Squinting past Jake outside into the darkness, I saw something I never expected to see. Embry Call sat perched in the tree outside my window, looking slightly unsteady and very put out.

"It's Embry!" I whispered, clambering past Jacob to open the window. As soon as my foot hit the floor, a long shard of glass pierced my skin and jammed its way an inch deep into my foot. I stumbled, cursing my own clumsiness. Blood pooled around the glass splinter.

For a moment I panicked, remembering what trouble blood had caused me in the past, but immediately relaxed as soon as Jake kneeled down and pulled the glass out in a painless, fluid motion, flicking it effortlessly into the trash. With one hand, he grabbed a tissue, with the other arm he scooped me and carried me to the window, setting me down gently in a glass-free spot. Handing me the tissue for the mess, he opened the window and leaned out into the darkness, clearly miffed.

"What do youwant, Embry?" he asked, too calmly in my opinion.

I leaned around Jake to assert myself. "More like _what the heck, Embry?_ You broke my window!"

"We need Jacob!"

"He's right here!" I whispered angrily. "Why didn't you just call him like you always do? You didn't have to break everything!"

"We_ have_ been calling! But you two are too busy playing in your bed to notice anything, apparently!" he called back, wobbling a bit on the limb he straddled.

"_What?_ We were just-"

"Look," he said, holding up his hands in surrender. "We really don't have time for all this." He switched his gaze from me to Jacob. "Victoria is here. And others."

A gust of air escaped my lungs and I teetered on the spot. Victoria.

Jacob immediately snapped into wolf mode. "What others?"

"Unidentifiable. An unknown enemy." Embry responded, now equally focused.

More than one vampire here for the kill. My knees felt week. Jake steadied me with his arm.

"I'll be there as fast as I can."

"Sure, Jake. As long as "as fast as you can" means now. Come on." Embry skillfully jumped out of the tree, easily an eighteen foot drop, and sprinted off into the forest.

Jake looked at me with determined eyes. "I can't leave you here." His eyes swept the room, seeing the glass, the blood from my foot, and me nearing hyperventilation. "Can you walk?"

I tried and winced in pain. He cursed and pulled at his hair.

"Alright, well, I'm gonna have to carry you."

"What? Carry me? You can't -"

"To Emily's," he responded, ignoring my blighted objection. He grabbed a coat from the back of my desk chair and threw it to me. "Put it on." I didn't argue.

He grabbed a notebook off my desk and swept all the glass pieces into a pile at an inhuman speed. "There's not much I can do about the blood," he mumbled to himself. He set the lamp back up on the table and turned to face me. His spine was shivering and I worried about him exploding in my bedroom. He'd do much more damage than Embry had.

"What about Charlie?" I asked, worried, still holding the now red tissue to my foot.

"They're not here for him," he answered briskly, brow furrowed in concentration. Reaching down, he swiped my legs out from under me and caught my shoulders with his arm, cradling me against him. "Just trust me, okay? Don't object to anything I'm gonna do in the next 5 minutes."

I looked up at him, bundled up in a jacket, bleeding and confused. It didn't take me long to figure out what he was planning.

"Jake," I said, "You are not jumping out of that window while holding me."

"I told you not to object."

I started to squirm when he took a step towards the window. "Jake-"

"BELLA." He said firming. "Look, we don't have time for this. Victoria is here. In Forks. Right now. You squirm and I drop you." I went still.

"Right," he said. "Here we go." I closed my eyes.

There was a quick whooshing sound and a two second period where my stomach was flying, and then I heard the comforting thud that let me knew we were on the ground again.

Well, sort of. If you could count Jacob sprinting being "on the ground". He was going so fast I couldn't be sure that his feet were even making contact with the pavement. I looked up at him briefly, for as long as I could bear to keep my eyes open, to see if he was struggling with my weight or the ridiculous pace he was keeping. He showed no signs of weakness. Every step was purposeful. His face was hard and determined, his eyes set straight ahead and never wavering.

It was too dark for me to tell where we were. I buried my face into him. My foot was throbbing. I was terrified for the pack. Terrified for Charlie.

It wasn't long and we were at Emily's. He set me down just over the threshold and pounded on the doorframe.

"Emily!" he called loudly. "Emily! Emergency!"

Her footsteps sounded as she raced across the second floor. She tripped over her feet at the top of the stairs, her long hair flying. Grabbing the banister, eyes wide, she stammered, "What's wrong, Jake? Is it Sam? What brother is hurt?"

"Victoria is here," he said, bypassing the stairs and heading towards the back door. Emily ran down the stairs after him.

"Right now?" she asked, horrified.

"Yeah," he said over his shoulder. "Bella's foot is bleeding. She needs it wrapped up."

Just before he reached the back porch, he stripped off all of his clothes and tossed them to Emily. I dropped my eyes to the floor, embarrassed, but Emily wasn't phased. She caught his clothes and called after him. "Be careful." And he was gone.

Emily turned to me and tilted her head, "How is it that you're always getting hurt? Do you ever just have an easy day?"

I shrugged, blushing. She walked into the kitchen, folding up Jake's shorts and boxers as she went, and laid them on the counter in a neat pile. I hobbled pathetically to the table to sit.

"I've got plenty of Band-Aids." she said, more to herself than to me. Her long, straight black hair fell neatly down her back and I envied it. "Is it a bad cut?"

I held up my foot. After examining it for a moment, she decided differently. "Better get the gauze."

I tried to convince her I could do it myself – I'd bandaged my own wounds on plenty of occasions – but she insisted. "I like taking care of things like this." She said. "And I never get to anymore. You know how fast those wolves heal. It's ridiculous." Humming, she cleaned my foot with a towel, wrapping it gently in cloth.

"What time is it?" I asked as she put away the medical supplies.

"4:30am."

No wonder I was so tired. Emily glanced at me from over her shoulder. "Why don't you go take a nap? Jared's hogging the couch, of course, but there's a nice chair in there, too…"

I couldn't pass the offer up.

* * *

***Sam POV***

The woods were eerily still. No leaves rustled, the wind was silent, the air still. The wolves stood in a circle, deep within the forest, edgy and tense.

"What happened earlier can never happen again. We allowed Victoria to have the upper hand. Someone's gonna get killed if we don't step it up." I growled. The pack nodded.

"We have to hold better ranks, run faster, concentrate harder. Be more dedicated. Being a part of this pack means putting it first. You're protecting people that can't protect themselves, and our ancestors have passed down to us the ability to hold our ground – we have to take advantage of that."

There was solemn agreement among the rest of wolves.

"Paul, Quil and I will take the defensive edge on the far right, closer to Forks. Jacob, you'll take Leah and Embry southwest, closer to La Push. We'll stay in ranks until we figure out a schedule. The only problem is that we don't know how soon she…or they…will be back. We could be in for a long wait."

I saw a flash of Jacob's disgruntled thoughts of being stuck with Leah, but he controlled it enough so I was the only one to catch it. For good measure, I threw out an extra warning. "We're in the middle of a serious situation. Now is not the time to argue among ourselves. United front. Untied pack."

Again, they nodded in response. The pack was stiff. I could feel the growing tension.

"Keep your senses ready for unknown trails. We don't know what we're dealing with yet."

Paul, Quil and I took off and Jake's group followed suit. The stress of everything was getting to me. I was still rattled by the slip up, but I knew how to hide it. Alpha mind lock down. My thoughts were private when I wanted them to be.

It hadn't been long, much shorter than I had expected, before the adrenaline picked up again. A spike of horrible scent hit my nose, but it wasn't from my end, and I staggered. I knew what was coming before anything was said.

_They're coming back,_ Jake said. His group split in thirds, neatly, quickly, without hesitation. Like a machine. Their gaps were precise. 2 miles apart exactly. Jake knew how to lead. Naturally.

_There's two,_ he communicated, throwing as much information my way as he could. His mind was racing. Direction. Speed calculations. Tracking strategy. Second-in-command instructions to his team.

I dove into my instinct and Alpha nature, planting my feet firmly on the ground and blocking out all other distractions. I could sense what he could, feel what he could. I could all but see straight out of his eyes.

Leah had taken a trail on the left. She was hot on it. Jake tore up the middle. Embry had taken right. His trail smelled like Victoria's. I wished Jake or Leah had taken it instead. They were faster. Had better judgment.

_I'm watching him,_ Jake assured me. I knew he would.

They sprinted, tearing through the forest, teeth snarling. My team stood guard, back towards La Push, protecting out tribe and family. We were ready in case the enemy turned our way.

Leah's left trail had run dry quickly. The unknown had taken to the trees. Victoria had cut northwest and taken to water. A frustrating, cowardly retreat.

_Paul,_ I commanded. _Run north. Do a quick sweep –one hundred and fifty mile radius. Go._

He took off. Quil adjusted to fix the gaps. Jake's team reset, positioning themselves to protect Forks, sprinting along the forest's jagged edges.

Everyone was tense and aggravated. Victoria and her friend were playing games and testing the waters. There wasn't much we could do with that. It was obvious she didn't want a real confrontation. She just wanted to run us out.

Paul reported back._ Two more trails. Here. Leading west to La Push. _

_How far out are you, _Jake asked.

_Eighty-nine. _

_Wait, towards La Push? _Jake interjected. His footing stumbled and he slowed a bit.

_Focus, Jake. Handle your own team_.

He ran faster.

Quil and I still stood in front of Forks. If Paul was right, they were running straight towards us.

_These trails are new,_ Paul said, sprinting along them. _They're being left now._

Live trails.

_It's not Victoria. Or her friend. _Paul huffed._ Their trails aren't straight. They're wandering a bit. They remind me of… but it wouldn't be. _I racked my brain. Four vampires. Six wolves. We still had the numbers.

Embry's senses were pricked. _Victoria. Circling back. _

He set off at a racing pace, dodging trees. Everything was a surreal, green blur. Nothing mattered but the scent and the hunt and the capture. Complete animalistic instinct. But I couldn't stay tapped into his senses for long. I had two bloodsuckers sprinting at me. They should be here any second.

Jake hit the ground running full out seconds after Embry took off. _Her friend is back._ _Leah, go with Embry._

_You just want this all to yourself so you can look like a hero!_ She whined.

_LEAH, _I roared. I'd had enough. _Are you KIDDING me? Take this seriously for once! Go with Embry_, I she had no choice.

My head was filled with the thuds of twenty-four paws slapping the earth at top speed. The noise was deafening and exhilarating. We were all running. All ready.

_Two heading southwest, straight for you, Sam. _

I braced myself as if for impact. Quil followed my lead.

_They're picking up speed, _he reported._ Running side by side. Their trails are hard to separate, but I know there's two. I smell both. _

The wind picked up and carried there scent to where I stood, mercilessly slapping me in the face with it. Quil staggered backwards and his eyes watered.

_Stand your ground, _I ordered, though I knew the burning sensation he was now feeling quite well.

They was close. I could feel the vibrations of their feet through the ground though they were barely touching it. I did as best as I could to block out the other team's chase. I had to focus here now. Jake could handle his team fine without me.

Alice and Emmett Cullen were crouched before me, white skin glistening and golden eyes shining through the darkness.

_They're back. _

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	22. The Cullens

This chapter is insane and chaotic and crazy and there are SO many things going on. The life of a wolf is hectic. Probably took a solid 6 hours to write.

I hope you all can keep up :) Things are getting serious. **REVIEW! The more reviews I get, the faster I write. **

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JB 22 – THE CULLENS

A surge of absolute rage rippled through Jacob Black's body. It was so strong that it rocked my body and blurred my vision. I dug my feet down further into the moist earth to keep from being knocked down by his sheer emotion.

But he was miles away, surging down a trail I assumed would now be lost. It was I that was standing here face to face with two vampires formerly bound by a treaty to stay off of our land. As they had left, the treaty had been nullified. Made void. They were now my enemies. I crouched and snarled, thinking of advancing. I could feel Quil shaking with fury and hatred.

At the same time, something took place that scattered all our thoughts and staggered all our steps. Seth Clearwater was changing. The sudden proximity of multiple vampires had triggered the gene. There was no way it could be stopped. He was inside his bedroom, asleep. His body began to rock with convulsions, like he was having a seizure. His frame exploded, tripling in size, his few hands and feet flailing and destroying his small room. His head was trashing back and forth. He was going to injure himself. I could feel his agony. His confusion. His terror.

Leah screamed. _No!_

He's only fifteen. This shouldn't be happening.

_Leah,_ I ordered. _Go to him!_

_We're not sending Leah,_ Embry yelled. _He needs help!_

_Shut up, Embry! Leah, go! _

_Seth. Seth. Calm down, _I tried to coax him._ Leah's coming. Leah will help you. You're part of the pack now. The Protectors. It's going to be okay. _

He had no coherent thoughts. He couldn't respond. All there was was pain.

I had to focus on where I was. Too much going on at once. Focus. Focus.

Jake, I ordered. Talk to Seth. He looks up to you. He needs you. Explain to him. Coach him through til Leah gets there.

But Jacob wasn't thinking either. His mind was blank. His pain and agony mirrored Seth's – but for a different cause.

_I'll do it, _Paul said.I nodded.

I had to focus on where I was. The task at hand. I'd never handled this much at once in all my time of being Alpha. Seth changing. Jake going mad. Two vampires stood before me. I blocked out everything else and focused on that.

The bigger one, Emmett, stepped forward with his palms up towards me in a gesture of surrender. I did not relax. I would not let my guard down.

"We're just here to talk, buddy. No fight."

I growled. His body instinctively tried to throw him into a crouch – a defensive stance for fighting – but he fought it off with what seemed like great difficultly.

"We need to tell you some stuff." He continued in a deep voice. "Things you'll probably want to hear."

_Want to hear?_ Quil commented. _Their voices are like razors in my ears._

_Quiet, kid._ I ordered.

Even at a time like this I couldn't help but notice what he was wearing: designer jeans with a wide leather belt, a white long-sleeve t-shirt with buttons near the collar and a baseball cap. His shoes were nearly spotless – probably only a few days old. He had a black band around his wrist with a coat of arms engraved on it.

His sister, too, was well dressed. Ridiculously so, if you ask me. Super tight jeans with knee-high leather boots under a long dress kind of shirt – I think Emily would call it a "tunic"- with a belt around the middle. She had a dainty necklace on, too, that matched her brothers wristband. Who wears this stuff to run through the forest? Who were they trying to impress?

The little one, Alice, skipped around her brother like a fairy. It made my stomach turn. Her dainty appearance and girlish manner wouldn't fool me. She was my enemy. I didn't like her getting so. I stepped back and growled again.

"We have information for you." She said. "Valuable information. It'll help you."

_We don't need your help!_ Quil snarled. I could see his knees were a little weak. This was the first transformation he'd experienced from the inside. I knew it was hard.

_Shut up,_ I ordered again. No one could be weak now.

"If you were human," she mused, "we could talk."

I barked at her. No way would I phase back with her here. Taking down your armor in front of the enemy? Worst idea I've ever heard.

"Hmph," she said, twirling on the ball of her feet. "Well, I guess you don't want our help with Victoria, then?"

Help?

"We know she's here. We've been keeping tabs on her, too. From British Colombia. Her and her accomplice, Riley."

Riley? Quil glanced at me.

_Don't do anything yet,_ I commanded. I could tell he was anxious, itching for a fight.

"Like she said," Emmett interjected. "You phase and we'll talk."

I shook my head. No way.

"Fine," Alice said, taking a step backwards. "We'll leave. Good luck, though." She flashed her teeth in a smile that made my spine shiver. "There's an army coming."

A gust of cold wind, a blur, and they were gone.

_WAIT!_ Quil yelled. Before I could stop him, he was stepping forward, phasing as he went.

_NO!_ I screamed. But it was too late.

Alice was back before I could blink. I dove between the two – Quil now foolishly defenseless in a forest full of vampires. She stood, ignoring me, looking around me to Quil, who was standing naked, shaking from head to toe but trying desperately to fight off the phase.

"Smart move," her high-pitched voice sounded.

"What army?" he choked out.

"We have to talk to the _Alpha,_" she emphasized. "You'll need to convince him. These moral-enemy treaties are not to be taken lightly. I'll go back and get the rest. When we come back, if he's phased, we'll talk."

"The rest?" he asked through his convulsions.

"My family, of course." Her eyes glinted in the moonlight. Wind. Blur. Gone.

Now that she was gone, Quil gave way to his convulsions, throwing himself right into the midst of my in-head admonishment.

_What was that? You could've been killed! Don't ever phase out in the presence of a vampire – Cullen or not! You're going to put the whole pack in jeopardy with that kind of reckless behavior! Don't ever put yourself in that kind of danger again, do you hear me?_

My thoughts were interrupted by another furious wave of emotion from Jake. Anger. Hatred. Disbelief. He was closer now. He'd totally abandoned his trail.

_Victoria caught whiff of Alice and bolted,_ Embry spat out. He and Leah were barreling our way.

_They're all coming._ I informed them. _The Cullens._ _All of them._

_How many is that? Eight? Nine?_

_If all of them come,_ I answered solemnly, _its seven._ Seven to seven. If Victoria and her friend returned, seven to nine. Either way, we did not have the upper hand.

_I lost track of Quil's thoughts for a second. Is he alright?_

_Yeah,_ I spat, irritated. _He phased out_.

_Phased out? What the h-_

_Yeah, I know, I know._ Quil responded_. Give it a rest, Embry._

_Shut it, everyone. Hurry up and get here. They should be here any second. _

Jacob was first to arrive. His eyes were wild. His body was shaking. Paul nudged him in the side with his head to get him to calm down.

I briefly tuned in to Paul's thoughts. I caught him in the middle of an explanation to Seth. _All the legends are true. A few members of the tribe have the gene. As your sister very obviously has it, it doesn't surprise us that you have it too... _

That was the brilliant thing about wolves. They could be, at times, extremely gifted multi-taskers.

Embry arrived second, nearly winded, and took his usual spot on the left of Quil.

Paul's explanation continued… _The Cullens are coming back. We're waiting for them. Vampires are our mortal enemies. It's our job to protect the tribe and the land. The pain you feel now will subside. You'll be able to change back as soon as your body adjusts to this phase. For Quil it took a few days. For Jacob only a few hours. We suspect it won't take you long…. _

Leah arrived last, walking close to Seth, looking clearly peeved, and sat herself down heavily on the outskirts of the circled. Seth took his spot next to Paul. His whole body was shaking. Small whimpers were escaping from this throat. Paul lifted up a heavy and pat him on the back. _Welcome to the pack._

I regretted that the usual formalities could not be upheld at the moment. We were in the middle of a crisis. Seth, poor guy, was in the middle of a crisis in the middle of a crisis. I tried to clear my head. _No one is to phase out unless I order it. _

After my final order, we waited in silence.

I t wasn't long before the Cullens started to arrive, one by one, lining themselves up to mirror our half-moon position. Carlisle arrived first, obviously their leader, followed by the rest. Their pale skin was stark white. Tiny beams of light from the moon refracted off their skin and into the night. Seth staggered slightly at the unexpected, blinding sting in his nose.

_Hold your ground as best you can, bud. _He tried to shake it off.

Embry Quil Sam Jacob Paul Seth Leah.

Alice Jasper Carlisle Esme Emmett.

Seven to five. Excellent.

_Where are the rest? _Jake questioned. _Keep your eyes opened. Edward and the blonde should be with them, too._

Silence. No one advanced. No one moved. The minutes ticked by.

Alice threw her dainty arms out in exasperation. "Is he going to talk us?"

Carlisle held out his hand to signal his need for her patience.

"Sam," he said, stepping forward to represent his family. "We need to negotiate. Realign the treaty. We can't do that without someone phasing. There's not a translator."

_Lemme do it, _Jake barked, a low rumbling emitting from his throat._ I'll handle it._

_No, Jake_. I objected._ You're too emotionally involved. _

_Sam, I know more about them than anyone else here. Let me talk to them._

_He's right, _Paul vied_. If the Cullens still care about Bella, they wouldn't hurt Jake. He's probably the safest bet. _

_They left. They don't care. _

_There's a chance they still do. We'll never know if we can't talk to them. _

I huffed._ We'd have to phase. There was no other option._

_Jacob and I will phase. No one else phases unless I order it. Understood?_

Five of the six wolves nodded. I ignored the blatant insubordination from everyone's favorite pack member.

Jake and I phased simultaneously and the rest of the pack took a defensive stance around us for our protection.

"Where are the others?" Jake asked first. "Why aren't they here?"

"Edward's in Germany." Carlisle supplied calmly. "He's not here."

Jake was shaking. I let him talk. "Well is he coming back? How long until he's here?"

Carlisle shook his head. "He's not coming back."

Jacob looked skeptical. "What about the blonde? Is she hiding out in the woods? Looking for a weak spot?"

"No," their leader said, shaking his head again. "Rosalie isn't here. She chose to stay behind. Werewolves aren't her favorite."

Jake snorted. "I always knew she was a-"

"Hey now," Emmett interrupted, squaring his shoulders and stepped forward. "Let's not make this too personal."

Paul stepped forward, too, out of rank.

"Paul," I said warningly. He scratched the ground menacingly, but stepped backwards.

Ignoring the exchange, Jake continued. "What battle?" Jake spat. "Why are you here?"

Alice stepped forward now. "Like I said. There's an army coming."

"An army? What army?"

"Victoria's army. I've been watching her. She's working in Seattle. Creating newborns to fight for her with the help of her accomplice, Riley."

"Newborns?" I asked.

Carlisle nodded. "New vampires. It's a term to call humans who have just recently been transformed. It's during this time that they're wildest – the most untamed – and the strongest."

"And she's building an army of them? Why?"

"To get to Bella." She answered, locking eyes with Jake.

"Enough!" Some screamed. I'd been so distracted by the Cullens that I hadn't noticed her phasing. Leah. "I won't fight for your girlfriend anymore, Jacob."

He turned sideways, keeping part of his front facing the bloodsuckers, and glared at her. "This isn't Bella's fault." He was shivering. "Don't you dare blame her for this."

"Didn't you hear them?" she yelled back, nearing hysterics. "She's the reason Victoria's building an army. How can I not blame her when it's her fault? And you! For falling in love with someone so heavily tied to our enemy!"

His eyes were turning black with wrath. "_Shut up,_ Leah!"

"The whole reason we're even werewolves is because of her. If you missed it, my brother just phased and he's only fifteen. Do you think he deserved that? If Bella hadn't gotten involved with Edward, they would've left already. They'd be gone! None of this would've happened!"

Jake was shaking his head back and forth, fighting his body's convulsions. "You're wrong."

"Leah," I warned. "Phase back and fall in."

"No."

"I won't have you tearing this pack apart. This is our brotherhood. You either fall in or get out. Understand? I will not stand for you recklessly endangering the pack- putting the whole tribe at as consequence – for your own selfish insecurities. Fall in, Leah. I won't make you stay, but I can sure make you leave."

She took a step backwards, turned, and stalked off. Seth's mouth fell open. I couldn't read his thoughts; they were too clouded with physical pain. What had shocked him more? His sister's desertion or the sight of her naked?

The pack was silent. "Embry," I ordered aloud. "Go get Jared." We couldn't let our numbers dwindle before the enemy.

He nodded and sprinted away.

I looked back at the Cullens.

"From the looks of it," Emmett daunted, smiling, "You're going to need more of our help than we thought. Can't even keep your own family together."

Jacob lunged and grabbed Emmett around the neck with his hand. Emmett, bearing his teeth, pushed him off hard. A cracking sound reverberated through the forest. Hisses from the vampires ensued, followed by snarls and menacing growls from our side. Jacob clutched his shoulder and lunged again, but before he could reach them, Paul barreled into his side and knocked him into a tree.

Emmett brushed off his shirt. "It's a little messy out here, I see. Good place for dogs."

"Shove it, Emmett." Jacob spat, picking himself up off the ground. "Don't you ever talk about our family that way – seeing that part of yours is in Germany and another part too selfish to join you."

He held his hands up again in surrender, "Fair enough."

"Can we hurry this up?" Alice chimed in. "I'd like to go shopping before the sun comes out."

"If everyone calms down," instigated Carlisle, "Maybe we can get something done."

The clan and pack went silent.

"Victoria is building an army of newborns. She's coming here, hoping to take down your defenses, and get to Bella. These are facts. What we don't know is how many newborns she's gained and how many she'll have when she decided to bring them here. They tend to turn on each other."

Paul snorted.

"We're offering our services," Carlisle continued, "Because we care about Bella's safety and the well-being of your tribe as well as the people of Forks. You're welcome to deny our assistance, but we strongly encourage you think hard about your decision before doing so. At the moment she has seventeen newborns. There could be as many as thirty by the time she decides to attack."

There was a murmur among the pack. Thirty. Too many for us to handle alone.

"We accept your offer for help." I answered for the pack.

"We still care about Bella," Esme alleged. "We'd love to see her again."

"NO!" Jacob screamed, shaking uncontrollably. "I won't let you see her. She can't ever know you've been here. Your family destroyed her. I won't let you damage her again."

Esme looked hurt, but Carlisle nodded. "Understood. Now let's discuss strategy."

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***Bella's POV***

It still wasn't morning when I was woken up again. I groaned when the light was flipped on.

"JARED!" someone screamed. My eyes flew open. "Jared, wake up!"

It was Embry. Gah, we were just not destined to be friends tonight.

"Jared." I heard a few slaps of skin on skin and pictured Embry rapping Jared on the face. "Get up, now. We need you."

They needed Jared? I rolled over and opened my eyes, squinting in the harsh light.

He turned to look at me and I realized he wasn't dressed. At all. I dropped my gaze, mortified. It was too late for me to feign sleep. He didn't seem embarrassed. He stood before me like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

"He wont wake up," he said desperately. How was that my problem?

"Just hit him, Embry."

He looked down at Jared, hesitated for a split second, and nailed him in the stomach.

"_Shhh_-" he yelled, curling up in a ball on the couch. "What are you _doing?_"

"Sam sent for you." He said briskly. "We need backup."

Backup? I tried to fight off the drowsiness pulling down my eyelids.

Jared flung his feet off the side of the bed, still doubled over from the punch. "You have to be careful about my ribs, man. They're not all the way healed."

"We don't have time to be careful. Leah deserted. We don't have enough."

He looked up, angry. "That selfish, sorry excuse for a-"

"Yeah, yeah, Jared. We got it. Now come on!"

Embry grabbed him under the arm to help him up. I sat up in the chair, watching. I hadn't seen Jared upright in weeks. I hoped he didn't hurt himself. After a few grunts and moans and weak stretches, Jared stood upright on his own.

"Good. Can you phase?"

Jared shook his head. "I tried last night, remember? I couldn't do it."

"Alright. We'll walk then. You can walk, right?"

"I can try. Why do you need numbers?"

I allowed my gaze to leave the floor. Embry looked at me – square in the face – and back at Jared. "I can't say."

With mutual understanding – I was no to know what was going on – they nodded to each other and headed for the door. Emily ran down for the second time tonight, looking flustered. "Embry! What- you're taking Jared?"

"Sorry Emily, no time to explain. Gotta run."

"If you don't bring Jared back in one piece I'll kill you!" she yelled.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine."

Embry walked past me, patted me on the head affectionately, and phased as soon as his feet hit the earth outside Emily's house. Jared followed, limping slightly, but seeming determined to hold his own weight.

I look at Emily, worried, and she closed her eyes. "Washilli riklo'wa." She turned and went back into her room.

I didn't know what that meant, but I identified in the exhaustion and bewilderment in her voice as she said it. I laid back down and counted tonight's sleep a loss.

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***Sam's POV***

From the left, Jared and Embry returned.

Jared was fully clothed, walking slowly, limping slightly and gingerly holding his ribs. "Gah, Embry, if it was anyone else waking me up in the middle of the night I wouldn't have trounced all the way out here when I can't even phase." He laughed. "By the way, you absolutely reek. Have you guys gotten that close to Victoria? Dang. I'm missing all the action. Anyway, you never even told me why we're –"

He stopped dead when he came to the edge of the circle and saw the five ominous vampires.

For the second time today, an involuntary transformation occurred. Jared's body shook and rocked fiercely. He backed himself back up against a tree, trying to steady himself, but cried out in pain when his shifting body pressed and pulled and his barely restored ribs and healing fractures. Whipping his neck back, his veins popped out and his eyes closed. Excruciatingly, frenziedly, he let out an inhuman howl that pricks all of our senses.

His skin started to tear at the seams. He was changing, and his body wasn't ready. There was nothing I could do. Nothing any of us could do. Desperate, I turned my back to the enemy.

"What else can go wrong?" I yelled, phasing immediately, afraid his unintentional attack would break the newly formed treaty.

His body, transformed, thrashed on the ground. I got on top of him, holding him down as best I could, afraid he would hurt himself further by stressing his previous injuries. Not like the phasing hadn't already torn him to pieces. We'd be lucky if it didn't set him back a whole month.

_You didn't warn him?_ Paul asked Embry, dismayed.

Embry was too shocked to respond.

I could hear Seth crying in the background, finally succumbing to his initial transformation pain in the midst of all the chaos. Leah was gone. She wasn't coming back. I'd lost touch with her thoughts completely. Jacob was fighting verbally with the Cullens. Embry was in shock. Jared was seizing underneath me. No one was concentrating on Victoria anymore. No one knew where she was. I didn't sign up for this at all. This had been the worst night as a wolf in my entire life. I thought my body would explode from stress.

Slowly, gradually, his seizures subsided. The surprise of the vampires – five of them – had caused his body to morph without warning. It's generally a useful instinct, meant to protect you if you stumbled into a situation with vampires unaware, but because Jared hadn't transformed in months and his body was weak, I imagine the pain he was feeling was equal to or worse than that of Seth after his first-time transformation. He was panting, groaning, but the seizures had stopped. I got up, leaving him on the ground, and turned back to face the Cullens, almost ashamed of the chaos that had ensued before them. Bitter, too, and angry – because it was their fault.

Phasing back, I trembled, stepping forward. "We're not used to having so many enemies on our home ground at one time. You'll have to excuse the consequent glitches."

Carlisle nodded, never losing his professionalism, though certain members of his family appeared shocked and appalled. "We realize we've caught you at a horrible time, but we felt this couldn't wait. We'll come back at a more appropriate hour. We'll send Alice ahead with an announcement of our arrival, as so not to alarm your pack."

They retreated, heading north at full speed, leaving our pack in pieces. Hatred boiled up in me. I had to remind myself that it was better all of this happen now, under the treaty, than when Victoria's army arrived.

I knew when Jake left to follow them, felt his phase, but I was so wrapped up in Jared's pain that I didn't stop him. I wondered how much more damage our family would suffer tonight.

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***Jacob's POV***

I was getting closer to them. I knew they could hear me coming. They'd only left seconds before me. But I couldn't call out to them. Not in this forsaken body.

Taking a chance, praying the treaty would hold, I phased out, leaving myself totally vulnerable. Sam would kill me.

"Hey!" I called. I knew they would hear me. "I have a question for you!"

I waited. The forest was still. They'd kept running. Had they even slowed down? Maybe their hearing wasn't at pristine as I'd been lead to believe.

The sky was getting lighter. It was almost morning. Maybe they had to go back into hiding?

"Hey!" I called again. "Come talk to me! It's…it's Jacob!" I felt really stupid yelling into the forest like this. There was nothing around here besides moss and ferns.

I was just about to turn, to go back and help with Seth and Jared, when someone showed up. The pixie-looking one with the ridiculous boots. I was glad Bella didn't try to dress like her – all fancy. I liked that she wore jackets and jeans. Simplicity went a long way with me.

"Your question?" she asked, disapproving of my obvious scrutiny.

"How does your family even know Bella's here? Still in Forks, I mean. How do you know she hasn't gone back to Jacksonville. Or Phoenix."

Alice stepped forward, curtseying. "Me, of course." She tapped her temple. "I can see the future. Visions. Of course, I can't see anything having to do with _werewolves_." She crossed her arms. "A minor downfall."

"You shouldn't ever be able to see her. She's always with us. With me."

"Well," she explained, "I can't see her the majority of the time. That's true. But I can see glimpses. At work when she's with that boy from her school or if she's home alone with Charlie. Enough to know where she is."

"I don't like you stalking her like that." Jake growled.

Alice shrugged. "Tough," she said sweetly and turned to leave. Her graceful movements were sickening.

She sprinted away in a blur. I followed. I wasn't done. "Wait!"

I phased long enough to get close to her while she was running, and phased out just as I got into arms length. I stuck my arm out, flying through the air by the force of the phase, and managed to get a hold of her shoulder.

She let out a hiss and threw my arm off. "Don't touch me, mutt!"

"Believe me, I'd rather not." I planted my feet and squared my shoulder. "I don't want any part of your family around Bella. Got that? No contact. I don't even want her to know you guys still exist."

"So you're going to lie to her?"

"Yeah, I am. If I have to."

She squinted her eyes at me. "Why do you care?"

"I love her. And every mention of your family hurts her." I drew a deep breath. "Especially of your brother, Edward. You know, the one that _deserted_ her?"

Her face went stone cold. "He deserted us, too, you know."

"Just keep him away from here. From her." I'd kill him if I saw him.

"Fine," she said, turning up her nose at me.

"Good."

"Is that all then? I'd really like to get going."

I nodded. That's all.


	23. Normal Life

**So busy. Harry Potter had momentarily taken over my life. But back to Jacob :) **

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CHP 23 – NORMAL LIFE

***Bella's POV***

Jacob didn't tell me much of what had happened. He said Victoria was getting closer –smarter – and was bringing a friend with her – a replacement for James and Laurent. He also told me not to worry, because the wolves were taking extra precautions. Six of the seven wolves would be patrolling every night, five of the seven every day. That meant they got very, very little sleep. Their bodies were adapting to the strain, but I could tell by the looks in their eyes, especially in Jared's and Seth's, that they were exhausted.

Emily tried to keep me distracted. She seemed willing to do it – we'd become good friends – but I had a strong feeling Sam or Jake had asked her to make sure I stayed busy. We tried out more new recipes and watched a few movies. On Saturday, Paul and Sam escorted us to Goodwill where we could find some cheap pants for the pack. We bought twelve pairs – totaling less than twenty dollars – and cut them off to turn them into shorts. The pack went through clothes like wildfire. Every guy was on his last pair of shorts and half of them no longer had tennis shoes.

Seth was adjusting quickly. Despite his shaky, untimely entrance, it had taken him only three days to find the strength to change back. The shock of Leah desertion had really rattled him. No one mentioned her. It was like her name had become taboo. Seth had really taken a liking to Jake – he followed him around and all but idolized him. Jake was a good sport about it. He had been so far, at least.

It upset me when Seth dropped out of school. He's only fifteen. All the other boys had opted out, too, and had gotten their GEDs. It hadn't seemed as drastic for the older boys as it had for him. Sam and Paul had finished high school before their first phasing; the others hadn't been as lucky. Even if I hadn't been thrilled when Jake told me of his plans to vacate, I'd seen him struggle to keep up and with the increase in scheduling I knew it would've been impossible. Still, in this day and age it seemed like a waste to have a bunch of bright high school boys being drop outs.

And poor Jared. The pack had told me that he'd phased in the woods accidentally – though they didn't tell me what had caused it. Just the excitement of being in the forest against, I assumed. Emily nearly had a heart-attack when they'd carried him in. Unexpectedly, the phasing had rebooted his healing ability. Though initially it had been a setback, he seemed well-enough rejuvenated and was able to sit at the table with everyone at meal times and went out for his scheduled patrols –phased or not. Wolves were tough.

Quil spent the majority of his time with Clair. Naye loved Quil and brought Clair by the house occasionally. Watching them react was fascinating. She couldn't talk much, but it's like they had their own language. He understood her sometimes even when Naye couldn't decipher her whines. They were very clearly each others favorites. No one could interfere when they were together.

The Uley's place –though the pack still called it "Emily's" - had become my home. Charlie was fine. He spent a lot of time with Sue Clearwater. She'd had it rough these past few months. Harry had passed away form an unexpected heart attack. Leah had gone AWOL. Seth was now part of a "gang". I was glad Charlie was able to keep her company and also glad to have him on the reservation. Staying here was safer than staying at home.

And how could I lie and say Edward didn't still haunt me? Whenever I thought I was past it – when I thought I could stand on my own - I found that I couldn't ever be completely normal. No matter how hard I tried. I was broken. I could never be fixed. It was a horrible feeling. Enough to make anyone suicidal. Sometimes, I wondered where he was and what he was doing. At the same time I knew he'd never loved me. He was a liar. A jerk. He never loved me – that was obvious – and he never would. I was done with being pathetic and vying for his attention when he wasn't even here. It was hard. Exhausting. I desperately wished I had never met him. My family – Charlie, Jacob, the pack - wished the same.

But again, I had security in my new life. The pack did what they could to eclipse my nightmare past. Jacob with his warm hugs, infectious smile thawed my heart and his soft kisses made me forget the cold, unfeeling ones from the past. Seth with his energy and innocence made me smile. Jared with his jokes and Paul with his sarcasm had me laughing. Sam's stability and even-keeled temper kept me grounded. Quil and his rants about Clair and her every waking moment gave everyone a headache- but at least it was a distraction. Embry was my friend and always had been, no matter what. My new best friend Emily and her welcoming personality showed me I wasn't alone. She was one of the other girls I'd ever been able to connect with. She knew pain, too. I was comforted by that. All of them acted as a wall between me and the pain that had once led to my tragic demise. I'd like to see Edward get through _this _barrier.

Despite all this chaos, life had been pretty normal over the last week. I sat down for breakfast Sunday morning with the pack in high spirits. This morning, the crowd was Sam, Paul, Jacob, Jared, Seth. I smiled when I saw Seth could already eat as much as the rest of them. He could even give Paul a run for his money.

"Hach chi'I," Emily said cheerfully as she came down the stairs.

"Hach chi'I," the pack responded through mouthfuls of egg, strawberries and frozen waffles.

Seeing my confused expression, Jake leaned over and whispered, "It means good morning." I nodded. I needed to start learning Quileute.

"I can teach you some phrases if you'd like," he offered, reading my expression. "It'd be a hard language to pick up, though. It's nonsensical, really." He looked thoughtful as he shoved half an unpeeled peach into his mouth.

"We wouldn't be able to talk about her if she understood what we were saying," Jared joked. "What would be the fun in that?"

Jake smiled and nodded, "That's true."

"So you've been talking about me?" I asked Jake, smirking.

He opened his mouth to deny it, but Sam interrupted. "Only every other sentence."

I grimaced.

"We're joking, Bells! Lighten up!" Jared laughed. I blushed. Jacob leaned over and gave me a swift kiss on the forehead.

"Sam and I have an announcement," Emily said quietly, setting down a bowl of cut up pineapple. A rare moment of silence ensued as the wolves focused their attention to the Alpha and his wife.

"We're having a baby." She said, touching her stomach and smiling. Her eyes were shining and her skin glowed in contrast to her bright teeth.

The pack exploded. Sam was beaming. Jared was clapping. Paul and Seth were exchanging money across the table, Paul yelling, "I told you!"

Jacob's face broke into a huge grin. He leaned back in his chair and let out a light, cheerful laugh I missed during the spouts of hard patrolling.

"Congratulations, both of you." I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. "That's really, really great."

"We have to pick a name!" shouted Jared.

"You have no say in the name," Sam interjected.

"Oh come on!" he argued. "The pack should vote."

Emily giggled and turned back to the counter to cut up more food. Somehow it managed to disappear even with all the conversation. Pursing her lips, she said, "You know what name Quil would vote for."

"Clair!" the pack laughed in unison.

"Exactly. The decision is mine," she said, smiling. "Bella can help, too, if she'd like. This is a girl's job."

"Of course I'll be getting a say, too." Sam voiced, biting off half a sesame bagel.

"Sure, Sam," Emily said, winking at me. I smiled back, honored that she would let me help.

"What I can't wrap my mind around," Paul murmured through a mouthful, "Is how you found time to get it on when the rest of us are busting butt on patrols!"

Knowing what was coming, I ducked behind Jake's arm to avoid the mini food fight destined to ensue. Laughing, Jake scooted his chair back and laced his fingers through mine. "Wanna go for a walk?" I nodded.

Times like these – walking across the sandy beach in jeans, boots and a sweater – that made me miss the heat of Arizona. I was beginning to think I'd never don another bathing suit in my lifetime. Not that I particularly minded. Bearing skin was not my forte. But I did miss the heat of the sun. And the vitamin D.

"So," said Jake, swinging my arm with his hand grasping mind. "We'll have a baby in the family in a few months."

I smiled. "Pack life is never dull."

He nodded, watching his own feet. "You got that right."

We walked in silence for a little while. I watched the piles of driftwood as they passed and saw shapes in their bone-white skeletons. It was morbid, in a way, but beautiful. IN a way they made the icy beach look more alive.

Jake glanced sideways at me, slowing the swing of our arms. "Have you ever thought about it?"

"About what," I asked.

"About having kids. Have you thought about it?"

I laughed uncomfortably, keeping my eyes on the ground. "What kind of question is that, Jake?"

He shrugged, still watching me from the corner of his eye. "I'm just curious. You don't have to answer."

I swallowed. "Um, I've thought about it, yeah."

"And?" he pressed.

"Someday, maybe. Not now. Not soon."

He nodded. "But someday, maybe."

I nodded, too. "Maybe."

We walked a little ways, leaving footprints in the sand. "I'd like to have kids someday. When the pack life calms down."

I didn't know what to say. He shoved me playfully. "Lighten up, Bells. We're only talking."

_About having kids._ "I know."

"If it makes you uncomfortable…"

I shrugged. He squeezed my hand gently and sighed. "Are you ready for graduation?"

This topic wasn't much better.

* * *

"Oh my word. Bella. Graduation. Three weeks!" Jessica squealed, clapping her hands together and bouncing on her toes. I shoved my hands into my pockets and waited for the guy in front of me to move ahead in the lunch line.

"Yeah, I know," I mumbled.

"Well don't sound so excited! Have I told you what I'm wearing? It took me, like, a solid month to pick it out, but I think I've totally got the perfect outfit now. Angela helped a little. Well, I mean, like, she recommended some things. I'm so excited. Okay, so, it's white with cap sleeves and-"

"Um, Jessica?"

"It's got tiny blue flowers all over it. I wanna say it's floral. And I mean technically it's totally floral. But in a way it's totally not, you know? Floral is so grandma. This dress is hott. So like it's a scoop neck. It makes my boobs look good, which is like super important."

"Jessica."

"For the shoes? Oh wow. That was a tough decision! I mean you'd think it wouldn't be cause it's not life or death but, you never know, I might trip and die if I choose the wrong ones so I guess it is life or death if you really think about it. But I went with a nude, peep-toe heel with-"

"Jessica! I know. You told me. Twice."

"No, no! I told you about my second choice. That was so Monday, Bella! I changed my mind, remember? This is my real choice."

"I'm almost positive you've already told me all of this."

She rolled her eyes. "Bella, this is important! Have you even picked out your outfit? It's crucial!"

I wished the guy in front of me would hurry up. How hard is it to pick out a side item? Apple or orange. Pick one. Move on.

"Umm, no, not yet." Here it comes…

"WHAT? Bella. Please tell me you're joking."

"I'll come up with something," I murmured.

"You only have three weeks! That's hardly enough time to decide on your hairstyle!"

"Won't we be wearing caps?" I picked up some celery and set it on my tray, lining it up meticulously with the milk carton.

"Bella," Jessica admonished, beyond exasperated. "You have to take off your cap at the end! That's the last time these people will ever see you! OH my word. You clearly do not understand the cruciality of hair and makeup."

_Cruciality?_ I sighed. "Honestly, Jess, I wasn't really planning on wearing makeup…"

She slammed her tray down on the counter. "What planet are you from? Okay. Okay. I'm setting up an intervention. Let me go get Lauren."

"No!" I called after her, grabbing her arm as she stalked away. "I'll wear makeup. Let's just keep Lauren out of this."

She flipped her hair and picked out a slice of pizza. "You are so not prepared."

"I know." Believe me. "I know."

"What have you even been doing these past months? Not preparing for graduation, obviously. But there can't be that much to do in La Push. It's just a beach and a bunch of locals. Not even a solid mall."

"Just hanging out with Jacob. A friend of mine on the reservation, Emily, is having a baby soon."

"OH my goodness. A baby? Is she having a baby shower? Please tell me there's going to be a shower!"

"Um...I don't know. I haven't heard anything."

She scoffed. "Well, are you her best friend?"

I thought about that a moment. Naye was a good friend, but she wasn't around nearly as often as I was. Sam was Emily's ultimate best friend, of course, but he was a man. "One of them, yeah."

"Well then you have to throw it for her, Bella! Don't you know how any of this works?"

I shook my head. _Come on, guy in front of me, move._

Jessica took a deep breath. "You are so, like, not even a girl. You are so lucky you have me. Call me after school and I'll give you the baby shower 411, okay?" I nodded obediently. What if Emily expected me to give her one and I didn't? Jessica was right. I knew nothing about this whole thing. Had I ever even been to a baby shower? This was going to be a disaster.

* * *

I showed up at Emily's around dinner time. She was sitting at the round, wooden table sipping something aromatic from a navy blue chipped mug. She looked as exhausted as I felt. I'd just spent the last two hours on the phone with Jessica. Her baby shower briefing was intense and fast. I jotted down some notes, wanting desperately to avoid having to ask her to repeat something. For the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I was glad Jessica knew the depths of the girl world. Baby showers sounded horrible to me, but if this is what friends did then I guess I have no choice.

Jessica said I should keep it a surprise. She also said a bunch of other things I'm going to politely discard without her knowing like the giant diaper tower and embarrassing sounding games. Just the bare essentials, I'd decided. And Emily was going to know. I hated surprised and thought Emily might, too.

"Emily?" I said, sitting down at the table next to her. "Is it okay if I, er, throw you a baby shower?"

She looked up at me, hand on her stomach. "Oh, you don't have to do that Bella..."

I swallowed. _Don't let yourself be talked out of this._ "No, really, Emily. I'd really, um, like to. It'll be fun."

Emily was glowing. "Well if you're sure! That sounds wonderful."

I tried to smile back. "I'll let you know the details later." Once I figure them out.

* * *

"Emily told me you were throwing her a baby shower!" Jacob said as we lounged on the couch. His calloused fingers ran gently through my hair as I leaned up against him. He sounded pleasantly surprised. Mostly surprised.

"Yeah," I told him. "It's true."

He kissed the top of my head. "That's really nice of you. Emily is already excited. Are you sure you can handle it?"

I nodded. "I'm going to keep it very, very simple."

He nodded, too. "She'll like that." Then his forehead creased, though I don't think he meant for me to see.

I looked up at him, concerned. "What?"

"Well…" he wavered, internally debating on whether or not to tell me. "Sam thinks the baby might be a werewolf. From birth."

I turned around to further face him. "What? How can…"

Jacob's face was wrought with concentration. "Sam's the Alpha. Wolf blood runs thickly through his veins. And with the v-" He stopped, his face going completely blank.

"What?" I pressed. "Jacob, what? Tell me!"

He shook his head, face remaining blank. "That's all. His blood is so thick that the baby really stand no chance at being full human."

"But… but Emily will be okay, right? She'll be fine."

"We think so. But no one knows for sure."

"What if the baby phases inside her?"

Jake's eyes grew wide. "We hadn't thought of that." He threw himself up off the ground, sending me toppling backwards against the pillows. "I've gotta run tell Sam. I'll be back."

I shook my head in disbelief. How could they not have thought about this? Now, not only was I worried over graduating and throwing a baby shower, but about Emily's safety and the safety of the baby that may or may not be a wolf. Would I ever have a normal life?


	24. Panic

**RULE #1: Stand up for your story. Be proud of it. What's yours is yours. Don't change it. **

**RULE #2: Never take criticism from someone who's never written their own story. **

I'm really enjoying this – more excitement to come! And of course, more of Jacob.

* * *

CHP 24 - PANIC

Emily was, for the remainder of her pregnancy, on lockdown. It still baffled me that the pack hadn't thought out the dangers of her birthing the Alpha's child – especially when they suspected it might be part of the pack straight off. Now that the pack was seriously considering the dangers of her mothering a wolf – one who could triple in size at the drop of a hat and potentially harm or kill Emily – everyone was very wary of the whole pregnancy. The tribe doctor, the one who had prescribed Jared his pain medications, stopped by to take a look. Everything appeared normal, she said, but Emily was to be kept out of stressful situations at all costs. Anything that could upset the baby or put a strain on Emily was a risk for both of them.

I was proud of Emily. When Sam told her she'd have to stop seeing her regular OB-GYN off the reservation, she wasn't upset. On the contrary, she seemed excited to be having the routine tests and checkups done at home. For the actual birth, she'd be taken to Forks Hospital. It was risky, but decidedly less risky than doing a home birth without proper medical care within reach in case something went wrong –excessive bleeding or stress on the baby. At the hospital, a C-section would be available in an emergency. The rest of the logistics would be worked out later on.

Jared, at my request, gave me a list of names and numbers of all the "hottest Quileute girls on and off the reservation" as he so classily put it. I'd really just asked him to give me the names of some of Emily's friends to invite to the shower. I wasn't sure if I'd gotten what I asked for. I was pretty sure I hadn't.

"Make sure you invite Sarah," he said, winking at me, "And tell her to drop by my place."

"Don't hold your breath, Jared. Does Emily even _know_ Sarah?"

"Well that's not really the point."

I took a black sharpie and crossed off Sarah. "Not happening."

"This baby shower is destined to be lame," he voiced.

"Good thing you're not invited." I shot back.

He flicked a pistachio at me, which somehow in my klutziness I managed to dodge. Jared pushed up from the table. Smacking Seth on the back of the head playfully, he made for the door. "Going to Kim's."

"Bye," Seth mumbled, smoothing the back of his back down again.

Once Jared was gone, I looked to Seth for help. "Do you know any of these girls?" I asked him, sliding the paper towards him.

"He wishes!" Paul called from the couch. I wondered why three wolves were off-duty today. Usually, all but two of the wolves run during the day. I was curious, but I'd learned not to ask too many questions. No one answered them honestly anyway.

The whole pack had been acting a little strange. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something felt different. For one, I didn't know why Jared was off patrol today. And as a whole I had noticed they'd been taking more frequent showers. Jake always took one immediately after coming off patrol – before ever saying hello. Not that I minded. Sometimes when he phased out he was covered in mud and dirt. Showers were good. Like I said, though. Things felt different.

"Just underline the ones you know," I said, ignoring Paul. "The ones that would be appropriate to invite to Emily's shower."

"No problem, Bella!" he smiled, eager to help. His tattoo – the pack mark – made him look older. No doubt it made him feel cooler. After a few minutes, he passed the list back. I scanned the sheet. I smiled when I realized he'd included in italics who they were and their relation to the pack.

Rachel and Rebecca Black. Jacob's sisters.

Sue and Leah Clearwater. Seth's mom and sister.

Mrs. Call. Embry's mom.

Naye and Clair. Quil's new family.

Mrs. Young. Emily's mom.

Mrs. Uley. Sam's mom.

Kim Connweller. Jared's imprint.

I grabbed his arm. "Jared's _imprint?_" I asked in a harsh whispered. If Seth had been a normal human, my grip on his arm would have hurt.

"As of yesterday. He went to school to turn in more dropout forms for me- leaving school is more of a pain than I thought it would be – and he ran into a senior girl he used to know there. The story is she always used to like him, but he never went back after he phased, so he never saw her. She was a year behind him, anyway. He imprinted hard. Just like that."

My face was white. My hands were cold. My heart was pumping fast. Everyone was imprinting. Jacob hadn't yet. He could. And it wouldn't be on me.

"Bella." Seth said, putting his hand on top of mine. "I know it doesn't look like it, but imprinting _is_ rare. Jacob won't imprint. He loves you. If he was going to, I would think he already would have, don't you? You don't have to worry."

I nodded. All of this coming from the mouth of a fifteen year old boy.

My eyes fell back down to the paper before me. _Jared's imprint._ I hadn't seen Jake yet today. I wondered if he planned to tell me when he saw me. Probably not.

Under Leah's name, Seth had scrawled a message in tiny handwriting: I know she's a pain in the butt to everyone but I think it would be nice if she was invited.

I smiled at him and patted him on the head. He really was beginning to be my little brother. "Don't worry, I'll invite her."

"Thanks," he whispered.

I needed to get out of here before I exploded . My head was spinning. Where was my resolve? Jake wasn't going to imprint, right? But Sam had imprinted on Emily. Quil had imprinted on Clair. Jared imprinted on Kim yesterday. Three out of eight, counting Leah. Thirty-eight percent. And I had a feeling they weren't finished.

I walked along the edge of the forest away from Emily's. A burning desire to talk to Jake seared my stomach and pounded in my chest. But he was on patrol. He wouldn't be back for eight hours at least. My palms were sweating. This was serious.

There was no way for me to get in touch with him. Jared had only imprinted yesterday, I knew that, but part of me felt like I should've been notified immediately. Jake should've told me. Warned me. I shouldn't have found out nonchalantly from Seth, though Seth probably delivered the news more gently than the others would have. He was, though the most recently changed, the least abrasive and the most sensitive. I hoped his constant phasing and the influences of aggressors like Paul wouldn't change him.

No matter what, I needed to talk to Jake now. I couldn't get the off-duty wolves to get him for me; They would think this was silly. I did the only thing I could do.

"JAKE!" I yelled into the trees. I felt stupid, but this was urgent. "JACOB BLACK! COME HERE,_ NOW_!"

I waited. No answer.

"DON'T PRETEND YOU CAN'T HEAR ME!" I screamed, though I wasn't sure if he could. He could be miles away.

Still no answer.

"JACOB BLACK!" I shouted hysterically, stomping my foot like a child. "ANSWER ME!" I was in full-fledged panic mode. Irrational, maybe. But real.

I heard a rustling to my right and turned. A wolf, not nearly as large as Jacob, stepped out from behind the trees.

"Embry?" I asked, aggravated. I couldn't quite tell them apart yet. Not in their wolf forms. But I knew enough to know that this was _not_ Jacob.

The wolf nodded. I let out an angry puff of air. "Where's Jacob?"

He gestured in a way I figured was meant to be a shrug.

"I need to talk to him." I said defiantly. "Can you go get him?"

He shook his head.

"And why not?"

He whined.

"Can't you phase out so I can talk to you? Normally?"

He shook his head no. I sighed. Alpha's order, I assumed. No phasing out on patrol.

"Fine, Embry. You don't have to help me. I'll just find him on my own." I stepped over a log and began to make my way through the trees. I knew it was stupid. And reckless. At the moment I didn't care that I was being rashly immature. Jacob and I had to talk.

Embry caught up easily, situated himself in front of me and sat down. Again, he shook his head.

"_Move_, Embry. I have to find Jake."

As I began to walk around him, he moved again to block my way.

"Look, I don't know what you're playing at but I'm really not in the mood for the whole Lassie routine right now, okay?"

He stood up, planted his feet and growled. I threw my hands up in the air. This was ridiculous. "_What,_ Embry?"

His face contorted with concentration. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but all that came out was a whine cut short by silence. Closing his eyes tight, he clamped his teeth together and breathed deeply. I watched, wary, knowing that if I'd pushed him too far I was in trouble.

After a few moments, he opened his eyes, looked into mine, sighed, and ran off into the forest.

That was weird.

I waited, unmoving, silent. Had he gone to get Jake? Had he run away in order to protect me from his anger? Had something happened to the pack? My brain told me to leave – to get out of the forest – but my feet were dead and unresponsive.

Suddenly, I was hit with a wave of a sickeningly sweet aroma. My heart stopped. My knees buckled.

To my left there was a gust of wind, low to the ground, distinguishing it from the usual gusts from the sky. Someone was moving. Fast. Someone was here.

It seemed colder all of a sudden. Surely I wasn't imagining that. The smell had lessened, diffused, but it was a scent I knew well. I could never forget it. It was burnt into my senses forever. Vampire.

My stomach knotted; my palms were ringing wet. Terror gripped every part of me. Fear trifled through my veins. I spun around, spanning the forest with my weak eyes, and saw a blur of white shift through the trees towards me. I let my lungs fill with cold air and let out a scream even louder than before.

My screech was cut short by a harsh barking noise. I spun around again, frantic. A large russet wolf stood before me, teeth barred.

"Jacob!" I cried, stepping towards him. He growled menacingly, crouching, taking a stance like he would before an enemy. My mouth dropped open. What was going on?

His eyes moved from me to search the forest around me. His eyes combed through the bark and moss. His senses secured the area. Frozen, I watched. Terrified, I remained still.

Relaxing, he turned his gaze back towards me. Letting out a puff of air, he turned his back towards me and started to walk away.

"Jacob!" I cried, hurt. "What's going on? I need to talk to you!"

He turned back, looking over his shoulder at me. His features projected anger.

"Please," I pleaded. All the urgency was gone. All that was left was fear.

He sighed, phasing in front of me. My emotions left no room for the shock I received from seeing his naked body. He hastily pulled on shorts – ones that I had made – and almost ripped them with the fast aggression with which he yanked them on.

"What do you think you're doing out here, Bella? You're putting yourself in danger – me in danger – the whole pack! Go home, Bella. Go to Emily's. Just get out of the friggin forest where you don't belong." He spat at me.

I was taken aback. Confused. He'd never talked to me like this before. Not since he first phased. He was shaking from head to toe – fighting his second nature.

"I needed to talk to you!"

"Well this isn't the right time, Bella! I'm _working_! I'm on patrol! I'm trying to protect you! You can't interfere with this kind of this – you'll get someone killed!"

"Why didn't you tell me Jared imprinted, huh?" His eyes locked on mine. "I found out from Seth this morning." The aggression was gone. Only grief.

"It only happened yesterday," he answered, monotone. "I haven't had time."

"Were you _ever _going to tell me?"

He didn't answer.

"You can't keep things like this from me! Aren't you bothered by this at all? Another member of the pack _imprinted_."

"What difference would telling you have made, Bella? I was trying to keep you from freaking out like this!"

"Is everything okay?" Seth asked, coming up behind me. "I heard screaming…"

Jake and I turned towards him simultaneously. "_Leave_, Seth!"

He held his hands up in surrender and turned back towards the forest outskirts.

Jake turned back to me, pained. "Look, Bells, I love you. I didn't want you to worry. I have…no control over this. Any of it. But it's the others that have imprinted, not me."

I crossed my arms, almost crying. "But what if you're next?"

"What's the point in worrying? I might be next, Bella. I might. I won't lie to you and say that there's no chance. But I can either continue on like I am – trying not to worry – or I can throw it all away on the off chance I _might_ imprint. What do you want me to do?"

"Just…." The words came out before I could stop them. "Just be _normal_! That's all I want!"

His face went blank. His eyes were void of emotion. He opened his mouth, lips parting, but no sound came out.

We stared at each other.

"I…I can't give you that. If that's what you want." He turned to leave.

I uncrossed my arms and followed him, reaching to grab his arm. "Wait-"

"Go home, Bella!" Aggressively, he turned, slapping my hand away with more force than necessary. It stung. Shocked, I cradled it against me and stepped back, looking up at him in alarm.

Seeing that he'd hurt me, his rage morphed into genuine concern. His face contorted with regret when I flinched as he reached for my arm.

"I…I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to..."

I nodded, staring at his chest. I couldn't look at his face.

Sighing, he put his hands on either side of my face – so gently that I could barely feel they were there. "What can I say to make you understand how dangerous this is? I'm not phased. I can't easily protect you. You're in the middle of a forest full of… you don't even know what's out there Bella."

I nodded again, at a loss for words.

Slowly, gently, testing the waters, he stepped closer to me. I closed my eyes. I felt his breath sliding off my flushing cheeks in balmy waves. A single tear slid down my face, following the waves of his breath, and touched his fingers. Lightly, softly, he brought his warm lips to mine. Pressing against them gently and pulling away, he whispered, "I really am sorry. It was a mistake."

I reached up on my toes, still cradling my arm, and kissed him back, letting him know I accepted his apology. In this moment I realized, too, that this may be the last kiss we ever share. He could open his eyes at any moment and see a gorgeous girl standing behind me. A lost hiker in the forest. A random girl that had lost her way. His imprint. A stranger to both me and him. And in that instant he would love her more than he could have ever loved me.

I slid my hands up to caress either side of his neck. My icy hands were thawed by his skin. Our lips joined and rejoined sweetly. Worry was drowned by kisses and anger by our gentle caress.

"JACOB!" the Alpha roared. "What the-"

We froze.

"Jacob," the Alpha voice rumbled menacingly. "Phase in, now."

He had no choice.

He took a few obedient steps back from me, shot me an apologetic look and phased. The rip of skin and the indescribable tearing sounds of denim brought on by the phase sent chill down my spine. The shock of it left the woods in silent awe.

Sam turned towards me, obviously angry. "Go home, Bella. _Home_. Immediately. To Charlie. Seth will take you."

I nodded, wiping the tears from my face with my sleeve. My arm still stung, though it wasn't broken.

"Do not come back into this forest. Do you hear me?" He voice was dark and booming. "Don't ever let me catch you in here again. You're going to get killed, or worse." What could be worse?

I heard a second rip of flesh and I knew Sam had phased back. Immediately I was showered with regret. What danger had I put the pack in? How much trouble would Jake be in? Or Embry? Sometimes, I was an idiot.

Seth met me at the edge of the forest. Without a word, he placed his hand on my shoulder for a brief second. Together we walked side by side, me cradling my arm and he with his hands jammed into his jean pockets, without speaking. I knew Seth had heard the whole thing. What was there to explain? There was nothing I could say. I had no defense for my actions.

Kindly, without objection, he drove me home in my own truck, not mentioning its decrepit state, and parked it just where I always did.

"I'm sure Jake will come see you tonight. It'll be okay, Bells."

"Thanks, Seth," I mumbled. "I'll see you soon. I hope."

Jogging away – none of the wolves ever walked it seemed – he left me on my doorstep. Alone. I stood there, watching his silhouette grow smaller until he disappeared into the ominous fog. I fiddled with the bracelet around my wrist, deep in thought. It was hard to remember a time when I'd felt more childish in my life. Caught doing something wrong and sent home.

At least I could spend time with Charlie. I missed him. My arm was well enough for me to cook. Lasagna sounded promising. I wiped the last of the tears from my eyes, stretched the sore fingers of my hand, and went inside.


	25. Jacob and Dresses

I didn't have internet for four days. Hence the double-chapter upload. Enjoy :)

* * *

CHP 25 – JACOB AND DRESSES

It was late. Or would this be called early? 3am. Jake still hadn't showed up. The sky transitioned into a deep, ebony black. There were no stars, no moon. The woods were silent. The air stood still. Anxiety was creeping up inside me.

Cooking for Charlie had helped stave off the anxiety for a while. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy the cheesy lasagna I whipped together with one hand.

"You're favoring your arm," he noted, glancing up at me from his plate as I filled his glass with milk with one hand.

I grimaced. "Don't worry about it, Dad. You know I'm always getting hurt."

He nodded. "That's for sure," and went back to eating his meal. I'd been glad when he didn't press for details. I was a horrible liar.

Dinner had been great, but all was quiet now. No howling. No TV. Only silence.

I fingered through Emily's baby shower invitations. They were a pale gold with pretty, elegant ribbons across the top. Angela helped me pick them out. I'd addressed all of them tonight; the invitations totaled twenty. Sighing, laying my head down on the top of my desk, I wondered what I'd gotten myself into. If having one guest over was a social feat in itself, having twenty I viewed as insurmountable.

I still couldn't believe about Jared imprinting. I shut my eyes tight, trying to drown out the memories of today and the onslaught of emotions I'd experienced. What I needed was sleep. And Jacob. _My_ Jacob.

When I next looked at the clock, it was 4am. I picked myself up off the desk and trudged over to bed. Yanking back the covers with one arm, I carefully removed the bracelet Emily had given me and set it on my nightstand table. The last thing I needed was to have to cut it off if my wrist swelled or needed a cast. I prayed it was only bruised as I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up under my chin.

Jake crawled in next to me and pulled me against him. His heart was beating fast – his chest rising and falling irregularly. He smelled differently, too. Flowery, almost. Was his hair wet? Maybe it was raining. Either that or he'd just taken a shower.

I opened my eyes and squinted around his shoulder to see the clock: 6am.

"You're late," I mumbled, scooting closer to him and closing my eyes again.

"I know," he panted, "I know. I'm so sorry, Bella. Patrol took so much longer than I expected. Twenty-two hours. Poor Quil has another nine hours to go. He looks like death. And then Embry and I got in trouble for talking to you-"

Blushing, I mumbled, "Sorry."

Propping up on his elbow, he ran a hand through my tangled hair and tried to slow his rapid breaths. "It's okay. Just promise me you'll never, ever do that again. Just please, no matter what, wait for me. Don't ever come after me like that. Just try and wait." He buried his face in my hair and breathed in slowly. "You have no idea how dangerous that was. You almost gave me a heart-attack."

Wrapping his arms around me, he pulled me closer, crushing my injured arm stuck between us..

"Ouch," I said, flinching. Immediately he loosened his grip.

"Oh gah, Bella." Beams of purple moonlight illuminated his apologetic expression. "I'm so sorry. I forgot. I…I can't believe I…"

I shook my head. "It's okay. You were mad."

"That's no excuse," he mumbled. "Charlie would _kill_ me…Billy, too…and _Sam_, especially after what happened with Emily. Are you _sure_ you're okay? Are you mad?"

"I'm fine, Jake. Really. It was an accident."

He nodded. Gently, he lifted my arm and placed it on his side, moving it out of the way so he could pull me closer again. I buried my face in his chest, breathing in his scent and basking in his invariable warmth. Though at first he'd been out of breath, panting, his breathing slowed and his heart rhythm returned to its normal, drumming self. It was steady and calming.

"Are you still upset about Jared?" he whispered.

I didn't know. His hand pushed my hair off of my face and his thumb stroked my cheek. "Please don't be," he said huskily. "There's no use in worrying."

I nodded.

"Do you really just want me to be normal?"

I didn't answer.

"If you wanted a normal life, I'd understand. I know pack life isn't ideal. I know having a boyfriend that spends half of his life as something else – a monster – off roaming the forest at night isn't what you would've asked for. If you want something different, I would try and understand. You deserve better. I know you do." The words sounded forced, but sincere. He was letting me go. Allowing me to do what I wanted. "I don't have to be your only option."

"I didn't mean what I said, Jake. It never should have come out. I don't want normal." I kissed his collar bone. "I never have. You are perfect for me. You're _good_ for me." I cuddled up against him. "I want to be with _you_, even if you are a wolf at heart."

He brought his lips down to mine and kissed me softly, just as he always did. Usually, he was cautious of my fragile state and didn't want to push me too far. Even though I knew my Jacob to be rash and impulsive, he always kept his distance – respectfully – in a self-controlled manner. Exhaustion had withered away at his resolve tonight, though, and our kiss progressed.

He scooted closer towards me and the hand on my face drew me in. Our lips moved more rapidly, pressing against each other's with more fervency. His lips parted, almost imperceptibly, and he pushed forward with one final kiss.

"If you're sure," he whispered. I could feel him smiling against my forehead as he brushed his lips against me. My face rested in the curve of his next.

I was.

"…You smell differently," I said after a few moments. "Like…a flower."

He froze. "You smell that?"

My forehead creased. "I don't know what I smell. You just smell sweet."

"Oh. I showered at Emily's. It must be her soap."

I shrugged. "I guess. At any rate, you smell like a garden. It's kind of feminine."

He didn't laugh like I expected. I looked up into his face, hoping to see a hint of a smile, but found a stone cold imitation of the Jake I'd seen just moments before.

"Lighten up," I said, trying to ease the sudden, unexpected tension. "Don't be offended."

His shoulders relaxed. "I'm not offended." I could tell the weak smile on his face was forced. "I am exhausted, though. Can I sleep?"

"It's almost daylight."

"I feel like I haven't slept in weeks." He moaned, closing his eyes and letting his head fall into bed. "My whole body aches."

Feeling pity and compassion for the boy – or man – I loved, I kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "Goodnight, Jake. I love you."

He was out before he could respond.

* * *

It was 2pm. Jacob had been sleeping a solid eight hours. I wasn't sure when I was supposed to wake him up, but I knew I wouldn't be on Sam's good side if he missed the start of his patrol.

My conscience wouldn't allow me to wake him. In the daylight I could see shadows etched in the skin under his eyes. They were a permanent part of his features these days, and I tried not to let those dark circles remind me of anything.

Charlie was home from work today. After taking a shower, I'd gone down to fix Charlie and I breakfasts at a reasonable hour – leaving Jake sleeping in my bed. I had thought the aroma of fried eggs and sizzling ham might stir Jake, but I'd prayed that he'd use enough common sense not to come trouncing down the stairs for the world to see. For these instances, when Jake used my bedroom as his own personal crash-zone, I thought it best to keep Charlie in the dark.

My story to Charlie had been I was cleaning my room – deep cleaning – and that it would be unwise to try to come in. Briefly, I mentioned cleaning out a drawer full of old bras and toiletries. It was embarrassing to mention, even in its falsehood, but I knew my room was now a safe zone for several hours if not days.

Sitting at my desk, listening to Jake snore, I scribbled down some chemical equations in my science notebook, which – I had to admit – had not gathered much of my attention this year. With all the excitement of the pack, I was falling behind. My chemistry grade had absolutely flown out the window. A few weeks ago I'd tried to bring my schoolwork to Emily's, but it was impossible to balance equations with Jared pulling the paper out from underneath my pen every few minutes. I had to give him credit for at least _trying_ to help. He just wasn't a very good teacher. Frankly, he was awful. Half the time he had no idea what he was doing. But I started to think he might actually _miss_ school, even though I knew he would never admit it.

The only grade I'd been able to uphold was English. It was my favorite, so that made it a bit easier, but I had the advantage of having already read more than half the assigned material. The classics: _Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Wuthering Heights,_ I'd all but memorized the last one. Plus, reading was the only thing that passed the time when I was up at night waiting for Jacob.

I'd invited Angela to Emily's baby shower. I knew Emily and Angela hadn't officially met – I'd mentioned Emily to Angela for the first time last week – but I felt like having a house full of strangers was an occasion for me to call in some moral support. And by moral support I meant not Jessica, though I couldn't avoid inviting her when she was the one that had helped coordinate everything. Angela had been understanding and kindly accepted the invitation, saying she'd "love to be there." I could always count on Angela. Reluctantly, I accepted the fact that Jessica was bound to show up as well.

Thinking about Angela and Jessica made me think more about graduation. Two and a half weeks. The thought was mind-boggling. I remembered moving to Forks my junior year. March, middle of the semester. Now, I was a senior – though in some ways I felt like I was so…_beyond_ high school. Like I was part of a world that was so much more significant. Graduation seemed trivial considering everything else in my life. Werewolves. Vampires. The constant threat of death or injury. I'd rather someone just mail me my diploma.

When I'd mentioned that, Jessica had_ flipped_.

"Mail your diploma?" she'd gawked. "Bella – graduation is a rite of passage. Sometimes I don't even know why I put up with you! You're so not even from the century. Or this _planet._ You have to walk! Speaking of walking – I changed which shoes I was going to wear. Inside of nude, I think I'm gonna be a little more daring. What do you think about-"

"I feel the same way," Angela had whispered encouragingly, "But we can suffer through it together, right?"

I'd nodded. Suffer through it.

I'd applied and had been accepted to a few local colleges – all close to the reservation, all ridiculously small. In keeping my job at the Newton's sporting goods store, I saw no hurry in rapidly furthering my education to advance a career of some sort. I had other things I wanted to focus on first. I'd considered taking a year off, though I hadn't talked about it with Charlie. The universities here were so under crowded that it could be a last minute decision – and it would be.

Like Angela said, I'd suffer through it. I was pretty sure half the pack was living vicariously though me, anyway. Graduating. If none of them could go to their _own_ ceremonies – they were _all_ coming to mine, invited or not. I sighed. The last thing I needed was a pack of noisy, obnoxious _wolves_ at my graduation.

Regardless of my distaste for the whole ritual, I needed to pick out something to wear before Jessica could ask me again if I'd picked an outfit. I walked over to my closet and started shifting through the darkests depths of it. Dresses. They would be in the very, very back – assuming I still had any. Dresses were not my forte. Forks weather never allowed for them anyway.

Surprisingly, I found three I thought might still fit. Navy. Red. Black. The basics. All of them were simple, solid prints. Not much variety. I had no summer dresses. No florals, no whites, no pinks. Just these. And they would have to do. I wasn't sure what the big deal was. We were all going to be wearing matching gowns on top.

I glanced over my shoulder when I heard Jake moving behind me.

"What time is it?" he grunted, rubbing his eyes and squinting in the sunlight from the window. The beams bounced off his chest and accented his defined muscles. His black hair, still short from the last time he'd shorn it, had dried in a humorous array. After rubbing his eyes, his hands moved to his hair and instinctively tried to flatten it down with little avail. His skin was a deep, reddish tan I envied. My whiteness paled in comparison.

"2:30," I answered, turning back to my closet.

"Wow. I slept a long time."

"I didn't want to wake you." I said apologetically. "I hope you didn't miss anything."

"I don't have to go back until 7." He said, pushing up to lean back on his arms. "What're you doing?"

"I have to pick out a dress for graduation," I muttered. I heard him get out of bed and turned to see him standing right behind me.

"You graduate in two weeks, don't you?"

"Two and a _half_." I said defiantly. I wasn't going to let him cut me short a solid three days.

"I can help you pick one if you'd like," he offered. Then his stomach let

"Are you hungry?" I asked, looking away from the hanging dresses and up to his face.

"Always," he said, smirking. "I can run and eat at Emily's and come back…"

"I can get you something," I said. "Stay here."

Jacob watched me incredulously as I slid on one of my heavier plaid jackets and his eyebrows rose when I zipped it up and smiled. "Just trust me, I'll be right back."

Charlie's eyes remained glued to the television when I came downstairs. I tried my hardest to remain discreet.

Opening up the pantry, I grabbed two boxes of pop tarts, strawberry and brown sugar, three nutty granola bars, a box of saltine crackers and a can of Pringles. From the fridge, I lifted a block of cheese and a carton of orange juice. Carefully, without spilling or dropping anything, I shoved the pantry items down the front of my jacket, cinching up the bottom so they wouldn't fall out. I looked like I'd gained a hundred pounds. I'd have to go to the grocery store later, before Charlie noticed the sizeable gap in our food supply.

Carrying the cold cheese and juice in my arms, I walked carefully up the stairs. Charlie's eyes never left the TV screen. I was so relieved I wasn't living with Renee at this moment. She might've been spacey, but she rarely missed anything concerning me.

Sliding back into my room, I watched a grin spread across Jake's face as I unloaded the content onto my bed.

"So it's not exactly a five star meal…" I said, second guessing my random, hasty choices.

He was still grinning as he reached for the crackers. "Wolves aren't picky when it comes to food." He ripped open the cheese and the crackers with his teeth and plopped down on the bed. "Show me the dresses."

Awkwardly, I picked up the blue one on the hanger and held it out at arm's length. "This is the blue one." I did the same with the second and third. "This one is black and this one is red."

He shook his head, swallowed a mouthful of cracker and laughed. "I know what color they are. Put them on or something so I can see how they look on you."

I blushed. "Like...model them?"

"Yeah!" he said, finishing off the crackers and moving on to the pop tarts. "I used to help Rachel pick out things all the time. Just slip them on so I can pick one."

"Okay…" I said uncomfortably.

"Here," he said, laying back on the bed and looking straight up at the ceiling. "I won't look. Promise."

I stood there a few seconds, wondering if he was serious, and decided he was. "Close your eyes," I mumbled, reaching out for the black dress.

"They're closed," he said, throwing his arm over his eyes for good measure, but leaving his mouth open for the endless stream of poptarts he was feeding himself. I might have to make another food run.

Clumsily, I threw off my sweats and t-shirt and hastily slid into the black dress, keeping my eye on Jake the whole time to make sure he wasn't looking. He stayed still and never turned his head, but the paranoid part of me wondered if he'd even need to with all his crazy wolf-senses.

"Okay." I said, holding out my arms so he could behold the averageness that was this dress. Cap sleeves, normal rounded neckline, knee-length. Nothing special.

He sat up, took another three bites, and tilted his head. I squirmed. Scrutiny always made me uncomfortable.

"It's nice," he commented, "But I don't think it's really graduation appropriate. I mean, black is more for funerals, right?"

I shrugged. I didn't really know. Come to think of it, the last place I might've worn this dress was to a funeral two years ago. The black accentuated my fair skin in an unflattering way.

"Next," he said, leaning back onto my bed and starting on the granola bars.

"Don't get crumbs in my bed," I murmured.

He chuckled.

Hastily, I wiggled my way out of the black one and into the navy one. It had a zipper down the back I wasn't too sure about, but I managed to get it up by myself, though I know I looked awkward doing it. The neck of this one was squared and it was sleeveless. It came a little above my knee and I self-consciously tried to pull it down. Sighing, I turned towards Jake. " 'Kay."

Jake sat up again and smiled. "I like this one. Do you?"

I turned to look at myself in the full length mirror Renee had sent with me. "Charlie's a man. You'll be lucky if you can find a mirror in that house."

I tilted my head and pulled at the hem. "It's a little short."

Jacob shook his head in disagreement. "I don't think it's too short. Nothing compared to what my sisters used to wear." He scrunched up his face. "But if it makes you uncomfortable…"

"It does."

"Then next," and he lay back down. My bed was littered with empty boxes and wrappers. The Pringles and the juice were the only remaining items, and I knew they wouldn't be there long.

This third one I was not sure about. I had definitely never worn it and had a hard time remembering why it was in my closet or if it was even mine. I figured it was one of those things Renee had found in the back of my closet and shoved in a box of mine unawares "just in case." Just in case what, Renee? I shook my head, not wanting to know.

The back had buttons half way down. It was red – bright red – and a v-neck. Not a dangerous, street-walker type v-neck, but a v-neck nonetheless. I didn't do v-necks. But then again I didn't do dresses either.

I slipped it on, not looking in the mirror until it was, for the most part, on. I couldn't do the buttons by myself. Standing awkwardly, holding the back closed, I debated whether or not to call it quits and claim it was an absolute no-go when Jake chimed in. "Ready?"

"Umm…" I said awkwardly. "I can't button the back."

"Can I open my eyes?" he asked.

I looked in the mirror. Everything was covered. "I guess."

Sitting up for the final time, he set down the Pringles and slowly walked over to me. Jake stood behind me and peered over my head into the mirror.

It didn't look so bad. It was longer than the blue one, which I liked, but it was still considered knee-length. The v-neck wasn't as bad as I envisioned, though it did showcase my extreme paleness. Jake motioned to the buttons and I nodded, moving my hair out of the way so he could get to them. His fingers brushed lightly across my back as he fastened the buttons. Smiling to myself, I wondered if he was taking longer the necessary or if his fingers were too big to work with.

When he was finished, he quickly kissed the back of my neck and let his fingers slid down my arms. "do you like it?" he asked.

I scrutinized myself in the mirror. It was flattering, though I was a little self-conscious about the color. "Red isn't really…me." I said, unsure.

"It's adventurous." He said. "Perfect for an adventurous day, right? For the step into a new phase of life." He chuckled.

I shrugged. "Do you like it?"

A huge grin spread across his face – the genuine, happy one I loved. "This is my pick. I think you look beautiful."

I felt my face flush and I fingered the fabric of the dress with embarrassment. "Thanks." The red one it is. Jessica would be proud.

I changed back in to comfortable clothes while Jake cleaned all the wrappings off my bed and downed the carton of orange juice.

"Hey," he said, and the rustling of wrappers stopped. "Is this the bracelet Emily gave you?"

"Yeah," I answered, hanging the dresses back into the depths of my closet.

"Why did you take it off?" he asked, picking it up gingerly and inspecting it. "It didn't break, did it?" His voice sounded a little frantic.

"No," I said. "I took it off in case my arm swelled up. I didn't want-"

"Here," he interrupted, grabbing my good arm and fastening it back quickly. "Wear it on this arm, then. Emily's feelings would be hurt if you didn't wear it."

"You think so?" I asked, not thinking it would be a big deal.

"Yeah," he answered fervently. "Don't take it off."

He was acting strangely, but I agreed. It was a gorgeous bracelet. The beads were meticulously interwoven with the fragile, tan threads.

"Don't take it off, okay?" He said, brow furrowed.

"Okay, okay." I insisted. "I won't."

He smiled gently and pulled me into a hug, smothering me in his warmth. "I love you," he spoke tenderly.

I smiled in response and wrapped my arms around his massive body. "I love you, too."

* * *

For the remainder of the day – we still had about four hours together – we spent a relaxing afternoon in and around my house. We flipped through my pathetic excuse for a scrapbook and vowed to fill it with better pictures. He asked about the progress of the baby shower planning and I groaned. When he asked about college, I tried to shrug it off, but he pressed for details. Reluctantly, I admitted to not having a solid plan. As I should have expected, he took this to be no big deal. That's one thing I loved about Jake. He never made a fuss over things.

"You'll figure it out," he said nonchalantly. "There's no rush. You've got the rest of your life."

"I just hate deciding," I griped.

"At least you have a choice." He spat bitterly, chuckling shallowly at the end to hide the sharp edge of his comment. "What I mean is I've got the forest forever. You can choose to leave. I don't have that choice. Not anymore."

"It won't always be like this," I remarked. "Once Victoria and her friend leave-"

"It'll get worse before it gets better. We're beginning to think she's a lot more powerful than we thought."

I tried not to let this notion get to me. "But it'll be okay, right?"

He slung his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder in encouragement. "Of course it will." I tried not to let on that I saw the look of doubt etched out clearly throughout his features. He gazed thoughtfully out the window while I gathered up the remains of my scrapbook and slid them back in my desk drawer.

"Time for me to go," he said as the sun started to fall. As I cleared the bed, he moved over to the window and unlatched the sides, sliding it up enough for him to fit through. I wish time would stop – I wasn't ready to hand Jacob back over to the trees just yet. "Why don't you bring your camera over to Emily's? Quil's off. You could get some pictures for your scrapbook."

"It's getting late," I said, tugging my jacket closer around my sides as I stood by the window to say goodbye. "Maybe tomorrow after work."

"Whatever you want. If you're staying here, try not to leave the house, okay? We're running rampant out there."

I smiled. "I'm staying here for now. But I might have to run to the grocery store tomorrow. You put a sizeable dent in our food supply."

His sweet mouth twisted into a grimace. "Sorry."

I laughed but my eyes were sad because I knew he was about to leave. "It's fine."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then slid off his tennis shoes. "Do you mind keeping these here? I know it's weird, but if I leave them in the forest Paul will steal them and claim them for his own. It's a new habit he's picked up."

I picked them up with my good arm. "That sounds like Paul." He smiled.

Looking over his shoulder out into the night sky, he made an irritated clicking sound with his mouth. "I'm gonna be late."

I rested my hand on the top of his arm, slowly stroking across the lines of his tattoo. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

Planting a swift kiss on my lips, he turned and made the perilous jump from my window to the moist, grassy earth. Setting down his worn shoes on my desk, I watched the miniscule light from the slivered moon play across his back and he ran for the forest edge, fingering the mysterious bracelet Emily had given me. As he disappeared, I sighed. I already missed him.


	26. Date

Thanks for waiting. I promise I'm working as hard as I can on this. I'd say we're over halfway through now!

LONG CHAPTERRRR. Next chp coming this weekend.

BOO BOO STEWART. Seth Clearwater. Google him. He is my new love.

CHP 26 - DATE

***SAM POV***

My face felt like it was an inferno. Weeks working with the Cullens and I still hadn't adapted to their nose-searing scent. I likened it to sniffing fire.

They were all here: Carlisle, the doctor. Esme, and apparent coven mother figure. Alice, the tiny one with all the information. Jasper, her creepy husband with the shifty eyes and mood controlling powers. Emmett, the brute strength. His wife, Rosalie, had decided to show herself, too. She was especially difficult to deal with. The blonde and Jacob were at constant odds. I kept telling him to tone down his blatant hatred – but it was apparently uncontrollable.

Things had been tense since Alice's near encounter with Bella. The careless girl had stomped into the forest – a forest full of vampires nonetheless. Alice had heard her screaming and ran to meet her, almost violating the treaty and sending the whole plan up in smoke. Had Jake not shown up when he did – sending her off – I don't know what would've happened.

The pack was in agreement: Bella couldn't know about the Cullens. Not unless Jacob broke the news. Under Jake's strong suggestion I'd issued the pack a gag order – no one could mention to Cullens except for Jake. He'd have to watch his own tongue. The gag order worked, too. When Embry had tried to explain to Bella the dangers of being in the woods, he couldn't get a sound out. Sometimes I wish I could gag order the whole pack for life. No more talking, period. Having such a large pack in constant communication – seven boys all together – was exhausting.

Not to mention we'd more than doubled our patrol hours. Quil had almost fainted last night from exhaustion. I knew I was pushing them hard – but it was necessary. The vampires – Victoria and her friend – had the advantage: they never needed to sleep.

The Cullens could keep watch just fine by themselves. They never tired. But we didn't trust them enough to leave them out here unattended. Five or six wolves were on patrol at all times – one for each Cullen as best as we could manage.

We all resented Leah for her desertion; her name was taboo. Seth missed her, though he was the only one. We tried to keep our acidic thoughts to ourselves, but consciously we all knew we had to work longer shifts because we were down one.

All of our energy was geared towards Victoria and her friend, whom we learned was named Riley. Victoria wasn't being careful about watching her decisions, not knowing we had Alice as our ally to inform us of her every move. Victoria's vampire talent was, we guessed, the gift of evasion.

Alice kept a tight watch on Riley and Victoria at all times- almost to the point of her own exhaustion. Victoria wanted Bella. That part of the story was constant. What had changed was her approach. _Drastically _changed. Realizing she couldn't get around the pack by herself, she was enlisting the help of others. _Newborns_, as the doctor had called them. In this case, young vampires created specifically for an attack on the pack in order to reach Bella. Alice kept a constant surveillance on them – watching their numbers increase and decrease as they fought and dueled amongst themselves. Her vision slipped occasionally through her exhaustion. Though they aided in our strategy, we still had to be on constant guard. She saw the future – but the future could change in the blink of an eye and we could be surrounded without warning.

Keeping Bella in the dark had been difficult. Reports of continuous and mounting murders in Seattle appeared in every newspaper. TV coverage of the incidents remained incessant. So far, to our relief, she hadn't become suspicious of the increased vampire number – in the forest or in Seattle.

Jared had become our permanent ambassador between ourselves and the wolves as he was still more comfortable in his human form.

"Tell us again what the vampires are doing in Seattle. What're their plans?"

"I told you," Alice chimed. "She's building an army and bringing them here when she thinks they're strong enough to fight."

"How soon will that be?"

"I don't know. It's hard to see past all of you…" She closed her eyes tightly and took in a deep breath. "I can't tell. I can't see."

"Well, try harder!" Jared persisted.

Alice turned her dainty nose up. "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even _know _about them. I wouldn't be so hasty to forget that." Jacob growled. I side-glanced him with a warning look.

Jared took a deep breath, flinching at the burn of their scent. "You said she wasn't blocking her thoughts because she doesn't know you're here. Just close your eyes and envision when she's going to come!"

"How many times do I have to explain that it isn't that simple? I don't read minds." She closed her eyes tightly. I could tell she was trying. "She has no clear plan. She hasn't decided. It could be weeks."

"We've been at this for days," Jared spat. "How long do we have to wait for her to make a move? Why don't we just go get her? Why wait for her to come here?"

Carlisle stepped forward. "Here, we have the advantage of familiarity. You all know the layout of the land and we're learning it as well. Giving that up to attack in Seattle would be unwise."

Jared narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. I understood his eagerness. We all wanted to fight.

"Jacob wants to remind all of you that you're to have to contact with Bella." Jared spoke to the clan. "Especially after the recent incident." We all looked to Alice.

"I told you. I heard her screaming and went to help. I wasn't trying to break the treaty. "

"No contact. That's what we all agreed to. She's weak enough as it is. If Victoria comes and Bella's out of her mind because of you all, it will only complicate things. It's for her safety. Her well-being."

Jake growled and nodded. I agreed. We couldn't have Bella fall apart right now.

***BELLA POV***

Overall, the day had been awkward, to say the least.

School was a blur. I couldn't help but feel like I was beyond it. With so much else going on, how could I focus on trivial things?

Inventory had to be taken at work today. I was at least glad for the distraction. Counting and labeling was monotonous but required more concentration than sitting in a class pretending to read a textbook.

"So," Mike said as he followed me into the stock room. "Ready for graduation?"

I sighed. "Is that all anyone thinks about these days?"

"Well," Mike shrugged. "It is in a week and a half. You can't ignore it forever."

"I can try," I mumbled, shoving a box of last season's solar flashlights up on a shelf.

"Jessica's speech is really great." He said, following me back out of the stock room. He really wasn't doing much inventorying. Mainly just talking.

"Mmm," I said, acknowledging his comment but not encouraging further discussion. He failed to pick up on the subtle hint.

"Yeah. It's all, like, rock and roll."

I picked up a box of wool camping sock and shoved them into his arms. "Stock shelf B," I read off the inventory clipboard.

"Do you know where you're going to college?" He asked, standing with the box of socks as I pretended to re-scan the ridiculously detailed inventory list.

"Umm," I said, pushing some loose hairs behind my ear. "I think I might take a year off, actually. You know….to…travel…"

Mike's eyebrows shot up. "A year abroad? I didn't really peg you as that type."

"Well," I shrugged, picking up a crate of powdered dinners to stack in the back, "Maybe not _abroad_ abroad. But, you know, around."

"Hmm," he mused, following me as I passed him. "What does Chief Swan think about that?"

Charlie didn't know. "I make my own decisions." This was true, for the most part. But I knew Charlie was going to have a lot to say about this. Especially when he found out "abroad" primarily meant "in La Push". I had so much going on. College just seemed so…intangible, at the moment. And I didn't want to leave Jacob. He had more of an influence in my decision than I wanted to admit.

"If you say so," Mike answered, dubious. "Are you and that kid from the reservation still a thing?"

"Yes." I answered. "We are."

"Are you guys…you know…serious?"

I felt blood rush into my cheeks, making them warm. "Yeah, I'd say we were pretty serious."

Mike looked like he was about to say something else when I was saved from my phone ringing up at the front of the store. I ducked out of the store room marked 'Employees Only' and walked briskly to my backpack, trying not to trip.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bells, it's me." Jake's husky voice sounded through the phone. I tried to hide my answering smile from Mike, who was nosily leaning against the counter, a little too close for comfort. I took a step back.

"What's up, Jake? Is the p- um, how's everything?"

"It's good. So listen, do you mind if I pick you up from work today? Say in about fifteen minutes?"

"Um…sure, I guess that's alright. I get off soon, anyway."

"Okay," I thought I heard a smile in his voice, but I might've been imagining things. He sounded a little nervous too. Apprehensive. "I'll be there soon."

"Sounds good. Bye."

"I...I love you," he said. It caught me off guard, since we didn't talk on the phone a lot and this particular phrase didn't come up often, though it was obvious we both felt it.

"I love you too, Jake. Bye."

"Bye," he answered, and hung up.

I turned around to see Mike's eyebrows raised again. "Love?"

"Being kinda nosy, aren't you, Mike?"

He shrugged. I opened up my backpack a little too widely to return my phone to the inside pocket, and Jake's oversized tennis shoes fell to the tile floor with a slap. Mike's mouth opened awkwardly as I scrambled to pick them up and shove them back in my bag, out of sight.

"You have some of his shoes? What, did he leave them at your house?"

I shrugged. "I'm returning them today."

"You're carrying around his clothes…that he left…at your house…"

"Shut up, Mike." I said, maybe a little too aggressively. "They're just shoes. I'm just holding them."

"Guilty, from the looks of it. What else of his do you have in there? He must've been in a mad rush out the door if he left his _shoes_ behind." He crossed his arms, his face portraying a mix of jealousy and irritation.

Mike was getting the wrong idea here, I was sure of it.

"Don't read too much into it, Mike. Really." I mumbled, zipping up my backpack forcefully.

The sound of Jake's motorcycle roared outside the shop's glass doors. Increasingly thankful for his arrival, I slung my backpack over my shoulder, knocking the inventory clipboard to the ground in my hasty scramble. Skipping the cordial goodbye, I elbowed my way outside into the cold to meet Jacob, the cool, misty air cooling my blushing cheeks.

"Hey, beautiful," he said, grinning and wrapping his arms around me. The same mist that cooled my cheeks coated the tips of his shiny black hair and flattened them to his tanned forehead. His grey t-shirt had turned several shades darker with the condensation of the mist hitting across his chest in the ride over. The flimsy cotton stuck to his body and made him look even more ridiculously buff.

The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. "You look hott."

He looked down at me, surprised, and I could see his grin widen. "Thanks." I smiled back, glad he hadn't been embarrassed by my blunt comment. He raised his head again, looking over my head and back to the shop.

"Mike's watching us through the store window." He noticed, tilting his head back down to avoid staring. "He doesn't look happy. He's probably jealous that I get to hug you as much as I want and he doesn't."

I felt myself flush again. "I think….I think he thinks we're sleeping together."

"Huh?" Jake asked, perplexed.

"He saw your shoes in my bag and figured I had the rest of your clothes stashed, too. He jumped to conclusions. If he tells Jessica…"

Jacob chuckled. "Well he wouldn't be the first person to assume so. Leah, Charlie, Mike…"

I groaned.

"Don't worry about it Bella. We know we're not."

"I just don't want to give people the wrong impression," I muttered into his chest.

"People find it easy to assume things when they see us doing things like this."

"Like this?" I questioned, looking up into his face to see what he was talking about.

He brought his lips down on mine hungrily, without warning. His warm breath filled my mouth and tiny droplets of water dropped from his saturated hair onto my face. He unlocked his arms around me and grabbed my waist with his hands, stepping closer and pushing me again his body with his wide palms. Wrapping my arms around his neck and standing up on my toes, I pressed my lips against his. His soft mouth moved in quick, gentle strokes, and after shaking off the momentary shock of the surprise, I happily kissed him back – forgetting for a second that Mike was stalking us from the window behind.

Jake laughed against my lips. "I think he's mad."

I slapped him playfully. "You did that on purpose!"

"Did what?" he said, still laughing, and handed me a slick black helmet.

"Made him mad. You _knew_ he was watching."

"He looked mad before that." He noted.

"I think he thinks we're having sex…" I mumbled, avoiding eye contact with my nosy coworker.

"What? Why? Did you_ tell_ him that?"

"No, I didn't_ tell_ him that. He saw your shoes in my backpack – the ones I'm returning – and figured you'd left the rest of your clothes at my house, too…"

"Oh," he said thoughtfully. "Well…._ I_ don't mind if he thinks that."

I rolled my eyes. "_I do._ My whole school will think that if he opens his mouth. I don't need that kind of reputation."

"I just felt the sudden urge to stake my claim. It's a wolf thing." He beamed. I shook my head, annoyed by high off the lasting effects of his kiss. "Just put on the helmet," he continued. "We're going for a ride."

"In this weather?" Usually we only took rides on sunny days – and only on days when Charlie wasn't on patrol.

"I wanna take you somewhere. It's not far. I promise."

"Don't you have patrol?" I asked, hooking the helmet clasp under my chin.

He leaned down to my face so we could meet eye to eye. "I just want you to forget about the pack life for today, okay? We're both taking a vacation. Just for a few hours. Can you do that?"

I smiled and nodded. Normalcy. No pack life. It sounded good, I guess, for a change. As long as I was with Jake.

With a smile he grabbed the bike's silver handle bars and threw his leg over the side to mount it. I wondered briefly why he was wearing a shirt, but I figured the annoyingly light rain might've made him uncomfortable on the bike with it pounding against his bare skin.

I climbed onto the bike behind him, careful not to slip and fall of the other side. Scooting up against him as close as I could get, I threw my arms around his middle and rested the side of my face against his back.

"Ready?" he asked, revving the motor.

"Yeah, ready." I answered, and we peeled off onto the winding streets leaving a sullen Mike behind us.

I clung to Jake as we sped down the street, darkened and made slick by rain. Trees and ferns rushed by in a green blur. The muscles in Jake's back and shoulders shifted and flexed with each turn down the haphazard, sinuous roads. He leaned with the turns and held the bars steady. We must've been going seventy miles an hour at least, but I tried not to be scared. Jake was fast, but my life want in danger as it had been many times before when I'd been with…others. Jake was steady, wielding total control over the machine at all times.

We didn't turn at any familiar places – not toward Port Angeles, not deeper into Forks, not even to La Push. Jacob had taught me enough about maps and direction for me to guess that we were going east – away from familiarity. I didn't know how long it had been, but spent long enough on the bike for my hair to be damp and my arms and cheeks to be splattered with water and tiny bits of mud.

The wheels of the bike began to slow and Jacob sat up a little straight, not longer needing to protect himself against the icy wind. We pulled into a parking lot and I slid off the motorcycle, reluctantly letting go of him, so he could climb off too.

We'd arrived at a restaurant: White Wolf.

I smiled at the name, but frowned when I peered into the window.

"Aren't we a little under dressed?" I questioned, worried. We were both wet and covered in mud. Inside, the hostesses were wearing all black and the diners were dressed far more appropriately than we were.

Jake smiled. "It's fine. I brought some stuff."

"Huh?" I said, turning back around towards him. For the trip, he'd tacked on a small luggage carrier to the back of his bike. It was small; I hadn't noticed it.

He expertly unlocked it and threw me a pair of my own jeans and a clean, button up shirt. He had clothes for himself as well and a small towel. "I'm prepared," he smiled, proud of himself.

"My clothes?" I asked.

"I hope you don't mind." He said, tossing the towel over his shoulder and relocking the luggage box. "I knew the weather wasn't perfect and we'd have to change, but I really just wanted to take you out. On a date."

"A date?" I repeated, eyebrows raised.

"Well that's what this is, isn't it? You _are_ my girlfriend. In case you've forgotten." He grinned. "I felt like our relationship needed some normalcy. For once."

I smiled back, gingerly fingering the fabric of the linen smelling clothes, suddenly feeling shy at the prospect of a real date with Jake. The only other "date" we'd had was with Mike Newton. Both of them had gotten sick.

"Let's go inside and change," he said. He took my hand with his muddy one and we walked inside as a couple.

In the restaurant's bathroom, I stripped down and changed in the stall, shoving my wet, muddy clothes back into my bag. Luckily, I had a hairbrush in my backpack – though I wasn't sure how long it had been in there or how it came to be there in the first place. After quickly ripping the tangles out of my hair in front of the mirror, I grabbed a paper towel and wiped the dirt off my face. All in all, the four minutes I'd spent in this restaurant's bathroom had allowed me to look fairly presentable for my date with Jake.

When I walked out of the bathroom, I found Jake already changed and cleaned up casually leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. Though the hostesses at the front were eyeing him, his eyes only lit up when he saw me walking towards him. I wasn't sure what my expression looked like – because the first thought to cross my mind when I saw him was that he looked _hott_.

He was wearing a pair of dark, well-fitted jeans and a blue, button up shirt with the sleeve rolled up, revealing the bottom half of his toned arms. He had some new shoes on, too. His hair was a little messy- he'd obviously run the towel through it in an attempt to dry it off – and it left it looking a tiny bit disheveled. I tried to remember a recent time when I'd seen him in decent clothing and couldn't picture it. This new look was definitely a nice change.

"You look nice," he muttered privately to me, pecking me quickly on the temple and grabbing my hand. "Let's get a table."

The hostess, dressed in a pulling black t-shirt and ridiculously low riding slacks laid our menus down in front of us, leaning across Jake unnecessarily to adjust the pepper shaker sitting on the table. Casually, he leaned away from her so she couldn't brush against him and didn't smile. She leaned further, shamelessly, and Jake moved his entire chair away from her, raising his eyebrows in surprise. She got the message.

"Your waitress will be with you shortly," she said briskly, and walked off, swaying her hips with unnecessary force.

I knew there must've been a potent frown across my face, because Jake tapped my leg underneath the table with his and grinned. "Smile, Bells. We're on a date."

The needless, nervous butterflies in my stomach erupted again at the mention of the word "date". It just seemed so formal. This restraint was nice. Contrary to the diner where Charlie and I grabbed the occasional meal, this restaurant had tablecloths and clean chairs and employee dress codes – though by the look of some of their outfits it was obvious the dress code only extended as far as the color.

"Pick anything you want," Jake said, not bothering to open his menu.

"Are you sure this is okay?" I asked, opening mine and scanning the prices. They were a little on the pricey side. "I feel bad that you're spending money…"

He smiled, leaning back in his chair. "Relax. This is supposed to be fun for you."

I tucked my hair behind my ears and smiled, dropping my gaze down to the menu. Salads. Chicken. Steaks. The assortment of food was overwhelming.

"When do you have to go back on patrol?" I questioned, casually, trying to decide between the veggie burger and the sundried tomato pasta.

Jake grunted and he leaned on the table with his elbows, bringing his gaze very close to mine. "Bella. Normalcy, remember? From now until the end of the night we're not going to think about anything else but you and me and normal, human things. Okay?"

I nodded.

He smiled a gentle smile and reached across the table to grab my hand, tracing the veins in the back of my hand. The tiny blue rivers shone through my translucent skin easily and made me look frail. At first, I felt awkward with Jake being so subtly affectionate in this setting, but his gaze became so intoxicating that I hardly noticed when our waitress strolled up with an annoyed expression and a worn notepad.

"What can I get for you both?" she asked, looking to me first but obviously anxious to get to Jake.

"The veggie burger, please. With fries." I folded up my menu and held it out for her.

"And to drink?"

"Water is fine, thanks."

She turned towards Jake, obviously trying to lessen her permanently annoyed expression and flipping her ponytail obnoxiously. "And for you?"

"I'll have the large steak burger with a baked potato. We'll also have the appetizer of the night, whatever it is. And I'll have water, too, please."

Our waitress took his menu back with contempt and stated mechanically. "Thanks and your bread will be out shortly." Jake nodded.

"You didn't have to order an appetizer. Not for my sake, anyway." I commented after she'd stalked away.

"I know. But people look at you funny when you order more than one entrée at a higher class restaurant. An appetizer is the only way I can come close to the amount I would normally eat at Emily's." He shrugged. "This will at least hold me off until later."

The waitress, whose name tag said Nora, brought our water and a loaf of hot bread. I traced patterns in the condensation, mesmerized by the water droplets as they swam down the sides of the glass, racing each other for the tablecloth. Jake took a knife and sliced the loaf of bread in half, claiming a part for himself and courteously leaving me more than I could ever stomach.

"How did you find out about this place?" I asked while he tore apart his half of the bread and began to eat. "It's not exactly convenient.

He smiled, remembering. "We ate here for Sam's last birthday. A few months ago. They took me out for dinner, too, after I shifted and stabilized. I bet they take Seth here some day after everything calms down. It's kind of like a sick tradition. A fake celebration. It's more like compensation. But it was fun. I remember. At first, it was because the name was ironic, but it turns out they have really good food."

I frowned, trying to picture the pack in clothes, dressed up and eating like normal people in a restaurant where no one was yelling or jostling their neighbors.

Jake sat, lost in his thoughts of memory. Watching, letting my eyes drink in his presence, I sat and stared at his shamelessly. He looked older today, somehow. Maybe it was the clothes. I wasn't sure. It was strange. Jacob was stuck in that awkward phase between being a kid and being a man. I couldn't hear myself calling him a man in my mind- but he was certainly no kid. He was far past looking – and acting – like a child. But his eyes still held some fragment of innocence – some essence of something unattainable I couldn't put my finger on.

Seth Clearwater was a kid. I still considered Quil a kid, too. Sam and Paul were clearly men. Maybe even Jared. His injury had added a few physical years to him – mentally, too, I was sure. But Jake? I didn't know which category I'd place him in. Embry was in this awkward in between too. A kid with too much responsibility. A man with a heart too young.

I know what I considered myself, though. Had I ever considered myself a child? Renee never had. I was born a forty year old, she'd joked. I never felt like a child.

Jake's half of the bread was gone. I saw him eyeing mine and pushed the basket towards him. I interrupted my own thoughts. "I graduate soon."

Jake nodded, his forehead creasing. "You ready now?"

I thought about it. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I am. Ready to move on."

"And college?"

"No college. Not yet."

Jake looked at me skeptically. "What kind of plans are you harboring, then?"

"I thought I might just stay around here. In Forks. Take a break. Focus on the pack."

"Bella." He said seriously, setting down my half of the bread- which was now my fourth. "I don't want to talk about the pack right now. We're on a _date_. But you can't put your life on hold just because the pack isn't moving forward. We're not just gonna finish up and move on. This is who we are."

I thought about that. "I just want to stay here a bit. Make sure Charlie is still….settled."

"Bella." He rolled his eyes. "Charlie as lived in that house for eighteen years. What makes you think he's not settled?"

I wasn't fooling him.

"I just think college is an unneeded distraction right now." I said casually.

"Or the reservation life is."

I sipped at my water through a straw, eyeing him. "It's my call."

Jake nodded solemnly. "It is. But it's Charlie's too.

That was a little bit of a snag. "I haven't told Charlie yet," I admitted.

"Ah," Jake said, a grin spreading across his face. "So I don't need to worry yet. Your plans will change."

"College is not a big deal," I tried to tell myself.

"Right."

"_You're _not going." I emphasized.

"And you know why."

"I make my own decisions! I always have." I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair. "From the sound of it, you_ want_ me to leave for college."

Jake popped the last of the bread in his mouth and leaned forward, moving the empty basket out of the way. "That's not it at all."

"Then what is it? I mean I thought you'd be kind of excited. A year with no interruptions on my side."

"That would be exciting. But I just…we practically have eternity together. I just don't want you to waste your life for me."

"You _are _my life," I admitted, blushing through my honesty.

He studied my face and reached out again to touch my hand. "Just make the choices that are right for you. No matter what. I just want you to be happy."

I nodded, seeing our food arriving from over his shoulder.

Our appetizer and food arrived in a timely fashion, thought the waitress still had a scowl on her face as though we were some sort of unexpected inconvenience. The food was delicious- Jake downed hi before I was even halfway through with my own – but he assured me that I should take my time. Ordering another drink refill for both of us, he sat back in his chair and watched me eat, looking thoroughly content. His hair was drying quickly – turning a shade lighter but again darkening as the sun outside fell behind the silhouetted pines.

I tried not to feel self-conscious with his eyes on me and looked around at the other people in the restaurant. To our left sat a couple a few years older than us – maybe early thirties. They weren't talking to each other – the woman talked quietly on her cell phone, though still rudely in a public setting, The man with her, whom I assumed to be her husband, browsed lazily through his blackberry underneath the table. No eye contact, no physical conversation. Just distractions. I frowned. It made me sad, seeing this disconnected couple, and I was glad Jake and I had a better relationship.

In the corner, a sweet looking older man sat alone, eating a steak and gazing out the window. He wasn't wearing a wedding ring – but his fingers appeared worn and strangely bare. Like he used to have one.

A small family to our right caught my eye. A young woman- early twenties – and a husband that looked only a few years older. She was thin, possibly considered average but pretty in her utter simplicity. The man was darker, dressed similarly to Jake. They were talking to each other, smiling occasionally, and they were happy. What drew me to them, however, wasn't their sweet togetherness, but what sat in between them. A small child – a tiny little girl – sitting quietly in a highchair. She had braided dark hair – dark like her father – and a beautiful, full face. She was younger than two – and her parents obviously loved her – handing her a spoon or napkin to play with every few minutes, pushing her hair out of her face, leaning over to kiss her forehead, all while talking to each other, keeping a steady flow of conversation. I felt bad for staring, but I couldn't ignore them. They were just…happy. I hoped our relationship reflected what I could see theirs did.

Jake noticed my gaze. "That could be us," he said, smiling, looking thoughtful. "If you wanted that."

Tearing my eyes away from the mesmerizing family, I looked into Jake's eyes, understanding the implications of what he was saying.

"If you wanted," he repeated a little quiet, his eyes still locked on my face.

I didn't answer at first, clouded by thoughts of everything all at once. The pack forever. Jake forever. Being together. Getting married. Having tiny, dark haired children.

It was a lot to think about. A lot of responsibility. A lot of pressure.

"I want you," I answered simply. I knew I wanted Jake. I needed my Jacob. I didn't know about anything else.

His eyes slid from my face back to the family that could – if we wanted and if fate allowed – resemble our own someday.

"I'm glad you do." He said rather matter-of-factly.

I didn't feel like eating anymore. My brain and heat were too full for my stomach to feel empty.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, pulling a badly worn wallet out of his back pocket and laying some bills on the table.

I nodded. Standing, he took me hand and we walked out of the restaurant together. Hoping Jake wouldn't notice, I tossed a glance backwards towards the family we'd been watching. The woman looked up from her plate, feeling my gaze on her, and locked eyes with me. For a moment, we just looked at each other. Then her calm face broke into a gentle, knowing smile. Her lips moved, ever so slightly, and her husband, with his arm thrown over the back of his daughter's highchair, glanced over his shoulder at me and smiled to. He winked in a friendly manner, and the hand thrown over the highchair gave me a thumbs up. Awkwardly, I smiled, pushed my hair behind my ears and tripped where the carpeted floor turned into smooth tile as Jake pulled me along. There a silent understanding between us – we were very similar. They were just further along than we were, had taken a path that might be an option for me. For us. A realistic option that I could learn to be okay with.

Jake's eyes fell down to me and he lightly squeezed my hand.


	27. Date cont

This chapter switches back between Bella and Jacob. Some of you will like it, some of you will hate it, but I needed more dimension for this chapter so you have two POVs :) ENJOY!

PS. Boo Boo Stewart. Seriously. Google his recent hotness.

_REVIEW!_

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**CHP 27 – DATE CONT. **

Even though the sun had lowered, the infamous Forks mist had finally taken a break and the streets had turned from a slick black to a damp grey- gutters littered with tiny puddles. It was a cool evening for late May.

"What do you want to do now?" he asked as we walked towards his bike.

Truthfully, all I really wanted to do was look at him. It felt strange, thinking this way. I was normally never the googley-eyed girl. But something about Jake tonight – dressed up, driving his motorcycle (the one he'd restored himself), the whole "date" atmosphere… things just felt different. In a good way. Like I'd finally gotten past everything and could see the beautiful, unclouded Jacob for the first time.

"I don't know," I answered. Jake let go of my hand and leaned up against his bike, crossing him arms, thoughtful.

"I don't want us to go back to the reservation tonight. That would kill the normalcy thing I'm trying to accomplish here.

I smiled. "Like having a hott guy steal you from work on his motorcycle and taking you to a restaurant in the middle of nowhere is normal."

He beamed and raised his eyebrows in surprise at the start of my comment.

"Any suggestions for the rest of our date, then? Since you're such an expert on being normal and all."

I thought about it. "We could rent a movie. And watch it at my house. Charlie's working tonight , so he won't be using the television."

"Alright," Jacob said, almost tossing me the helmet before second guessing my ability to catch it. "Movie rental it is."

***JACOB POV***

I imagined that the old Forks video store paled in comparison to most other rental stores in the continental United States. And Canada.

It was a log cabin, uncarpeted, and run by a man who was probably born way before silent films came into existence.

I'd only been here a couple times – once with Billy, twice with Quil and Embry – and I'd never been impressed. Rentals made it out here a year or so after they were originally "formatted to fit your screen", and even when they got here you could never get them because of the crazy middle school girls who viewed renting the newest arrival as a status symbol.

Bella seemed at home in here, though, browsing the decrepit shelves with a look of extreme interest I just couldn't manage to pull off. I'd left the movie picking out up to her. Personally, I hoped we wouldn't be doing much movie watching…

There were lots of westerns. I hated westerns. Bella better not pick one of those, I thought.

I moved around behind her as she read one of the backs of the black and white films that would never have interested me. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I laid my chin on her shoulder and asked, "Find anything you like?"

She set the DVD back on the shelf. "Not quite. I'll find something though. Just give me a few more minutes."

I let go of her, reluctantly. "Okay. Just let me know when you find something."

I walked to the other side of the store – a max of ten steps to my right – and went through video games from the nineties I was sure you could pick up for free on Amazon. A various array of bulky, plastic games filled some nasty crates. I would've thought this was cool if I still had a Nintendo. Or time to play.

"Is that your girlfriend?" the store owner croaked from behind the counter, leaning on its chipped veneering. I could've sworn there were dents on the counter where his arms lay. Like he did it a lot.

I looked over my shoulder, putting down one of the old game carcasses. "Yeah, she is."

He nodded, "How long have you been together?"

I had the fleeting thought that he was being nosy, but I guessed he didn't get much business and was just trying to start a conversation. "A while." I thought about it, trying not to sound like a horrible boyfriend. "I don't know how long exactly. It feels like a long time. In a good way."

"You look good together," he said gruffly. "A nice couple."

I smiled, "Thank you, sir."

He glanced over to her again. "Isn't she Chief Swan's daughter? Isabella?"

I hadn't heard anyone use her full name in months. "Bella," I corrected.

"Bella. And what's your name?" he asked, his voice thick with age.

"Jacob Black. I live on the reservation."

"I see. Well, you take good care of that girl, son. I'd imagine she's a keeper."

I nodded, turning to Bella as she started towards us with a DVD in her hands.

"Is this one alright?" she asked, unaware that she was interrupting our conversation. I didn't mind.

Nodding, I gestured for her to lay it on the counter, knowing I'd have no verbal objection to anything she picked out. "Perfect." I said.

Paying for the DVD, only two dollars in this hole in the wall, I grasped her hand as we walked back outside. The old man watched us as we went, and I thought I swathe shadow of vague smile spread across his face.

"What were you and that man talking about?" she asked casually as we got on the bike.

I shrugged. "He just said we were cute. Told me to take good care of you."

She wrapped her arms around my torso and held me in a hug, scooting closer up to me on the bike. "You do take good care of me."

"I try," I said, smiling. I drove a little slower on the way back to her house.

***BELLA POV***

Jake moved his motorcycle to the back of the house in case Charlie came home earlier than expected. Charlie was the world's biggest anti-motorcycle advocate and I didn't want to give him any reason to tighten restrictions with Jake, though I knew he'd kill us both if he found out we were flying around Forks on a sleek black death trap.

As soon as Jake walked in the door, he started unbuttoning his dress shirt at top speed.

"Umm," I said, looking over my shoulder at him as I flipped on the light in the kitchen. "I hope you're not getting any ideas, here…"

He smirked. "I'm burning up. These clothes are ridiculous. I forgot how uncomfortable they were. Aren't you sweating?"

"Nope," I said, quickly clearing off the table where Charlie had left an empty beer can and a wrinkled up newspaper.

"Well, I am." He said, throwing his shirt over the back of a kitchen chair and then pulling off his undershirt. Though I was very partial to the clean cut, dressed-up look on Jake – this look was also much appreciated. The entire pack was shirtless all the time, but I felt like I might never get used to it. Their skin was gorgeous – not to mention the added perk of being ripped that came with the transformation.

"I hope you don't mind…" he said, holding on to his undershirt in case I requested he put it back on. I felt silly for staring and turned to the sink.

"Why would I mind?" I asked, trying to sound casual. "You never wear a shirt. I was beginning to think you didn't own any tops at all."

He chuckled. "Not having to buy shirts is evened out by having to buy twice as many pairs of shorts. You know how hard it is to keep everyone's clothes straight when their strewn all over the forest? If any conservationists go scouting through there – they're either gonna think some bears are hosting a fashion show or that the reservation's teenagers have essentially gone wild."

I grinned. "Technically, they _have _gone wild."

He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist like he had at the rental store and growled playfully in my ear. "Yeah, we're absolutely feral. Quil might even have rabies."

Grabbing a dish towel off the counter, I slung it over my shoulder and hit him with it. "_You_ better not have rabies. I'll be thoroughly repulsed."

"Oh, really?" he asked, laughing.

"Yeah. Really."

He planted a swift, barely noticeable kiss on my neck and walked over to the refrigerator. "What do you have to eat?"

I turned around, exasperated. "You just ate!"

Jake shot me a look. "That was a snack."

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "An expensive snack."

"Hey, that steak was well worth what I paid for it. I just needed it to be eight times bigger."

My eyes widened. "That's like eating a whole cow."

"Which I could easily do. And have thought about doing."

I'm pretty sure my face looked pretty disgusted at that moment as I pictured him in wolf form gnawing his way through an entire cow. He chuckled at my reaction and bent over to rummage through the bottom drawers of the fridge. The light from the inside played off of his back and I sat on the edge of the table to watch.

"Sadly, there really aren't any cows around Forks." Jake continued to scavenge through my fridge. "There's not much in here," he commented.

"Because you ate it all! Charlie's not going to be able to afford to feed you forever, by the way. You're a black hole."

"I'll compensate later. Do you have pop tarts?"

I nodded towards the pantry. "Does everyone in the pack eat as much as you? I mean, I know they eat a lot… but I just don't see where you put it all."

"Paul is the worst. He probably eats twice as much as I do. We think it's cause he phases back and forth the most – the whole anger issue thing, you know, but he's getting better. Plus, he works out every day even while he's off duty."

"That's intense."

"Paul's an intense guy." He said nonchalantly.

The pop tarts were gone now. I said a meaningful farewell to my Pringles as soon as he picked up the can.

"How's Seth doing?"

Jake swallowed his mouthful. "Pretty well. Still adjusting, I guess, but he's keeping up. Harry's death affective him pretty strongly and Leah's still AWOL. He has to be the man of his house now – he has no choice - so Sam gives him as much time off as he can. He really likes the pack, though, I think. More than I did at first. It's really been a gain for him rather than a loss. We all support each other." He shrugged. "He's always wanted to be able to hang out with us anyway. Now he has no choice." A bitter smile flashed across his face.

I liked Seth, even though I didn't know him well yet. I wanted the best for him. He still looked a lot younger than the others – a good ten years behind Sam. Maybe five behind Jacob.

"He'll be alright." Jake said, taking in my concerned expression. I nodded.

***JACOB POV***

The movie was boring, like I expected. I couldn't keep up with what was happening – but I attributed that to my lack of effort in paying attention to the screen. Bella and I were lounging on her couch, her body pressed up against mine. I slung my arm over her and pulled her closer. For a moment, her eyes wavered from the screen and she smiled.

The scent of her hair – strawberry, or some kind of flower – filled my senses. It was sweet and subtle, but it drove me crazy nonetheless. Lazily, the played with the ends of her hair, twirling the strands and wrapping them around the tips of my fingers.

"You smell good," I said quietly, just to her. Not that anyone else was around to hear. It just seemed like something you'd say privately.

She turned, touching the bridge of her nose and the side of her face against my collarbone, and inhaled. "So do you."

I smiled. She rested against me like that with her eyes closed for a few moments. Her pale skin was tinted orange by the subtle rays of the setting sun outside. She really was beautiful. I wondered if she knew that.

I wanted to kiss her. We'd kissed before, but we didn't kiss often. I hated to admit it, but I was still scared of breaking her. Though I knew her – and knew her well – it was still hard to gauge out how much she could really handle. How much further she had to go before she was back to normal – or if she'd ever get there. Like Charlie, she hid most of her emotions. Only quick glimpse, flashes of guilt or shock, flickered across her face when she thought I wasn't looking.

Carefully ,testing the waters, I lowered my face to hers and kissed her lips softly, refraining from holding her face in case she wanted to pull away. I left them there, barely applying pressure, for only a second before I began to draw back.

Bella pushed up on her elbow to follow me. Our contact was only broken for a split second and she pressed her soft lips back to mine with appreciated eagerness.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me like she meant it. Kissing her back with an eagerness I knew matched and probably surpassed hers, I wanted to show her that she was _mine_.

We shifted on the couch so we were both laying down, completely disregarding the lulling drawl of the rented movie. I prayed Charlie wouldn't come home any time soon. She slid her leg up over mine, drawing herself closer to me. I wasn't expecting that at all.

I flipped over onto my back and held her against me with both arms, spreading my palms out across her back over the fabric of her shirt. Her hair fell around my face and she breathed into me. Our heartbeats matched, our breaths increasing in speed at an unsteady pace. I was having a real hard time keeping all my instincts at bay. I kept reminding myself had to be gentle.

But man, she was making this hard. Her lips parted and mine followed suit. Her fingers fisted in my hair. I pulled her tighter, pressing her as hard as I could against myself without crushing her. The backs of my eyelids burned red and an animalistic growl almost escaped from the depths of my throat

There was no way for me to tell how much time passed. Everything was a blur when our bodies were so close. I needed to pull away – I was losing control faster with every breath she sent into my mouth – but I couldn't. I dreamt about kissing her like this all the time. How could I stop it now? We couldn't be any closer.

Well, we could. But I couldn't think about that right now. That was dangerous territory. I wouldn't get carried away tonight.

A thin strip of her back was exposed and my roaming fingers found it. She jerked when my warm hands slid across it, but she melted against me even more in response. I couldn't see or hear or feel anything that wasn't Bella. My Bella.

But I didn't want her to regret this. I didn't want to hurt her. Not tonight. I had to stop. I hated being chaste. It was stupid. But Bella needed me to stop.

I turned my head to the right, towards the stupid movie, and her lips slid off mine and onto my cheek. She opened her eyes, lifting and tilting her head in an adorable way of asking what was up.

"I don't want you to regret out first real date," I breathed, chest pumping.

She smiled, dropping her lips back down to touch the side of my face and whispered, "You really think I would regret this?"

My hands made fists filled with the fabric of her shirt and I took a deep breath. "You might."

She slid down so her head was at my shoulder and rested it there. She meant for us to stop, too, but her shirt came a little further up because of the way she moved and I had to close my eyes and move my hands to her upper back to keep from going crazy.

We lay there as the navy sky faded to black. The movie ended and we lay there in silence while I lazily drew tiny circles on her back with my fingers.

Gah. Why did I stop her? I was gonna kick myself for this in the morning.

***BELLAS POV***

Jacob's patrols had been getting longer and the pack was more worn out as a whole. Seth seemed to be just about near breaking point, barely making it up the porch steps before falling unconscious on the couch, followed by Quil and Embry. Tuesday night, Jared came in looking especially pale, and barely made it back outside before throwing up several times. Emily had made it a point to wipe down Sam with wet rags as soon as he sat down at the table to avoid him throwing up or having a heat stroke – something that was supposed to be nearly impossible for wolves that regularly ran temperatures of 108 degrees Fahrenheit.

I had no idea what was going on out in the woods. All Jacob would tell me was that Victoria was using new strategies. He also mentioned they were training up. To keep in shape. Learning new tactics to combat Victoria's. I didn't understand. Did they really need the whole pack to go 100% against just two vampires? I didn't question it out loud. No matter what, I knew that as long as I was with them, I was safe.

"We saw you and Jake getting real cozy a couple nights ago," Paul said with a smirk as he collapsed into a wooden chair. The legs creaked under his weight.

My mouth fell open. Were they watching us?

Paul tapped his temple. "Wolf telepathy, remember? I was wondering when Jake was gonna start getting some action. But dang Bella, maybe you should tone it down. Jake can barely focus out there and I think Seth just about threw up."

My face was on fire.

"Watch it, Paul," Emily called from the couch. She still wasn't allowed to move much due to her risky pregnancy. "Let's not give Bella a hard time." I could've sworn I heard a smile in her voice.

"I'm just saying I didn't know she had it in her."

"Nothing happened," I mumbled embarrassedly.

"That's not what Jake's mind says," he combated.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," Jared called from the porch. "Paul's the absolute worst. Believe me, the last thing the pack wants to see is details about how-"

"Shut up!" Paul called, picking up a lime from the basket in the middle of the table and chucking it out the back door. A sharp thud alerted us to the fact it had made contact.

I put my head in my hands. Note to self: Marrying a wolf means no privacy.

The wolves trickled in and out in hour shifts. They were "training". It seemed ridiculous to me, but I kept my mouth shut. Embry told me Jake would be last to shift out –the last of seven - and he'd have to go back in after an hour, so there wasn't much chance of me seeing him tonight.

I'd brought the camera I'd gotten from Charlie for my eighteenth birthday. I got Jared to take one of Emily and I together. Then I took it on the back porch and got one of the woods and then one of the front of Emily and Sam's quaint place. I didn't think the tiny pixels did the place justice. You couldn't capture how this place made you feel with a digital camera.

Later on I got a pretty funny picture of Quil sleeping upright in a chair and a typical one of Paul eating. I didn't know if they were exactly scrapbook worthy – but at least I was documenting my life how it really was.

"What're the pictures for?" Emily asked as we sat on the couch, talking quietly so we wouldn't wake up Quil.

"A scrapbook. My mom got me on for my last birthday. She wants to see what I've been up to."

Emily giggled. I tilted my head, confused, until she clarified. "And when she goes through your scrapbook and sees nothing but a bunch of shirtless guys…?"

I hadn't thought about that. "Yeah…" I mused, "That might send the wrong kind of message." We laughed together. Emily's scars pulled into a new shape when she laughed – one that appeared less harsh. It was beautiful in a unique sort of way.

"How's your, um, pregnancy going?" I asked awkwardly. I didn't know pregnancy edict. Was it rude to ask?

She smiled and looked down at her belly. "He's certainly active already, which is strange. I wouldn't have expected it soon. The morning sickness is the worst. Sometimes seeing the boys eat so much makes me nauseous – all the food."

I nodded and acted like I understood. Maybe this wasn't the best topic for light conversation. Jessica needed to verse me on pregnancies.

"I'm glad you're still wearing your bracelet," she commented, gesturing for my wrist. I held it out to her and she inspected it carefully and smiled, lending me back my arm.

"I've been meaning to ask you about it, actually…" I started, letting my eyes wander over its intricate patterns. "Is there something, I don't know, different about this? This bracelet, I mean."

Emily nodded. Her hands rested delicately across her stomach where the tiniest bit of the evidence of her pregnancy was starting to show. "I told you, remember? Quileute magic. It makes you strong."

I didn't understand. "What do you mean strong?"

The corners of her lips pulled up in a slight smile. "It's a tribal secret…it's hard to explain. I don't know if I could, even if I tried. Not yet. Not in a way you'd understand."

"I'm pretty good with weird," I said, quoting what Sam and Jacob had said when I first learned about the pack.

She laughed quietly, a whispered chuckle. "Yes, well, this is a little different."

I waited for her to continue, but she didn't. I offered a little more. "Jacob wants me to wear it. One time, when I'd taken it off, he saw it and put it back on for me."

Emily's forehead creased, "When was that?"

I racked my brain. "I don't know…eight days? Nine?"

Emily nodded and looked down at her own hands to the bracelet she also wore, which, to my surprise, was the identical twin of my own. I hadn't taken much notice of it before.

"You have one, too." I remarked.

"I never take it off." She said. I couldn't figure out the added implications to her words.

"Emily, I-"

"Did Jake tell you the legend?" she interrupted.

Frowning, I tried to remember it. "He told me…that a wolf gave the bracelet to a dying girl. It kept her alive until it was time for her to die and she gave it back." It didn't make any sense.

"Well," Emily said, staring out the window to the forest. It was raining outside, and the tiny droplets of water echoed off the roof and trickled swiftly down the window panes. "Reality varies from the legend. But only slightly."

Again, I waited for her to continue.

"I'll explain later, Bella. I promise. I just don't think now is a good time. Not yet." Her answer was solemn and serious.

I had to admit I was frustrated. If there was anything I hated, it was being kept in the dark. I was just about to push her to tell when Sam walked in from the back porch. He was sweating and his shoulder was bleeding – like he'd been scratched by a thorn. It had already started to heal, but the dried blood remained.

Emily jumped up from the couch and ran to him. She began to inspect his shoulder in a caring, gentle way and turned to get a towel when he grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back to him, placing his hands on either side of her face and kissing her in a way that once would have made me hurt.

I could relate to their love, now, though. Because of the love I had with Jacob. I averted my eyes to give them some privacy – but the sweetness of their relationship made me smile. Rising from the couch, I filled up a glass of water and walked over to where Quil was sleeping in a chair. When I touched his shoulder, he jerked awake and, seeing it was me, relaxed and rubbed his eyes.

"It's your turn," I said quietly, handing him the glass of water. I wasn't sure why I'd felt compelled to bring him water, but his appreciation was evident. Watching him down it, I guessed it was because I felt bad about waking him – an hour of sleep wasn't enough to compensate for what they must've been going through in the woods – and I could see how tired he still was.

"Thanks," he said, handing me back the glass and getting up to leave. Sam and Emily stood by the back door, arms around each other, Emily's face pressed against his chest – ignoring the blood. Sam turned his eyes away from Emily as Quil passed. He spoke in Quileute, a phrase I didn't understand, and Quil nodded.

Sighing, I listened for the ripping sound that told me what he was now. A strange, knowing feeling came over me. I was part of this now. The pack was my family. We were all in this together- Emily and me especially. I was healing; I didn't have to be taken care of as much anymore. Now it was my job to start taking care of them in return.

* * *

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	28. Almost Done

**CHP 28- ALMOST DONE **

This semester, my physics teacher and I had had a sort of unspoken agreement. I would sit in the back of the class and keep to myself, read and reread my dilapidated copy of _Wuthering Heights_, fudge all the homework assignments, fail all the tests and end up with a solid B-. That was one good thing about Edward leaving – the staff of Forks High School was so terrified of breaking me after my obvious depression that I got a lot of leeway.

Not knowing what the bracelet meant still bothered me, but all the hype about graduation was pretty affective at drowning it out.

It was Friday, the day before graduation. The entire senior class was one collective, obnoxious Graduation Tornado of gowns and outfits and diplomas and colleges and nothing that I cared about because none of the conversations involved Jacob.

"BELLA. Oh my word. Please tell me you've picked out your outfit for tomorrow night!" Jessica's voice rang shrilly through the crowded hallway. I almost dropped my books as someone knocked my elbow in passing.

"Um, yeah, I have." I said, awkwardly readjusting my books as we walked towards the lunchroom.

"Good! Finally. Tell me everything about it!" She gushed.

Racking my brain, I tried to remember, details clouded by the process I'd gone through of picking one out.

"It's a dress." I braced myself for the predictable, condescending remark bound to follow my weak reply.

Jessica rolled her eyes and elbowed her way through the doorway. I fell a few steps behind her as I waited for the doors to clear so I could walk through without bumping into anyone.

"Well, obviously, Bella. Don't be so dense. I want _details_. Color, cut, length, the works!" We set our stuff down on our regular table and made our way over to the lunch line. Jessica was so hyper that she practically skipped across the tile. I was relieved that after today, I'd never have to awkwardly walk across this crowded room with my arms crossed and my eyes to the floor ever again.

"Um, it's red. It might be a v-neck. It's got some buttons…"

Jessica slammed her lunch tray animatedly onto the counter. "You are a really sad excuse for a girl."

I grabbed the next tray in the stack, knocking off some left over crumbs in the corner, and laid it down carefully next to Jessica's. "I think you've told me that before."

"Someone needs to!" she cried, exasperated.

I smiled to myself. In a weird way, I was going to miss Jessica. She was never particularly nice, but she would always be honest – warranted or not – and I could at least be appreciative of that.

"Oh! I almost forgot to tell you! I'm throwing a huge graduation party tomorrow night! It's gonna be fierce! Picture this: hott guys, flashing lights, blaring music, amazing food. Yeah. It's gonna be that good." Her eyes kind of glazed over in a really psychotic way.

Immediately, I tried to back out, throwing up my pathetic antisocial shield. "I don't know, Jess…"

"Oh please, Bella." She argued, snapping out of her party-throwing psycho gaze. "You have to come! You don't have a choice! It's _graduation_. This party is essential to your overall experience."

"I have plans with Jake," I made up.

Her eyes lit up immediately and her mouth made a tiny little O shape. "Bella. You HAVE to bring Jacob to the party! We could all finally talk to him. And he could bring his friends, too! The ones you hang out with every day! Everyone wants to meet them! It would be SO great! Do you know what this would do for my reputation? No one would ever forget this party! PLEASE, promise me you'll bring them!"

"Jess, they're really busy. Besides…"

"Bella." She turned towards me with a death glare. "Why are you fighting this whole graduation thing? It's happening. Get over it. Have fun. This is your last chance to party. And you can bring Jacob!" she emphasized the last part by bulging her eyes and making some kind of motion with her hand.

I sighed into half-hearted submission. "Sure, Jess, I'll come to the party. For an hour, at the most. And I make no promises about the p- Jake's friends. They're crazy busy, like I said."

She squealed and clapped her hands. "This is gonna be SO huge."

Great. Another thing to dread.

The line wasn't moving very fast, and I figured this was as good a time as any to ask. Especially if it kept Jessica from forcing any more plans on top of me. "Is it rude to ask someone how their pregnancy is going?" I asked.

Jessica snorted. "I depends on if they're actually pregnant or not, Bella."

I shook my head. "It's Emily."

Blank stare.

"You know, Emily. The one you're making me throw a baby shower for?"

Jessica exploded. "OH MY _WORD!_ I almost totally forgot about your reservation friend's _PREGNANCY._ Bella, like, come on, why didn't you remind me?"

"Well…she's gonna be pregnant for a while…"

Jessica ignored me as she animatedly grabbed a pre-made turkey and cheese. "You're probably, like, totally behind on the planning now, right? You're so lucky you have me."

"I sent the invitations out. The ones Angela helped me pick out."

Jessica nodded. "That's a start at least. You aren't, like, totally helpless I guess. When is the shower again?"

"After graduation," I answered.

"Oh, really, Bella? 'Cause I thought it was tonight." She said sarcastically.

I cleared my throat, tracing a finger around the edge of my lunch tray while we waited for the line to move. "August, I think. Maybe the twentieth?"

"What? That only gives us two months to plan everything!" She looked thoroughly undone. Dramatically, she took a deep, soothing breath. "We'll just have to keep it simple."

Maybe I should've waited even later to tell her. "Simple is good," I reassured her.

"I'll call you after graduation and discuss details. Okay?"

I nodded. When it came to this, I was at her command. Who else was I going to find to help? Charlie? I had no other option.

The table was crowded, as always. Eric sat next to Angela, wear a purple button down shirt and silky, matching tie layered with a vest, trying to pull off some kind of weird card trick that Lauren wasn't buying in to. Angela had a pink sweater and her signature glasses. She, of course, had her yearbook camera thrown around her neck. I didn't know why – the yearbooks had already gone out – but I guess after four years of toting that thing around every day she might get attached to it.

I sat next to Mike – my usual spot. He was wearing his letterman jacket – though come to think of it I wasn't really sure what the letter was for. Mike was no track star.

Taking a moment to take in what Jessica was wearing, she had a spaghetti strap tank with a sweater on top. It looked very summery...but it was still raining outside. It didn't matter to her, though. She dressed for the seasons whether they came or not.

I took a second to soak all of it in: the nasty smells, the sticky floor, the random international flags hanging from the ceiling. I'd only been here a year and a half – but they had definitely been the two most…eventful years of my life. I liked Forks. Love it, actually. I was almost sad to see Forks High fade into my past.

Almost.

I wouldn't miss Lauren. I wouldn't miss the homework. I probably wouldn't miss Mike. Once I was out of here I could spend all of my time with Jacob. I wanted that more than anything else.

"So," Jessica leaned closer to me and whispered. "Mike says you and Jake are sleeping together."

The water I was drinking got stuck in my throat and I started choking. Sputtering and spraying my own lunch tray in water, the entire table turned towards me to gawk. I tried to bring air into my lungs, but every time I tried I'd cough again.

"Bella, are you alright?" Angela asked, the only one at the table truly concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, thanks." I responded as Mike held out a napkin to me. Mortified, I took it and wiped myself up as best I could. "I'm _not_ sleeping with Jacob." I said firmly.

Jessica shook her head, smirking, "That's not what Mike said."

"How would Mike even _know_, Jessica?" I questioned, stunned.

She shrugged as if that was clearly beside the point. "Mike, didn't you say Bella and Jake were sleeping together?"

Mike swallowed a gulp of Coke and turned towards us. "Yeah."

My face seared with embarrassment. "We're not!"

"You had a backpack full of his clothes." He said flippantly.

"Just his shoes!" I cried. "He left them at my house!"

"Sure," he said, clearly displaying his lingering jealousy from the other day.

"I'm. not. sleeping. with. Jacob." I insisted. Jessica and Mike looked at each other in a way that blatantly said we-don't-buy-that. I wanted to smack them both. My five second nostalgic moment was long gone. Time for high school to be over.

"And I mean, like, Bella. Seriously. I totally don't blame you. He's gorgeous."

I dropped my face down into my hands and waited for lunch to be over.

* * *

All week I had dreaded the inevitable hug and tear fest at the end of today. Jessica, who had been nothing but sunshine all week, burst into hysterics as soon as the last bell rang. She hugged all of our lunch table twice – Mike maybe four or five times – before she moved on to hugging people she barely knew.

"Bella, I can't believe you're not balling! This is, like, so sad! We'll never be here again!" she cried.

Mike came up to me after that, looking extremely awkward and maybe even still a little bit mad – but he couldn't justify ignoring me on the last day of school. "It's been crazy." He said. "I'll see you around the store, though, right? Summer shift?"

"Yep," I responded with what I hoped appeared like a genuine smile. "You know how much I love selling hiking boots. Just can't get enough."

He gave a weak half-smile before moving to hug me. I stepped backwards just the tiniest bit – probably undetectable by anyone else watching our exchange – and Mike dropped his arms into a handshake.

"Bella!" Eric Yorkie yelled, stepping in between Mike and me. I smiled, remembering them acting out the same gestures when I'd first come to Forks as Isabella Swan, the chief's daughter. "Remember that time at the prom last year when it was awesome and like a casino? That was such a good memory!"

"Yeah, Eric," I humored. "So cool."

Angela even teared up a bit, which surprised me. I knew how much she was looking forward to moving on. She wanted to start her own photography firm.

Remembering Renee's orders to document my life, I took out my camera and got a junior to snap a picture of all of us: Jessica, Angela, Eric, Mike, Me, Lauren, who invited herself into the picture, and Tyler, who almost crushed me with a van my first month at school.

Nodding my thanks to our amateur photographer, I clicked review on the camera and scrolled back and forth between this picture and the first picture I'd ever taken. It was of Angela, Eric, Mike and Jessica standing in the parking lot on my birthday.

Jessica spied over my shoulder. "Wow! We look so much older, now, right? That's so crazy!"

I gave her a weak smile and she walked away, tearing up yet again about out apparent transformations. I saw no difference in the two pictures. Nothing about graduating made you older.

Later, after the hurricane that was our class finally pulled themselves away from each other until tomorrow when we saw each other again and broke down just the same, I walked to my car with Angela, the excess junk I'd accumulated in my locker over the year adding a significant weight to my backpack and slowing me down. My jacket hood was pulled up – but I knew it was useless. Forks rain knew no boundaries.

"Bella?" Angela asked quietly.

I glanced at her quickly. She was staring at the ground, watching for puddles. "Yeah?"

"Are you really sleeping with Jacob?" The question was nearly inaudible with the roaring of a hundred different cars leaving the school.

"_No_," I emphasized. "I'm not."

"Okay," she said. "I didn't think you would be. I'll see you tomorrow at graduation!"

I knew she hadn't meant any harm by it, but it bothered me that she felt she had to ask.

When my truck rumbled to a stop outside my house, I kicked my car door open and stomped up to the front door. The speculation of today had put me in a bad mood.

I dropped my heavy backpack in a kitchen chair and yanked open the cabinet filled with drinking glasses. Filling it halfway with tap water, I took two angry sips and dumped the rest of it down the sink.

"Being kind of noisy, aren't you?" Charlie asked. I jumped a mile. I hadn't noticed his cruiser outside.

Turning, he was standing behind me in jeans and a dark blue sweater. It was strange seeing him out of his uniform. I did a double take.

"Graduation tomorrow," he said in a mock chipper voice. I nodded and made a pathetic noise a sick cat might attempt.

"Bad day?" he asked gruffly.

"I guess." I answered.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really," I answered, trying not to be overly brisk but having nothing to say. "I guess you're not working tonight?"

He grunted in response.

We both stood there, looking at the floor, Charlie standing with his hands in his pockets and me with an empty glass leaning up against the kitchen counter, for a long, uncomfortable minute before I made the movement to walk around him.

"We need to talk," he said before I could break free to my room.

"About?"

"Well, you know, maybe I should've asked you sooner, but, what are you doing after graduation? What're your, uh, life goals? Aspirations? Umm, college plans?"

Great.

"I don't know, Char- Dad." I replied, shrugging. "I don't really have any concrete plans."

"Well…do you want to make some plans? We could sit down and right out a list or something…"

I gave him a withering look. "Have you been reading parent-of-college-graduate books?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Your mother sent one to me in the mail. How am I doing?"

"Horribly," I answered, only half joking. But now was as good a time as any to break the news of postponing college, so….

"I was actually thinking about taking the year off. My acceptance to Forks College of Fishery and Forestry will still be wide open when I'm ready for it, I'm positive." Not gonna happen.

"You hate fish." Charlie retorted. "I couldn't get you to go fishing with me after the first go around and you want go to fishery college?"

"It's a joke, Dad," I said, turning back around to fill up my glass again. I needed something to do.

"Oh," he said, rocking back on his heels. "So. A year off. Are you waiting for Jacob?"

I glanced over my shoulder. "What?"

"Jacob. He's a year behind you, isn't he? Are you, um, waiting for him or something?"

I sighed. "Jake's not going to college, Dad. He's got a…permanent job on the reservation."

Charlie's eyebrows rose. "A permanent job?"

I sucked at lying. "Yeah. He, um, works in the woods. With Sam and some other guys. Like…conservation…I guess…" I shut my eyes tightly, feeling Charlie's gaze on the back of my neck.

"Huh," Charlie mused. "I wouldn't have pegged Jacob for a forest type of guy."

"Yep," I said, trying to keep my voice light and throwing another quick glance over my shoulder. "He really loves the…trees…"

Charlie's eyes squinted, like he was skeptical. "I wonder why Billy didn't mention it."

"It's pretty low key, I guess."

"Huh," Charlie said again. "Well, good for Jake."

I nodded.

"So…. no plans for college." He repeated.

"Right."

He looked at the floor for a while, then at the counter, then out the window. I waited. "And you think that's the best choice for you?"

He was taking this better than expected. "I haven't told Renee yet. I mean, Mom."

"You're an adult now. It's your call."

I kept waiting for him to start laughing and yell, "Surprise!" but he never did.

"I could pay rent," I offered. I had some money in the bank from my job at the Newton's store.

Charlie waved me off. "I'm overdue for some of your housing expenses, aren't I? Missed a couple years."

I smiled, weakly.

"Jacob might start having to pay for his own food though. He's wringing us dry."

"I'll tell him," I promised.

Charlie gave me some space to get organized again and I drug my backpack up to my room and flopped it down on my bed. I felt weird. Free from the responsibility of school but weighted by the impending responsibility of the pack. Confused at Charlie's unrequited acceptance of my future plans – or lack thereof – and also grateful I hadn't had to fight for what I wanted. Still frustrated about this bracelet I wasn't allowed to take off, nervous for walking on stage during tomorrows graduation, excited for the next time I'd see Jake, which should be tonight. Too many emotions for one person.

Picking up my mini trashcan, I unzipped my bag and starting making two piles: stuff to keep and things to chunk.

I kept my battered copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ along with some pens I hadn't ripped the grippers off or and some mechanical pencils that still had lead in them.

The smashed granola bar from the bottom of my bag was the first thing to go into the discard pile, followed by a stack of old biology flashcards and a calculator with missing buttons. Some notebooks filled with notes I once though were crucial were now in the trash facing the same fate at the dried out highlighters.

After I'd scraped the last of the pencil shavings and stray crumbs from the bottom of my bag into the trash, I took a deep breath. I'd never have to use this bag for school again. I rolled it up – it had become flimsy over the years – and stashed it away in the top of my closet.

I had picked up the trashcan and set it back down next to my desk when I saw what had gotten lost behind it.

The picture I'd stolen off of Jacob's wall – the one of my dead self paling in comparison to is obvious happiness – crumbled and forsaken. I surveyed it again, seeing even more of a contrast the second time around. It made me sick.

The familiar knock on my window no longer made me jump, and I turned to unlock it, crumpling up the photo in my fist.

I couldn't help but smile and Jake climbed in and immediately wrapped his arms around me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. Even though he was warm, a shiver rocked through my body as a cold gust of wind from the open window snaked around my body. He reached behind him and shut the window without pulling away. Leaning up against the pane, skin immune to the ice-like glass, he pulled me against him. Trailing his arms up and down my sides, he whispered, "You're done with high school now." His nose pressed against the skin behind my ear and a chill unrelated to the temperature rippled down my spine.

"Finally," I whispered back against him.

He broke away from me, keeping his hands on my waist and said, "I thought you weren't looking forward to it before over."

I all honesty, I waffled back and forth. "After today, I was ready to be done forever."

He pulled back a little further to take in my expression. "Rough day?"

"Not the best," I replied bitterly. "Lots of fake tears and superficial reminiscing."

Jake nodded like he understood.

"Plus, more or less of the entire Forks High population thinks we're sleeping together."

Jake grinned. "That's like, what, thirty kids?"

I slapped his arm. "Even if it was, I'd still be mad."

He leaned forward and placed his head against my neck beneath by jaw bone. For a second, I almost forgot my anger. "I don't know why you let it get to you," he mused. Waves of his breath stroked my collarbone. "Half the pack speculates, too."

I sighed. "That doesn't help, Jacob."

"I'm just saying. And it doesn't matter, does it? :et them think what they want."

"I hate the people just assume."

He cut me off by kissing me again and my argument was lost. His hand burned fiery trails up my ribcage as they slid up to my arms still wrapped around his neck. I loosened my grip as he tugged on my arms. He stopped, though, when he felt something balled up in my right hand.

"What's that?" he asked. Blushing, realizing what I was still holding, I wished he would've just ignored it. I didn't want to answer. In an attempt to distract him, I kissed him again, more languidly and purposeful then before, focusing only on him-

But he pulled away. "Bella," he said. I sighed.

Taking my fist, he gently unwound my pale fingers from the wadded up photograph. He took it, unfolded it, and stared into my face when he saw what it was.

"You stole this?"

I cringed. "stealing is a harsh word. I prefer borrowed."

"Yeah, borrowed and destroyed," he admonished. He turned around and used the window sill to iron out the pitiful picture. "I like this one, too."

"It's not good." I mumbled, shaking my head. "I look dead."

"No, you don't," he argued, surveying the picture. "Maybe a little sad, but not dead."

"I don't like it," I repeated stubbornly.

"Well, when I look at it, and I look at you now, I can see how far you've come. How much better you are now. It proves to me I'm not a total failure at putting you back together." He smiled ruefully. "That's why I liked it."

It was sweet, but I wasn't buying it. "Let's just take a new one."

He nodded, leaning back towards me and I felt his jaw moved against my hair as he spoke. "Fine, we can take another one But no more taking my stuff without permission, alright?"

I agreed.

* * *

Review!


	29. Graduation

**It's finals week, baby! (Well, it was finals week when I started this).**

Why am I not studying? Oh, yeah. Because I'm obsessed.

Fanfiction is literally going to kill me.

* * *

**CHP 29 – GRADUATION**

I was more nervous for graduation than I wanted to admit. Even Jake's steady breathing couldn't calm me down enough for me to get a good night's sleep. After tossing and turning for a good two hours, Jake rolled over and groaned.

"Sorry," I whispered, withering. I felt horrible for keeping him up.

He shifted so that he was facing me with his whole body. "Nervous?"

I nodded in the dark, answering verbally when I remembered he couldn't see me. Scooting closer, he threw a heavy arm over me and pulled me closer. "Just try and sleep," he grunted. "Just concentrate on right here, right now." Slowly, he began tracing shapes on the skin of my arm. I closed my eyes and made pictures of the tracings in my mind, listening to his breathing slow and trying to match my heartbeat to his. When he dozed off, I spent a good amount of time trying to figure out what he smelled like: almonds, pine trees, rain, hot sun, Dial soap – all mixed together to create a scent uniquely Jacob. It was silly, but it kept me from panicking. Eventually, when the clocked glowed out the early morning hour, I fell asleep.

In the morning, I wasn't feeling much better. Breakfast was out of the question for my uneasy stomach, but I brought what Charlie has fixed for me – a special graduation breakfast of eggs and burnt bacon – up for Jake, who stayed curled up in my bed making up for the hours I'd kept him awake.

"The pack's on duty all morning, but I promise I'll be there for your graduation." He said as I returned with the plate of food.

"That's fine," I responded distractedly. I would be glad for the chance to clear my head.

Jake got up out of bed. Placing a hand on the side of my face, he planted a very sweet kiss on my nervous lips. "You're going to do great today! All you have to do is walk."

"Easy for you to say." Walking was the worst of it.

He smiled. "I'll be there supporting you. And Charlie, too."

I turned my head towards my closet, where the now daunting red dress hung from the door post.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked, following my gaze.

I rocked back on my heels and Jacob dropped his hand from my face while he studied my expression. "Just having second thoughts, I guess."

Jacob froze. He stopped breathing.

"About the dress!" I hurried to clarify. His shoulders relaxed a little bit.

"Oh," He said, trying to hide his tone of relief. "Right."

"I mean…the whole dress and heels things…it's just one more thing to worry about." I bit my lip.

"That's no problem," Jake spoke casually, walking over to my closet. After rummaging around for a few seconds, he pulled out a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved shirt. "Wear this."

My shoulder hung. "I can't dress casually for graduation. Jess will kill me."

"No one's going to see, right? You'll all be wearing gowns."

"That's what I thought, too, but…"

"Seriously, Bells. Just wear what you're comfortable in. You'll ruin the whole thing if you're fidgeting the whole time because you can't handle wearing a dress."

I scoffed. "I can _handle _it. I'd just prefer-"

"Sure, sure." He said dismissively. "That's what I meant." He hung the shirt and jeans on the doorknob and crouched down to find some shoes. Black converse.

"Jake…"

"Do you want to wear a dress?"

"No."

"Then there you go. This is plan B." He gestured to the more casual clothes. He inclined himself towards me, waiting for me to change my mind, but as I crossed my arms and nodded, accepting this new outfit of choice, he smiled and moved the red dress to the back of my closet where it belonged.

"I'd rather no one else see you in that dress, anyway." He said quietly into my ear, smiling. "We should save that one for a more special occasion – just you and me."

I blushed.

We stood there for a moment before I remembered Jessica's party. "Hey, um, Jessica is having a party after graduation. She wants you to come. The rest of the guys, too. I know you're busy, but I promised I would tell you."

Jake grinned. "A party? I haven't been to a party in forever."

"Yeah, well, here's your chance." I grimaced. "I'm only going for Jessica."

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, I really cant see you going to a party."

I made a face.

He smiled. "I'll try to come, Bells. It sounds fun, but I can't make any promises though. Sam makes the calls, remember?"

I nodded.

"I really do have to go, though. I'll see you tonight!"

"Shower before you show up," I teased. "It's a formal event."

"Sure, sure." He said again before planting a goodbye kiss on my lips and exiting.

If I was opting out on the formal entire, I should at least do something with my hair, I thought.

It'd been a while since I'd had time to enjoy a long, hot shower and I relished in the opportunity. On the way home from school last Monday, I'd uncharacteristically treated myself and invested in some good smelling shower gel: Mango Mandarin. I let the sweet smell of citrus soak into my skin and saturate the moist air of the bathroom before toweling off. Instead of letting my hair dry naturally, I blow dried it out, leaving it in subtle, soft waves. I never straightened it – too much outside mist for it to do any good.

Jessica would probably be less critical of my outfit should she find out if I was wearing a little makeup, so I decided to spring for it. A tiny bit of lip gloss, blush and mascara. No foundation, no eye shadow. I could only do so much at one time.

Charlie knocked on the bathroom door and I opened it.

"You, um, all ready for the big day?" he asked, leaning against the doorpost just like Jake had when he brought me home after I'd recklessly thrown myself off a cliff.

"Getting there," I said, tucking hair behind my ear like I did whenever I felt uneasy.

"Your mom sent something in the mail for you," he said, holding out an envelope. "For graduation."

I took the envelope, smiling slightly. "That was nice of her."

"Yeah," he said gruffly. "It was."

We stood there a few moments, wordlessly.

"It smells like an orange grove in here." He said gruffly.

I nodded. "New soap."

"Smells…nice."

Awkward silence.

"I guess I'll leave you to your…girl preparations, then." He said inelegantly and left.

I closed the door of the bathroom and leaned against the counter, ripping open the corner of my envelope from Renee. I don't think she'd ever sent me a letter before – we usually corresponded through emails.

There was a card and a letter. The card was obviously from Hallmark, or somewhere like it. A graduation cap was featured on the front, surrounded by glitter and a perfectly rolled diploma. The inside read, _"You did it!"_ in a really big font. My mom had sloppily signed her name and Phil had scratched his name at the bottom, too. I smiled at the gesture.

The letter was written on a folded up sheet of loose leaf paper.

It read:

_Bella,_

_I can't believe you've grown up so fast. Graduation already! I'm sorry I can't be there for the big day – but knowing you, you'd probably want less of a crowd, even if it meant my missing out._

I smiled.

_We haven't emailed in a while. I suspect you're busy with school and your friend- I hope you're having fun in Forks! We're busy, too! Phil is doing great down here in Jacksonville. The weather is great here- summer sun all the way. I can just feel the vitamin B soaking up into my pours. I wish I could send some of it to you – I know you aren't getting any of it in Forks. (Maybe you should take a supplement)? The guy down at the organic food market told me all about supplements – iron, calcium, potassium – and he said they were really good for you. I'm thinking about buying some. But I'm getting off track, aren't I?_

My smile had grown bigger. Typical, scattered Renee.

_Part of me regrets the choices I made in life, a consequence of them being that I can't be there for you today like I wish I could be. I'm grateful that, despite my choices, you've always been able to take care of yourself (and Charlie, too, I bet, now that you're there). _

_I hope you're making the right choices for you. I know you always have – you've always been a tiny little adult. I just hope now, with the world ahead of you, that you consider all your options. You can do anything you want. Don't limit yourself to Forks, if that's not where you want to stay. There's a whole world out there for you to see. _

_Enough with the heavy. Email me back! I want to hear more about Jacob. You mentioned him in your last email a month or so ago. So he's your boyfriend, huh? I'd love to see a picture. I bet he's cute. Just make sure he's good to you. Don't forget your other friends. Maybe you could bring him to Jacksonville this summer! _

_Phil wants me to tell you good luck today for him. Tell your dad I said hello. _

_Love,_

_Renee_

_PS – I know you'll be stressed about the walking. Wear comfortable shoes!_

To my surprise, my eyes got a little misty. I missed mom. This letter was so her, especially the parts concerning vitamin supplements. I made a mental note to make plans to visit her after all the chaos settled down.

Unplugging my hairdryer and looping the cord around it, I returned to my room and plunked down in front of my desktop to type out an email. The monitor fizzed to life as I turned it on and I waited until the screen lit up before I clicked on my empty inbox. I felt a pang of guilt when I realized how long it had been since I'd talked to her. I glanced at the clock. Noon. Graduation at four. I had some time for a real email.

Before I realized it, I'd written a good two pages. I skimmed over it, needlessly checking for grammatical errors.

_Mom-_

_I got your letter today. You're right, I am nervous. I can't believe I graduate today, but I guess I'm ready. Good call on the comfortable shoes._

_Jacob is great. You would love him. Charlie does. Jake has a lot of friends on the reservation, so I hang out there almost every day. They're a unique bunch, to say the least. I'd probably describe them as a collective whirlwind of testosterone and food. They're all guys and they eat so much. They're all real characters._

_Jacob's two best friends are Quil and Embry. Quil is great, but he hits on me sometimes and that can get awkward. He's pretty sure of himself. _

_I'm not so sure about Embry – I haven't quite figured him out yet. He's probably the nicest of the group- but he doesn't talk as much as some of the others. The three of them have been friends since long before I moved back here, but they've always been friendly to me as the "newcomer". _

_Jake has some older friends, too. Jared is hilarious. He's always joking around. Even when he got sick earlier this year, he was nothing but laughs and snide remarks. His girlfriend's name is Kim, but I haven't met her yet. _

_Paul's the second oldest. I guess most people would describe him as a gym nut. He works out for hours every day! I've never seen anyone so ripped. When I first met him, he had a real temper – but he's calmed down a lot since then. _

I smiled as I remember his explosion when I'd first guessed the pack's secret, and continued reading.

_Sam is kind of like the leader of the gang. He's a good bit older than most of us – he's married to Emily, and I spend the majority of my time at their house. Everyone does. It's really convenient and it's the only house we can all fit in comfortably. Houses on the reservation run small and all the guys are huge. _

_I've made a new best friend since I last emailed you. Sam's wife, Emily Uley. She's so nice and she loves Jake and all his friends just as much as I do. We get along really well. I've never found another girl I could relate to. She and I have a lot in common. And get this – she's pregnant( don't worry, we don't have that in common)! I'm giving her a baby shower (That's a long story. Way out of my comfort zone.) Crazy Jessica from school offered to help me. I hope I don't regret it later. Even though I'm kind of already regretting it now._

_I almost forgot about Seth Clearwater. He's the newest guy to the whole friendship circle. He's fifteen and he loves Jake to death (I don't blame him). He's growing up really fast. _

_That's a quick synopsis of everyone I've been hanging out with the past few months. They're great, really. I'm glad to have found them all. _

_I don't know so much about supplements. Just look into it a little more before you start downing a bunch of herb and vitamin pills, okay?_

The next part was brief. I'd hesitated before typing it, wondering if I should include it or not.

_Forks is the best place for me, Mom. I guess I'm a lot like Dad in that sense. I'm comfortable here. _

_Anyway, between school, work, and the reservation it's been pretty crazy. I'll be better about keeping up with emails, I promise. Thanks again for the letter. Do some kind of rain-dance that makes it so I won't fall down while getting my diploma, please. I'll need all the help I can get. _

_Talk to you soon,_

_Bella_

_PS – I'll try to bring Jake down there sometime. As soon as he gets some time off from work. _

I tapped my fingernails against the wooden surface of my desk before pressing enter. I was always pretty bad at typing out emails – even to Renee. After pressing send, I looked at the clock again. Three hours until graduation. This afternoon was going to kill me.

* * *

For once, it wasn't raining, and I was relieved.

"Jake coming?" Charlie asked gruffly.

"Yeah, he should be." I answered, quickly scanning the parking lot for his motorcycle.

He nodded in response. Charlie gave me a swift side-hug before leaving me at the school gym while he went around front to enter the graduation with the rest of the parents. For a second, I had to do a double-take when I saw Charlie standing in line with the rest of the parents. I'm sure to any other person that he looked like he fit right in, but I, as his overly perceptive daughter, thought he looked out of place. Maybe it was because I never really considered him to be a real parent. Hadn't I been taking on the parent role since I was ten? I shrugged and turned to walk through the heavy doors of the gymnasium.

"BELLA! Oh my word that gown looks awesome on you. It totally matches mine."

I humored her and gave a half-hearted laugh, not knowing If she was kidding or not. "Yeah, I know. Twins, right?"

"I'm so nervous for my graduation speech that I might puke! But I'm so ready to graduate! And my party tonight, remember? I hope you're bringing Jake!"

"He said he'd try. No promises."

Jess squealed. "Wear something hott, Bella! It's gonna be a crazy party!"

"Crazy?" I asked, skeptically.

"Totally. Intense." She said seriously. I was beginning to feel kind of sick. I hoped Jake could come with me.

"Bella!" Angela called, jogging up to us in her yellow cap and gown. She threw her arms around me in a rare hugging gesture. "You look awesome!"

"Thanks," I answered sheepishly. "So do you."

"I feel like it's been so long since I've seen you guys!" Jessica interjected.

"Jess, it was yesterday." Angela replied.

"I know! But I feel like the whole world has changed since then. Like we're so grown up now. You know?"

Angela and I looked at each other and smiled.

"Anyway, graduation starts soon! We better find our seats!"

As I sat down, I craned my neck to look around for Jake. The sea of parents had already started trickling in through the back. I hoped he would get here soon.

We were sitting in alphabetical order. Mike sat one seat in front of me, Jessica Stanley to my left.

"Bella, why are you wearing _converse_?"

I stuttered.

"Gah, you are, like, so helpless. We discussed this! You have deviated from the outfit agenda!" She complained.

Mike turned around, coming to my rescue."Don't worry, Bella. I'm not wearing heels, either."

Jess shot him a look and he turned around.

"I just thought they would be more comfortable." I explained.

Jess let out an exasperated sigh and pulled out her speech note cards to review.

The ceremony was about to begin. Angela shot me a huge grin that was a mix of nerves and excitement. My stomach was in knots. Jake wasn't here yet. I could see Charlie sitting close to the back, looking at a program and bouncing his knee at high speed. I could tell he was nervous for me.

Jessica was rocking back and forth in her seat – flipping through her note cards at a rapid, erratic pace. I was glad my nerves didn't come through in a way that made me look psychotic.

"Good afternoon, everyone," Our principal addressed from behind the podium decked in cheap blue and yellow streamers. "Welcome to the Forks High School Graduation Ceremony. Please turn off all cell phones and pagers. Also…"

His voice became a blur as he ran through typical assembly etiquette.

Turning, I scanned the gym for Jake again. As I turned around, the back door opened. My face broke out into a grin.

Jacob was wearing the same jeans he'd worn on our date to White Wolf. With them, he had on another button down shirt – tucked in with a wide belt - that made him seem ten times older than he already looked. He'd obviously just taken a shower because his hair was still a tiny bit damp. Immediately, he spotted me in the crowd and winked.

My joy soon turned to panic.

Following him into the gym was the _entire_ rest of the pack: Quil, dressed similarly to Jake, holding a smiling, bow-clad Clair. Embry, in a red polo tucked into dark jeans. Paul and Jared, both sporting khakis and button down shirts. Jared in a white t-shirt overlaid with a black sports coat and jeans. Seth in a purple polo and khakis. He had on a nice, silver watch and I smiled when I realized I'd seen it on Harry before him. Sam was wearing a _tie,_ along with the rest of his nice ensemble. Emily came in after, along with Naye – both wearing sundresses that played off their gorgeously tanned skin. All the boys were wearing shoes – their tattoos covered up – their hair in varying states of clean and wet.

My jaw hit the floor. Not only were they all dressed in actual _clothes_, but they were_ here_. At my _graduation_. Right now. Why were they not in the woods?

They found the row Charlie was sitting on. His face was just as surprised as mine as he shook Sam's hand as the rest of the pack filed past him into the empty seats.

Jake saw me and shrugged, trying unsuccessfully to hide and smile. He mouthed "Sorry". My face went hot.

If I fell down now the pack would ever let me forget it.

"Oh. My. Word. Bella. Are those the guys you've been hanging out with? You didn't tell me they were all _models._ They better be coming to my party." Jessica whispered, eyes bugging out of her head in disbelief. My face burned hot.

I glanced back at the pack again. They really did look good. My eyes moved to Paul, who in turn gestured for me to "break a leg". It was kind of a morbid gesture. He pretended to snap Jared's leg in half and then gave me a thumbs-up. I managed a weak smile.

Jessica's speech went well. She managed to look completely at ease up on stage – even though I knew she was about to puke inside. I was proud of her for doing a good job. I tried to pay attention, knowing she's ask me to dissect every single thing she'd mentioned later on today, but my fear of falling on stage or tripping or fainting or getting sick blurred out some of her most important points.

As soon as they started calling names, my knees started to shake. Maybe my nerves did manifest themselves in psychosis.

"Tyler Crowley."

My lunch table applauded loudly for Tyler. He took his diplomas, beaming, as his parents took pictures from the front row. Then he moved his tassel from one side of his cap to the other.

"Shoot. Forgot about the tassel thing. Don't forget the tassel, Bella. That's so crucial!" Jessica whispered frantically. I was glad for the reminder.

"Lauren Mallory."

The applause continued. I could feel my heart beat in my throat.

"Michael Newton."

They were getting closer to my name. Everything was running together.

"Valedictorian, Jessica Stanley."

I couldn't take a deep breath even if I wanted to.

"Isabella Swan."

Knees shaking, palms sweating, I stood up from the creaking metal chair to make my way across the shiny, slippery, perilous gym floor to the stage.

And the back row _exploded_. Cheers and applause and whistles and total chaos ensued. I glanced back over my shoulder and the entire pack was on their feet, clapping and grinning and fist pumping and high-fiving and implementing every other imaginable celebratory gesture. Even Charlie was on his feet, grinning and teary-eyed. My face flushed a bright red and I grimaced, averting my eyes to the floor to watch where I planted my feet.

Though I'd vowed to myself not to look at the crowd from on stage because of a possible ensuing panic attack, I couldn't help but glance back at the pack again. They were all beaming. Charlie was clapping with exaggerated hard and fast claps- truly proud. I couldn't help but smile. Jake stood next to Charlie – beaming just as big as the rest of them.

I shook the principals hand and took hold of my diplomas – a thin roll of parchment tied in a blue cord. Remembering Jessica's reminder, I moved the tassel from one side of my cap to the other, signifying my official new status as a High School Grad.

As I came off the stage, the wolves finally calmed down, but Charlie continued standing, clapping until I'd retaken my seat. The gesture was sweet. I couldn't stop looking at the floor – all the attention had really embarrassed me – but I was beaming.

I watched as Angela Weber and Eric Yorkie accepted their diplomas after me, greeting Angela with a hug as she uncharacteristically bounded off the stage.

"It's done, Bella! High school. Over. Just like that." Jessica whispered, shaking her head.

Angela leaned forward from the row behind me. "You know, after all the work and hype, I feel like we should've gotten more than a piece of paper."

"No kidding," Mike mumbled from in front of me, twirling his diploma around in his hand.

After the final words were said and we threw out caps up into the air – I felt as if this part of my life really was over.

"Congratulations, Bella!" Jared called as I made my way to the back of the gym. I looked around for Jake, but I couldn't spot him in the throng of people. I might as well have been in a mosh pit. "I hope the rest of your life is _packed_ with excitement." Jared continued, chuckling at his own joke.

Paul threw him a disgusted look. "I think you've lost your touch. That was pathetic."

I grinned. Paul pat my on the shoulder and moved to make room for the rest of the group.

"I love the shoes," Naye remarked kindly, now holding Clair. "They fit you really well."

I didn't have time to respond before the next person began to speak.

"You didn't look nervous at all," Emily said, throwing her arms around me. "Aren't you glad it's over?"

"Relieved." I said, smiling again.

"You did great, Bella! Super! This is_ huge_, too. I mean, how many people actually graduate from _high school_?" Quil joked sarcastically.

"It's more than half the pack can say," I retorted in jest, brandishing my diploma.

"Hey!" he answered in mock offense as he was shoved aside by Embry.

"Lookin' good, Bells! Honestly I can't say I'm missing my own, but I'm happy for you. You've officially joined the world of graduates. Lemme know how it feels!"

"I will," I said, still smiling and trying not to be overwhelmed.

"You did great, Bella." Sam said, running a hand down his tie and holding out his other one to shake mine. I'd never seen him looking so formal. It took me by surprise.

"Thanks, Sam." I said gratefully. For a moment, it felt like I was saying thanks for more. Thanks for all the days I've spent in your house, for including me in your family, for giving Jake time to see me, for helping Jake after he first changed, for being here now. Everything.

"Don't I get to say anything?" Jake's voice boomed from behind me. I spun around quickly, anxious to see him. Stepping towards him, I wrapped my arms around his torso. He lifted the cap off my head and reached down to kiss me briefly on the lips.

"How are you all here? Did Sam give you all the day off? What about-"

"Bella, calm down! We're all here with you. You're safe. I promise."

"Who's keeping watch on everything in the woods? What about Victoria?" I pressed.

"Bella, don't worry!" Embry yelled. "The C-"

And his sound cut off. At first his eyes widened, like he wasn't breathing, and then he coughed a few times. He looked around, bewildered, and Sam was giving him a death stare. I cocked my head in confusion.

Embry turned towards me -wrapped in Jacob's arms- rocked back on his heels and cleared his throat. "My voice cracked. Talk about awkward. I thought I was past that already." He laughed uncomfortably. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just ignore him, he's an idiot." Jake mumbled. He brought his face down close to mine again. "I'm proud of you," he whispered against my lips.

Charlie cleared his throat and Jake dropped his hand from the side of my face, standing up straight and taking a step back. He usually wouldn't have been so…formal about it, but Charlie got authority dibs today over all things as the official, legal father of my life.

"I'm proud of you, Bells." He said, stepping around Jake awkwardly to talk to me. Jake winked over the top of his head and turned to talk to Embry. "I wish your mother could've been here. For you."

I shook my head. "It's okay, Dad. Having just you here is perfect."

He grimaced. "You didn't tell me the entire reservation was coming."

"I had no idea." I confessed.

He chuckled. "Well, at least everyone was to busy focused on the rowdy back row to notice anything on stage. You could've fallen and crawled your way across the stage and no one would've seen."

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

"Just keepin' it real," he said, clapping me on the back.

"Bella!" A voice called. I didn't recognize it at first, but when I turned I saw Seth bounding towards me. "Hey, Bella! I'm really glad I got to come! To see what I'll be missing." He smiled ruefully. "We're all really happy for you! You did awesome!"

"Thanks, Seth." He was always so genuine.

"By the way, there's some weird girl that keeps staring at all of us. She looks kind of demented."

"Demented? Where?" I asked, curious.

"Over there," he said, pointing shamelessly.

I snorted. "That's Jessica." She was standing in a huddle with Mike, Eric and Angela. As soon as she caught my eye, she urgently made motion for me to join them. I sighed.

"Do you want to come meet her?" I asked. I was tired of the life-is-ending-I'll-never-see-you-again hug circle. Maybe they'd tone it down if Seth was there. And also not ask as many prying, obtrusive questions.

"Sure!" he answered, sincerely.

We walked over to them. Jessica's eyes widened when she saw I was bringing Seth over to them. Angela giggled.

"Hey, everyone. This is Seth Clearwater, a friend of mine. He and the rest of the group live on the reservation."

"Hi." The group choruses in unison.

"Hey!" Seth replied, holding out a hand to shake each one. "Congratulations on graduating."

Angela was the only one who managed a thanks.

A few awkward seconds passed before a star-struck Jessica came to her senses. "You're all coming to my party, right? Like, you're so totally invited."

"A party?" Seth questioned, looking at me.

"The celebration of a century. A total Generation Y blow out! You in?" Mike asked dramatically.

"Yeah, definitely!" he shrugged. " I have to ask Sa- my…mom. First. But thanks for the invite! It sounds great."

"Tell all your friends!" Jessica piped in as he started to walk away.

"I should probably go," I said, not wanting to be standing here anymore. I could tell Jessica had to refrain from hugging me goodbye.

"See you tonight! 8'oclock! Bring your hott friends!" She called a little too loudly. I nodded and blushed, looking towards the pack as I turned. Of course they'd all heard her. Embry and Quil were high-fiving. Sam was laughing. Jared and Paul were…posing? Awesome.

* * *

"That's wasn't so bad, was it?" Jake asked. We'd all eaten together at a log cabin restraint north of the school and Jake was driving me back to my house, Charlie leading the way in his cruiser. Traffic was inevitably slower around Charlie. "It's all over now."

I groaned. "I still have to go to Jessica's party. You're coming with me, aren't you?"

He nodded. "For a little bit. Sam gave us today off. A real sacrifice, really, but the pack needed a break. The forest is insane. We're working harder than we ever have." His eyes unfocused for a moment, forehead creased as it always was when he was concentrating. "I didn't tell the rest of the pack about it. I didn't want them to feel obligated." He glanced at me from the driver's seat. "I hope that's okay."

I would've been relieved, but Jessica had invited Seth personally. "Jessica told Seth," I moaned, resting my temple against the cold car window. "I wouldn't be surprised if the whole pack showed up. Jessica would be thrilled. I closed my eyes, imagining the horror.

Jake shook his head. "I really doubt they'll go. Sam wouldn't let Seth go to a graduate party – he's only 15. Jared and Quil are already taken, anyway. Your friends would have better luck with a different group."

"Try telling Jessica that," I mused, but I was suddenly hopeful that it would end up being only Jake and me.


	30. Party

**Only two months published and I've got 117+ reviews and 32,000+ hits. **

I've been getting_ tons_ of PMs and emails. **Thanks for all the positive feedback!** You guys have been amazing! For those of you who have asked – yeah, I'd love to be a published author someday and I plan to pursue it.

I've also gotten TONS of messages about the whole "bracelet mystery". I hope you all like how it plays out in future chapters :)

If you're curious, I'd say this story is about halfway done. I could easily put in another 20 chapters. So much more to come!

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**CHP 30 – PARTY**

Jacob was still wearing what he'd worn to my graduation – which was absolutely fine by me – but we stopped by my house on the way to Jessica's so I could stash my gown and change into something "totally hott" for the party, as Jessica had so elegantly put it. I translated "totally hott" to be something Jessica wouldn't scream at me if she saw me wearing. My darkest jeans, a black v-neck t-shirt and a jacket would have to do. I stubbornly refused to change shoes. She was going to have to accept the converse or send me home. Either way was a win for me.

Jake had stashed his motorcycle behind my house, and when Charlie had secured himself a place on the couch, Jake snuck around back and dug it out.

We rode up to the front of Jessica's secluded house – surprising far from the beaten path at the end of a long, winding driveway through the woods. The walls of the building were shaking with low bass notes and all the inside lights were off save for the flashing strobe and a dim red and purple glow emitted from the middle floor.

Jake was smiling, brushing off the front of his jeans. "Ready?"

"Am I ever ready for any kind of social event?" I replied unenthusiastically.

"Just try to enjoy yourself," he said, taking my hand encouragingly and walking me up the front steps.

As we let ourselves in, Jessica bounded her way up to the front door. "Hey, Bella! And Jacob! Come on in! The party's this way." She pointed down the hallway to the room where the loudest music was being played.

"Wow, Jess. You really turned this place into a night club."

"I know, right? Party of the century!" She agreed. Jake started down the hall, but Jessica grabbed my wrist to hold me back. "Are the rest of them coming too?" she asked, hopeful.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I wouldn't count on it."

She stuck out her bottom lip dramatically. "I hope they come. Forks is a little short on hotties."

It was weird hearing her refer to my brothers that way. I grimaced.

"Well come on!" she urged, as if I had been the hold up. "Time to party!"

I followed her into the dark room. It was a lot bigger than I expected. All the furniture had been moved out. Eric was in the corner next to a bunch of flashing lights, flipping rapidly through a stack of CDs and very obviously jamming to the music.

"Eric said he'd DJ. Awesome, right?" Jessica said loudly over the blaring song.

I nodded and looked around to find Jake. Jessica started to dance and lost herself immediately in the crowd of kids I barely knew. I jumped when I felt a pair of hands snake themselves around my waist.

"It's just me," Jake said into my ear. I relaxed. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I answered. "I'm okay." So far.

"Good. Wanna dance?"

I shook my head. "I don't dance."

"Come on, we're at a party! I haven't been to a party in forever." He was surprisingly lighthearted and buoyant. I hadn't seen him this way in a long time.

"_You_ can dance." I said. "I can't."

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You really want me to go dance without you?"

I thought about it. Jake surrounded by a bunch of desperate girls and Jessica while I stood here awkwardly by myself? "No, not really."

"That's what I thought," he said. He scrutinized my face and saw my absolute defiance. I'd shown up at the party – but I was not dancing. No way.

"Alright, alright," he said. "Let's stand over here, at least, so we're not in the way." He threw his arm over my shoulder and we made our way along the edge of the dance floor to an area less condensed.

I glanced up at Jake. He looked like a model – the flashing lights and oddly angled shadows cast off his jaw and barely visible collar bones in a way that made him look at least twenty-five. His sleeves were rolled up to the bend in his arms and his veins were accented perfectly in the near-darkness. I must've looked pretty pathetic standing next to him.

"Why don't I go get us something to drink?" he suggested. When I nodded, he kissed me briefly on the forehead and walked out of the room to find some.

I stood with my arms crossed, leaning against the vibrating wall, watching the mesh of bodies on the dance floor, wondering why anyone would voluntarily subject themselves to that kind of physical contact. To my disdain, Mike spotted me and made a B-line straight for me. I tried not to visibly cringe.

"Hey, Bella!" he said, leaning up against the wall next to me. He paled so much in comparison to how Jake had looked standing here just moments before that I almost felt sorry for him. "I didn't know if you'd come or not!"

"Here I am," I answered with apathy.

"Do you want to dance?"

"No, she doesn't," a deep voice answered. Jake walked up, handed me a drink and threw his arm back over my shoulder in a rare gesture of possessiveness. "Mike," he added in surprising contempt.

"Oh." Mike said, obviously downtrodden. "I didn't know _he _was here."

"The one and only," Jake responded, holding up his cup in a mock toast.

Mike scowled and nodded to me, giving Jake a quick once-over before returning to the dance floor. For a fleeting moment, I felt guilty.

"You didn't have to do that," I said, pushing against Jake's ribs slightly.

"He's not my favorite," Jake answered nonchalantly.

I sighed. Jealous boys. I guess no one ever grew out of jealousy. I turned my head towards the exit, contemplating a quick escape, when the pack started to trickle in.

Embry and Quil came in first, followed by Seth. Paul and Jared were last, looking even older than the college-aged guys they were.

"Jake! Bella!" Quil called when he saw us. He made his way along the edge of the room until he reached us. "Glad we made it in time."

"Where's Sam?" I asked over the music.

"Home. Didn't think he could pass coming to a high school party without looking like a pedophile. Emily wasn't too keen on him coming anyway with the baby on the way." Embry shrugged.

"Hi, Bella!" Seth greeted when he reached us. "I spread Jessica's invite!"

"Thanks," I answered sarcastically, though I was sure he didn't catch it. "I don't really know is this is the packs type of party," I said.

"Yeah? What type of party is that?" Paul raised from over Seth's shoulder.

Truthfully, I didn't know. "There's not a lot of food here."

Jared snorted. "We can last a few hours without food, Bella."

I laughed. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"We're not going to pass up a good party on our only day off. No matter what!" Paul chimed in.

"I think these girls are a bit young for you, Paul…" I teased.

"Hey now," Paul grinned. "I didn't say that's why I was here."

"Your _cologne_ says that's why you're here." I smirked.

"_Oooh!_ Bella's learning to play tough!" Jared laughed.

My face flushed. Jacob laughed and squeezed my shoulder.

"Good for you, Bella! You're gonna need thick skin around us. It's good to see you finally have some unforeseen backbone!"

Jessica unexpectedly skidded to a halt beside our group. "Hi! I'm Jessica. Your Bella's friends, right?" She flipped her hair so hard Seth had to dodge it to avoid getting a face full. "I'm, like, totally glad you guys could make it! There are drinks in the kitchen if you want any."

"Thanks, Jessica," Jacob answered. "We're good."

She beamed and raced back over to the group of girls huddling and very obviously staring to report back every second of her five second self-introduction.

"Kim couldn't come," Jared interjected. "Studying for finals."

I nodded politely at his answer to an unspoken question.

"Does the pack drink?" I asked Jake, suddenly nervous at the possibly of an entire pack of huge, drunken werewolves.

"No," Jake answered. "There's no point. Our bodies burn off the alcohol so fast it has no affect on us. It's like drinking water. Nasty tasting water."

That's a relief.

Paul and Embry went to scout out girls. Jacob and I stayed where we were, sipping Sprites and people watching. Quil was leaning up against the wall a few feet from us, texting. Jacob joked that he was probably texting Naye, making sure Clair was in bed on time. It was a borderline tasteless joke, but I laughed anyway, grateful to see Jake in such high spirits.

Seth stood next to us – almost visibly bouncing with excitement.

"Why don't you go dance and party or something, Seth?" Jacob urged. "Go…have fun."

"I've never been to a party like this before," he admitted. "Especially not one filled with senior girls." He chuckled insecurely. It was endearing.

Jacob took on a fatherly role I'd never seen in him before and it fascinated me. I listened intently to their conversation. "Senior girls are just like any other girls," Jacob explained.

Seth looked at him in disbelief.

Sighing, he held his half-empty cup out to me. "Here. Seth, come on. I'll show you how it's done." He winked at me and grabbed Seth by the back of the neck and drug him into the throng of people on the dance floor. I watched, wanting to see what Jake was going to do, but I lost them almost immediately in the chaotic darkness.

I hated parties.

Jake came back a few minutes later. "I hooked him up with some junior guys who aren't supposed to be here anyway. They're scouting out girls together."

"Guys are stupid. How could you tell they were party crashers?"

He laughed to himself and took a swig of his drink. "Because of how they were standing awkwardly off to the side debating on whether or not to try and talk to anyone. He'll be safe with them." I smiled.

A slow song came on – the first one of the night – and the dance floor half-emptied itself. Jake and I stood talking and watching until Jessica invited herself into our conversation.

"It's a slow song! Why aren't you guys dancing?"

"Bella doesn't dance," Jake answered for me.

"Oh come on," Jessica whined. "You can't come to my party and stand here the whole time, Bella. Slow dancing isn't even dancing. It's just swaying. You're not so clumsy that you can't do that."

"You'd be surprised," I mumbled into my empty cup.

"Here," Jessica said, grabbing our cups and setting them on a nearby table. "You guys are gonna dance if it kills me."

I was averse to dancing. Absolutely opposed. But I was even more opposed to Jessica making a scene because I was refusing to dance. Reluctantly, I succumbed to her relentless wishes. Jake could've handled her – if he'd wanted – but secretly I think he was glad that someone was making me dance and he didn't have to take the blame. If something horrible happened to me on the dance floor like a broken leg or bloody nose – both of which I considered very probable even in a slow dance – it was all on Jessica now.

I'd slow danced only once before. When I was twelve. At a really sad excuse for a dance that my middle school threw together last minute. It was a horrible experience, and I couldn't believe I was subjecting myself to this again.

But even I had to admit that slow-dancing with Jacob was not the worst thing that could've happened to me at this party.

He smelled good. I was glad he wasn't wearing cologne like Paul – it would've covered up the scent of pine and Dial I loved so much. Our bodies swayed gently to the music. He leaned his head down on top of mine and I could feel him breathing in my scent like he always did.

"When're you gonna stop smelling my hair like that?" I asked.

He chuckled in a low tone. "When you stop smelling good."

I closed my eyes and tried to block out the numerous envious glares I could feel on me and tried to focus only on Jacob. The beat of his heart. The heat of his body. The movement of him. His even breaths. The rhythm of it all could've lulled me to sleep.

"I love you," he whispered so only I could hear.

"I love you, too," I answered, feeling that at this moment we were the only two in the room.

Our private moment was interrupted by a commotion from the kitchen. Paul's recognizable voice was booming. He was angry. Jake pulled away from me, frozen, listening intently, before he broke out into a sprint for the kitchen.

The scene we arrived at was not pretty. Paul's front was splattered with some sort of liquid and he was shaking all over. A kid in a letter jacket from our pathetic football team lay on the floor with a gash across his eye.

"Paul!" I yelled, horrified, but Jared was already handling it. He jammed his shoulder square into Paul's chest and he fell against the doorpost, letting himself be man-handled. Paul wasn't stupid. He knew how dangerous it was for him to be angry in a room full of careless high school kids.

Jacob stepped around me and grabbed Paul's shoulder, practically throwing him out of the room. He and Jared hustled him down the hallway and out through the front door. I prayed they didn't leave any dents in the sheetrock. A second letter jacket clad senior helped his stupored friend off the ground and drug him out the opposite exit into the cold air.

Everyone in the kitchen stood frozen. Eventually, they began to disperse, talking animatedly and returning to the dance floor where another heavy beat was now drumming. After a few minutes of trying not to make eye-contact with anyone to avoid questioning, Jake slipped back in through the front door, carrying a ripped up shirt, jacket and a pair of jeans. Paul had managed to salvage the best of his clothes – which was a major accomplishment at this point.

The shirt he shoved roughly into the trash under the sink, the jeans and jacket he folded and threw on the counter. Heaving a sigh, he looked at me and shook his head in frustration.

"Are those Paul's? Oh my word. It's like the Hulk." Jessica said, amazed. I blinked, surprised that she was still standing next to me.

"I guess," I muttered.

"He just ripped off his clothes?"

"Looks like it," I mumbled again.

It took a minute for her to gather her thoughts. "That's hott." Jessica commented, dumbfounded.

Hott? No. Dangerous. "Paul has anger management issues," I said, still staring off through the doorway where he'd been pushed out.

She looked at me like she wondered how I thought this could make the whole episode any less exciting. "This party is amazing," she complimented to herself, clearly astonished by her own success.

Jacob motioned for me to follow him outside onto the deck. The wooden banishers were wrapped in twinkling lights and the moon lit up the sky, casting a blueish tint over everything.

"Sorry," he mumbled, leaning against the railing. His face was angry. "Jared's handling it." His hands were shaking a little bit – from adrenaline or anger I couldn't be sure.

"Jake, it's fine. Fights happen all the time. No big deal," I reassured.

"Paul could've killed someone."

"He didn't," I reminded. "No one was seriously hurt."

"It's just another reminder that we can't be normal. We're not high schoolers anymore, Bella." He said, using the pack plural. "Why are we even pretending?"

"Jake…" I started, cautious of my words when he was so uptight. "Try not to blow it out of proportion, okay?"

He glared at me.

"I only mean to say that nothing happened. Jessica thought it was great, actually. I guarantee it'll be the highlight of her night."

I could tell he was trying not to smile.

"I have something for you," he said, reaching into his pocket. "Before you object, let me just tell you that I made it myself and it will severely shatter my self-confidence if you hate it."

Pulling a hand out of his pocket, he held up a sliver bracelet in front of my face. Hooked on to one of the fragile links hung a tiny wolf, carved from a deep russet wood. The intricate detail was astounding and the silver shimmered prettily in the dim lights.

I gasped. "You made this?"

"Carved it myself," he said proudly, but only to me. "A graduation present."

"It's beautiful, Jake." I fingered the tiny wolf charm as it hung in midair, turning it over to view it from all sides. "I love it."

"I hoped you would," he said, smiling. He took my wrist – opposite of the one housing Emily's bracelet – and fastened the clasp. "Now you'll always have a little piece of me with you."

"Thanks," I whispered, resting my forehead against his chest. After a moment I tilted my head back and lowered his head down to mine, kissing his mouth with appreciation for the beautiful gift.

He laughed against my lips. "Maybe I should give you presents more often."

I was about to respond when Seth came flying through the glass doors, barely catching himself on the doorframe. "Jake! Bella! It's Emily. Come on!"

Jake grabbed my arm and pulled my along, willing me to keep up with him. Winding through the crowd, Seth, Jake and I moved quickly for the front door. What could be wrong with Emily? Was something wrong with the baby? My stomach felt sick.

"None of us knew until Jared and Paul phased. Jared sent the message a few minutes ago. She's not doing well, Jake." Seth informed as soon as we got outside.

"Where is she?" he asked as he walked briskly down the sidewalk, away from the rattling bass and flashing lights. It was a hardship for Jake to keep pace with me. He could be sprinting – but with me jogging to keep up he had to restrain himself to a fast walk.

"At Sam's. With the doctor. We'll meet you there," he said. Seth took off, sprinting towards the trees, untucking his shirt as he went. I could see Quil and Embry in the distance, sprinting just as hard to get out of visible range of the house before phasing.

"Hurry," Jake said, clapping the helmet down on my head and buckling it for me. Throwing a leg over his bike, I followed suit, barely having a chance to secure my grip in him before he skid out of the driveway.

In the dark, there was no way for me to get my bearings. Trees and ferns and the surrounding forestry morphed into one collective, ebony blur. The only thing I could see was the occasional pair of headlights in the opposite direction, but we sped by them with such momentum I could've only imagined them. Closing my eyes, I buried my face in Jake's back, terrified of the perilous mixture of reckless speed and slick, winding roads. Besides the roar of the road and the intermittent screech of tires, the only audible was the frequent curse words thrown out by Jake when he felt his bike's 90mph speed wasn't fast enough.

When we reached Emily's, the scene was solemn. The pack was scattered around the middle floor – slung over chairs, the floor, the couch. All of them were fidgeting. Paul had his head in his hands. He wasn't shaking anymore, which was a good sign. He was probably over it already. Paul definitely won the prize for quickest recovery time after going absolutely ballistic.

"What's going on?" Jake asked the room at large, throwing my motorcycle helmet on the counter.

"We don't know," Embry answered from the back corner of the room. "Something with the baby. Emily's fever is through the roof – 110F. The doctor's doing what she can."

Without asking permission, I took the stairs two at a time to the upper floor. I'd never been up here before – but there were only two rooms. It took me no time to find where she was.

The scene was gruesome. Emily was covered in a thick sheen of sweat. Bags of ice covered her neck and belly. Sam grasped her hand tightly, sitting faithfully at her side, looking battered. The doctor was muttering foreign incantations, injecting Emily with a clear liquid I assumed to be morphine. Emily's only movement was the ragged, irregular rise and fall of her chest as she struggled to breathe.

Sam barely looked up when I came in. "We still don't know what's wrong. Emily – the baby – they both have fevers. There's a strong possibility the baby will change." He choked on his words. "We don't know what will happen then."

My lips parted in shock. Emily was dying. If the baby phased, they both would.

I backed out into the hall, eyes burning with irrational tears. Emily would be fine. Nothing would happen. The baby wouldn't change and the pregnancy would go back to normal by morning.

I couldn't lose Emily. Besides Jake, she'd been my best friend in Forks. She understood everything. I couldn't lose her. I couldn't lose anyone else. The pack would collapse. _I _would collapse. I'd fall to pieces. How much hurt could one person suffer in so limited an amount of time?

I felt the wooden banister of the stairs against my cheek and the floor against my palms. I tried to breathe, but the looming shadows I'd kept at bay for so long were setting it. Closing in. Constricting me. Everything went dark.

* * *

When I woke up, I was lying on the couch, surrounded by members of the pack. Seth was sleeping parallel with me, but on the floor. Jake was sleeping on the end of the couch at my feet, sitting upright with his chin resting against his chest. Quil slept on the chair on my right. Jake must've moved me.

Paul's heavy footsteps down the wooden steps jostled Jake awake. I pushed myself up on my elbows off a pillow stained with tears I must've cried in my sleep.

"Emily is stable." He said huskily. "The fever is dropping. She's awake."

"Is the doctor still here?" Jake asked in a voice deep with lack of sleep.

"Nah, she left an hour ago. Said she'd come back later," he answered. "But Sam wants…a different doctor to come and take a look. He'll have to make an ….appointment. Later today." Jake nodded swiftly, teeth gritting and fist curling into a ball. I tilted my head, perplexed, but Paul interrupted my scrutiny of Jake's sudden tension. "She's asking for you."

I threw the blanket off my feet and scrambled off the couch, accidentally kicking Seth in the process. He didn't move.

I was beyond relieved to see that she was sitting up. Bags of half-melted ice still covered her body, but she wasn't sweating anymore. Sam must have cleaned her up. He sat upright sleeping in the corner in the same position Jake had taken moments ago. Their increasing similarities were charming.

"Bella," Emily whispered, cheerfully with a hint of exhaustion. "I've been asking for you. Are you alright?"

"Am _I_ alright?" I asked in disbelief. "What about you? You scared us all to death." I pulled up another chair up to the side of her bed, careful not to wake Sam, and sat with my hands on my knees until she reached out and grabbed them.

"I'm fine. Promise." She patted her stomach. "This baby is chomping at the bit to get out here and meet all his brothers, that's all." I tried to smile as she blew off the severity of the previous night.

"Have you, um, thought of a name?"

She smiled. "A few."

I waited for her to continue.

"My favorite is Joshua. Joshua Uley. After one of Sam's ancestors."

I smiled. "That's a great name, Emily."

"If it's a girl… I like Marie."

My lips parted. "That's-"

"Your middle name," she finished for me. "I know. I know I promised to let you help pick the names, but I knew you might object to this one. I hope you don't mind," she added, smiling.

I was shocked and touched. "Wow, Emily. That's really great. You don't have to…"

"It's a beautiful name. And I want you to be a big part of this. You've made being a girl in the pack a lot easier for me, believe it or not. It used to just be me and Leah. You can see how that might've not been ideal…" she grimaced.

I grinned. We sat in silence for a while and Emily started to hum a tuneless melody, absentminded tracing designs across her stomach.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" I wondered.

"Well…" she started, looking unsure. I waited. "I'm sure the pack's hungry. Think you could throw together a solid breakfast?"

I laughed. "Yeah, definitely."

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**REVIEW! Please :)**


	31. Training

I wanna apologize to those of you who have sent me links to your awesome stories and fanfics for me to read, review or critique. All my fanfic energy is being poured into this. I won't have time to read them until I finish my own story – and that's gonna be a _long_ time. Sorry! (Plus, it's hard to keep the plots straight when all of a sudden I'm reading something where Jake joins the army and Bella gives birth to twins. lol.)

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**CHP 31 - TRAINING**

"I still say Emily's a better cook," Paul said with his mouth full of sausages. "But you're not half bad, Bella."

"Thanks," I responded, throwing another ten eggshells into the garbage can. I'd fixed two packages of sausage, one of bacon, twenty five eggs and cut up a pineapple. I was sure that if I'd kept cooking, it would've kept disappearing, but Sam dragged himself away from Emily long enough to break up the feast.

"Everyone is to be on patrol today," he ordered. "Back to work. We're making up for yesterday. Forty-eight hour patrol with two hour shifts starting after sixth hour. Everyone will get six one-hour breaks."

The pack groaned. Jake grimaced at me and mouthed "sorry." I had expected as much. It would give me time to nail down the final details of Emily's baby shower. Sam had assured me earlier she'd be up and ready for the shower when it rolled around in mid-July.

"How's Emily?" Quil questioned.

"Well enough," Sam answered, plopping down in a crooked chair at the table. "Five minutes until we leave. Hurry up and eat."

The pack nodded obediently, grabbing last minute handful of pineapple and spoonfuls of egg. I was absolutely covered from head to toe in grease and food. Emily definitely pulled it off huge meals better than I did. I needed some practice. Nevertheless, I was proud of myself. Everything I fixed proved to be edible.

"You did great with breakfast, Bells. Sorry I can't stick around and help you clean up the mess." Jake said to me privately.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "Dishes are my specialty."

He smiled, but his smiled quickly morphed into the stony face he got when he was focused on the pack. "We're about to run a stiff patrol. Forty-eight hours with breaks starting after the first six hours." He glanced at the clock behind him. "It's 8am now." He wrenched open a few drawers before finding a notepad and piece of paper.

"Emily knows this patrol order, but I'll write it down for you so you can know what to expect." His hand flew across the page, creating a messily scribbled chart. Three columns, forty-eight rows. First, the rows were numbered one through forty-eight. In the middle were times marked off by the hour. Names of pack individuals were located on the far right. I had no idea they had it down to such a science. I paid close attention.

"The entire pack will be gone the first six hours. Seth will circle back at 2PM, followed by Quil, Embry, Jared, Paul, me and Sam on the hour. The order stays the same with every shift. My off hours are 7PM, 2AM, 9AM, 4PM, 11PM and 6AM." He glanced up from the chart to see how I would react. "It's a rough schedule. We haven't used it much. We'll be okay, though, so you don't have to worry. You'll be fine by yourself?"

"Yeah," I assured him. "I'll be fine."

"Guys coming off patrol will sleep their whole hour, most likely. Just make sure the water cooler on the back porch is full. That's the first thing they'll go for during the couple of minutes where the adrenaline wears off and their instincts cool down." He grimaced again, studying my face. "I know you didn't sign up for this. Emily usually handles it all, but…."

"No," I said, stepping forward to further study the chart. "I'm glad to help. Really. I want to."

Jake smiled weakly and rubbed the pack of his neck. "The next two days will be rough for us. Stability here holds us together. Can you be…you know…stable?"

"Yes." I determined.

He seemed wary, wondering maybe if he should repeat everything he'd just told me to Emily in case I exploded and couldn't handle it, but in the end he set his resolve to trust me. I appreciated it.

"I'll see you in….eleven hours." He said. He pulled me into a tight hug – one so tight I could barely breathe. "Thanks for taking care of things, baby. It means a lot to the pack. And to me."

I smiled, glad I could finally contribute.

"Remember," he repeated as he let me go. "Seth will come back at two this afternoon."

I nodded. "Right."

"Followed by Quil at three."

"I got it, Jake." I assured him.

"Just don't hurt anything. Maybe after you do the dishes you could just…sit down…" he teased.

I threw a towel at him. He winked and followed the rest of the pack out the back door into the trees beyond.

I gave the schedule another once-over. It was grueling, but simple enough to understand. I was relieved to see that Seth was the first to get a break. He really was like my little brother. I felt like I needed to take care of him – though I knew if anything ever happened_ he_ would be the one taking care of _me._

I put the leftovers – if you could even call them leftovers, there was barely enough for one person – on a plate for Emily and set it aside while I cleaned up the kitchen. The peacefulness of the surrounding forest put any nerves I had about the patrolling pack at ease. Jake had said they were just training, right? Preparing for when Victoria showed up. They hadn't actually seen her in a few weeks, I was pretty sure. At least they hadn't mentioned it to me. Maybe she'd finally given up.

***SAM POV***

I was pushing the pack to the limit. We'd only pulled the forty-eight hour shift schedule one other time – when the Cullens had first arrived. That had ended in disaster. Leah deserted and Seth had just made the change. Half the guys were puking after every phase and Jared, who hadn't been completely healed but forced into shift to cover Leah, practically died on the thirty-sixth hour. We'd left that detail out in reports back to Emily.

But I'd been stretching it by giving the pack all of yesterday off. The Cullens had patrolled the forest surrounding Forks for us long enough to go to Bella's graduation. Dr. Carlisle had urged me to let the pack take the day off, assuring me they could cover the forest for a day. It had taken me a while to warm up to the idea. My instinct against trusting a vampire burned through my veins. The mini-vacation had turned out great for the boys- minus the minor incident with Paul. Now we needed to get back to practicing strategy.

Alice informed us Victoria's numbers were on the rise. Twenty-two in her last vision. But she also warned the numbers were subject to rapid change – for better or for worse. Uncertainty was our biggest enemy.

Seth had developed a strange relationship with the vampires. He was comfortable around them. Too comfortable, I thought. He let his guard down around them. We may have been under treaty, but I didn't trust them like Seth did and probably never would. I wanted to blame it on naivety, but couldn't I blame my own distrust on prejudice?

"When are you going to tell Bella that we're here?" Alice whined. Jacob growled.

Seth, as the translator, responded. "I think that means never."

"She's bound to find out eventually." Emmett remarked. His cockiness got on my nerves.

Seth shook his head. "Jake doesn't think so."

"Enough." Carlisle said, stepping forward. "We've worked on general strategy, instinct control and trail distinction. Today, Jasper wants us to run through newborn training. If that's alright with you, Sam."

I nodded.

"Vampires are their most powerful during the first few months of our new lives." He began, surveying the pack. "That, we believe, is why Victoria has created them. They're fast. Frenzied. Blinded by their new senses and burning desire for blood. To her, they are ultimately disposable. She's going to use them to weaken the pack. The surprise will be that we're here to help."

"We'd like to do some demonstrations, if you don't mind. Fighting newborns is like nothing you've done before. It requires specific knowledge that Jasper has."

Jasper stepped forward. For the most part, he'd remained silent in our month of working together. His arms were covered in slick, silver bites. Embry shivered.

"There are a few important points to remember," he said. His thick, southern drawl both surprised and repulsed me. I'd grown used to the doctor's voice -even grown to accept it. But this new voice hurt my head and made me flinch.

"First, never let them get your arms around you. That's their main method of attack. Rosalie?"

Rosalie stepped forward, sinking into a sickening crouch. Her teeth were barred, her long, manicured fingernails dug into the earth around her. The pack stepped back, answering my silent warning. Seth phased and joined the pack line.

Jasper stood straight up, arms clasped behind his back, a small smile playing across his lips.

A moment of still silence occurred before the two vampires began to fight. The blonde threw herself forward, teeth flashing, hair flying, only to have her onslaught dodged. Jasper turned, unclasping his arms and spreading them to his sides, and took a step towards his again crouching sister.

"Don't go for the obvious kill," he said. He licked his lips, his head twitching to the right ever so slightly, before attacking.

His movements were quick and stealthy. It was easy to see why no human would stand a chance against them. Heir fight was a chorus of twists and turns – very little contact. They were implanting a to of strategies we'd learned during the past weeks: attack from behind, don't allow the newborns to touch you, guard your neck and your own back. Rosalie dodged his last advance with a sickening cartwheel, twisting as she landed to face him once more.

"Good. Very nice, Rosalie. Emmett."

The brawny one stepped forward, high-fiving his mate as he went. He planted his feet and squared his shoulders, ready to fight. Jasper smiled a wide smile before stepping backwards, opening his arm to welcome a full-on attack. Emmett lunged impulsively, teeth barred. Jasper evaded him, got behind him, easily grabbed him in a headlock.

"Never turn your back on your enemy." He growled. Emmett's body was shaking. He reached behind him and threw Jasper off him. The force of the throw loosened Jaspers grip on his neck and he was free long enough to stand up right again before he realized Jasper was again behind him. He swiveled, quickly for a man so broad, and was face-to-face with Jasper before he could make another move.

"Next. Alice." He said while shaking Emmett's hand.

Alice stepped forward, curtseying, wearing a ridiculous silk dress. It was obvious she hadn't come prepared for a fighting day. She smiled sassily, toying with her mate, beckoning his advance. The pack's thoughts were a stream of disgusted cuss words.

_Shut up and pay attention,_ I barked.

The tiny one's fighting was the hardest to watch. Sickeningly graceful, silent movements. Every time he advanced, she would turn and twist around him - almost invisible in her speed. It took only seconds for me to figure out her strategy: she knew every move he planned to make before he could do it. The concentration on his face was evident as he tried to conceal his own mind – but her visions allowed her impeccable advantages. She was dressed for_ her_ type of fighting – no contact. Nothing could touch her. It tied my stomach in a knot.

Suddenly, she disappeared. Jasper was left standing, frozen. My hair stood on end and my senses were sent into hyper drive. I hated not being able to see her. The pack tightened our line, defensively.

She dropped out of the trees overhead, throwing herself onto the back of her opponent and gracefully kissing his cheek. She'd won.

Jasper laughed. "None of the newborns will be as talented as Alice, of course."

She brushed herself off and skipped back to her family. Jasper lost the grin and melted back into his instructive façade.

"Keep your eyes open at all times. Do not underestimate them. Carlisle, Esme."

The two leading vampires stepped forward. Jasper fell back, allowing them room to fight. They fought a much more physical battle than the others. The deflected each other's punches, threw each other to the ground, jumped and kicked like I'd never seen vampires fight before.

There were so many different strategies – each vampire with it's own style, it's own instinct. It was overwhelming. And terrifying. I blocked my terror from the pack – allowing them to see only interest.

Their demonstration finished and Carlisle stepped forward once again to address the pack.

"Now you see how we fight. If you're comfortable, Sam, we can pair off and run trials. Practice wolves fighting vampires." His eyes locked with mine.

***BELLA POV***

There was only so much planning I could do for Emily's shower. Invitations had already been sent out.

It was almost noon. Seth should be coming back in a few hours, and then I'd have a steady stream of wolves coming in and out of the house for the next two days. Emily, well enough to sit up and talk, had called Charlie and told him I was going to be spending the night here for the next two nights. He'd seemed fine with the idea. Now I could focus on my job here.

Emily was sleeping and had been order by both Sam and the tribe's doctor to stay in bed for the next two days. With Seth coming in within the next two hours, I started prepping.

It took several trips from the sink to the back porch, arms laden with gallons of water, to fill up the cooler. The fact that it was "oversized" would have been an understatement. I was pretty sure you could illegally breed sharks in there and no one would notice.

I pulled out the clothes bins from under the stairs and sifted through them to find some suitable for Seth. I dug closest to the bottom for some of the smaller pairs, hoping to find some from the older pack member's earlier days.

There was quite an array of clothes in here; I'd never filtered through them before. Loads of old graphic T-shirts from various bands – some I'd heard of and some I hadn't – I found waded up in the very depths of the clothes bins. Some of the groups I loved: Muse, Coldplay, Bon Iver, Nirvana and Alice in Chains. The obscure, ones I assumed native to the Pacific Northwest, were Visible Targets, Riot grrl and The Human Factor. I smiled at the irony of the latter.

Emily and I would need to make another trip to the Goodwill pretty soon – finding an adequate pair of shorts to lay out was proving to be a challenge. I pegged Seth for a Coldplay kind of guy and tossed that t-shirt into a pile along with one of the smallest pair of wearable shorts I could find.

Fidgeting, with only an hour before the pack would start circulating, I decided to cook something. There wasn't much else to do in Emily's house – to be honest- and it was too late to run back to my house to grab…oh, wait. No more homework. Ever.

I was going to need to find a hobby.

Emily's kitchen cabinets were plastered with layers and layers of recipes. Print outs, magazine pages, cardboard recipes cut off of boxes – an entire gamut of recipes and food ideas. I ran my fingers through them, peeling back the layers, until I found something I deemed worth making. Settling on some sort of pumpkin cinnamon bread, I got to work mixing the ingredients – Emily had them all and more in crazy variations – until the middle floor was filled with the sweet, tangy scent.

Thirty-minutes until Seth got back. I wondered if Emily always felt this jittery.

Probably not.

***JACOB POV***

Whoever's idea it was to pair me with _Alice Cullen_, I was going to sue.

She was definitely number two of the top five people I'd like to kill. Guess who's number one.

I could sense Sam's reluctance to train in pairs with vampires even when he tried to hide it. It was a recipe for disaster.

Seth had been paired off first. He was the only one who harbored any kind of enthusiasm towards working with werewolves. We'd given him Rosalie – incontrovertibly the worst of them in terms of attitude – merely because no one else wanted to work with her.

Sam and Carlisle agreed to work together. Out of all the vampires, Carlisle was the only one Sam had even started to trust. He was an easily trustable guy – he'd worked in Fork's Hospital for years, saving the lives of those he was suppose to be ruthlessly slaughtering. But they were mortal enemies. That part wouldn't change.

Esme and Embry were paired. They were both the gentlest members of the clan and pack respectively.

Jasper and Paul. Jasper had that creepy mood control thing. I think Sam thought it would be helpful that – if Paul started to get out of hand – Jasper could calm him down. But oh man, if Paul realized the creepy southern Texas vampire was working mood-control on his mind, we were all in for Paul's Temper Explosion episode one-hundred.

Emmett took Jared. They both appeared pretty lighthearted about it – but I could tell they were both raring to rip each other to pieces.

Why I got stuck with Alice was a mystery to me. Was this some kind of test? A sick joke? I prayed I wouldn't "accidentally" kill her. I wanted to, but it would break the treaty.

Quil was on standby- watching our backs. Twenty minutes 'til the breaks started and Quil would sub in for Seth. I sighed. Five and a half hours until my first break. I tried not to think about how many there were until this patrol was over. (Forty-two and a half). Please, someone kill me now.

"Alright." Carlisle said, stepping into the center of the circle we'd formed in our reluctant pairs. "This is purely for training purposes. It's practice." He clasped his hands together in a praying fashion. It he wasn't always so composed, I could've sworn he was nervous. "Let's all remember to keep our heads."

He locked eyes with me, then to Paul. He also looked at Rosalie and her husband, Emmett. "Try to put all…_prejudices_ aside. We're on the same side this time around."

Esme and Embry shook hands cordially. Carlisle and Sam nodded to each other and took their positions. Emmett and Jared were stretching animatedly. I faced Alice, standing like a prissy ballet dancer before me, and vowed I would do my best not to kill her in the first thirty seconds.

"Ready?" she asked me, smiling. She knew I hated her. She _knew_ it. Now she was just toying with me. I wanted her dead. I nodded, and we began.

I lunged, forgetting all tactics and going for the obvious kill. Easily, barely moving, she skirted my attack. I was pissed. Blood boiled through my veins and blurred my vision. I was getting out of control fast. But I couldn't stop.

Instinct roaring in my ears, my heart skipped several beats. Months of instinctual hatred and malice and revulsion all balled into one crazed emotion I couldn't define. These monsters – bloodsucking demons – had almost destroyed the girl I love forever. They all had to go.

I lunged again, throwing the full force of my body into the attack. This wasn't a game, this wasn't training. I was trying to kill her now.

Her laughter as she twirled and spun around me infuriated me. Her graceful movements enraged me, setting every inch of my skin on fire. She was closing in on me – the circles she spun growing closer and closer. I could feel the cold wind her movements produced whip across my face. My breaking point was close. She knew. I was sure she could see it. But she didn't care.

As soon as I felt her marble limb brush across my skin, I lost it. I lashed out, all instinct, and struck her as hard as I could. We both went flying, nailing ourselves against a tree as its roots stretched and bent against our weight and inhuman power. When I felt her gasp underneath my weight, a gasp of shock mingled with fear – I snapped back to where I was. I realized I was in the position to kill her. Realized I could in only a few seconds – easily, without problem. I felt the eyes of eleven people on the back of my neck. Immediately, I phased out, stepping back, leaving Alice on her back at the base of the ruined tree.

"Jacob." Sam voiced sternly. He'd phased, too, and stood to my left. Almost ashamedly, I looked at him. "You're rotating with Seth now. Seth, you'll be taking Jacob's 7PM shift instead. Quil, sub for Jacob."

He stepped forward and grabbed me roughly by my arm and pulled me off to the side. "I know you're emotionally invested in this. I get it. But we're on the same side now. You either have to accept that – or step aside."

Sam then addressed the back. "No other shifts have changed. Stay with the forty-eight hour patrol schedule."

Without looking at anyone, I left in a hurry. I needed to clear my head- I was a wreck. I shouldn't have let her get to me. The treaty was more important than what had happened in the past. We were working together now – for Bella. Even if she didn't know it.

***BELLA POV***

My stomach dropped to the floor when I saw Jake come out of the forest instead of Seth.

"Jacob!" I screamed, taking the back steps two at a time. "Jacob! What happened?"

He was already dressed, but sweating head to toe. His hands were shaking.

"Jacob," I said again, reaching out to grab his arm. "Where Seth?"

"Seth fine," he said roughly, never slowing his pace towards Emily's. "We swapped hours this first shift, that's all."

"But why?" I asked, worried. "I thought the shift were practically set in stone."

"They can be rearranged," he answered. "By Alpha's orders."

"Sam sent you home?" I pressed, confused. "But-"

"Bella." Jake said sternly. "Enough questions for now, okay? The rest of the schedule will be the same. I go back in an hour. Seth will be here at 7."

He was definitely rattled. Something was wrong, but I knew I couldn't press it any further. Not now, anyway. "Okay."

I watched him carefully as he collapsed on the couch. He sat for a while with his head in his hands, rocking back and forth like he did when he was stressed. I had a thousand burning questions. I filled up a cup of water and brought it to him on the couch.

"Thanks," he mumbled, taking it and gulping it down in two gulps. Noting my continuing concern, he voiced, "I'm fine, Bella. Really."

I didn't believe him.

* * *

New CHP coming soon. Possible title: Speculation

**REVIEW :)**


	32. Speculation

******OBVIOUSLY, my computer can't handle Christmas. GAH. I've had this chapter ready for days! Couldn't wait to get to it you guys… but my stupid retard laptop had other ideas….******

A little more pack progression, then onto some J/B ROMANCEEEE

Loveeeee and Review :D

* * *

**CHP 32- SPECULATION**

Jacob went to sleep for most of his hour and, just as he promised, the schedule continued as normal. Though I'd tried, I couldn't get information out of any of the other wolves. Seth, coming in for Jake at 7PM, had tried to tell me – it was obvious Sam had issued another gag order over the whole pack. At least Seth looked apologetic.

It was the eighteenth hour now – Paul's second off hour. 1AM. Jacob was scheduled to circle back next, and I'd decided to wait up for him.

As the hours went by, I could tell the wolves were growing more and more exhausted. Their first shift was fine – it had all been in a day's work. They barely used the water cooler and they usually came out of the woods clothed. I was beginning to think Jake had set me up for a worst-case-scenario situation with all the preparations, but I was proven wrong before long. When the twenty-first hour rolled around, that's when I'd noticed a change.

It was Seth's third hour break. During the first two, he'd managed to small-talk for a few minutes and even asked how I was holding up substituting for Emily, but by 4AM he was wiped out. Water was all he wanted as he sleepily stumbled out of the woods. He crashed as soon as his body hit the couch.

By the thirty-eighth hour, Jared's fifth hour break, I started to panic. As soon as Jared phased, he puked all over the ground outside. He'd lost his clothes – he was caked in mud and dirt – the back of his hand was bleeding. He drank six glasses of water faster than I could fill them before throwing those up, too, before finally finding the couch and deflating.

Blood trickled down his fingers and onto the wooden floor. I held my breath, avoiding the daunting smell of rust and metal, and dug through Emily's first-aid drawer for gauze. When I returned to Jared's sleeping body, the gash had started to heal. Still, I wiped up the blood with a wet paper towel – pretending it was ketchup and refusing to breathe – and wrapped it anyway. Jared never budged. I knew he didn't need me to wrap his hand – the bandage would probably end up being a nuisance – but it made me feel better.

I sat by his side – horrified. What could they possibly be doing out in the woods for this many hours that would put that much physical strain on them? They were adapted to running. They were used to long hours. There had to be something else. Something out of the ordinary. Something they couldn't tell me about.

The worst part was waking them up. I could see how tired they were. Their bodies seemed to labor as their chests struggled to rise and fall in sleep. But every hour on the hour, as another man appeared at the edge of the forest awaiting their one hour hiatus, I had to wake up the wolf that was finally resting and seemingly push them back out into battle. It was horrible; I felt like a slave driver.

Though I knew it was Sam's orders they were following and not mine, it didn't feel that way when they slowly stood, groaning and rubbing their eyes, too tired to remember where they were. The _worst _of the worst was the change in expression as soon as their mind awakened enough for them to remember what was waiting for them. That I wasn't just waking them up for breakfast. It killed me. By the end of this, I would be as exhausted as they were.

I did my best, though. I had clean clothes laid out for every wolf that wanted any. Jake took them out of courtesy, I was pretty sure, but it made me feel more useful. I made sure they all drank water. I had food ready, if they could stomach it – which hadn't been the case on the second day. I even gave Seth a hug once before he left again. I hoped Emily would be proud of me.

Forty-eight hours proved a long time to wait around. I slept occasionally, usually when Seth or Jacob were with me, but most of the time I was awake and pacing. It was hard to sleep with so many coming and going – especially when they were throwing up, bleeding or cursing loudly upon arrival.

The time between shift changes lent me plenty of agonizing free-time. Most of the time was spent in speculation. Why were they training so hard? What was it out there that had become so taxing? Why wouldn't they tell me? What was the point of secrecy?

I made a late lunch the afternoon of the second day and brought it up to Emily. To my relief, she was awake and smiling.

"How are the wolves doing?" she asked.

"They're exhausted," I answered. "Lots of cussing and throwing up. Paul's knocked out downstairs." I had the schedule down to an art now. It was 3PM now. Jacob would come back next, then Sam followed by Seth.

Emily shook her head. "I've told Sam not to push them so hard, but he insists its necessary."

I seized the opportunity. "Do you know what they're doing out there?" I tried to sound casual, busying myself with the suddenly demanding and meticulous task of unfolding her paper napkin for her.

"Sam's set a gag order on the pack. 'Training' is all they're allowed to say. Part of me thinks Sam just likes the whole secrecy business." She smiled. "Makes it seem more like a game."

"But you know," I guessed. "Sam has told you."

"I know a lot of things, Bella." She answered coyly. "Perks to being the Alpha's wife, I suppose. Sam can't put a gag order on himself."

I was frustrated. "Tell me something. _Anything_, I begging you." I sounded pathetic. I explained it the best way I could. "It's hard seeing my…brothers so exhausted when I don't know what they're doing. Is it dangerous? Are they in serious…trouble, or something?"

"They're training, Bella. That's all I can say."

This was the first time I'd ever been mad at Emily. Everyone knew what was going on but me. Emily, Sam, the entire pack. I'm the only one left in the dark.

"It has to do with me, then." I accused impulsively. "That's why no one will tell me."

Emily didn't respond.

"Victoria's here." I decided. "With her friend. They're fighting her off."

"Bella, I wouldn't-"

"Wouldn't what, jump to conclusions? What other conclusion could I draw from this?" I huffed.

She stayed silent. I was about to continue, to defend myself and pathetically make my case why I knew I should be included, when a commotion downstairs refocused me.

"Fine," I said, throwing her what I hoped was a spiteful look. I wished I could've said more, but a series of _awful _noises had me tripping down the stairs as fast as I could go.

"Jake!" I cried as soon as I saw him. He was doubled over, hands on his knees, shivering from head to toe and retching on the floor.

"What the cr-" Paul stammered, roughened by the rude awakening.

I was torn between getting Paul out the door and taking care of Jake. As best as I could, I opted for both. I filled up two glasses of water so fast it sloshed over the sides. I gave one to Paul – still staring at Jake with wide eyes – and the other I set on top of the TV. Moving a small trashcan towards the wooden chair next to Paul with my foot, I grabbed Jake's shoulders and gently pushed him down into the chair. He threw up again, thankfully making it into the trash this time, moaning with the revulsion of it.

"Dang, son," Paul groaned, getting to his feet. "You never lose it. Can't imagine how the other guys are now…" He leapt weakly over the soiled floorboard by the door onto the back porch. Cupping his hands, he poured water from the cooler and splashed it across his face and shoulders. Without drying off, he walked towards the forest to rejoin the pack.

Jake threw up again, and I turned my back to the forest, willing myself not to follow suit.

"Are you okay?" I asked, stupidly. Did he look okay, Bella?

His only answer was a weak groan.

I grabbed his glass of water from atop the TV and pressed it into his hands, willing him to drink. He sipped it slowly while his body came down off its adrenaline high. It was almost like being a wolf was a drug – it took a few minutes to detox before they could be normal again.

"We're not use to phasing so much on so little sleep." He took a ragged, tired breath. "Even with our adapted bodies it's not enough. We're phasing in the forest, too, on command. There's so much switching back and forth." He shook his head back and forth with his eyes closed. "It's not normally this bad."

I crouched next to him and ran my fingers through his sweaty hair. He turned towards me and tried to smile weakly. "Sorry for messing up the floor," he managed. "I can get it…"

"No," I protested. "Go to sleep. You've only got, what, fifty minutes now? You need it."

He nodded and rose to his feet long enough to take a step towards the couch and collapse.

Thirty-third hour. Sixteen hours to go.

The stiff patrol finally ended. By the end of it, my joints ached. My head hurt. My whole body was throbbing from lack of sleep. If I felt this lousy, I couldn't imagine how it was for the pack. The concept of forty-eight hours – running, phasing, not eating, barely sleeping – was unfathomable to me.

Emily was on her feet, all but fully recovered from her pregnancy scare. We still weren't sure what had gone wrong. The baby hadn't phased, and Emily showed no signs of ever having gone through prenatal trauma. The whole incident was very short-lived and unexplained.

I was thankful she was up and moving again. I'd never seen the pack in worse shape, and there was no doubt that I wouldn't have been able to handle their return by myself. All seven of them were torn to pieces – unstable, shaking, fighting the instinct to change back after so many hours of constant shifting.

Under the thick scent of sweat, musk, dirt and blood was a tiny hint of an unbefitting flowery smell. I only smelled it occasionally, and when I did it was fleeting. It was similar, if not exact, to what I'd smelled on Jacob one of the nights he'd spent with me. He'd attributed it to Emily's feminine soap from the shower they all used. Remembering how defensive he'd become when I'd brought it up, I kept my thoughts to myself.

The pack took showers while I fixed something easy to stomach – chicken soup. A huge, massive pot full. I even added extra celery since I knew Seth was a big fan. Though I wasn't sure if they'd want it, Jared ate a solid two bowls and the rest of them followed suit. It wasn't as much as they normally ate, definitely not, but it was more than I expected and put me at ease. They were clean and fed and, now, sleeping.

"You did a great job," Emily complemented, hugging me tightly. "I couldn't have taken better care of them."

"Thanks," I muttered in appreciation. "I think I'm gonna take a nap. I feel like I haven't slept in a week."

"You've earned it," she said. "I remember how tough it was when there were _half _as many wolves."

I smiled weakly and walked over to the den. It was packed. All three chairs, the couch, the rug on the floor. The entire pack was out and out for good. Maybe I should just go home.

"Hey," Jake whispered, coming up behind me. I hadn't realized he wasn't asleep yet. They all looked the same with their eyes closed and their faces shoved three-inches deep into pillows. "Why don't we just go to my house? It'll be more comfortable than the floor."

"I don't have my truck with me," I said.

My keys, battered and worn, glinted in the sun from the window as Jake held them up before me.

"Jake," I complained, "You shouldn't be driving when you're this tired. It's not safe."

"It took five minutes. Relax." He brushed me off, but his statement was diminished by the insanely huge yawn he produced seconds later. "My house. You drive."

I said a quick goodbye to Emily and climbed into my truck. The poor thing hadn't been driven in a while. I hoped it would make it to Billy's.

Jake was asleep, snoring with his cheek pressed against the glass, before I ever pulled out of Emily's. An immense feeling of relief flooded through me: all the wolves were safe and home. There was so much more to the pack than I'd realized, and a lot more to being connected to the pack than I'd previously assumed. At times, it was going to be a full-time job and not always as easy as Emily portrayed it to be. She had years of practice – starting out with taking care of only Sam. I was joining the ranks seven strong, eight if Leah ever came back. Did I want this kind of responsibility? If I considered it again, knowing what I knew now after two full days of grueling pack patrols, would I still choose it?

The roar of the truck turning off woke Jake and alerted Billy to our arrival. He greeted us at the door, smiling. I was glad we were past the stage where Billy was always trying to warn me and convince me to steer clear of the Cullens. Though I understood his reasons behind it, part of me felt half of his hostility had been because he wanted me for Jacob. Now, I saw Billy as much as I saw Charlie, and we were on good terms.

"Bella Swan! I haven't seen you in too long."

"Hi, Billy." I said, leaning over awkwardly to hug him. "Jake and I were at Sam and Emily's with the rest of the gang.

"Another long patrol," he said, not as a question. An advantage to Billy being a council member was that he knew everything about the pack – we didn't have to hide the reality of it from him like we did from Charlie.

"We're both exhausted."

"I can see that," Billy observed. Jake's eyes were barely opened as he leaned against the doorpost. "Come on in. I'll be in the den if you need anything - there some great games on today."

"I'm sure Charlie is watching them, too. Thanks, Billy."

I took Jake's hand and led him down the tiny, cramped hall to his even tinier bedroom. He looked so massive standing in it, he looked ridiculous. I tried not to laugh.

"This bed's all we've got, I'm afraid." He collapsed onto it, scooting back so his shoulders were against the wall, and closed his eyes. "It's better than the floor, though. My muscles couldn't take that after the past two days."

I crawled in next to him. Like Billy said, it had been too long since I'd been here last. I tried to remember the last time. Quil's change? The episode with Leah? I couldn't remember. However long it had been, I'd missed it smell of all the different wolves blended together to create a smell that was characteristic of Emily's place, but the Black's house smelled distinctly of Jacob.

"I'm going to sleep," Jake whispered, curling his arm around my waist and pulling me to him.

"Good," I said, nestled against him.

"You did a great job at Emily's. You could give her a run for her money." A smile played across his lips and he took a deep breath, his eyes still closed. "But we can talk about it later. I'm really tired."

"Goodnight, Jake." I whispered quietly against his chest.

"Mmm," he answered, and he fell into sleep.

As tired as I was, I couldn't doze off. My limbs ached, my eyelids were heavy – but as hard as I tired I couldn't sleep. I blamed it partially on the heat of his body. It wasn't easy to sleep in a sauna.

Lazily, unthinkingly, I began drawing shapes on Jake's overheated skin with my fingertips. I started out with mindless circles, twirling and cascading across the plains of his chest, senseless pictures on a blank canvas.

I turned my elevated wrist towards me as my fingers drew another elongated circle, and the wooden wolf charm caught my eye. In the morning light, I could see it more clearly than when Jacob had first given it to me. I hadn't had time to take a proper, deserving look at it. It was beautiful – intricate designs carved into its shiny wooden surface. It represented Jacob, the pack, the tribe – everything I held dear.

Jake's deep, rumbling breaths filled the tiny space between us, his skin scented strongly by the pines he'd spent his last few days in. His warmth, his breath, his scent - I relished in these pieces of him while my fingers danced along his skin.

It was in this relaxing, peaceful, silent moment that I realized I could have this forever. This life. A life filled with huge meals and laughing and a united family that cared about each other and continued to grow. A life filled with real love and Jacob forever.

Closing my eyes, I pictured our lives ten years from now. How it _could_ be, if I chose this. Married? A dark-haired child or two running around in the Forks mist like we did when we were kids? Quiet, low-key evenings on the porch talking easily and laughing effortlessly. Days filled with pack adventures and nights filled with continuous love and abounding warmth.

It would have its cons, too. Jacob would always be tied to the pack. His hours were unpredictable and I assumed they always would be. And did I really want six crazy, all-consuming brother-in-laws? I grinned to myself. I thought of them as my brothers already. I could barely consider their absurd eating habits, constant bickering and playful jabs in my direction as a con.

What I had once thought a loss – the loss of Edward, the Cullens, an immortal life I'd once longed for – now led to a precious gain. In this moment, I could think his name because Jake was here and unconsciously kept me together. I could say farewell to Edward. Say my final goodbye and dive into my new, better future with Jacob.

This life wouldn't be for everyone. The quiet, secluded life cut off from the busy world. It wasn't for Renee. But I knew I could be happy. I was happy now. My life here would be fulfilling. Perfect. And suddenly I wanted it, without a doubt. No qualms, no second-thoughts. I wanted a life with Jacob.

In my unconscious thoughts, I'd traced mountains across Jake's chest – adding misshapen trees and wolves to match. Under my fingertips I felt goose bumps and looked up to see his open eyes gazing down at me.

"If you keep doing that, I'm _never_ going to be able to sleep." He groaned.

Embarrassed, I dropped my hand, fisting my fingers between us. "Sorry," I mumbled, blushing.

At first I thought he might be angry, but it soon became apparent that he was harboring a very different type of emotion.

He rolled his shoulders away from the wall and placed his body on top of mine, resting on his elbows so I felt none of his weight, and surprised me my pressing his lips to mine with unexpected finesse.

"Jake," I protested against his mouth. "You need to sleep…"

His fingers twisted through my hair, "You're the one keeping me awake," he breathed.

His fervent kisses halted all further protests. My thoughts grew hazy – a nebulous fog through which I could only see Jacob, hear Jacob, feel Jacob. His fingers and palms on my face, neck, and shoulders leaving trails of burning fire and tingling ice.

My own fingers, previously confined to his chest, moved to his shoulders and arms surrounding me. They glided over his skin- a mind of their own – tracing the veins and bends and scars of his arms.

"I love you," I whispered to him.

"I love you, too." He whispered gruffly back, pulling his lips from mine and resting his forehead against me. His eyes were deep and loving – a flowing, liquid brown. When he kissed me again, it was more excited than before, and I could feel him smiling against my lips.

He rolled again – a feat I would've thought impossible on his cot-sized bed – but now he was on his back. My hair fell across his shoulder and face and I broke the kiss to brush it back and pull it behind my ear.

Looking down at his face below mine, he was grinning, practically glowing in a way almost humorous, but I knew my face must look the same. He allowed me only seconds to breathe before eagerly pulling my face back down to his once again. There were few parts of me not set ablaze by his touch. I was on fire by his touch, the heat of his skin and desire.

After the longest time, his kisses slowed, his hands stilled, his breathing relaxed. Or lips part for the final time and he scooted me down so my face was on his chest. I melted against him- molded to the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

"I really do have to sleep now," he said, laughing quietly.

"Goodnight," I whispered back, voice full of contentment and love.

"Goodnight, Isabella Swan."

* * *

Review!


	33. Shower

I've been spelling Quil's last name wrong for like 30 chapters now. Thanks for not telling me :P

_**Stephenie Meyer killed my muse because I googled her and found out she hates fanfiction *dies*. I think I might take a break. Don't blame me, blame her haha**_

**CHP 33 – SHOWER**

The weeks that passed were easy. After the night we spent together after the stiff patrol, Jake and I had grown even closer. We hardly left each other's sides. Our days were filled with jokes and lightheartedness.

The pack ran regular patrols again – almost seeming to lighten their schedule – running two at a time, eight hour shifts.

That left five of my insane brothers off patrol all at once. I'd gotten used to just one. Five was a lot to handle.

One thing I never thought I'd see was wolves playing _board games_. I had to do a double-take when I first walked into Emily's, coming over after finishing a day at work. Mike was still obnoxious, but at least I didn't have to deal with him at school anymore. I could've sworn he was signing up to work whenever I did, though. Had I ever worked a shift without Mike over my shoulder? Relentless.

"Are you really playing board games?" I scoffed, thoroughly taken aback. "Come on, you guys don't have something better to do?"

"We don't have girlfriends. Or jobs. Or school. Or patrol. Paul's a retard and broke the xBox. So, no, we don't." Seth explained, throwing dice across the board a little too hard. Paul caught one before they hit the ground.

"That xBox was stupid," Paul huffed. "Totally rigged."

"Tell that to Quil when he finds out you smashed it to bits," Jacob chimed in.

"Wanna play, Bella?" Seth asked, re-rolling the dice.

"I think I'll pass. You guys are cheaters anyway, I can feel it."

"Only Paul," Jake said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me down into his lap as I walked by.

A dice came flying right for my face before Jacob snatched it out of the air. I tried to get up, realizing I was in Paul's direct line of fire, but Jacob threw the dice back and wrapped his arms more tightly around me and leaned his chin on my shoulder from behind.

"Where are the rest of them?" I asked, surveying the board game. It was obvious the wolves had played it before. Some of the cards were torn and crumpled and the board had a layer of duck tape right down the middle. Probably Paul's doing.

"Emily's in the shower. Sam and Embry are in the woods. Quil is at Naye's, babysitting." Seth answered.

Paul snorted. "Babysitting."

I smiled. "So I'm guessing none of you have gotten used to the idea."

"As long as it's not me." Paul said, reclining back in his chair, arms behind his head. "I'd hate to have to wait a solid two decades before I could get some serious action."

"Imprinting on a baby might be the only chance you have, Paul. You might wanna reconsider…"

I ducked.

"I have to go home and get ready," I said, prying myself from Jake's grasp. "Emily's baby shower is today." I tried to ignore the looming knot in my stomach. I couldn't believe it was already the end of July. Time had flown.

"I'll drive you home," Jacob offered. I gave him a skeptical look.

"You want to come over while I set up a baby shower? Charlie's already run for the hills."

"Yeah, sure." He responded coolly. "I don't mind helping."

"Emily's gonna be disappointed if she shows up and all she finds is you two making out in Charlie's kitchen," Paul voiced considerately.

I gave Jake a look, to which he held up his hands in surrender. "I've no devious plans," he said.

"Fine," I caved, throwing him the keys. "But I don't have time to cook for you either."

"I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself."

I heard Paul mumbled something incoherent, obviously only meant for Jake to hear, and as we walked out the door Jake picked up an empty bowl off the counter and chucked it blindly behind him, grinning when his attack was greeted with a painful sounding thud and gruesome exclamation.

I already had everything set. The house had been cleaned meticulously over the past few days. The windows, the floors, the bathrooms – all spotless. I'd picked up a cake from the lone Forks bakery on my way home from work.

Kindly and unselfishly, Emily had helped me prepare a variety of different finger foods and hors d'oeuvres which I'd stowed away safely in the fridge, taping a note on them to keep Charlie at bay. He may have snuck one or two – but that was fine compared to the handfuls each wolf had tried to sneak while we were still making them.

"Back off!" Emily had yelled, brandishing a wooden spoon at Paul and then smacking Jacob's hand away with a spatula. "These are for the baby shower."

"The baby doesn't want them," Paul whined. I'd rolled my eyes. "Just one?"

"One to you means twenty." Emily shot back, denying him.

"Please?"

"Get out of my kitchen!" She'd yelled animatedly. I'd cracked up, but secretly I'd hidden two or three under a napkin for later when I could sneak them to Jake. Emily knew, of course. But none of the other wolves did.

Now, pulling out the food and laying it on the counter, I adopted Emily's stern ways with Jacob when he tried to steal one.

"No, Jake!" I protested, batting his hand away pathetically. His hand was so hard, I barely moved it. I understood why Emily used hard and fast utensils.

He groaned theatrically, pretending to sulk. I pulled a box of cheese crackers from the pantry and celery from the fridge and threw them at him. "Go sit in the den or something."

He made a face. "Celery?"

"_Go. _Or I'll make you leave." I said sternly.

"_Make_ me?" he teased.

I did not smile.

"Fine," he said, cradling the food pathetically – trying to play up my sympathies. Not happening. I had work to do.

The guests weren't supposed to arrive until 6o'clock. Emily was coming at 5:30. Jessica and Angela were forcing their way in at 4:45. It was two; I still had some time before chaos ensued. I'd definitely been fighting nausea off and on all morning, vowing I'd prefer a gruesome suicidal death than a social gathering any day.

I pulled a shopping bag out from underneath the sink and surveyed the contents inside. Everything Jessica had listed: plates, napkins, forks, knives, streamers, cups. Since Emily was waiting to find out the sex of the baby, we'd gone with a pale yellow and sea foam green theme. I didn't understand baby colors. "Baby blue" and "baby pink". Why can't your kid handle regular colors?

Seeing my reflection in the window above the kitchen sink, I opted to take a shower.

"Stay put, Jake. I'm going to shower."

All I got was a weak grunting response. Typical. He must be watching a game or have a mouthful of food.

This shower was not relaxing. No matter how hot the water got, my muscles were tense. Just picturing my house – Charlie's house – filled with a whole bunch of women gushing over an unborn baby, socializing, eating dainty finger foods unnerved me. Girls did so many pointless things.

I was especially nervous because I didn't know a lot of the people on the invite list. I knew Sue Clearwater and Naye. Angela and Jessica were coming to help me, but I hardly counted them as guests, though I hoped Jessica would be able to tone it down to at least appear normal.

I was worried Leah might show up. Seth had wanted me to invite her so I had, but now I was second-guessing my decision. I pushed all the worry from my mind. No one had seen Leah in months. She wasn't going to show up for this of all things.

The list of who I didn't know far outweighed ones I was familiar with. Mrs. Call, Mrs. Ateara, Mrs. Young, Mrs. Uley, Kim Connweller, Paul's mom and sister – at least all those names I could tie in with the pack. What made me more anxious were the names of Emily's friends from high school or college that I'd gotten from Seth. I'd tried to memorize their names: Ashley, Nikki, Kristen, Tinsel, Elizabeth, Jodelle. But a lot of good memorizing those will do when I haven't seen their faces.

And I couldn't lie to myself and say I wasn't _terrified_ to meet Rachel and Rebecca Black. Jacob's sisters. Possibly my future in-laws. Jacob's mom passed away before we'd even become friends. These sisters were the closest thing I was going to get as far as meeting his mom. The thought terrified me. I wanted them to like me. Most of all, I didn't want them to be like Leah. I took a deep breath. At least Jacob's sister wasn't Leah.

There were twenty guests in all – including Jessica, Angela and myself. I knew for a fact I'd never had that many people over in my lifetime. Could this house even hold that many?

Maybe not everyone will show up.

Jessica had picked out a dress for me to wear. The only good thing I could say about it was that it had been cheap. It was yellow and white. A knee-length sundress cut straight across with thin, tiny straps. At least it was modest and unobtrusive. You never know what you'll get when you send Jessica to Port Angeles on a mission.

I considered it short of a miracle that my hair was cooperating, but it was, and I managed to put some soft curls around the edge of my hair. I looked very summery and, I hoped, shower appropriate.

A knock on the bathroom door made me jump. I flung it open, expecting Jessica or Angela to have shown up early with some sort of horrid last minute plans, but it was Jake.

The way he leaned up against the doorpost was reminiscent of the first time he'd slept here. The night after I threw myself on the cliff in La Push. He'd brought me home and stayed the night to keep my nightmares at bay.

He smiled, and I knew he was feeling the déjà vu.

"You were taking a long time." He said, smiling. "I was making sure you hadn't fallen in the shower."

"What would you have done if I had?" I responded, mimicking the conversation we'd had so long ago.

Jacob tilted his head, thoughtful, and answered. "Come in and gotten you."

I blushed.

"Your friends will be here soon," he said, steering the conversation in the different direction.

I nodded.

"You look pretty." He continued. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, then moving to my lips. His hand found the thin straps of my dress and he fingered them, pulling away. "Did you pick this out?"

"Jessica did."

He nodded, appraising me. "You should let her shop for you more often."

"I thought you liked my regular clothes," I said, looking down at the dress I still didn't feel entirely comfortable in.

"I do," he commented. "But I like this," he dragged his hand across my shoulder and collarbone and trailed his fingers down to my elbow. "A lot."

Standing on my tiptoes, I reached up and planted a light kiss on his lips. It was rare when I initiated kissing, but sudden I just felt the need to. "Thanks."

Rapid, frantic knocking on the front door broke us apart. I glanced at the clock as I passed my room. 4:30. Definitely Jessica.

***JACOB POV***

Bella went downstairs to answer the door, but I lingered upstairs – not entirely psyched about coming in contact with Jessica Stanley again.

Without permission, I wandered into Bella's room. I'd never been in here without her knowing. Hands shoved into my jeans pockets, I perused the stack of books she had on the nightstand by her bad. _Wuthering Heights. Romeo and Juliet. Pride and Prejudice. Sense and Sensibility. Emma_. All boring classics I knew she loved, though I would never know why.

I moved on to the walls. They were plastered in pictures, drawings, notes and all sorts of things. I smiled when I saw a picture of a wolf drawn by a Bella several years younger than the one I knew, and I wondered what had prompted her to draw that. There were pictures of her school friends, ones I liked and ones I didn't. Angela, the quiet one, she was my favorite. She was nice to Bella. Jessica was a little too loud for my taste – kind of obnoxious at times – but I knew without her Bella would've crawled into an antisocial hermit's cave for her entire high school career, only surfacing for classes.

There was a group picture of kids she'd told me about. The ones I knew well, Angela and Jessica, and others. Eric, the kid Bella says is a future DJ of America. Tyler, the one that almost crushed Bella with a van when she first got here. Lauren, the one who "hates everyone and everything". Finally, Mike. I had a deep dislike of Mike Newton. Even in the picture, he's ignoring the camera and staring at Bella, practically begging her to notice him. I almost felt bad for him. Between a vampire and a werewolf, the poor guy didn't stand a chance. But by now he should've realized that. Bella was mine and mine forever. Time to move on, buddy.

Lastly, there was a picture of Bella with her mom, Renee. I'd never met Renee. Not that I remember, anyway. Bella was a baby when her mom divorced Charlie and took her away. She never came back.

Bella looked nothing like her mom. From the picture, I could tell her mom was…eccentric? Outgoing? The way she smiled hugely but was looking past the camera, they way she was dressed in mismatched clothes, how she had her arm thrown over Bella's shoulder like they were friends – all these things matched the brief descriptions Bella had given me of Renee. "Scatterbrained and extroverted". The complete opposite of my Bella.

On a whim, I picked up a sharpie and a miniature notepad from her desk and popped the cap. In my own messy, pitiable handwriting I wrote a message to Bella and stuck it on her wall, right over the top of Mike's face.

I could hear Bella's loudest friend starting on a rampage and figured I'd better go see what the problem is. Taking one last sweeping glance around the room, the turned off the light and walked down the stairs.

***BELLA POV***

"You. Look. Awesome!" Jessica exclaimed.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "So do you."

"I know, right? It's like I was born for this dress, you know?" She had on a striped navy and white halter dress. Very beachy, very summery – very unlike Forks.

"Angela's on her way," she continued. "This is gonna be great, Bella. Seriously. Like, don't even worry about it."

I nodded, turning when I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Um, hello, Bella, there's a boy in your house!" Jessica said over my shoulder.

"Jess, you know Jake…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But this is a baby shower. No guys allowed!"

"Jake's just here to-"

"Time for him to go!" Jessica exclaimed, looking thoroughly put out that I hadn't purged the area of all males before she arrived.

I looked at him apologetically. Jessica wasn't being rude so much as she was just being her normal self.

"I've got to head back anyway," he said politely. "I've got to go to work."

"Where do you work?" Jessica asked, suddenly intrigued. As soon as Jake opened his mouth it's like she forgot operation purge-all-males. I tried not to sigh.

"On the reservation. Forestry research and conservation." He lied smoothly. It was obvious he'd had to answer this question many times before.

"Okay, awesome," Jessica said, immediately losing interest. What had she wanted him to say? Something of the male model, mechanic, bar tender variety, I'm sure.

"I'll see you tonight, Bella," he said, placing his lips on mine for a goodbye kiss. Jake usually never kissed me in public, but as he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried my lips in his I wondered if he'd momentarily forgotten that Jessica stood a foot away with her mouth hanging open. He untwined himself from me and reopened the front door for himself, winking at me before closing it behind him.

"Oh. My word. Bella. Hot-tie." She stammered.

"The shower stuff is in the kitchen," I muttered, leaving her standing at the door in awe.

I was thankful when Angela arrived so that all of Jessica's attention was not focused on me. They immediately busied themselves with hanging streamers, unwrapping plates, filling cups with ice – all sorts of minute details. Angela brought a vase of flowers for the table and a banner that expressed congratulations to Emily on her pregnancy.

Angela looked great. She had on a white dress – cap sleeved and simple. Her hair was pulled to the side in a cute ponytail, and with her glasses she looked chic and sophisticated.

"Everyone can put presents on this table," Jessica said, pointing to the end table where Charlie usually keeps the remotes and cans of beer. It had been completely cleared and covered in a yellow tablecloth.

"Presents?" I asked.

"For the new baby. Clothes and toys." Angela answered. I appreciated her simple, quick answer, cutting off Jessica before she could wind herself up for another tirade concerning my clueless life. When the doorbell rang, I quickly excused myself from decorating to answer it.

"Emily!" I greeted, and we hugged. It was strange, hugging Emily, as I wasn't normally accustomed to hugging anyone but Jake, but it felt right. We were real friends.

"I'm so excited," Emily expressed as we walked towards the kitchen. You could easily tell she was pregnant now – several months along. "Thanks so much for putting this together."

I smiled. "Emily, this is Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber. My friends from school. They helped me put it together."

Emily warmly thanked them for the help and hugged them both. I briefly wondered if I should've told them what Embry told me when I first met Emily – not to stare at the scars on her beautiful face – but they both had enough decency to figure that out on their own, and I was thankful.

It was close to six when we finally stopped decorating. The house was unrecognizable. All Charlie's masculine things – his gun, his fishing trophies, his sports magazines and beef jerky packets – had all been shoved into the hall closet. Everything was dainty, yellow and utterly feminine. Only Jessica could work this kind of magic.

I thought I might throw up when the doorbell rang at 6o'clock. The torment started now. Introductions were the worst. Once I got through them, the worst would be over, and Jessica would handle the rest. I tried to put on a pleasant face as I answered the door.

Two Quileute girls, both Emily's age, stood in front of me, both wearing dresses similar to mine but in shades of pink and tan. One's hair was braided traditionally, another's straightened to a pin with dramatic, sharp bangs.

"Hi," one of them said, reaching out a hand to shake mine. "I'm Nikki. This is Tinsel," she added gesturing to the one in braids. 'We're here for Emily's shower?"

"Yeah, come on in." I said in response, shaking her hand. "I'm Bella."

"Nice to meet you," she said, stepping past me and walking down the hall. Emily met them both with warm, friendly hugs. I admired her forthcoming spirit.

The doorbell rang again, and I turned to answer it, taking another deep breath, hoping this one would go as smoothly.

Two more stood on the doorstep, dressed appropriately and laden with gifts. "We're here for Emily?" one asked, bouncing on her feet. She was ultra fashion forward –sporting leggings with a belted floral jumper. Her hair was short and straight. The other one stood silently by, looking at the ground.

I nodded. "Yeah, come in."

The bouncy one danced past me, smiling, making a b-line straight for Emily to congratulate her.

"I'm Kristen." The shy one said, running her hands through her choppy black hair. She must've been nervously messing with it all the way here- because it was real short of being called an absolute mess. "You're, um, Isabella?"

"Bella," I corrected.

"Emily said you were really nice," she complimented. "I know she appreciates this."

"Thanks," I said.

We stood there awkwardly for a second – both unsure of what to say next – until she nodded at me and went to join her companion.

Hopefully, that would be as awkward as it got.

The next pair to arrive was Elizabeth and Jodelle. Elizabeth was older than I expected a friend of Emily's to be – maybe thirty-five or more – and Jodelle was young. Maybe seventeen. Kim Connweller came up the porch stairs behind them – joining in the introductions. She was pretty, with long dark hair and blue eyes. A good match for Jared.

The pack member's families began to arrive shortly after. For the most part – I could guess to which mother each son belonged. Quil's mom had a self-assuredness about her I recognized in Quil. Mrs. Call looked exactly like Embry with longer, wavy hair. Mrs. Uley and Mrs. Young arrived together, both looking excited as future grandmothers. I never really took into account that other people would love this baby, too, just like the pack. It was hard to connect the real world and the world of the forest. Somehow they just didn't mesh well together,

Naye and Clair showed up a little late – Naye looking flustered and Clair running around her ankles before I even had the door open. The house was getting full, but I figured it would be bad karma if I hoped for a sudden flash flood to keep away the rest of the party.

Only three more to go: Rachel, Rebecca and Leah.

Saved the best for last, I supposed.

Jessica had already choraled the group and was instigating some sort of baby shower game I had no intention of being part of. Everyone seemed happy – mingling, branching out – and I was grateful for that. They didn't need me to tell them how to socialize. And like I suspected, Jessica would have everything under control.

"Bella, come play!" Angela called from the couch. A few others joined in her recruitment of me. Blushing, coming up with the politest words of refusal I could manage, I was saved from the task by the doorbell.

* * *

To be continued eventually.


	34. Return

IMM BACK :) Thanks for all the messages encouraging me to keep going! Things will be slower, but I'm trying to persevere :) I can't leave Jacob with no one in the end, after all.

**CHP 34 - RETURN**

Well, saved is a relative term. Generally meaning something positive. The fact that I was only expecting three more arrivals (well, two, because Leah wasn't going to show)– two of them being whom I was most anxious about meeting – turned the momentary feeling of being saved from the game into the equivalence of being chosen as the next living sacrifice to be burnt at the stake.

Knees involuntarily quivering with nerves, I walked to the door and held my breath as I turned the plated handle.

"Bella, right?" The taller one asked immediately. "I'm Rachel. Jacob's sister."

"Hi," I stammered pathetically. They were both absolutely gorgeous. Could I have expected any less, seeing as how their brother looks? Tan, perfect skin, dark eyes and gleaming white teeth to match instantly brought out my physical insecurities.

"I'm Rebecca," the second sister voiced. "We've heard so much about you – from Emily and Jacob both."

"Good things, I hope?" My voice cracked on the first word as I stepped out of the way for them to enter, and I felt my face go hot. Why did I have to be so awkward?

"Only the best," she answered, smiling. "Sorry if we're a little bit late. We stopped by to see Billy on our way – it's been a long time since our last visit."

"Don't worry about it," I muttered, closing the door behind them. "Um, how's Billy today?"

"Same as always," Rachel answered over her shoulder as she made her way towards the kitchen. "Watching another game with Charlie."

I nodded. So that's where Charlie had run to.

"Rachel! Rebecca!" Emily called cheerfully as they appeared through the wide doorframe. She was sitting in Charlie's chair, surrounded by presents and guests. "I'm so glad you both could come!"

"We wouldn't miss it, Emily." Rebecca voiced, sliding her purse off her tanned shoulder and setting it against the wall.

"You're just in time for games!" Jessica interjected. "Here," she ordered, "You sit here…"

While Jessica took charge of the new arrivals, I slipped back into the kitchen. An hour had passed. How long did showers usually last? Waves of laughter and Jessica's ever-present piercing orders wafted through the doorway to reach me. I took a deep breath, grabbed a glass from the white cabinet and filled it with tap water. Resting the glass on the edge of the counter, watching tiny air bubbles glide to the top, I focused on the glistening shapes made by beams of light cast by the late sun.

"Am I late?" A familiar voice asked behind me. I jumped and spun around, nearly sloshing water onto the floor.

Leah, standing barefoot in my kitchen, was scantily dressed and extremely dirty. Her hair had grown out several inches and her jean shorts showed off her bruised thighs and knees. Cuts graced her forehead and stretched across her collarbone, easily exposed in the ripped tank top she was sporting.

I faltered in my surprise, failing to come up with anything to say.

She waved the golden invitation I know noticed she was holding and shrugged. "Thought I should make an appearance. I didn't have time to change..."

"Here," I answered hastily, dumping what remained of my drink in the sink and starting towards her. "I've got some clothes you can wear."

Walking past her, I saw her eyebrows rise in surprise as she stepped out of my way. I, too, was a little taken aback at my own seemingly welcome attitude. Leah and I had never been on the best of terms.

Leah was a good bit taller than I was. Three or four inches in the least. I dropped to my knees in front of my dresser and starting shifting through shirts and pairs of pants I thought might fit.

"Oh_ gah_," Leah groaned in disgust.

"What?" I asked, looking back at her. If I was offering to let her borrow my clothes after she'd disappeared for months, the least she could do is not guffaw at my room…

"I'm a sick _mess_," she exclaimed to herself, leaning towards the mirror propped near my closet door. She let out a stream of curses to herself before forming another complete sentence. "I guess this is what a few months without a mirror will do for you."

Rising off the ground, I turned and held out a variety of suitable clothes. Jeans, khakis, another tank top. Not exactly typical baby shower apparel, but clean, and free, which was the best I could offer. "You can change and wash up in the bathroom."

"Thanks," she muttered, turning from the mirror and taking the clothes. "I owe you one."

I waited until she returned, taking her muddy, worn garments to the laundry room and throwing them in with my own. Leah stood with her back towards the door, facing the window, picking at her nails.

"Does the pack know you're back?" I asked.

Not taking her eyes off her nails for more than a second, she frowned. "I lost all connection with the pack as soon as I deserted. I can't hear them, and they can't hear me."

I hesitated before continuing, "Will you tell them you're back?"

She glanced at me over her shoulder. "I'm not back."

Pause. "Well, you're here."

"I'm not a part of the pack anymore."

"What about Seth? He's been worried sick." I pressed, clearly pressing my luck."And Sue?"

Leah dropped her hands to her side and turned towards me. Her face was blank and then, ever so suddenly, the hardness I remembered returned, sharpening her fierce facial features. "Thanks for the clothes," she spat, and pushed past me into the hallway.

Leah had disappeared. Again. I tried to push it from my mind. I couldn't worry about that now.

"Bella!" Jessica cried, "Where have you been? You missed the first two games!"

"Sorry," I muttered, sitting on the couch arm-rest next to Naye, close to the door in case I wanted to make another quick escape.

"Worst hostess ever!" Jessica voiced sarcastically, flipping her hair and turning her attention back to her captive audience. "Okay! Here's the next game!" She continued loudly.

"You're doing a great job, Bella" Naye whispered. "Everything has been wonderful so far."

"Thanks," I muttered again.

"Your friend is quite the spunky one, isn't she?" she continued, smiling.

"Yeah, she is," I grimaced.

"There's one in every bunch." She smiled, bouncing Clair up and down on her knee. "It keeps things lively, at least."

I smiled back.

"So how are you and Jacob?" she asked.

"Oh," I started, "We're fine." Then I added, "Really good."

Naye smiled encouragingly. "I'm glad. You two are so great together." As an afterthought, or so it seemed at the time, she added, "And I like your bracelet."

Of course Naye would know about tribal legends, too. Why hadn't I thought to ask her about it sooner? She would give me an honest answer. But before I could get a word out, I was cut off.

"Bella!" Jessica yelled. "Pay attention! Rules of the game!"

Jessica led the group through another rowdy shower game. Guests nibbled the food Emily and I had put together and conversation among guests seemed easy and smooth. Emily opened all of her presents – a good mix of toys, clothes and baby essentials.

I tried to picture how these things for the baby would look mixed in with the rustic, eclectic feel of her current place. Somehow I couldn't picture all the pack brothers surrounded by frilly blankets, rattles and stuffed animals. Quil, maybe, because I was accustomed to seeing him with Clair, but that was a weird situation in and of itself.

As the sun started to set, the guests filed out. Emily, Jessica, Angela and I stood by the open front door and said our goodbyes.

"It was so good to see you, Emily," Nikki and Tinsel said, hugging each of us in turn. "The shower was wonderful."

"We'll see you around over the coming week, I hope," Emily said to Rachel and Rebecca, who were planning to stay in town a few days before going their separate ways.

"Oh you will," they answered, smiling. "There isn't enough room for us at Billy's anymore. As soon as the girls left, the men took over." Rachel rolled her eyes. "If I go home to see one more set of weights in my room where my bed should be, I'll shoot."

Emily laughed, "Good luck with that!"

"It was nice to meet you, Bella," Rebecca offered, giving me a warm hug. "We'll have to tell Jacob we approve." I tried to smile in response.

Angela and Jessica left after the house had been restored to its former glory, each walking away with bags of leftover finger foods.

"That went, like, really well." Jessica voiced as a goodbye. "We did really good. We should be the Forks party planning committee, you know what I mean? There needs to be more good showers like this."

"I'm not so sure about that, Jess..."

"You're just on a party buzz," Angela said, patting her on the back. "Let's get you home." She rolled her eyes and smiled at me.

"Thanks for all your help, both of you," I said genuinely.

"No problem, Bella." Angela said. "I loved meeting all your friends."

Jessica had already started towards her car. "Next time we have a party with your reservation friends, though, there needs to be guys. All the hott ones out hang out with. Ooo…let's start planning that one! Even bigger than my graduation party! Music, lights, maybe we can even get a real band this time! I mean, Eric is totally great. I wonder if he'll be offended to officially being downgraded to "Plan B"…"

We tuned her out as she started listing off all the things she'd need for her next blow out event. "It's all over now!" Angela encouraged sweetly, giving me a quick hug. "You did really well. I know you don't like these kinds of things."

"Thanks again for all your help."

"We'll see you around, then? Before we all head off for college. It's not far away!"

I grimaced, remembering I'd forgotten to tell Angela my plans to vacate the whole college plan. "Yeah. I'll see you around."

As I helped Emily carry her presents to her truck out front, I could finally think about Leah again. Why had she come back? Was she roaming the forests near La Push again? I doubted Sam would vie well with having a rouge wolf in the forests with all he had going on. That was sure to be an ugly confrontation.

I needlessly combed the edge of the trees surrounded my house before I brought it up.

"Leah was here."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her forehead creasing.

"Leah. Seth had asked me to invite her…she was really banged up. I let her borrow some of my clothes and then she took off."

Emily sighed, but said nothing.

"Should we tell Sam?" I suggested.

"I'm sure he already knows. Those boys know that forest like the back of their hands, they'll know she came through."

"Do you think she'll stay?" I asked, shoving a bag of diapers into her trunk.

"You never know with Leah," she said, fingering the edge of a yellow onesie, a smile playing on the corners of her scarred mouth.

I nodded.

"Ouch," Emily gasped, grabbing at her showing belly.

"Emily?" I asked, putting my hand on her arm. She shrugged me off."

"It's fine. He just kicks hard." She tried to smile again, but couldn't pull it off. "I better head home. Our pack of grown wolves still haven't mastered the art of feeding themselves."

I studied her face. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She gave a real genuine smile this time, and hugged my neck. "Yes. Thank you so much for this, Bella! Little Joshua will have everything he needs when he gets here."

"Joshua? It's a boy?"

Her eyes shone. "I have a suspicion."

I grinned. Another boy. Just what the pack needs.

"I'll be around tomorrow," I said. "I'll bring what couldn't fit in your car over in the morning."

"See you then!" she said, climbing carefully into the driver's seat. She was showing quite a bit now. Two months to go.

I watched her pull away, absolutely exhausted by the social exertion. All I wanted to do was get out of this uncomfortable dress, shower and roll into bed. I doubted Charlie would come home anywhere before midnight. He'd want to be more than sure the house had been absolutely vacated of all things frilly and feminine.

Dragging myself up the path to the porch, the sun lowering hastily behind the trees, a subtle movement caught my attention. Out of the corner of my eye, though I couldn't be sure, I could've sworn I saw a girl in khakis shift in the shadows.


	35. Another Scare

WOW...I hadn't realized it had been SIX MONTHS since my last post…. Review if you're still reading so I'll know if this is worth it!

It's taking my writing a while to get back into my old groove. Sorry if 34 and 35 are a little rocky.

**CHP 35 – ANOTHER SCARE**

Dragging the last of the baby shower evidence from my house and shoving it into the passenger seat of my truck, I took one last sweeping look at the edge of the forest before throwing it into reverse. My truck, clearly on its last leg, bucked and jolted underneath me before submitting. As usual, the air was thick with moisture and beads of water slid down my windshield in tiny rivers.

I'd driven the road to the Uley's so many times that I put myself on autopilot, letting my mind wander. I look to my right at Emily's haul: a pack of pastel, plastic bottles; three bibs with ducks trailing across the front; a stuffed lamb; a fluffy white blanket, dotted in miniscule multicolored decorative spots. I'd never been around baby things before. Though I knew it seemed silly, I was intimidated by them. Bottles, diapers, tiny clothes… I had no idea how to take care of a baby with those.

"Hey!" someone shouted. A jogger, coming down the damp road before me, held out her arm and started for my truck. I slowed my car to a stop and rolled down the window.

Coming closer, I could tell it was Mrs. Yorkie. Had I ever spoken to her before? The town of Forks was small, but I'd done a pretty effective job of keeping to myself. Charlie, on the other hand, knew everyone by name and more. Maybe she wanted me to give him a message.

As she reached my car, sweating and cheeks flushed with physical exertion, she leaned up against the door of my car.

"Do you need Charlie for something?" I asked. "He should be down at the station today."

"Are you pregnant?" she asked bluntly. I stared.

"What?"

"Pregnant," she breathed. "I saw the balloons on your mailbox yesterday when I ran by. That loud friend of Eric's, Jessica, I believe, said something a few weeks back about a baby shower at your house."

"No." I said, appalled and slightly offended. "I'm not pregnant."

"Oh, really?" she continued incredulously. "What's all that in the passenger seat?" Rude and nosy.

"It's for a friend. On the reservation." I threw the car into drive again, speaking over the rumble as I waited for it to comply. "Goodbye, Mrs. Yorkie."

As I rolled away, I couldn't roll up my window fast enough to shield myself from her closing remarks. "You won't be able to keep the stomach of yours flat forever! We'll see it eventually!"

Unbelievable. What gall. I drove, furiously, the rest of the way to Emily's, wondering how many more small town gossips had made their own assumptions about the shower.

I scooped all of the baby stuff up in my arms, careful not to drop any of it, and stormed up to Emily's front door which remained, as always, wife open.

"You're not going to believe what just happened, Emily!" I called, sliding everything onto the counter. I had expected her to be in the kitchen, cooking for the men who never stopped eating, but she wasn't there. This house was never empty.

"Emily?" I called. I walked to the back porch and scanned the yard and trees. I kicked the cooler with my foot – it was full, and cool. Her car was out back. She'd at least been here recently. Where were the wolves?

Trying not to panic, I went back inside and called again. "Emily! I brought over the rest of the baby stuff!" No answer.

I rushed upstairs and flew into her room. Empty. The sheets were pulled back in a heap, part of them trailing onto the floor. The lights were off, save a lamp on her bedside table. I went into sheer panic mode when I saw – down at my feet – a few sparse drops of shimmering blood.

"EMILY!" I called again. No Emily, no wolves, blood… Flashes of Victoria went through my mind. Emily. Jacob. Sam. The baby.

"In here," I heard a voice moan from the bathroom. Tripping over my feet, I turned and raced down the tiny hallway and burst through the closed wooden door. Emily sat, curled up in a heap, back resting against the freezing linoleum tub. I dropped to my knees.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

She moaned again. "I don't know. I was napping, exhausted, and the sharpest pain went through me. I started bleeding... I don't know what to do."

"Where's Sam?" I asked, hopping up and going through the medicine cabinet and drawers. I grabbed a rag and doust it in cool water from the sink, laying it across her face and neck.

"On patrol. Jared was off duty but I let him leave to go to Kim's." She took a ragged breath. "I couldn't get in contact with him. Jared was our only pack connection."

I took a deep breath, ignoring the wafting smell of fresh blood. She wasn't bleeding now, I didn't think. She was dressed in a huge t-shirt, acting as a nightgown. The blood that ended up on the floor had trickled down her leg – that was drying, now. No new streams of blood that I could see. I took another deep breath to steady myself.

"We have to get Sam." I said.

"They're running stiff patrol," she moaned. "The next shift won't end til sundown." He eyes were tearing up in pain.

"We can't wait that long," I decided. "Where's the doctor?"

"I don't know," she breathed. "Get Sam, Bella. The baby…"

I couldn't march into the forest again. Not after last time. For whatever reason, it wasn't safe. It would put the whole pack in danger.

Jared. Jared was our only connection to the pack. He was at Kim's.

"What's Jared's number?" I asked, pulling my phone from my back pocket.

"The wolves don't have cell phones,'" she grimaced. "They say they don't need them." She groaned again and doubled over in agony.

"Emily, I'm going to go get Jared. I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise. Where do the Conwellers live?"

"By the bend," she whispered. "Between Jacob's and Sam's old place."

"It's gonna be okay, Emily. I promise I'll be back. Ten minutes." I assured her.

"Hurry," she whispered, eyes taut.

There were few times in my life where I had run this fast, and even fewer times where I had hated my truck. I pushed it to its absolute limit, and it protested even harder. Fifty was as fast as it would go – perfect on any other day but today. Today I needed speed. Fifty was standing in between the life of Emily, the baby and another end.

La Push didn't have street signs or stoplights. I passed Jacob's road and knew I had to be close. I had no address, and no further direction. All I knew was that if I made it to Sam's, I'd gone too far.

My truck rounded the bend, my heart racing, and a small house came into view. Once more minute and I would've reached Sam's. This had to be it.

I practically fell out of my seat in haste. "Jared!" I yelled, racing up the path to the front door. "JARED!" No answer. I banged on the front door and waited for someone to answer. I could hear noises inside – some sort of crashing and voices. Someone was home. It had to be Jared.

The door knob was loose and unlocked easily when I turned it. The reservation lacked in the realm of security and today I was thankful.

"Jared!" I called down the front hallway, stepping cautiously inside. "Kim?"

Voices carried from the furthest room down the hallway. Charlie would have a cow if he knew I'd taken to breaking and entering, but Emily was curled up on the floor alone, and I had to do something. Purposefully, I made my way further down the hallway, tripping as I slipped on a wadded up shirt discarded on the ground. I picked it up, and knew it immediately. I'd seen it on Paul, Seth and Embry before. Jared was here.

"JARED!" I called again, dropping the shirt and turning the corner to the last room on the right.

If I'd been in my right state of mind, I would've thought of the implications of his discarded shirt, instead of chalking it up to pack habit.

"Jared?" I yelled, coming upon the scene.

Kim was dressed, luckily. I couldn't say the same for Jared.

"Oh, _gah, Bella_! What the heck?" He yelled, put out, rolling over onto his back. "I'm off duty! I've got twelve hours 'til I have to go back."

"It's Emily." I stammered, remembering my mission. "She needs Sam immediately. Something's wrong with the baby."

"The baby?" he asked concernedly, sitting up.

"Emily's bleeding. I don't have time to explain. You have to get Sam!"

He huffed and pushed himself off the bed. I dropped my eyes to Kim while he walked around me. She looked thoroughly undone and seemed to be struggling with words.

"Sorry," I mumbled, embarrassed. "He'll be back."

I turned from the room. Jared was in the hallway with his shorts on, already jogging for the door. Trying not to fall, I scooped his shirt off the ground and followed him out. He was talking to himself, but I couldn't catch any of his words. I was positive more than half of them I couldn't repeat.

"Go back to the house," he shouted to me over his shoulder, falling into a full sprint towards the trees. "Five minutes!"

I got back to Emily's the same time as Sam. We met on the stairs, and I shoved my body up against the wall to let him pass. I could hear Emily crying at the top of the stairs.

"Emily!" Sam yelled. "Tell me what's wrong? Are you hurt? What's wrong with the baby?"

"I don't know," she said through her tears. "I don't know."

I looked down from the top of the stairs to see Jacob, Jared and Paul. Jacob let out a howling noise I'd heard only several times before. Sam barked back an order in Quileute I couldn't understand.

"Bella!" Sam ordered to me. "Bring some water, ice and some towels to Emily. Then follow Jacob and do whatever he says without arguing. Do you understand me?"

"Yes." Why would Jake tell me to do anything but what would help Emily? Of course I'll do what he said.

Sam pushed the sweaty strands of hair back from Emily's face, talking to her in an unbroken stream of Quileute. She nodded through her tears as her only response.

"Take Bella home," Sam said to Jacob after I had found several towels. "I'll send someone for you both."

He nodded and took me hand obediently.

"What? Why can't I stay?" I argued back to them both, surprised. "Emily-"

"Bella!" Sam ordered again, his voice deep and commanding. "Go!"

Jake pulled my hand and I followed him out to my car. Hot tears of anger and surprise burned in my eyes.

"Why can't I stay?"

Jake's face was set. "Sam just wants to be alone with Emily."

"I know that's not it," I argued, wiping my eyes on the back of my sleeve.

***JACOB POV* **

Great. What am I supposed to tell her now? Carlisle was coming in to take a look at Emily. Bella couldn't know we were in contact with the Cullens. That they were here. There's no lie that could cover up for that. I had no solid story.

"Just trust me, okay? Trust Sam. He's trying to help Emily." She was quiet the rest of the way back to Charlie's. I went around the front of her rusting truck to open the cab door for her. "We've got the rest of the day to ourselves, at least," I said quietly. She nodded and I sighed. "Let's just go inside."

We were both so worried about Emily that we couldn't exactly enjoy the rest of our day. Jared had called once, from Emily's house phone, to say they were getting things in order. Bella and I put him on speaker phone.

"How's Emily?" I questioned.

"She's in bed resting. She got some morphine and medicine that calmed her down and took the pain away."

"And the baby?" I pressed.

Over the phone, I could tell he'd tried to answer, and his voice had cut off. He coughed.

"You're on speakerphone," I said in our language. Alpha orders still stood – they couldn't mention the Cullens to Bella. I was so thankful for the gag order. Wolves can't keep secrets very well.

"Ah, gotcha," he said, then switched to Quileute. "The bloodsucking doctor says she'll be alright. He says her body is having a hard time because the baby has so much of our blood in him. He's definitely not changed, but he's hot like us. And big like us. Emily isn't adapted to the temperate or stress. Carlisle said the baby will probably come early, and it will be a tough delivery."

I could feel my face frowning, and Bella staring at me from over the phone, a curious look in her eyes.

"How's Sam?" Bella asked. Jared hesitated before answering.

"He's been better. Really stressed, to say the least. The whole pack's on edge." Only I knew the implications of the last few words. "I'll call again when...Emily's feeling up for more visitors."

"Okay," Bella answered, still frowning. I was trying to come up with lies and stories quickly, before Jared hung up, so they'd sound more authentic. I hated lying to her. But I had to be careful – the gag order hadn't been placed on me.

"See ya, Swan. Oh, by the way, next time someone needs to come get me from Kim's, send a guy. Bye Jake."

"Bye," I retorted, and pressed the red button. Bella had told me about the Jared incident this afternoon. Awkward.

"What was all that about?" she asked, crossing her arms. "What's really wrong with Emily?"

"You know as much as I do," I answered, looking her in the eye. "Jared said it's hard on Emily's body to carry a baby with so much instinctual wolf characteristics, like size and temperature. Her body isn't adapting well."

"But she'll be okay?" Bella wondered, clearly concerned. I could hear Charlie's cruiser pull into the driveway, and Bella turned towards the window to look out at him.

"We all hope so."

***BELLA POV* **

Just like last time, the prenatal trauma faded, and Emily returned to normal. The only thing we could figure is that the baby was going through a "phase". For all we knew, he could have shifted back and forth, but there was no way to be sure. We were positive he had wolf blood in him running strong – you could feel the heat radiating off of Emily's midsection. But that's about the only thing we could be sure of. The rest of it was a huge mystery.

Emily had told me the night of the shower that she suspected that the baby was a boy. She'd confided in me later that she hadn't told any of the pack members, not even Sam, of her suspicions. When we were alone, however, she referred to the baby as Joshua.

"Joshua's really active today," she said, lowering herself into a chair at the kitchen table. "It's wearing me out."

Seth and Sam were off duty. Sam was asleep on the couch and Seth was playing the gaming station. The one Paul busted had been replaced. A sticky note hung from the front end of the consol – you break it, you buy it. Paul was now short a hundred dollars.

I'd spent last night at Emily's so I could be here this morning to help with breakfast. Charlie and Sue had eaten here last night along with the entire pack and I knew Emily was going to be more than worn out with all the work.

I pulled together yet another crazily disjointed meal. Three dozen eggs (a new record for breakfast), five packs of beef jerky, two loaves of bread for toast, two watermelons, and eight bananas. I only hoped it would be enough.

Sam yawned and stretched, sitting up on the couch. They were going to have to replace it soon – there was a clear wolf-shaped crevice appearing across the middle from the constant naps of two hundred pound males. "I'm gonna call all the boys in – give them a break," he said.

"Feel free to leave Paul out in the woods," Seth voiced. "I'm really getting into this game and I don't want him to wreck it before I can finish." Sam smacked him on the back of the head as he walked by.

The familiar sounds no longer phased me – the ripping skin, the stretching bones, and howling of wolves in the rusting woods. I took my place at the table, saving a seat in between myself and Emily for Sam or Jacob, and grabbed a spoonful of eggs for myself before they disappeared.

I didn't squirm or cringe when the pack of ravenous wolves swopped down around me and food started flying. I could feel myself smiling as my chair got jostled and high-fives were exchanged inches from the end of my nose. I was even able to fend for myself when Embry tried to grab my plate for himself.

"Get your own!" I said.

"Oh, hey," he said, dropping my plate back in front of me and surveying the table. "Nice, bananas!"

"Sicko," Quil retorted.

"Shut up, idiot!" he exclaimed, punching him in the back as hard as he could. His own knuckles cracked and Quil grimaced. "Just for that, I'm eating your share." And he grabbed two.

Jake planted a kiss on my cheek as he straddled the chair next to me. "Hey, Bells. Looks good! Did you do all this?"

"Yes, she did! She's been working all morning," Emily beamed.

"I'm getting to really like you," Jared said from across the table. "Minus the incident from the other day." The conversation moved too fast for me to find time to blush.

"I liked you before you started making our breakfasts," Seth voiced from Jacob's left. "But I do like the cheese in the eggs. It's a nice touch."

"Did I hear that there's cheese in the eggs?" Paul asked, bringing up the rear and just now stepping into the kitchen. "You didn't eat them all already, did you?"

"There's plenty, Paul. Eat up," Emily said. "Come on, Quil, use a fork…"

"My pack has no manners," Sam mumbled, sitting down to my right. "I've failed as a leader."

"Since when do we need manners?" Jared called. "It's not like their any hot ladies around."

Both Jacob and Sam shifted menacingly in their seats. Emily and I exchanged looks and smiled as Jared started to backtrack. "I meant available ladies, of course..."

"Clair eats with her fingers," Quil remarked.

Paul looked at him in disgust. "Dude, she's like, two."

"She's smarter than any two year old I've ever met!" he started. "The other day-"

"NO." Jared and Embry voiced together. "I can't take anymore Clair stories. At least let me finish my meal first before I lose my appetite."

"You're just jealous that I've imprinted and you haven't."

"Dude, she's TWO." Paul said again, flinging egg off the end of his fork for unintended emphasis.

"Oh, yeah, Quil, I'm totally jealous that you're Naye's go to babysitter for the next ten years, let me tell you. I can imagine your wedding reception now. 'I'll always remember that hundreds of times I changed your diaper while I waited for you to be old enough for me to-'"

Half a watermelon ended up in his lap, followed by a stream of curses.

"Enough," Emily said, "Food's getting cold."

I absolutely adored pack life.


	36. Alice

**Ooooh, buddy…here we go…**

**CHP 36 ALICE **

Three dozen eggs proved to be less than enough, but Emily's food supply was completely wiped out, so meal time was officially over.

All the boys were in from patrol – Sam had given everyone three hours a leeway. Even Quil and Jared were too tired to jet off to Kim or Clair. Everyone was crashed sporadically all over the house. Jared was still sitting – sort of – at the cleared off table, arms folded as a pillow in front of him. His shoulders would twitch every so often, but we were pretty sure he was out. Sam was in the large chair and Embry and Quil had managed a system to get both their massive bodies on opposing ends of the couch. Paul somehow managed to convince Seth to give up the pillow he was sitting on while playing his game, and he turned the narrow space between the couch and coffee table into a bedroom. Jacob was leaning his head up against the foot of the couch, head nodding down to his chest every few seconds.

This was the quiet after the storm – breakfast being the absolute tornado-hurricane-tsunami that it always is. Emily went up to her room to rest, and I plopped down on the floor besides Jacob's sleeping body, cuddling up against his warm side. Listening to the deep, gentle breathing of seven brothers and the clicking of Seth's controller lulled me into a light sleep. I wish I could've known at that moment that that was the last calm moment I'd have for days.

A sweet, flowery scent hit my nose at the same time it hit Jacob's. There was no restoring the chaos after that.

My eyes flew open, towards the open back door, and landed on Alice's tiny figure.

"ALICE!" I screamed, but my next words were drowned in chaos.

As I screamed, Jacob lunged, grabbing her around the neck and flew – bodies crashing into one another – outside. I scrambled to my feet to follow them, but I screamed again when Paul shifted – uncontrollably – to my right. His body took up an enormous amount of space. Emily's house could barely hold him. Head thrashing back and forth, a lamp near the couch fell to the floor and shattered. Outside, Jacob was yelling. Ballistic. I'd never heard his voice louder.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME HERE! I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY!"

"I couldn't wait!" Alice's voice rang. "Victoria!"

My head and my heart flew in a hundred different directions. Why is Alice here? How did Jacob know she was here? How does she know about Victoria? Was Victoria coming here?

I took a step towards the back door, and Embry pulled me back. His face was set, his normal friendly disposition vanished. "No." he said.

"Let go, Embry!" I yelled, pulling away from him. His grip tightened.

"Victoria's army is coming. NOW!" I heard Alice yell. "I couldn't wait-"

"Let me talk to her!" I screamed frantically, fighting him. "Let me speak to her!"

"No. Come on." He started pulling me towards the front of the house. Away from Jacob. Away from Alice.

"What army? Are the rest of them here?" I yelled, still pulling as he dragged me away. "ANSWER ME!"

"PAUL!" Sam was yelling at Paul's thrashing body. "Calm down! Quit moving!"

Jared was cursing a hundred times over, ripping off his clothes as he jumped over the chair and around Paul to the backyard where Jacob and Alice were having a physical screaming match. He phased, jumping over their heads, and raced into the forest.

Paul was still uncontrollable. Sam realized he was going to have to take control by forceful order and starting unbuttoning the buttons down the front of his shirt.

Seth ran past us calling for Emily. "Emily!" he called, slinging himself up the stairs by the railing and taking them two at a time. He met her at the top of the stairs with a knowing look. "They're here."

"Who's here?" I shrieked. "Who else?"

Seth looked at me, face full of worry, and said simply, "Sorry." He, too, ran past me, captive in Embry's arms, and shifted as he left the back of the house.

Quil, dodging Sam and cussing at Paul to keep it together, threw himself across the room and into the hall closet I miraculously hadn't noticed before now, pulling out two bags that were full and looked heavy.

"EMILY!" Sam called, almost completely stripped down. Paul still couldn't get his bearings. Shifting involuntarily, it seemed, ripped your body to shreds even more than normal. The chair he'd been sitting by was ripped to pieces, and shards of glass from the broken lamp were slicing their way into the bottoms of his feet. "Go to Billy's! Wait with the council there. Don't come back here until I come and get you." He ordered. She nodded, took the smaller of the bags from Quil, who was undressing beside them, and made her way quickly for the front door.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?" I screamed, still fighting Embry's hold on me. He'd locked his arms around me in an almost-embrace, muscles flexing against my attempts at escape. Jacob's voice resonated from outside. "EMILY! SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING!"

Sam jumped over the couch, reaching inhuman speed as he grabbed Emily by the arm and turned her around, grabbing her face with both hands and planting a meaningful kiss on her lips. It was passionate and urgent. Letting her go, he said, "Be safe," before turning again shifting. Paul stumbled, and followed him into the woods.

Quil snatched the second bag from the ground and shoved it into one of my hands, folding my fingers around its worn handle. "It'll be fine, Bella. We're ready."

"TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!" I cried. He turned and I saw his body rip down its spine as he shifted into a protector.

"Shoot." Embry cussed. Arms wrapped around me, I could feel his body start to shake and shiver. His grip tightened around me, and I couldn't breathe. "Sh-"

His arms flew open, releasing me, and before I could catch my breath or regain my balance, the palms of his hands hit me, hard, between my shoulder blades. I flew across the room, skidding into the base of the couch across the room. Turning over to look behind me – I saw his terrified face and his trembling body before it morphed against his will.

His cries of pain, though filtered and changed into a new sound through his new body, pierced my ears and made me cringe. Pain, physical pain, controlled his features and he began thrashing just as Paul had done. His feet scraped at the wooden floor below him, leaving trails of splinters and carved indentions.

Jacob dove around the couch and curled his body over mine, protecting me from the Embry that had changed before me into something dangerous and deadly, effected to the core by inconsolable pain. Embry found his way, stumbling still, out the front of Emily's house and into the trees.

"Come on," said Jacob as soon as he was gone. "We have to go."

"Go where? What's happening?"

"I can't tell you now. I don't have tim-"

"TELL ME what's HAPPENING!" I bawled.

He didn't wait for my compliance, and I was silly to think for even a second that he would need to. He scooped me up off the floor and cradled me in his arms, leaning over only for a moment to grab the bag Quil had given me. They had prepared for this. They had a plan. Jacob knew the plan. Emily knew the plan. Everyone knew the plan but me.

Jacob ran as fast as he could with me in his arms down Emily's front steps. I thought we were heading for my truck, but he veered straight past it and into the trees across the road. I squirmed in his arms, hot tears stinging my eyes.

"Quit moving," he ordered in a stern voice that wasn't his own. He was in pack mode now, full on, and following orders. "Victoria's here." He said, keeping his eyes straight ahead. "She's after you. You know she's after you. She knows you'll be in Forks or La Push. You're not safe here."

"Put me down!" I ordered.

"Be quiet, Bella." I was stung by his attitude. "You squirm and I drop you. I have to carry you. It covers your scent."

"My scent?" I scoffed.

"Victoria will pick it up if it's not covered by mine. She'll pick up my trail and leave it alone. We've tested everything. We've worked it all out," he assured himself. "This plan will work."

"What army?" I asked as trees and ferns raced past me. "Who's here, Jacob?"

"Newborns." He said, glancing down at me for the first time. "Victoria made an army of vampires to help her get to you."

If Jacob hadn't been carrying me, I would have collapse. The truth knocked the wind was knocked out of me. "An army," I repeated. Jacob nodded.

"Why is Alice here? Why didn't you tell me Alice was here? You knew! You knew everything!"

"Yes," he said flatly. "I did know."

"Is-"

"No. He's not." he stated firmly. His eyes were unreadable.

We were silent. I'd never been so confused, so afraid, so hurt all at one time.

I don't know how long Jacob had run. I had no way to measure it – no clock, no sun through the thick trees, no measure of exhaustion.

"Where are we going," I asked.

"Away. North." He said, not taking his gaze off the trees before him as they whipped past us.

"I hate you," I muttered childishly. For keeping me in the dark, for not telling me, for dragging me through the forest against my will. I hated all of it.

Finally, emotion trickled through his face. Hurt, for a second, and then defiance. "No, you don't."

"Yeah, I do." I insisted, crossing my arms across my chest.

He glanced down at me again, brow furrowed. "You still wearing that bracelet?"

I looked at him in disbelief. "Yes."

"Then we're fine."

"What? Jacob, just tell me wh-"

"_No_, Bella. Stop asking questions, okay? I'll explain everything eventually. I'm _sorry_, okay? But right now you just have to let me handle this. Trust me. Please. And hush so I can listen."

For a moment, he stopped. Looking up at the sky and closing his eyes, his entire body was still. I tried not to breathe. He took a sharp right and began to sprint, if possible, faster than before. I closed my eyes and turned against his chest, shielding my face from the cold wind slapping my fair skin. I breathed through my mouth, shying away from the hint of flowery scent I could smell that lingered on his skin.

Miraculously, I managed to doze off, because the next thing I knew, Jake was shaking me awake. "Wake up, we're here." He put me down on my feet, took the bag and threw it against some rocks, dropping to his knees beside it as I took a look around. He'd run us all the way to the top of a mountain. Melting ice and slushy snow covered the pines and dirt floor. The sky was a deep grey. It was late afternoon. It wouldn't be long until dusk. Jacob was shirtless, as always, but I was freezing and starting to shiver without his body heat to keep me warm.

As I turned, a heavy jacket hit me in the face and I managed to catch it with fumbling fingers. "Put it on," he ordered, not looking at me. "It's gonna storm."

I was still angry, but I didn't object. Getting frost bite wouldn't help either one of us at this point.

A tiny tent meant for one had been crammed into the bag. Jacob went about setting it up skillfully, and I pulled my phone from my back pocket. No service. Billy was sure to tell Charlie I was with Emily. He and the council would know, I'm sure. Because everyone knew everything but me.

I found a small rock and sat down it, facing the nearby cliff. The moss wasn't much of a cushion.

"I'm gonna check on things real fast. Don't go anywhere." Yes, sir.

I heard the few footsteps he took towards the trees and heard the familiar ripping of flesh. I sighed.

"You still mad?" Jake asked, sitting down next to me. I elected not to answer. "It was for your own good, Bells. Honest." Silence. He sighed. "He never came back. He's not coming back." Again, silence.

"Will you at least listen?" I didn't answer. He took a deep breath and started talking. "Alice tried to get to you but I told her to stay away. They warned us of the army and offered to help. We were down Leah, Jared and Seth when they first told us and we were in no shape to refuse help. We've been training in the forest with them for months. Carlisle has been keeping tabs on Emily's pregnancy whenever Sam will let him near her – which hasn't been often. Sam gag ordered everyone about the Cullens except for me. I was going to tell you. I promise. If Alice hadn't barged in today like she did… I'm sorry, Bella. Really. And I know I'm rambling now. We just wanted to keep you safe and keep you away from the fight. We're far away now – almost out of range for me to see what's going on. We pushed it to the very edge so that you'd be as safe as possible. Emily agreed not to say anything, but she wanted us to tell you. Don't be mad at her. Everyone is acting on orders – Sam and my own. If you're gonna be mad, only be mad at me, I'll take the fall. I thought this would be best. I really honestly thought so, Bella."

I still didn't answer. Jake rubbed his hands together, ran them through his shorn hair, over his neck and back together again. He looked at me, took a deep breath and picked himself up off the earthen floor. "There are some clothes in the bag, some water, food and a toothbrush. It's all in the stupid tent." And he walked away.

I sat there for a long time, thinking and shivering. What would I have done if I had know the Cullens were back? Marched into the forest and greeted them with hugs? He wasn't even coming back. He hadn't been back in over a year. Am I still so broken that he felt he had to hide all this from me? Even if he thought it was in my best interest. Was he afraid I'd still choose the other option, if Edward were here?

The sun was setting. I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see Jacob, and couldn't find him. I picked myself up and brushed the dirt off my jeans and strode towards the small tent.

"Jacob?" I called.

"Over here," he called back. I looked to my left to see him sitting just within the trees with his back towards me, his head in his hands. "So much is going on," he said when I came within earshot. "It hurts to stay phased for long – it give me a headache. Sam's giving orders I'm not close enough to follow, using the pack plural. My body and my mind want to do too different things." He grimaced. "Let me check back real fast."

He stood up and took a few steps away from me and looked back. "Can you handle this?" he asked warily. I nodded.

He turned where he was – maybe three yards from me – and stared me straight in the eye while he phased. Almost in slow motion his whole body came apart, the seams ripped, his flesh multiplied itself and tripled in size and mass. The gentle face I knew became the face of a beast Id come to recognize. I shivered, only partly from the chilly air.

I'd never been this close to Jake before in this state. I reached out to touch him, and he took a step back and whined, closing his eyes. The muscles of his body were tensing and flexing in the rhythm of running and I knew he was fighting his instincts to follow orders that weren't relevant to where he was. It was hard for him not to be fighting alongside his brothers.

Wolf-Jake huffed, his hot breath forming a cloud of vapor in the air, before becoming still and shrinking back into the Jake I knew and loved.

"Leah's back," he said, standing before me, stunned.

"Leah?" I said, stepping forward. "But-"

"She rejoined the pack," he said, his eyes seeing something I couldn't as he looked past me into the trees beyond. "She's under Sam's orders again, fighting alongside us."

"That's good, right?" I asked. He looked worried.

"It's one more for our side," he said, "But she hasn't been training with us. She won't know how to fight, what to look out for. She's in a lot of danger."

"Leah can handle herself," I assured him.

***JACOB POV***

I nodded. She's gonna have to, I thought. There's no way we can babysit her and fight at the same time. I stopped myself. Pack plural didn't apply right now. Stay focused. My job is here. Protect Bella and keep her away from the fight. My brothers are skilled enough to handle it.

I shifted back again to watch the fight.

Sam was barking orders left and right, watching everyone, doing everything he could to guide each pack member individually. Easier said than done…_ Seth, watch on your right. Paul, NO, that's Rosalie. Yes, I'm positive. Sh- Leah, be more careful. If they get their arms around you they'll kill you._

I could hear Quil talking to Embry. They'd been brothers so long – even before the pack – that their tag team ability was unmatched. Quil up the middle, Embry on the right. Strike. SCORE. One down. The muscles in my shoulders and legs flexed as I watched through the eyes of my brothers.

Interspersed among the wolves were the Cullens. I could see flashes of them through Sam's eyes. Emmett tossing a newborn against a tree. Jasper pulling off heads of red-eyed vampires. Alice, twirling around like a deathly ballerina, ready to kill. Even Esme, the gentlest, getting into the action. Reluctantly I admitted we were lucky to have them. No sign of Victoria as of yet. No doubt she was waiting for her army to twindle our numbers before making an appearance. She wouldn't have imagined our forces: seven fighting wolves and six fighting vampires. Surely we'd be unbeatable.

One of the newborns got a good hold on Jared's neck and I flinched. _Be careful, man. This is serious._ But I was too far away for them to hear my thoughts clearly. Gah, this was so painful. I should be there.

I shifted out, unable to take sitting on the sidelines effectively. It made me anxious and uptight.

I had no realistic way to gauge how cold it was outside. Even standing here naked, it could be snowing and I wouldn't notice. Bella on the other hand, was shivering even in the coat I'd given her. The sun was starting to set behind the trees. It was hard work shifting back and forth – harder, I would argue, than fighting an army of vampires. Marginally less fun, without a doubt. I was exhausted.

"Why don't we just go to sleep," I suggested, stepping back into my shorts and taking a step towards Bella.

She nodded, and we made our way back out of the trees.

Guess what chapter is next! :D


	37. Tent

Eeeek. I've never been nervous to post a chapter before. I've been waiting to do this scene for **so long**. It was harder to write than I thought because I wanted it to be perfect, but in the end I had to just write it for myself. I _hope_ it lives up to your expectations! :) It's T…and I don't do more than T…but feel free to take what I have and run with it on your own.

_ON WITH THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED :) Thanks for the continued support – from my old followers who waited for 6 months for me to find my muse again and for my new ones who jumped right in and loved it and will follow this to the very end_. Love you!

**CHP 37- TENT**

***JACOB POV***

I had _not_ seen this storm coming. The sides of the tent shook with the icy wind and the snow fell in rapid sheets. How could it be _this _cold at the end of the summer? How is this _possible?_ The low was supposed to be fifty. It must be the altitude. I knew I'd taken us high, but I didn't realize I'd hiked us up _this_ high. I was fine, of course. I could chalk this up as a gentle breeze. Bella, on the other hand, was not.

"J-J-J-J-Jacob," she stuttered. "It's c-c-c-cold in here." Her body shivered and trembled all over, her eyes shut tight in a futile effort to shield herself from the elements. It hurt me to watch her shudder from the cold.

Whenever we spent the night together, I always tried to keep my distance. I didn't want to push my luck or make her resent me for any reason. I'd always been so careful. And even in this tiny tent in the middle of nowhere, with hundreds of miles of privacy on all sides of us, I'd given her as much of her side of the tent as I could. But now she was freezing and unable to sleep. And I had no idea what to do.

She was wearing all the clothes that had been pre packed – mine and hers – and was huddled in a tiny sleeping bag. Quil obviously hadn't packed for this sort of storm and failed to take into account that Bella's body runs a solid ten degrees less than mine on any given day.

"It'll warm up," I offered pathetically. "The sun will come out soon." That was a lie. It was only midnight. The temperatures would drop even lower before the sun came back up. In six hours.

"I c-c-c-c," she started, but her uncontrollable shivers cut her off.

I couldn't lie here and watch her shiver in her pathetic sleeping bag anymore.

"Scoot over, Bella," I said, sliding over towards her across the tent floor.

'What're you d-d-d-doing?" she protested, eyed wide.

"Keeping you from dying." I ripped the zipper of her sleeping bag open down to her toes. "Now scoot over."

***BELLA POV***

I opened my mouth to protest, but as soon as I felt Jake's warmth up against my freezing body, I fell silent. He slid his body in with mine in one fluid motion – quite a feat considering the limited space of the sleeping bag. My mind was numb with the cold – as well as my body – but I couldn't feel or think of anything in this moment that wasn't Jacob.

I heard the sound of the metal zipper being pulled back up and felt the sleeping bag pulling our bodies closer together, cradling us in its soft walls.

"This ought to keep you warm," he said against the top of my head. "Here-"

He shifted so he could wrap his arm around me, his hand finding my waist and pulling me even tighter against his body. His other arm stretched out behind my head as a pillow, my head cradled in the bend of his shoulder. I turned my head and pressed my frozen lips against his skin. It felt as if they were melting.

At the bottom of the sleeping bag, I kicked off my shoes and shoved my feet between his legs. Taking off my mittens, I pushed my hands in between our bodies, crushing them between our stomachs. He jumped.

"Gah, Bella, your hands are like ice."

"S-sorry," I mumbled against his skin. I didn't care. All I cared about was his warmth, his heat, finally thawing my skin after hours of shivering with no sign of relief.

"I could've warmed you up sooner," he said after a minute.

"I wish you w-w-would have," I said, forming my first full sentence, my lips and mind finally beginning to defrost. He chuckled, the heat of his breath tickling my ear.

He shifted again, pulling me even tighter against him. I couldn't breathe.

"You know," he mumbled, "You'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off."

"Hush," I spoke into the bend of his shoulder, but I was smiling and I was sure he could hear it in my voice. I was so relieved to be warming up I couldn't muster up the strength to be mad.

"Just saying. Survival 101." I felt him shrug against me.

Having tasted the feeling of warmth again, I was eager for more. My mind was still numbed by the low temperatures and I knew I wasn't thinking things through. I slid my hands up from between our stomachs and started to unzip the coat I was wearing.

"What're you doing?" Jacob asked.

"Getting warm." I answered. It was a struggle to get it off with Jake's massive frame taking up so much room, but doable. I slid out of the sleeves and tossed it to the other side of the tent.

I still had too many layers. Some of them had to go.

I slipped out of the thin jacket I had on and the sweater underneath in turn, leaving my white tank top underneath. I was wearing two pairs of pants – mine and Jacob's extra pair – and I pulled those off as well. All I was left with a white tank top and underwear. It was dark and I was hidden in the sleeping bag; Jacob couldn't see me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, my icy hands pressed against his bare back. My face I buried in the bend of his neck, my legs I intertwined with his. The warmth of his body enveloped every part of me. I finally started to thaw.

With all my movement I hadn't noticed that Jake had all but turned to stone. He wasn't moving and he was barely breathing.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Yeah." He answered. I couldn't read his voice.

"Are you okay?" I reburied my face in his shoulder again, my lips parting so every inch of skin could feel his warmth.

"Yeah." He answered again. I could've sworn he was shivering. Was he cold now? I wouldn't have been surprised – he had only been wearing cutoff sweats. But wolves never got cold. I pushed it from my mind.

We laid like that for a while, my body curled up against his, listening to the wind whistling and rocking the tent walls around us. The piney, minty scent of Jacob's skin filled the sleeping bag and tent.

"Bella?"

"Yeah," I murmured against his skin.

Jake's free hand, previously hooked around my waist, began moving, sliding up the edge of my body, over my rib cage and up my arm, leaving a trail of fire beneath his fingers. When I shivered, it wasn't from the cold. Slowly, tenderly, his steady fingers curled around my neck, his thumb resting on the side of my face.

He shifted, the arm resting behind my head bending so that he rested elevated on his elbow. Lowering his face down, he raised mine to meet his.

His lips parted against mine with gentle pressure. Testing the waters, feeling my reaction, his tongue ran lightly over the heated skin of my bottom lip. I gasped, clutching at his body, moving myself closer to him, eagerly receiving his advance. Our lips moved together in a steady rhythm, our quickening pants filling each other's mouths. His accelerated heartbeat resonated against me and I could hear the rush of adrenalized blood in my ears.

I'd been kissed before, but not like this. This surpassed innocence and naivety. The raw edges of youth and immaturity were crossed and blended into a whole new world I hadn't experienced before. I didn't have to be careful with Jacob, and he certainly wasn't being careful with me.

Jake's hands moved from my face and ripped off the hat I was wearing, slinging it across the tent. His fingers dug themselves into my hair, pulling me hard against his mouth, his tongue passing my lips and playing with my own. My mouth and body were ablaze.

His hands, never still, never satisfied, moved again, our lips never parting. Another trail of fire formed as he slid his calloused hand down to my hips, lingering on the thin cotton there before moving lower to my leg. Wrapping his hands around the bend of my knee, he unwound my legs from his and hooked my leg over his hip. Rolling to his back, he took me with him, stopping when I lay completely on top of him. His body was hard beneath me, his chest rising and falling with his heavy, heated breaths.

My hair fell around his face as his lips moved lower, tracing their way down my neck and shoulders. My own fingers, for want of more, twisted themselves in his hair. I buried my nose in his black tresses, drinking in the heady aroma. He was all mine._ This_ was mine.

Coming up for air, leaving me breathless, his mouth found mine again. All reservations were gone, all previous stipulations forgotten. There was no hesitation now, no walls to climb, no barriers to break. Just us together. Just Jacob.

Jake's hands found my hips and positioned me lower on his body to straddle his waist, groaning as our bodies rocked against each others.

Rolling again, Jake slid me underneath him, resting on his elbows on either side of me so that I felt all of his heat but none of his weight. I couldn't escape, and I wouldn't want to.

"Bella," he breathed roughly against my neck, his voice husky with excitement and exertion. Vague memories of being cold were lost in the distant past.

One arm holding his weight, his muscles flexing with his power, a free hand slipped down my side once again. Slowly, his fingers traced the skin just above my underwear, his finger dipping down under my hip bone for only a second, and his hand pushed my tank top up to expose my stomach. His kissed my lips again and pulled back, looking into my eyes.

"This okay?" he asked huskily. I nodded, not sure of what he was doing.

He shimmed down so his mouth was at my stomach. I watched his shoulders and back muscles flex with his movement. I gasped and squirmed and arched beneath him as his tongue traced the curves of my waist and accents of my ribs. His teeth rubbed against my skin and my nerves awaked, goose bumps travelling up and down my spine. He laughed deep in his throat.

"You warm yet?" he mumbled against me, coming back up to my face.

"Yes," I answered, breathless, sure of the blush in my cheeks and thankful it was dark.

"I should probably stop." He said quietly.

"No..." I protested, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders and pulling his face down to mine.

***JACOB POV***

Oh gah.

Ohhh man.

I tried to clear my thoughts, but I couldn't. Bella was kissing me. Isabella Swan. _My_ Bella. How many times had I dreamt of this? Being alone, her being half dressed…or less…beneath me. She was so soft, and smooth, and so _warm_, even to me. She was perfect. I let my hands wander, feeling and caressing as they pleased, only keeping one place off limits for myself. But I had to stop now. I'd been so good for so long that it hurt. Gah, she was making this so hard.

"Bella," I protested back against her lips, pulling my face away from her. "We can't…"

"Why not?" she asked, winded.

Yeah, Jake, why not? What kind of guy are you? You're alone in the middle of the forest. Both half dressed. With six hours of free time. Are you kidding yourself? Where did this self-control come from? And _why?_

"I just…"

"You make me feel like I'm trying to steal your virtue or something," she said against me, her body relaxing and melting, soft and balmy, below me.

I laughed humorlessly. "No, Bella, that's not it _at all_. I'd be more than happy to…_oblige_ you." I ran my tongue along her collar bone, kissing up to her ear, emphasizing my point. "But some other time. I think I'd get a lot of flak from the pack if they saw all of this the next time I phased… especially when they're all out there risking their necks for you. For us, I mean." I kissed her again. She sighed, obviously tired. I took secret pride in the fact that I'd worn her out so efficiently.

I wanted to be good for her, too. We'd worked hard to build up what we had. I didn't want to blow it here in a sleeping bag in the middle of the forest, but I was going to regret having stopped us in the morning.

***BELLA POV***

Jake kissed the side of my cheek and rolled me again, effortlessly, so we both lie together on our sides, intertwined and facing one another.

"Now what," I asked, catching my breath and tracing shapes across his pecks. I was hot now, almost breaking a sweat. The cold air couldn't reach me here, curled up against Jacob, enfolded securely in his arms.

"Mmm," he voiced, kissing me lightly on the forehead, tracing shapes in turn on the small of my back. "Anything you want to talk about?"

I thought for a moment, letting the seductive images that had pooled in my mind dissolve. Think of something to talk about.

"You could tell me about this bracelet, finally," I proposed, bringing my hand up from the depths of the sleeping back and fingering the thin bracelet on my wrist before his eyes.

His brow furrowed. "Not yet," he said. I frowned, trying to read him. His eyes stayed focused on the bracelet.

"What're you waiting for?" I asked, annoyed.

"I promise, Bella, I will tell you." Jake pulled me closer to him. "Just not yet."

"Fine." I surrendered. I thought for another moment, snuggling against him. I couldn't get close enough. "I'm still angry you didn't tell me about everything."

He laughed heartily, his voice sarcastic. "You didn't seem angry a few seconds ago…" I felt his hand slap my backside. I slapped his chest in return, knowing it wouldn't do any good.

"Well I am," I retorted, trying to sound it.

He became serious. "Please, don't be. I promise I had the best intentions."

"I believe you." I just didn't know if I agreed with them.

"Can I make it up to you?" he proposed, nuzzling my neck.

"Well…"

"_Bella,"_ he growled, moving my hand back up out of the sleeping bag. "Seriously."

"Then no." I resigned.

He exhaled noisily, his voice showing the slightest hint of a tremor. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Later. Just not now."

"Fine," I said again. Later.

"I have a question," he said after a while. I looked up at him.

"What?"

"So…you said he could never read your mind, right? He could read everyone but yours?"

I stiffened. "Yes."

"Why? If you don't mind me asking." He seemed nervous, bringing _him_ up at a time like this. I wondered why he cared. I closed my eyes, putting all my answers on autopilot.

"He said my mind was different than everyone else's. I was immune to it." I grimaced, remembering his first explanation. "Like everyone's brains were on FM radio, and mine was on AM."

"Oh," he said, almost cheerily. I tried not to think too much about it. "So you're immune to monster powers."

"I guess, Jake."

"Okay," he replied, sensing I was done with the conversation. I closed my eyes again, inhaling deeply, letting his scent wash my mind clean of memories.

"I love you," he said in the husky voice that made my heart race.

"I love you, too." I couldn't explain how much.

We lay in silence for a while, content despite our minor arguments. I dozed, sleepy from everything that had happened, from Emily's all the way until now. When I opened my eyes again, I listened for sounds outside over the heavy breathing next to me. The wind had calmed down; there was no way to know how much time had passed. I shifted, sweating in the sauna of Jake's body, and it jostled him enough to wake him up.

"I should probably check on things again," he said, groggy, rubbing his eyes. "Look and see how everything is coming along."

"Are you worried?" I asked, not able to read his voice.

"Not worried. Just ready for it to be done. It's hard not being there." He stroked my spine. "Not that I don't love being _here."_

"I know," I nodded. He'd proved that. I shimmed away from him, making room for him to get out.

"Wait…" he said, tightening his grip on me. I looked up, curious. Hesitating, he stared into my eyes before continuing. "Are you…okay?"

I was confused. "Okay? I'm fine, Jake."

"No," He said, struggling for words. "I mean, are you…are you all mine now? Completely?"

Oh. "Yes," I answered, as confidently as I could. Had this not proved it?

Jake smiled weakly. "Okay. Just checking. I'll be right back." He shimmed out of the sleeping bag, unzipping the tent entrance as little as he could to keep the cold out. I buried myself down in the sleeping bag, content, shutting my eyes and waiting for the sound of his second body ripping out of its shell.

* * *

**REVIEW! Im really nervous - hoped you liked it!**


	38. Sun vs Diamond

I've had this chapter title chosen since the very, very beginning a year ago when I started this. We're finally getting to the critical business. EXCITED! Hope you love.

**CHP 38 – SUN VS DIAMOND**

***JACOB POV***

I barely noticed the familiar thrill and adrenaline of my body morphing and tripling in size. My brain was completely clouded by the night's events. But I had to focus now. Time to work. I shook my head back and forth, clearing it, tuning in to what was happening hundreds of miles away.

Walking into the woods to be alone, I closed my eyes, pulling myself deeper into my instincts, blocking out everything around me.

The majority of the fight had passed. They'd taken down all but a few stragglers early on. The few remaining who had been trained well had put up a fight – but nothing all of us couldn't handle. No injuries on our side. What had happened to Victoria? I pulled myself deeper down, straining to hear my brothers speak.

_She figured out she couldn't get past us. Counted her numbers, compared them to ours. She might've bolted. _Paul reasoned, running north, searching the trees.

_No,_ Embry retorted. _There's no way she'd walk away. Not after all this._

_Quiet, _Sam ordered_. Let me focus. Paul and Jared, sweep the trees. Check Jacob's trail and make sure it's clear. Check Emily's too. _

The Alpha stood in a clearing with part of the pack: Leah, Seth, Quil… along with the Cullen clan. I flinched and felt the pack recoil when a piercing scream sliced through the silence.

"Jasper," I heard Carlisle say through Sam's ears. "Calm her down."

What? I quickly scanned the pack's thoughts. One of the newborns had surrendered. Bree. They were going to spare her. Sam wasn't happy. One more added to the clan.

Seth phased out and I lost his thoughts until he started speaking. "We lost track of Victoria. My brothers are scanning the forest for her now."

"Good." Carlisle replied, hands clasped together in front of him. "Her friend didn't manage such a lucky escape."

"Yeah, we took that bloodsucker down hard. He didn't even see it coming!" Emmett boasted, his arm tossed over the blonde's shoulder. Did he really fight wearing a sweater?

I shook my head again. Focus, Jake. Come on.

_Emily's trail is good. Billy's place has been steered clear of. No trails within fifty miles_, Jared reported. I felt myself nod. Solid news. But Victoria hadn't been killed yet. That was, admittedly, a little unnerving. If she came here, I couldn't very well fight her off and protect Bella at the same time. The plan had been to cut her off at the pass…

_Paul, report,_ Sam ordered.

_I'm running Jake's trail,_ he said. _Something isn't right here_.

What?

_I'm picking something up. It's fresh. Carefully calculated. Coming from the East, then heading north along their trail. Something…oh sh-_

I stumbled backwards when the signature flowery scent began to burn my nose, making my eyes water – a reflex reaction to the trail he was picking up. _Come on, Paul, _I thought_. Fight it off! Focus! What's there_? _Who's there?_ I hoped I was close enough for him to hear me.

Paul kept on it, following it a few more miles before slowing. _Vampire, _he spat_. The scent's familiar. Picked up the trail. Definitely following it. And its brand new._

I let out a stream of cuss words. Victoria.

"No, not Victoria," a familiar, hated voice rang through the air.

_Edward. _

And I didn't have time to think.

I lunged. Shear hatred boiled up inside of me. Months and weeks of rage and fury coursed through my veins. Everything was a blur. I could hear the pack screaming in my mind. Could they see Edward was back? Or was something else happening?

Ice and fire. Stone and flesh. A furious mix of loathing between mortal enemies and, even more so, competing lovers. Blow for blow.

The trees around us shook and trembled with the force of our brawl. Limbs cracked and stones rolls. I couldn't see past the burning in my eyes and the searing in my throat from his sickening scent. It pushed my rage beyond my control. If I could morph into something _more_ than the monster I already was, I would have.

He threw me off of him and my back hit a tree, my limbs stretching and cracking with the blow. I bounced back, adrenaline flowing, fiery eyes facing his cold, black ones.

"I don't want to kill you, Jacob." He said. "I don't want to fight you."

He looked, physically, the same as he always had. Seventeen. Pale. Glistening white like diamonds. His clothes were ripped and worn and dirty – like he hadn't changed since he'd disappeared. I stepped forward for another blow.

"Jacob-" He started, palms raised in surrender.

I left out another stream of curse words, digging my palms into the moist dirt. _"LEAVE," _I ordered in my mind.

"I can't."

I cursed again. "_Bull. You left before. Leave again. What're you trying to do?"_

"I just want to talk to her."

"_You completely destroyed her. She doesn't want you."_ Could hurt have just flickered across his face? I doubted it.

"Let me speak to her."

"_No."_

***BELLA POV***

I was fine with Jacob taking a long time outside. Maybe he just needed some fresh air. I closed my eyes and listened to the gentle breeze rattle the thin sides of the tents and the familiar sounds of forest birds calling. It wasn't until I started to hear deeper noises –distant growling and thumping- that I got worried. I wrapped up in a blanket, unzipped the tent door, and walked outside. He wasn't around our immediate tent area, so I scanned the trees around us. Not seeing him, I picked my way carefully towards the edge of the trees, careful not to step on rocks or twigs with my bare feet. He'd probably yell at me for wandering by myself – but in all fairness I was looking for him.

I don't know if I would've seen Jacob – he blended so well into the woods around him – if it hadn't been for the gleaming rock underneath him.

My heart stopped. Victoria.

The next thing I knew, I was sprinting towards them, screaming.

"_JACOB!" _

All I could see was a mix of white and brown, copper and black. The trees blurring as I sprinted past them towards the fight, tripping over the blanket and tossing it aside as I ran. Sam had to be on his way. Sam, Seth, Embry, Quil, Paul, Jared, Leah, _anyone._ Victoria was _here_. And it was one on one.

"_JACOB!_ _NO!"_ I screamed again. But they kept fighting. I slid to a halt, pulling at my hair and bending at the waist, all my energy devoted to my cries. I couldn't watch Jacob die. I couldn't. Not unless I could die too.

What could I do? How could I distract her? Jacob's growls and the snapping of trees clouded my thoughts. Blood. She'd be distracted by blood.

I dropped to my knees and frantically clawed through the earth. Something sharp, something sharp…

A rock, chipped at the edges. Sharp enough to do some damage if I tried hard enough. And I was going to try. I had to help Jake. He couldn't do this on his own.

I wrapped my shaking fingers around the cold stone. I stayed on the ground, knowing id fall again if I saw my own blood. I closed my eyes, holding the tip of my makeshift dagger to the bend in my arm. This would be easy. One fluid motion.

"_Ah_," I gasped, dropping the blade. A steady stream of blood trickled down my arm, making dark rivers across my fingers and pooling on the ground.

"Bella!" Jake yelled. I looked up from my bleeding arm, the world smudging around the edges, to see him running towards me. He fell on the ground in human form in front of me, face close to mine. "Are you okay? What happened- who –"

"Jake!" I screamed, looking over his shoulder. No one was there. "Victoria! She's here – I was trying to –"

He cursed. "It's not Victoria. We have to get you out of here." He ripped off the bottom hem of my tank top and tied it around my bleeding arm. "What were you thinking, Bella?" I could tell he was angry.

"What do you mean it's not Victoria? I saw-"

"Come on," he cut me off. "Let's go." He started to lift me off the ground.

"Bella." A familiar voice sounded.

Spinning around, I tried to locate the source of the voice. A voice that had haunted my dreams for months, made my heart ache, made my head pound, sucked the life out of me, tore me to pieces for so long. Jake was right, it wasn't Victoria that was here.

"_Come on,"_ Jake grunted in my ear, gripping my arm and pulling me back towards the tent.

"Wait," I protested, ever so quietly. But as soon as Jake heard my voice – heard what I wanted – he dropped my arm. I didn't look up at his face. I didn't want to see what my last word had done to him.

I scanned the woods, looking for him. I knew he was there. He was just here. The copper hair – the blur of white – it had been him. Not Victoria.

"Edward," I whispered, so quietly I could barely hear myself.

He stepped out from the trees – into the dazzling sunlight – and looked just as I always dreamed he would. His marble skin threw a thousand rainbows in my direction. His bronze hair caught the sun and made it shimmer. His eyes were dark and dangerous, his face flawless. He was alive.

His eyes flashed across my body- and I knew what he must be seeing. And thinking. Me- barely dressed and bleeding on a mountain alone with Jacob. So many scenarios could be formed. There's no way he could assume the right one. Hurt flashed across his flawless face. My mind was a haze, an empty wasteland, but I felt when Jacob took my discarded blanket and draped it over my shoulders.

"Bella," he said, reaching his hand out towards me. I could feel Jacob shivering beside me. His voice – Edward's voice – were like tiny, chiming bells in my ears. A beautiful sound.

"I'm so sorry," he began. "I'm so sorry for leaving you."

I didn't answer.

"Please, Bella…" he pleaded.

Jacob was letting him talk. I felt his hand move towards me – but he dropped it down to his side again. He was going to let me choose. My heart ached.

"You…you left me." I choked out. The shock of his initial return was wearing off. I was remembering now. How he left me alone in the woods. How he told me I couldn't go with him, and that I wasn't good enough for me. He didn't want me anymore.

"I had to. It wasn't safe for you. But I can't live without you, Bella. I had to come back and get you. I…I still love you, Bella. You're my only reason for living." His eyes were sad.

"I don't understand." How could he have left me, if he loved me?

"I've been all over the world, trying to find somewhere I could be happy, but I couldn't find it. I'm only happy with you, Bella. I've waited a century to find happiness and I walked away from it, but I want you back. I don't want to have to live eternity without you." Edward said quietly, taking a step toward me. "Please, Bella."

I couldn't look at Jacob, but I knew he was still there. I couldn't hear his breaths anymore – had he stopped breathing?

"Bella," Edward said again, his hand reaching ever towards me. "Will you marry me?"

Jake twitched beside me. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't. I didn't want to see the pain in his face, or the doubt. I wasn't strong enough.

I could get my legs to move. My ears were still ringing from the sound of his voice. He was alive. And _beautiful._ But Jacob was more alive. And somehow now more beautiful than Edward could ever be. And Jacob loved me. _Always._ Never left me. Always here. Always, always, always.

Charlie's words echoed in my ears – what he'd told me in the middle of the night after one of my many nightmares. "Sometimes, you have to learn to love what's good for you." Remember what's best for you. Love what's good for you. I hadn't worked myself out of this black hole for nothing.

They both knew it was my choice. Edward. Jacob. They both stayed silent – watching me – resisting the urge to kill one another. It was my choice. And I had to choose.

All those months of my life I'd wasted waiting and hoping. All those nights I'd spent crying and screaming and torturing myself. Edward Cullen was finally here – he'd come back for me, he wanted me now. Everything would go back to normal. A million nights spent by his sleepless side. A thousand runs through the forest. A hundred looks at his shimmering skin. An immortal life filled with his golden eyes. This was everything I'd always dreamed of– and I didn't want it. I wanted Jacob. _My_ Jacob.

I stepped backwards, my hand reaching for Jacob's. I relaxed and felt his deep sigh when his warm fingers wrapped around my own, the blood from my arm making rivers over our interlocking fingers.

I watched as Edward's hand dropped; I saw as his face turned to stone. I blinked, and he was gone.

* * *

Jacob dropped to the ground before me, and it was then I realized I had sunk to the ground as well. It was then that I noticed the scratched littering his body – evidence of the brawl and fight.

"Did you make the right choice?" he asked, his face emotionless, save for a hint of worry.

I nodded, tears weling up in my eyes. I had made the right choice. I reached up and ran my hand across his face. Jacob was real. Jacob was warm. I'd chosen life instead of death. I'd chosen real love.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

I nodded again. "Yes."

Jake's firm arms wrapped around my body and he pulled me into his lap. It was a strange scene. Both of us wrapped in each other, alone on the side of a mountain. The tears in my eyes spilled over and ran down his chest and fingers. We were both covered in our blood, his sweat, my tears. We were an absolute mess, but we were together, and I felt whole.


	39. Births and Bracelets

I'm digging the in depth reviews and I always take into account what is said! Y'all are always saying "I hope this happens!" and "I hope that happens!" and I'm always like "Hush you're ruining the surprise!" because I have this thing planned out in detail to the very end :P

**JB 39 BIRTHS AND BRACELETS **

***JACOB POV* **

Victoria had been killed. Yeah, I was shocked when they told me. Because it hadn't been by one of us. It had been by _him_. I figured it was a last ditch effort to win Bella back, but it hadn't worked. The guy was a nut job. That's all I could figure. I was thankful – bitterly thankful, maybe – but I mustered up some thanks nonetheless. We were rid of Victoria. Edward was gone. He had no reason to come back now. Bella had chosen me –even with Edward standing there, staring her in the face- and I still smiled when I thought of that. That was a week ago. Things could go back to normal now.

Well, as normal as ever. If you counted being in the hospital with a pack of werewolves normal.

"Don't brush up against any doctors," Sam had ordered. "If they feel your fever, they'll think you're about to die and throw you on a stretcher."

"Are you sure they won't just chalk it up to our incredible hotness?" Jared had prodded.

"Shut up," Leah chimed back. Yup, Leah was back and in full force. On her good days she was less obnoxious than she had been. But still obnoxious. I couldn't say I was 100% thrilled to have her back, but we were family, so we all dealt with it.

Emily had gone into labor early this morning and we'd all piled into the tiny Forks hospital. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was the largest crowd they'd ever seen. With Victoria gone, we had only been running one or two person eight hour patrols. Easy stuff compared to what we had been doing. Especially since there were so many of us. I only rotated in once every three days.

The Cullens were gone. I'd talked to Carlisle – Alice could see that Edward had come back, but couldn't see what had happened because I had been there, blocking her vision. I told them he'd left, and he wasn't coming back again. Sam had discussed the treaty again with Carlisle, and they agreed to leave because of Bree. Having an untrained, unvegetarian vampire so close to the reservation was a risk no one was willing to take. They moved to Alaska, sending word to Edward to join them there. I doubted he ever would.

After the shock of everything, Bella had finally assembled enough energy to be _beyond_ livid at me for keeping everything from her. She was mad at the rest of the pack, too, but most of her anger was directed at me. She'd insisted on driving herself to the hospital and sitting across the waiting room from me. It was immature, maybe, and a little senseless if you ask me, but I figured she'd get over it eventually. It had been for her own good in the long run.

Sam was going nuts. Having eight (and a half) wolves in a non-reservation hospital put him on edge, especially with half of them hitting on the nurses in the waiting room. Along with that, Emily was in labor and had been for hours. I'm not sure which one rattled him more.

To get around the whole birthing-a-wolf-in-a-real-hospital thing, Emily had insisted on bringing her own midwife – the reservation doctor. She'd do her best to handle the baby – because we expected it would be showing some wolf symptoms like fever. Sam knew being here was a huge risk, but in the end it weighed in Emily's benefit and the baby's safety. Worse comes to worse…well, we didn't really have a plan of action.

Bella had never been this peeved at me before. In the beginning when I'd kept my transformation from her had been hard, but I don't think she'd been this mad. I took comfort in the fact, though, that she'd still chosen me. Even if she'd been angry. And she was still wearing the bracelet Emily had given her, and the bracelet I'd given her at graduation. She'd get over everything soon.

The doctors had called Sam in about thirty minutes ago. Most of the pack had sprawled out across the waiting room – creating make-shift beds by lining up chairs. Jared laid on the floor, which Leah objected to because hospitals are unsanitary, but wolves are pretty much immune to colds and viruses, so he ignored her.

"Just because we let you back in doesn't mean you can be a pain." He said, head resting on his arms like a pillow. Bella and Seth glanced at each other and smiled. I knew Bella was happy for Seth that his prodigal sister has returned. She saw me catch her smile and shoved her face back down into her book.

"It's a boy!" Sam yelled, busting through the waiting room doors in scrubs that were way too small for his huge frame, almost tearing the door off its hinges. The pack burst into applause, hoots and hollers. Embry and Quil exchanged a twenty.

"Excellent!" Embry exclaimed.

"What's his name?" Paul asked.

"Joshua Samuel Uley." Sam said proudly, rubbing the back of his neck. "They won't let you all come back yet, but they will soon. Someone call Seth in from patrol and give him the news."

"Got it," Embry Call responded, hopping up. "I need to stretch out anyway. Haven't changed in two days."

"Good thinking," Sam said, clapping him on the back as he passed. "Everyone keep tabs on that," he said to the rest of us.

***BELLA POV***

Tabs? I had no idea what that meant – but I was getting pretty well accustomed with ignoring all the wolf banter. I could pick up a few things – I had the forty-eight hour patrol chart ingrained in my brain – and I figured I'd learn the rest of the ropes as time went on.

"Bella," Sam whispered, leaning down next to me. He looked tired, but elated. "Emily's asking for you." I put down my book on the side table – I'd already read it a hundred times – and let myself into Emily's room. The curtains were pulled back and a vase of flowers rested on a table at the foot of her bed. Naye had come by and left a picture Clair had drawn of Emily and the new baby (labeled by Naye). That sat on Emily's bedside table, next to a glass of water. Even after giving birth, hands and arms laced with IVS, Emily was beautiful. The baby had been taken into another room with the midwife so Emily could rest. I pulled up a pink hospital chair next to her bed and sat down.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. "Sam said you did great."

"Giving birth is a lot of work," she chuckled. "He put up quite a fight."

"So he's healthy? Everything's good?"

"Oh, he's _perfect_, Bella." She gushed. "I can't wait for you to see him. He looks just like Sam." I smiled for her.

"Is he like the rest of them?" I asked in somewhat of a code. No one had talked about the wolf factor in case one of the nurses or doctors overheard.

"It's possible. His fever isn't as high as the others – 103 degrees at birth. Enough to make me sweat at least," she grimaced. "We don't think he'll be fully fledged until later on."

"Another wolf for the pack. That'll bring it up to nine." I counted.

"I don't know how I'm going to feed everyone." Emily laughed. "You'll definitely have to help me."

"Absolutely," I agreed.

We sat in silence for a while, just she and I in her tiny room, until she spoke again.

"I know you're upset with Jacob," she said. A thin layer of sweat glistened on her forehead, but she was still stunning. "He told me what happened."

I played with a string hanging off my shirt.

"You chose him," she said, reaching her hand towards me and lifting my wrist, holding my hand. "You love him." I looked up and met her eyes.

She took a deep, meaningful breath. "The Quileutes have a small tribe – much smaller than the Cherokees or Iroquois – but our tribe has always been powerful. Our history is riddled with legends and myths and magic that other tribes can only pretend to claim. The very first chief was a shape shifter, like Sam and Jacob. Shape shifters don't age, as long as they keep shifting."

My jaw hit the floor. "_What?_ Wolves don't age?" Why was she telling me this now?

"Not as long as they shift consistently. Regularly. Ten days without shifting could earn you an overdue grey hair or two." She smiled. The heart monitor beeped softly in the background.

I was _not _smiling. I was in shock. Jake hadn't mentioned _this_ little tidbit at all. My blood was rushing; I could feel the inevitable panic setting in. It all came together now. How Quil could love Clair and wait for her. He wouldn't age. And he'd stay how he was – a teenager – until she grew up. Now I understood.

'"Yes, Jacob knows." She said, answering my unspoken question. I wrapped my arms around my knees and pulled them up to my chest. I took a shallow breath through my nose and closed my eyes. I was teetering on full blown panic mode.

"I didn't tell you at first because I thought you might not be able to handle it. I didn't want it to influence your decision…Immortality isn't something to take lightly. It messes with the natural order of things. But I supposed nothing about our relationships are normal, are they?" Her eyes stayed locked on the window pane by her bed and she took in a breath to continue. When she saw my impending condition out of her peripheral, she turned towards me. "Bella," Emily said more firmly, reaching out to touch the side of my face. "Calm down so I can finish explaining." I nodded.

Thoughtful, she continued. "These bracelets…they have certain powers. Clandestine magic. Quileute gifts used for centuries. The stones are passed down from generation to generation through the chief counsel."

She rolled the stones on her bracelet between her fingers. I watched the movement meticulously, focusing on breathing normally and the sound of her voice.

"Jacob is a shape shifter. As long as he keeps shifting as often as he does, he won't age. But you love him. Right? You want to be with him."

I nodded. Forever.

"This bracelet will allow you to. Legend says they will keep you alive for as long as Jake lives. You'll age, but slowly. Matching with the aging of Jacob. It only works, however, if you love him. _Really _love him, Bella. With no qualms or doubts. The bracelets can only be taken off if you're not 100% given to him, 100% committed. They break if the love is gone."

She looked up at me. I remembered back to when I'd taken it off the first time. And what that must've meant for Jacob. I felt so ashamed. But I knew it wouldn't come off now, and it never would again.

"I love him," I said confidently.

"I know," she smiled. I fingered the bracelet on my wrist. A long, extended life with Jacob. It's more than I could have ever asked for.

* * *

Short Chp! Review!


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